My name is Zaximus Decimus Meridius.
Commander of the Roomies of the House, General of the Western
Kitchen, loyal servant to the true emperor, Hubert Rodentius.
Owner to some murderous puns, friend to a half-empty bottle of
Jack. And I will have myself some more alcohol, in this hour or the
next.
While close friends suspected that something was amiss, they had
never grasped the full measure of Spideypat's dreadful condition.
An incident with a radioactive spider left Spideypat with a penchant
for climbing walls, buildings and anything else clearly marked
"Authorized Personnel Only." When not fighting crime he haunts local
computer labs making obscure CS jokes.