The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain Samuel Clemens NOTICE PERSONS attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR Per G G Chief of Ordnance EXPLANATORY IN this book a number of dialects are used to wit the Missouri negro dialect the extremest form of the backwoods Southwestern dialect the ordinary Pike County dialect and four modified varieties of this last The shadings have not been done in a haphazard fashion or by guesswork but painstakingly and with the trustworthy guidance and support of personal familiarity with these several forms of speech I make this explanation for the reason that without it many readers would suppose that all these characters were trying to talk alike and not succeeding THE AUTHOR HUCKLEBERRY FINN Scene The Mississippi Valley Time Forty to fifty years ago CHAPTER I YOU don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer but that ain't no matter That book was made by Mr Mark Twain and he told the truth mainly There was things which he stretched but mainly he told the truth That is nothing I never seen anybody but lied one time or another without it was Aunt Polly or the widow or maybe Mary Aunt Polly Tom's Aunt Polly she is and Mary and the Widow Douglas is all told about in that book which is mostly a true book with some stretchers as I said before Now the way that the book winds up is this Tom and me found the money that the robbers hid in the cave and it made us rich We got six thousand dollars apiece all gold It was an awful sight of money when it was piled up Well Judge Thatcher he took it and put it out at interest and it fetched us a dollar a day apiece all the year round more than a body could tell what to do with The Widow Douglas she took me for her son and allowed she would sivilize me but it was rough living in the house all the time considering how dismal regular and decent the widow was in all her ways and so when I couldn't stand it no longer I lit out I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again and was free and satisfied But Tom Sawyer he hunted me up and said he was going to start a band of robbers and I might join if I would go back to the widow and be respectable So I went back The widow she cried over me and called me a poor lost lamb and she called me a lot of other names too but she never meant no harm by it She put me in them new clothes again and I couldn't do nothing but sweat and sweat and feel all cramped up Well then the old thing commenced again The widow rung a bell for supper and you had to come to time When you got to the table you couldn't go right to eating but you had to wait for the widow to tuck down her head and grumble a little over the victuals though there warn't really anything the matter with them that is nothing only everything was cooked by itself In a barrel of odds and ends it is different things get mixed up and the juice kind of swaps around and the things go better After supper she got out her book and learned me about Moses and the Bulrushers and I was in a sweat to find out all about him but by and by she let it out that Moses had been dead a considerable long time so then I didn't care no more about him because I don't take no stock in dead people Pretty soon I wanted to smoke and asked the widow to let me But she wouldn't She said it was a mean practice and wasn't clean and I must try to not do it any more That is just the way with some people They get down on a thing when they don't know nothing about it Here she was a-bothering about Moses which was no kin to her and no use to anybody being gone you see yet finding a power of fault with me for doing a thing that had some good in it And she took snuff too of course that was all right because she done it herself Her sister Miss Watson a tolerable slim old maid with goggles on had just come to live with her and took a set at me now with a spelling-book She worked me middling hard for about an hour and then the widow made her ease up I couldn't stood it much longer Then for an hour it was deadly dull and I was fidgety Miss Watson would say Don't put your feet up there Huckleberry and Don't scrunch up like that Huckleberry set up straight and pretty soon she would say Don't gap and stretch like that Huckleberry why don't you try to behave Then she told me all about the bad place and I said I wished I was there She got mad then but I didn't mean no harm All I wanted was to go somewheres all I wanted was a change I warn't particular She said it was wicked to say what I said said she wouldn't say it for the whole world she was going to live so as to go to the good place Well I couldn't see no advantage in going where she was going so I made up my mind I wouldn't try for it But I never said so because it would only make trouble and wouldn't do no good Now she had got a start and she went on and told me all about the good place She said all a body would have to do there was to go around all day long with a harp and sing forever and ever So I didn't think much of it But I never said so I asked her if she reckoned Tom Sawyer would go there and she said not by a considerable sight I was glad about that because I wanted him and me to be together Miss Watson she kept pecking at me and it got tiresome and lonesome By and by they fetched the niggers in and had prayers and then everybody was off to bed I went up to my room with a piece of candle and put it on the table Then I set down in a chair by the window and tried to think of something cheerful but it warn't no use I felt so lonesome I most wished I was dead The stars were shining and the leaves rustled in the woods ever so mournful and I heard an owl away off who-whooing about somebody that was dead and a whippowill and a dog crying about somebody that was going to die and the wind was trying to whisper something to me and I couldn't make out what it was and so it made the cold shivers run over me Then away out in the woods I heard that kind of a sound that a ghost makes when it wants to tell about something that's on its mind and can't make itself understood and so can't rest easy in its grave and has to go about that way every night grieving I got so down-hearted and scared I did wish I had some company Pretty soon a spider went crawling up my shoulder and I flipped it off and it lit in the candle and before I could budge it was all shriveled up I didn't need anybody to tell me that that was an awful bad sign and would fetch me some bad luck so I was scared and most shook the clothes off of me I got up and turned around in my tracks three times and crossed my breast every time and then I tied up a little lock of my hair with a thread to keep witches away But I hadn't no confidence You do that when you've lost a horseshoe that you've found instead of nailing it up over the door but I hadn't ever heard anybody say it was any way to keep off bad luck when you'd killed a spider I set down again a-shaking all over and got out my pipe for a smoke for the house was all as still as death now and so the widow wouldn't know Well after a long time I heard the clock away off in the town go boom boom boom twelve licks and all still again stiller than ever Pretty soon I heard a twig snap down in the dark amongst the trees something was a stirring I set still and listened Directly I could just barely hear a me-yow me-yow down there That was good Says I me-yow me-yow as soft as I could and then I put out the light and scrambled out of the window on to the shed Then I slipped down to the ground and crawled in among the trees and sure enough there was Tom Sawyer waiting for me CHAPTER II WE went tiptoeing along a path amongst the trees back towards the end of the widow's garden stooping down so as the branches wouldn't scrape our heads When we was passing by the kitchen I fell over a root and made a noise We scrouched down and laid still Miss Watson's big nigger named Jim was setting in the kitchen door we could see him pretty clear because there was a light behind him He got up and stretched his neck out about a minute listening Then he says Who dah He listened some more then he come tiptoeing down and stood right between us we could a touched him nearly Well likely it was minutes and minutes that there warn't a sound and we all there so close together There was a place on my ankle that got to itching but I dasn't scratch it and then my ear begun to itch and next my back right between my shoulders Seemed like I'd die if I couldn't scratch Well I've noticed that thing plenty times since If you are with the quality or at a funeral or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places Pretty soon Jim says Say who is you Whar is you Dog my cats ef I didn' hear sumf'n Well I know what I's gwyne to do I's gwyne to set down here and listen tell I hears it agin So he set down on the ground betwixt me and Tom He leaned his back up against a tree and stretched his legs out till one of them most touched one of mine My nose begun to itch It itched till the tears come into my eyes But I dasn't scratch Then it begun to itch on the inside Next I got to itching underneath I didn't know how I was going to set still This miserableness went on as much as six or seven minutes but it seemed a sight longer than that I was itching in eleven different places now I reckoned I couldn't stand it more'n a minute longer but I set my teeth hard and got ready to try Just then Jim begun to breathe heavy next he begun to snore and then I was pretty soon comfortable again Tom he made a sign to me kind of a little noise with his mouth and we went creeping away on our hands and knees When we was ten foot off Tom whispered to me and wanted to tie Jim to the tree for fun But I said no he might wake and make a disturbance and then they'd find out I warn't in Then Tom said he hadn't got candles enough and he would slip in the kitchen and get some more I didn't want him to try I said Jim might wake up and come But Tom wanted to resk it so we slid in there and got three candles and Tom laid five cents on the table for pay Then we got out and I was in a sweat to get away but nothing would do Tom but he must crawl to where Jim was on his hands and knees and play something on him I waited and it seemed a good while everything was so still and lonesome As soon as Tom was back we cut along the path around the garden fence and by and by fetched up on the steep top of the hill the other side of the house Tom said he slipped Jim's hat off of his head and hung it on a limb right over him and Jim stirred a little but he didn't wake Afterwards Jim said the witches be witched him and put him in a trance and rode him all over the State and then set him under the trees again and hung his hat on a limb to show who done it And next time Jim told it he said they rode him down to New Orleans and after that every time he told it he spread it more and more till by and by he said they rode him all over the world and tired him most to death and his back was all over saddle-boils Jim was monstrous proud about it and he got so he wouldn't hardly notice the other niggers Niggers would come miles to hear Jim tell about it and he was more looked up to than any nigger in that country Strange niggers would stand with their mouths open and look him all over same as if he was a wonder Niggers is always talking about witches in the dark by the kitchen fire but whenever one was talking and letting on to know all about such things Jim would happen in and say Hm What you know 'bout witches and that nigger was corked up and had to take a back seat Jim always kept that five-center piece round his neck with a string and said it was a charm the devil give to him with his own hands and told him he could cure anybody with it and fetch witches whenever he wanted to just by saying something to it but he never told what it was he said to it Niggers would come from all around there and give Jim anything they had just for a sight of that five-center piece but they wouldn't touch it because the devil had had his hands on it Jim was most ruined for a servant because he got stuck up on account of having seen the devil and been rode by witches Well when Tom and me got to the edge of the hilltop we looked away down into the village and could see three or four lights twinkling where there was sick folks maybe and the stars over us was sparkling ever so fine and down by the village was the river a whole mile broad and awful still and grand We went down the hill and found Jo Harper and Ben Rogers and two or three more of the boys hid in the old tanyard So we unhitched a skiff and pulled down the river two mile and a half to the big scar on the hillside and went ashore We went to a clump of bushes and Tom made everybody swear to keep the secret and then showed them a hole in the hill right in the thickest part of the bushes Then we lit the candles and crawled in on our hands and knees We went about two hundred yards and then the cave opened up Tom poked about amongst the passages and pretty soon ducked under a wall where you wouldn't a noticed that there was a hole We went along a narrow place and got into a kind of room all damp and sweaty and cold and there we stopped Tom says Now we'll start this band of robbers and call it Tom Sawyer's Gang Everybody that wants to join has got to take an oath and write his name in blood Everybody was willing So Tom got out a sheet of paper that he had wrote the oath on and read it It swore every boy to stick to the band and never tell any of the secrets and if anybody done anything to any boy in the band whichever boy was ordered to kill that person and his family must do it and he mustn't eat and he mustn't sleep till he had killed them and hacked a cross in their breasts which was the sign of the band And nobody that didn't belong to the band could use that mark and if he did he must be sued and if he done it again he must be killed And if anybody that belonged to the band told the secrets he must have his throat cut and then have his carcass burnt up and the ashes scattered all around and his name blotted off of the list with blood and never mentioned again by the gang but have a curse put on it and be forgot forever Everybody said it was a real beautiful oath and asked Tom if he got it out of his own head He said some of it but the rest was out of pirate-books and robber-books and every gang that was high-toned had it Some thought it would be good to kill the FAMILIES of boys that told the secrets Tom said it was a good idea so he took a pencil and wrote it in Then Ben Rogers says Here's Huck Finn he hain't got no family what you going to do 'bout him Well hain't he got a father says Tom Sawyer Yes he's got a father but you can't never find him these days He used to lay drunk with the hogs in the tanyard but he hain't been seen in these parts for a year or more They talked it over and they was going to rule me out because they said every boy must have a family or somebody to kill or else it wouldn't be fair and square for the others Well nobody could think of anything to do everybody was stumped and set still I was most ready to cry but all at once I thought of a way and so I offered them Miss Watson they could kill her Everybody said Oh she'll do That's all right Huck can come in Then they all stuck a pin in their fingers to get blood to sign with and I made my mark on the paper Now says Ben Rogers what's the line of business of this Gang Nothing only robbery and murder Tom said But who are we going to rob houses or cattle or Stuff stealing cattle and such things ain't robbery it's burglary says Tom Sawyer We ain't burglars That ain't no sort of style We are highwaymen We stop stages and carriages on the road with masks on and kill the people and take their watches and money Must we always kill the people Oh certainly It's best Some authorities think different but mostly it's considered best to kill them except some that you bring to the cave here and keep them till they're ransomed Ransomed What's that I don't know But that's what they do I've seen it in books and so of course that's what we've got to do But how can we do it if we don't know what it is Why blame it all we've GOT to do it Don't I tell you it's in the books Do you want to go to doing different from what's in the books and get things all muddled up Oh that's all very fine to SAY Tom Sawyer but how in the nation are these fellows going to be ransomed if we don't know how to do it to them that's the thing I want to get at Now what do you reckon it is Well I don't know But per'aps if we keep them till they're ransomed it means that we keep them till they're dead Now that's something LIKE That'll answer Why couldn't you said that before We'll keep them till they're ransomed to death and a bothersome lot they'll be too eating up everything and always trying to get loose How you talk Ben Rogers How can they get loose when there's a guard over them ready to shoot them down if they move a peg A guard Well that IS good So somebody's got to set up all night and never get any sleep just so as to watch them I think that's foolishness Why can't a body take a club and ransom them as soon as they get here Because it ain't in the books so that's why Now Ben Rogers do you want to do things regular or don't you that's the idea Don't you reckon that the people that made the books knows what's the correct thing to do Do you reckon YOU can learn 'em anything Not by a good deal No sir we'll just go on and ransom them in the regular way All right I don't mind but I say it's a fool way anyhow Say do we kill the women too Well Ben Rogers if I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't let on Kill the women No nobody ever saw anything in the books like that You fetch them to the cave and you're always as polite as pie to them and by and by they fall in love with you and never want to go home any more Well if that's the way I'm agreed but I don't take no stock in it Mighty soon we'll have the cave so cluttered up with women and fellows waiting to be ransomed that there won't be no place for the robbers But go ahead I ain't got nothing to say Little Tommy Barnes was asleep now and when they waked him up he was scared and cried and said he wanted to go home to his ma and didn't want to be a robber any more So they all made fun of him and called him cry-baby and that made him mad and he said he would go straight and tell all the secrets But Tom give him five cents to keep quiet and said we would all go home and meet next week and rob somebody and kill some people Ben Rogers said he couldn't get out much only Sundays and so he wanted to begin next Sunday but all the boys said it would be wicked to do it on Sunday and that settled the thing They agreed to get together and fix a day as soon as they could and then we elected Tom Sawyer first captain and Jo Harper second captain of the Gang and so started home I clumb up the shed and crept into my window just before day was breaking My new clothes was all greased up and clayey and I was dog-tired CHAPTER III WELL I got a good going-over in the morning from old Miss Watson on account of my clothes but the widow she didn't scold but only cleaned off the grease and clay and looked so sorry that I thought I would behave awhile if I could Then Miss Watson she took me in the closet and prayed but nothing come of it She told me to pray every day and whatever I asked for I would get it But it warn't so I tried it Once I got a fish-line but no hooks It warn't any good to me without hooks I tried for the hooks three or four times but somehow I couldn't make it work By and by one day I asked Miss Watson to try for me but she said I was a fool She never told me why and I couldn't make it out no way I set down one time back in the woods and had a long think about it I says to myself if a body can get anything they pray for why don't Deacon Winn get back the money he lost on pork Why can't the widow get back her silver snuffbox that was stole Why can't Miss Watson fat up No says I to my self there ain't nothing in it I went and told the widow about it and she said the thing a body could get by praying for it was spiritual gifts This was too many for me but she told me what she meant I must help other people and do everything I could for other people and look out for them all the time and never think about myself This was including Miss Watson as I took it I went out in the woods and turned it over in my mind a long time but I couldn't see no advantage about it except for the other people so at last I reckoned I wouldn't worry about it any more but just let it go Sometimes the widow would take me one side and talk about Providence in a way to make a body's mouth water but maybe next day Miss Watson would take hold and knock it all down again I judged I could see that there was two Providences and a poor chap would stand considerable show with the widow's Providence but if Miss Watson's got him there warn't no help for him any more I thought it all out and reckoned I would belong to the widow's if he wanted me though I couldn't make out how he was a-going to be any better off then than what he was before seeing I was so ignorant and so kind of low-down and ornery Pap he hadn't been seen for more than a year and that was comfortable for me I didn't want to see him no more He used to always whale me when he was sober and could get his hands on me though I used to take to the woods most of the time when he was around Well about this time he was found in the river drownded about twelve mile above town so people said They judged it was him anyway said this drownded man was just his size and was ragged and had uncommon long hair which was all like pap but they couldn't make nothing out of the face because it had been in the water so long it warn't much like a face at all They said he was floating on his back in the water They took him and buried him on the bank But I warn't comfortable long because I happened to think of something I knowed mighty well that a drownded man don't float on his back but on his face So I knowed then that this warn't pap but a woman dressed up in a man's clothes So I was uncomfortable again I judged the old man would turn up again by and by though I wished he wouldn't We played robber now and then about a month and then I resigned All the boys did We hadn't robbed nobody hadn't killed any people but only just pretended We used to hop out of the woods and go charging down on hog-drivers and women in carts taking garden stuff to market but we never hived any of them Tom Sawyer called the hogs ingots and he called the turnips and stuff julery and we would go to the cave and powwow over what we had done and how many people we had killed and marked But I couldn't see no profit in it One time Tom sent a boy to run about town with a blazing stick which he called a slogan which was the sign for the Gang to get together and then he said he had got secret news by his spies that next day a whole parcel of Spanish merchants and rich A-rabs was going to camp in Cave Hollow with two hundred elephants and six hundred camels and over a thousand sumter mules all loaded down with di'monds and they didn't have only a guard of four hundred soldiers and so we would lay in ambuscade as he called it and kill the lot and scoop the things He said we must slick up our swords and guns and get ready He never could go after even a turnip-cart but he must have the swords and guns all scoured up for it though they was only lath and broomsticks and you might scour at them till you rotted and then they warn't worth a mouthful of ashes more than what they was before I didn't believe we could lick such a crowd of Spaniards and A-rabs but I wanted to see the camels and elephants so I was on hand next day Saturday in the ambuscade and when we got the word we rushed out of the woods and down the hill But there warn't no Spaniards and A-rabs and there warn't no camels nor no elephants It warn't anything but a Sunday-school picnic and only a primer-class at that We busted it up and chased the children up the hollow but we never got anything but some doughnuts and jam though Ben Rogers got a rag doll and Jo Harper got a hymn-book and a tract and then the teacher charged in and made us drop everything and cut I didn't see no di'monds and I told Tom Sawyer so He said there was loads of them there anyway and he said there was A-rabs there too and elephants and things I said why couldn't we see them then He said if I warn't so ignorant but had read a book called Don Quixote I would know without asking He said it was all done by enchantment He said there was hundreds of soldiers there and elephants and treasure and so on but we had enemies which he called magicians and they had turned the whole thing into an infant Sunday-school just out of spite I said all right then the thing for us to do was to go for the magicians Tom Sawyer said I was a numskull Why said he a magician could call up a lot of genies and they would hash you up like nothing before you could say Jack Robinson They are as tall as a tree and as big around as a church Well I says s'pose we got some genies to help US can't we lick the other crowd then How you going to get them I don't know How do THEY get them Why they rub an old tin lamp or an iron ring and then the genies come tearing in with the thunder and lightning a-ripping around and the smoke a-rolling and everything they're told to do they up and do it They don't think nothing of pulling a shot-tower up by the roots and belting a Sunday-school superintendent over the head with it or any other man Who makes them tear around so Why whoever rubs the lamp or the ring They belong to whoever rubs the lamp or the ring and they've got to do whatever he says If he tells them to build a palace forty miles long out of di'monds and fill it full of chewing-gum or whatever you want and fetch an emperor's daughter from China for you to marry they've got to do it and they've got to do it before sun-up next morning too And more they've got to waltz that palace around over the country wherever you want it you understand Well says I I think they are a pack of flat-heads for not keeping the palace themselves 'stead of fooling them away like that And what's more if I was one of them I would see a man in Jericho before I would drop my business and come to him for the rubbing of an old tin lamp How you talk Huck Finn Why you'd HAVE to come when he rubbed it whether you wanted to or not What and I as high as a tree and as big as a church All right then I WOULD come but I lay I'd make that man climb the highest tree there was in the country Shucks it ain't no use to talk to you Huck Finn You don't seem to know anything somehow perfect saphead I thought all this over for two or three days and then I reckoned I would see if there was anything in it I got an old tin lamp and an iron ring and went out in the woods and rubbed and rubbed till I sweat like an Injun calculating to build a palace and sell it but it warn't no use none of the genies come So then I judged that all that stuff was only just one of Tom Sawyer's lies I reckoned he believed in the A-rabs and the elephants but as for me I think different It had all the marks of a Sunday-school CHAPTER IV WELL three or four months run along and it was well into the winter now I had been to school most all the time and could spell and read and write just a little and could say the multiplication table up to six times seven is thirty-five and I don't reckon I could ever get any further than that if I was to live forever I don't take no stock in mathematics anyway At first I hated the school but by and by I got so I could stand it Whenever I got uncommon tired I played hookey and the hiding I got next day done me good and cheered me up So the longer I went to school the easier it got to be I was getting sort of used to the widow's ways too and they warn't so raspy on me Living in a house and sleeping in a bed pulled on me pretty tight mostly but before the cold weather I used to slide out and sleep in the woods sometimes and so that was a rest to me I liked the old ways best but I was getting so I liked the new ones too a little bit The widow said I was coming along slow but sure and doing very satisfactory She said she warn't ashamed of me One morning I happened to turn over the salt-cellar at breakfast I reached for some of it as quick as I could to throw over my left shoulder and keep off the bad luck but Miss Watson was in ahead of me and crossed me off She says Take your hands away Huckleberry what a mess you are always making The widow put in a good word for me but that warn't going to keep off the bad luck I knowed that well enough I started out after breakfast feeling worried and shaky and wondering where it was going to fall on me and what it was going to be There is ways to keep off some kinds of bad luck but this wasn't one of them kind so I never tried to do anything but just poked along low-spirited and on the watch-out I went down to the front garden and clumb over the stile where you go through the high board fence There was an inch of new snow on the ground and I seen somebody's tracks They had come up from the quarry and stood around the stile a while and then went on around the garden fence It was funny they hadn't come in after standing around so I couldn't make it out It was very curious somehow I was going to follow around but I stooped down to look at the tracks first I didn't notice anything at first but next I did There was a cross in the left boot-heel made with big nails to keep off the devil I was up in a second and shinning down the hill I looked over my shoulder every now and then but I didn't see nobody I was at Judge Thatcher's as quick as I could get there He said Why my boy you are all out of breath Did you come for your interest No sir I says is there some for me Oh yes a half-yearly is in last night over a hundred and fifty dollars Quite a fortune for you You had better let me invest it along with your six thousand because if you take it you'll spend it No sir I says I don't want to spend it I don't want it at all nor the six thousand nuther I want you to take it I want to give it to you the six thousand and all He looked surprised He couldn't seem to make it out He says Why what can you mean my boy I says Don't you ask me no questions about it please You'll take it won't you He says Well I'm puzzled Is something the matter Please take it says I and don't ask me nothing then I won't have to tell no lies He studied a while and then he says Oho-o I think I see You want to SELL all your property to me not give it That's the correct idea Then he wrote something on a paper and read it over and says There you see it says 'for a consideration That means I have bought it of you and paid you for it Here's a dollar for you Now you sign it So I signed it and left Miss Watson's nigger Jim had a hair-ball as big as your fist which had been took out of the fourth stomach of an ox and he used to do magic with it He said there was a spirit inside of it and it knowed everything So I went to him that night and told him pap was here again for I found his tracks in the snow What I wanted to know was what he was going to do and was he going to stay Jim got out his hair-ball and said something over it and then he held it up and dropped it on the floor It fell pretty solid and only rolled about an inch Jim tried it again and then another time and it acted just the same Jim got down on his knees and put his ear against it and listened But it warn't no use he said it wouldn't talk He said sometimes it wouldn't talk without money I told him I had an old slick counterfeit quarter that warn't no good because the brass showed through the silver a little and it wouldn't pass nohow even if the brass didn't show because it was so slick it felt greasy and so that would tell on it every time I reckoned I wouldn't say nothing about the dollar I got from the judge I said it was pretty bad money but maybe the hair-ball would take it because maybe it wouldn't know the difference Jim smelt it and bit it and rubbed it and said he would manage so the hair-ball would think it was good He said he would split open a raw Irish potato and stick the quarter in between and keep it there all night and next morning you couldn't see no brass and it wouldn't feel greasy no more and so anybody in town would take it in a minute let alone a hair-ball Well I knowed a potato would do that before but I had forgot it Jim put the quarter under the hair-ball and got down and listened again This time he said the hair-ball was all right He said it would tell my whole fortune if I wanted it to I says go on So the hair-ball talked to Jim and Jim told it to me He says Yo' ole father doan' know yit what he's a-gwyne to do Sometimes he spec he'll go 'way en den agin he spec he'll stay De bes' way is to res' easy en let de ole man take his own way Dey's two angels hoverin' roun' 'bout him One uv 'em is white en shiny en t'other one is black De white one gits him to go right a little while den de black one sail in en bust it all up A body can't tell yit which one gwyne to fetch him at de las' But you is all right You gwyne to have considable trouble in yo' life en considable joy Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt en sometimes you gwyne to git sick but every time you's gwyne to git well agin Dey's two gals flyin' 'bout you in yo' life One uv 'em's light en t'other one is dark One is rich en t'other is po' You's gwyne to marry de po' one fust en de rich one by en by You wants to keep 'way fum de water as much as you kin en don't run no resk 'kase it's down in de bills dat you's gwyne to git hung When I lit my candle and went up to my room that night there sat pap his own self CHAPTER V I HAD shut the door to Then I turned around and there he was I used to be scared of him all the time he tanned me so much I reckoned I was scared now too but in a minute I see I was mistaken that is after the first jolt as you may say when my breath sort of hitched he being so unexpected but right away after I see I warn't scared of him worth bothring about He was most fifty and he looked it His hair was long and tangled and greasy and hung down and you could see his eyes shining through like he was behind vines It was all black no gray so was his long mixed-up whiskers There warn't no color in his face where his face showed it was white not like another man's white but a white to make a body sick a white to make a body's flesh crawl a tree-toad white a fish-belly white As for his clothes just rags that was all He had one ankle resting on t'other knee the boot on that foot was busted and two of his toes stuck through and he worked them now and then His hat was laying on the floor an old black slouch with the top caved in like a lid I stood a-looking at him he set there a-looking at me with his chair tilted back a little I set the candle down I noticed the window was up so he had clumb in by the shed He kept a-looking me all over By and by he says Starchy clothes very You think you're a good deal of a big-bug DON'T you Maybe I am maybe I ain't I says Don't you give me none o' your lip says he You've put on considerable many frills since I been away I'll take you down a peg before I get done with you You're educated too they say can read and write You think you're better'n your father now don't you because he can't I'LL take it out of you Who told you you might meddle with such hifalut'n foolishness hey who told you you could The widow She told me The widow hey and who told the widow she could put in her shovel about a thing that ain't none of her business Nobody never told her Well I'll learn her how to meddle And looky here you drop that school you hear I'll learn people to bring up a boy to put on airs over his own father and let on to be better'n what HE is You lemme catch you fooling around that school again you hear Your mother couldn't read and she couldn't write nuther before she died None of the family couldn't before THEY died I can't and here you're a-swelling yourself up like this I ain't the man to stand it you hear Say lemme hear you read I took up a book and begun something about General Washington and the wars When I'd read about a half a minute he fetched the book a whack with his hand and knocked it across the house He says It's so You can do it I had my doubts when you told me Now looky here you stop that putting on frills I won't have it I'll lay for you my smarty and if I catch you about that school I'll tan you good First you know you'll get religion too I never see such a son He took up a little blue and yaller picture of some cows and a boy and says What's this It's something they give me for learning my lessons good He tore it up and says I'll give you something better I'll give you a cowhide He set there a-mumbling and a-growling a minute and then he says AIN'T you a sweet-scented dandy though A bed and bedclothes and a look'n'-glass and a piece of carpet on the floor and your own father got to sleep with the hogs in the tanyard I never see such a son I bet I'll take some o' these frills out o' you before I'm done with you Why there ain't no end to your airs they say you're rich Hey how's that They lie that's how Looky here mind how you talk to me I'm a-standing about all I can stand now so don't gimme no sass I've been in town two days and I hain't heard nothing but about you bein' rich I heard about it away down the river too That's why I come You git me that money to-morrow I want it I hain't got no money It's a lie Judge Thatcher's got it You git it I want it I hain't got no money I tell you You ask Judge Thatcher he'll tell you the same All right I'll ask him and I'll make him pungle too or I'll know the reason why Say how much you got in your pocket I want it I hain't got only a dollar and I want that to It don't make no difference what you want it for you just shell it out He took it and bit it to see if it was good and then he said he was going down town to get some whisky said he hadn't had a drink all day When he had got out on the shed he put his head in again and cussed me for putting on frills and trying to be better than him and when I reckoned he was gone he come back and put his head in again and told me to mind about that school because he was going to lay for me and lick me if I didn't drop that Next day he was drunk and he went to Judge Thatcher's and bullyragged him and tried to make him give up the money but he couldn't and then he swore he'd make the law force him The judge and the widow went to law to get the court to take me away from him and let one of them be my guardian but it was a new judge that had just come and he didn't know the old man so he said courts mustn't interfere and separate families if they could help it said he'd druther not take a child away from its father So Judge Thatcher and the widow had to quit on the business That pleased the old man till he couldn't rest He said he'd cowhide me till I was black and blue if I didn't raise some money for him I borrowed three dollars from Judge Thatcher and pap took it and got drunk and went a-blowing around and cussing and whooping and carrying on and he kept it up all over town with a tin pan till most midnight then they jailed him and next day they had him before court and jailed him again for a week But he said HE was satisfied said he was boss of his son and he'd make it warm for HIM When he got out the new judge said he was a-going to make a man of him So he took him to his own house and dressed him up clean and nice and had him to breakfast and dinner and supper with the family and was just old pie to him so to speak And after supper he talked to him about temperance and such things till the old man cried and said he'd been a fool and fooled away his life but now he was a-going to turn over a new leaf and be a man nobody wouldn't be ashamed of and he hoped the judge would help him and not look down on him The judge said he could hug him for them words so he cried and his wife she cried again pap said he'd been a man that had always been misunderstood before and the judge said he believed it The old man said that what a man wanted that was down was sympathy and the judge said it was so so they cried again And when it was bedtime the old man rose up and held out his hand and says Look at it gentlemen and ladies all take a-hold of it shake it There's a hand that was the hand of a hog but it ain't so no more it's the hand of a man that's started in on a new life and'll die before he'll go back You mark them words don't forget I said them It's a clean hand now shake it don't be afeard So they shook it one after the other all around and cried The judge's wife she kissed it Then the old man he signed a pledge made his mark The judge said it was the holiest time on record or something like that Then they tucked the old man into a beautiful room which was the spare room and in the night some time he got powerful thirsty and clumb out on to the porch-roof and slid down a stanchion and traded his new coat for a jug of forty-rod and clumb back again and had a good old time and towards daylight he crawled out again drunk as a fiddler and rolled off the porch and broke his left arm in two places and was most froze to death when somebody found him after sun-up And when they come to look at that spare room they had to take soundings before they could navigate it The judge he felt kind of sore He said he reckoned a body could reform the old man with a shotgun maybe but he didn't know no other way CHAPTER VI WELL pretty soon the old man was up and around again and then he went for Judge Thatcher in the courts to make him give up that money and he went for me too for not stopping school He catched me a couple of times and thrashed me but I went to school just the same and dodged him or outrun him most of the time I didn't want to go to school much before but I reckoned I'd go now to spite pap That law trial was a slow business appeared like they warn't ever going to get started on it so every now and then I'd borrow two or three dollars off of the judge for him to keep from getting a cowhiding Every time he got money he got drunk and every time he got drunk he raised Cain around town and every time he raised Cain he got jailed He was just suited this kind of thing was right in his line He got to hanging around the widow's too much and so she told him at last that if he didn't quit using around there she would make trouble for him Well WASN'T he mad He said he would show who was Huck Finn's boss So he watched out for me one day in the spring and catched me and took me up the river about three mile in a skiff and crossed over to the Illinois shore where it was woody and there warn't no houses but an old log hut in a place where the timber was so thick you couldn't find it if you didn't know where it was He kept me with him all the time and I never got a chance to run off We lived in that old cabin and he always locked the door and put the key under his head nights He had a gun which he had stole I reckon and we fished and hunted and that was what we lived on Every little while he locked me in and went down to the store three miles to the ferry and traded fish and game for whisky and fetched it home and got drunk and had a good time and licked me The widow she found out where I was by and by and she sent a man over to try to get hold of me but pap drove him off with the gun and it warn't long after that till I was used to being where I was and liked it all but the cowhide part It was kind of lazy and jolly laying off comfortable all day smoking and fishing and no books nor study Two months or more run along and my clothes got to be all rags and dirt and I didn't see how I'd ever got to like it so well at the widow's where you had to wash and eat on a plate and comb up and go to bed and get up regular and be forever bothering over a book and have old Miss Watson pecking at you all the time I didn't want to go back no more I had stopped cussing because the widow didn't like it but now I took to it again because pap hadn't no objections It was pretty good times up in the woods there take it all around But by and by pap got too handy with his hick'ry and I couldn't stand it I was all over welts He got to going away so much too and locking me in Once he locked me in and was gone three days It was dreadful lonesome I judged he had got drowned and I wasn't ever going to get out any more I was scared I made up my mind I would fix up some way to leave there I had tried to get out of that cabin many a time but I couldn't find no way There warn't a window to it big enough for a dog to get through I couldn't get up the chimbly it was too narrow The door was thick solid oak slabs Pap was pretty careful not to leave a knife or anything in the cabin when he was away I reckon I had hunted the place over as much as a hundred times well I was most all the time at it because it was about the only way to put in the time But this time I found something at last I found an old rusty wood-saw without any handle it was laid in between a rafter and the clapboards of the roof I greased it up and went to work There was an old horse-blanket nailed against the logs at the far end of the cabin behind the table to keep the wind from blowing through the chinks and putting the candle out I got under the table and raised the blanket and went to work to saw a section of the big bottom log out big enough to let me through Well it was a good long job but I was getting towards the end of it when I heard pap's gun in the woods I got rid of the signs of my work and dropped the blanket and hid my saw and pretty soon pap come in Pap warn't in a good humor so he was his natural self He said he was down town and everything was going wrong His lawyer said he reckoned he would win his lawsuit and get the money if they ever got started on the trial but then there was ways to put it off a long time and Judge Thatcher knowed how to do it And he said people allowed there'd be another trial to get me away from him and give me to the widow for my guardian and they guessed it would win this time This shook me up considerable because I didn't want to go back to the widow's any more and be so cramped up and sivilized as they called it Then the old man got to cussing and cussed everything and everybody he could think of and then cussed them all over again to make sure he hadn't skipped any and after that he polished off with a kind of a general cuss all round including a considerable parcel of people which he didn't know the names of and so called them what's-his-name when he got to them and went right along with his cussing He said he would like to see the widow get me He said he would watch out and if they tried to come any such game on him he knowed of a place six or seven mile off to stow me in where they might hunt till they dropped and they couldn't find me That made me pretty uneasy again but only for a minute I reckoned I wouldn't stay on hand till he got that chance The old man made me go to the skiff and fetch the things he had got There was a fifty-pound sack of corn meal and a side of bacon ammunition and a four-gallon jug of whisky and an old book and two newspapers for wadding besides some tow I toted up a load and went back and set down on the bow of the skiff to rest I thought it all over and I reckoned I would walk off with the gun and some lines and take to the woods when I run away I guessed I wouldn't stay in one place but just tramp right across the country mostly night times and hunt and fish to keep alive and so get so far away that the old man nor the widow couldn't ever find me any more I judged I would saw out and leave that night if pap got drunk enough and I reckoned he would I got so full of it I didn't notice how long I was staying till the old man hollered and asked me whether I was asleep or drownded I got the things all up to the cabin and then it was about dark While I was cooking supper the old man took a swig or two and got sort of warmed up and went to ripping again He had been drunk over in town and laid in the gutter all night and he was a sight to look at A body would a thought he was Adam he was just all mud Whenever his liquor begun to work he most always went for the govment this time he says Call this a govment why just look at it and see what it's like Here's the law a-standing ready to take a man's son away from him a man's own son which he has had all the trouble and all the anxiety and all the expense of raising Yes just as that man has got that son raised at last and ready to go to work and begin to do suthin' for HIM and give him a rest the law up and goes for him And they call THAT govment That ain't all nuther The law backs that old Judge Thatcher up and helps him to keep me out o' my property Here's what the law does The law takes a man worth six thousand dollars and up'ards and jams him into an old trap of a cabin like this and lets him go round in clothes that ain't fitten for a hog They call that govment A man can't get his rights in a govment like this Sometimes I've a mighty notion to just leave the country for good and all Yes and I TOLD 'em so I told old Thatcher so to his face Lots of 'em heard me and can tell what I said Says I for two cents I'd leave the blamed country and never come a-near it agin Them's the very words I says look at my hat if you call it a hat but the lid raises up and the rest of it goes down till it's below my chin and then it ain't rightly a hat at all but more like my head was shoved up through a jint o' stove-pipe Look at it says I such a hat for me to wear one of the wealthiest men in this town if I could git my rights Oh yes this is a wonderful govment wonderful Why looky here There was a free nigger there from Ohio a mulatter most as white as a white man He had the whitest shirt on you ever see too and the shiniest hat and there ain't a man in that town that's got as fine clothes as what he had and he had a gold watch and chain and a silver-headed cane the awfulest old gray-headed nabob in the State And what do you think They said he was a p'fessor in a college and could talk all kinds of languages and knowed everything And that ain't the wust They said he could VOTE when he was at home Well that let me out Thinks I what is the country a-coming to It was 'lection day and I was just about to go and vote myself if I warn't too drunk to get there but when they told me there was a State in this country where they'd let that nigger vote I drawed out I says I'll never vote agin Them's the very words I said they all heard me and the country may rot for all me I'll never vote agin as long as I live And to see the cool way of that nigger why he wouldn't a give me the road if I hadn't shoved him out o' the way I says to the people why ain't this nigger put up at auction and sold that's what I want to know And what do you reckon they said Why they said he couldn't be sold till he'd been in the State six months and he hadn't been there that long yet There now that's a specimen They call that a govment that can't sell a free nigger till he's been in the State six months Here's a govment that calls itself a govment and lets on to be a govment and thinks it is a govment and yet's got to set stock-still for six whole months before it can take a hold of a prowling thieving infernal white-shirted free nigger and Pap was agoing on so he never noticed where his old limber legs was taking him to so he went head over heels over the tub of salt pork and barked both shins and the rest of his speech was all the hottest kind of language mostly hove at the nigger and the govment though he give the tub some too all along here and there He hopped around the cabin considerable first on one leg and then on the other holding first one shin and then the other one and at last he let out with his left foot all of a sudden and fetched the tub a rattling kick But it warn't good judgment because that was the boot that had a couple of his toes leaking out of the front end of it so now he raised a howl that fairly made a body's hair raise and down he went in the dirt and rolled there and held his toes and the cussing he done then laid over anything he had ever done previous He said so his own self afterwards He had heard old Sowberry Hagan in his best days and he said it laid over him too but I reckon that was sort of piling it on maybe After supper pap took the jug and said he had enough whisky there for two drunks and one delirium tremens That was always his word I judged he would be blind drunk in about an hour and then I would steal the key or saw myself out one or t'other He drank and drank and tumbled down on his blankets by and by but luck didn't run my way He didn't go sound asleep but was uneasy He groaned and moaned and thrashed around this way and that for a long time At last I got so sleepy I couldn't keep my eyes open all I could do and so before I knowed what I was about I was sound asleep and the candle burning I don't know how long I was asleep but all of a sudden there was an awful scream and I was up There was pap looking wild and skipping around every which way and yelling about snakes He said they was crawling up his legs and then he would give a jump and scream and say one had bit him on the cheek but I couldn't see no snakes He started and run round and round the cabin hollering Take him off take him off he's biting me on the neck I never see a man look so wild in the eyes Pretty soon he was all fagged out and fell down panting then he rolled over and over wonderful fast kicking things every which way and striking and grabbing at the air with his hands and screaming and saying there was devils a-hold of him He wore out by and by and laid still a while moaning Then he laid stiller and didn't make a sound I could hear the owls and the wolves away off in the woods and it seemed terrible still He was laying over by the corner By and by he raised up part way and listened with his head to one side He says very low Tramp tramp tramp that's the dead tramp tramp tramp they're coming after me but I won't go Oh they're here don't touch me don't hands off they're cold let go Oh let a poor devil alone Then he went down on all fours and crawled off begging them to let him alone and he rolled himself up in his blanket and wallowed in under the old pine table still a-begging and then he went to crying I could hear him through the blanket By and by he rolled out and jumped up on his feet looking wild and he see me and went for me He chased me round and round the place with a clasp-knife calling me the Angel of Death and saying he would kill me and then I couldn't come for him no more I begged and told him I was only Huck but he laughed SUCH a screechy laugh and roared and cussed and kept on chasing me up Once when I turned short and dodged under his arm he made a grab and got me by the jacket between my shoulders and I thought I was gone but I slid out of the jacket quick as lightning and saved myself Pretty soon he was all tired out and dropped down with his back against the door and said he would rest a minute and then kill me He put his knife under him and said he would sleep and get strong and then he would see who was who So he dozed off pretty soon By and by I got the old split-bottom chair and clumb up as easy as I could not to make any noise and got down the gun I slipped the ramrod down it to make sure it was loaded then I laid it across the turnip barrel pointing towards pap and set down behind it to wait for him to stir And how slow and still the time did drag along CHAPTER VII GIT up What you 'bout I opened my eyes and looked around trying to make out where I was It was after sun-up and I had been sound asleep Pap was standing over me looking sour and sick too He says What you doin' with this gun I judged he didn't know nothing about what he had been doing so I says Somebody tried to get in so I was laying for him Why didn't you roust me out Well I tried to but I couldn't I couldn't budge you Well all right Don't stand there palavering all day but out with you and see if there's a fish on the lines for breakfast I'll be along in a minute He unlocked the door and I cleared out up the river-bank I noticed some pieces of limbs and such things floating down and a sprinkling of bark so I knowed the river had begun to rise I reckoned I would have great times now if I was over at the town The June rise used to be always luck for me because as soon as that rise begins here comes cordwood floating down and pieces of log rafts sometimes a dozen logs together so all you have to do is to catch them and sell them to the wood-yards and the sawmill I went along up the bank with one eye out for pap and t'other one out for what the rise might fetch along Well all at once here comes a canoe just a beauty too about thirteen or fourteen foot long riding high like a duck I shot head-first off of the bank like a frog clothes and all on and struck out for the canoe I just expected there'd be somebody laying down in it because people often done that to fool folks and when a chap had pulled a skiff out most to it they'd raise up and laugh at him But it warn't so this time It was a drift-canoe sure enough and I clumb in and paddled her ashore Thinks I the old man will be glad when he sees this she's worth ten dollars But when I got to shore pap wasn't in sight yet and as I was running her into a little creek like a gully all hung over with vines and willows I struck another idea I judged I'd hide her good and then 'stead of taking to the woods when I run off I'd go down the river about fifty mile and camp in one place for good and not have such a rough time tramping on foot It was pretty close to the shanty and I thought I heard the old man coming all the time but I got her hid and then I out and looked around a bunch of willows and there was the old man down the path a piece just drawing a bead on a bird with his gun So he hadn't seen anything When he got along I was hard at it taking up a trot line He abused me a little for being so slow but I told him I fell in the river and that was what made me so long I knowed he would see I was wet and then he would be asking questions We got five catfish off the lines and went home While we laid off after breakfast to sleep up both of us being about wore out I got to thinking that if I could fix up some way to keep pap and the widow from trying to follow me it would be a certainer thing than trusting to luck to get far enough off before they missed me you see all kinds of things might happen Well I didn't see no way for a while but by and by pap raised up a minute to drink another barrel of water and he says Another time a man comes a-prowling round here you roust me out you hear That man warn't here for no good I'd a shot him Next time you roust me out you hear Then he dropped down and went to sleep again but what he had been saying give me the very idea I wanted I says to myself I can fix it now so nobody won't think of following me About twelve o'clock we turned out and went along up the bank The river was coming up pretty fast and lots of driftwood going by on the rise By and by along comes part of a log raft nine logs fast together We went out with the skiff and towed it ashore Then we had dinner Anybody but pap would a waited and seen the day through so as to catch more stuff but that warn't pap's style Nine logs was enough for one time he must shove right over to town and sell So he locked me in and took the skiff and started off towing the raft about half-past three I judged he wouldn't come back that night I waited till I reckoned he had got a good start then I out with my saw and went to work on that log again Before he was t'other side of the river I was out of the hole him and his raft was just a speck on the water away off yonder I took the sack of corn meal and took it to where the canoe was hid and shoved the vines and branches apart and put it in then I done the same with the side of bacon then the whisky-jug I took all the coffee and sugar there was and all the ammunition I took the wadding I took the bucket and gourd I took a dipper and a tin cup and my old saw and two blankets and the skillet and the coffee-pot I took fish-lines and matches and other things everything that was worth a cent I cleaned out the place I wanted an axe but there wasn't any only the one out at the woodpile and I knowed why I was going to leave that I fetched out the gun and now I was done I had wore the ground a good deal crawling out of the hole and dragging out so many things So I fixed that as good as I could from the outside by scattering dust on the place which covered up the smoothness and the sawdust Then I fixed the piece of log back into its place and put two rocks under it and one against it to hold it there for it was bent up at that place and didn't quite touch ground If you stood four or five foot away and didn't know it was sawed you wouldn't never notice it and besides this was the back of the cabin and it warn't likely anybody would go fooling around there It was all grass clear to the canoe so I hadn't left a track I followed around to see I stood on the bank and looked out over the river All safe So I took the gun and went up a piece into the woods and was hunting around for some birds when I see a wild pig hogs soon went wild in them bottoms after they had got away from the prairie farms I shot this fellow and took him into camp I took the axe and smashed in the door I beat it and hacked it considerable a-doing it I fetched the pig in and took him back nearly to the table and hacked into his throat with the axe and laid him down on the ground to bleed I say ground because it was ground hard packed and no boards Well next I took an old sack and put a lot of big rocks in it all I could drag and I started it from the pig and dragged it to the door and through the woods down to the river and dumped it in and down it sunk out of sight You could easy see that something had been dragged over the ground I did wish Tom Sawyer was there I knowed he would take an interest in this kind of business and throw in the fancy touches Nobody could spread himself like Tom Sawyer in such a thing as that Well last I pulled out some of my hair and blooded the axe good and stuck it on the back side and slung the axe in the corner Then I took up the pig and held him to my breast with my jacket so he couldn't drip till I got a good piece below the house and then dumped him into the river Now I thought of something else So I went and got the bag of meal and my old saw out of the canoe and fetched them to the house I took the bag to where it used to stand and ripped a hole in the bottom of it with the saw for there warn't no knives and forks on the place pap done everything with his clasp-knife about the cooking Then I carried the sack about a hundred yards across the grass and through the willows east of the house to a shallow lake that was five mile wide and full of rushes and ducks too you might say in the season There was a slough or a creek leading out of it on the other side that went miles away I don't know where but it didn't go to the river The meal sifted out and made a little track all the way to the lake I dropped pap's whetstone there too so as to look like it had been done by accident Then I tied up the rip in the meal sack with a string so it wouldn't leak no more and took it and my saw to the canoe again It was about dark now so I dropped the canoe down the river under some willows that hung over the bank and waited for the moon to rise I made fast to a willow then I took a bite to eat and by and by laid down in the canoe to smoke a pipe and lay out a plan I says to myself they'll follow the track of that sackful of rocks to the shore and then drag the river for me And they'll follow that meal track to the lake and go browsing down the creek that leads out of it to find the robbers that killed me and took the things They won't ever hunt the river for anything but my dead carcass They'll soon get tired of that and won't bother no more about me All right I can stop anywhere I want to Jackson's Island is good enough for me I know that island pretty well and nobody ever comes there And then I can paddle over to town nights and slink around and pick up things I want Jackson's Island's the place I was pretty tired and the first thing I knowed I was asleep When I woke up I didn't know where I was for a minute I set up and looked around a little scared Then I remembered The river looked miles and miles across The moon was so bright I could a counted the drift logs that went a-slipping along black and still hundreds of yards out from shore Everything was dead quiet and it looked late and SMELT late You know what I mean I don't know the words to put it in I took a good gap and a stretch and was just going to unhitch and start when I heard a sound away over the water I listened Pretty soon I made it out It was that dull kind of a regular sound that comes from oars working in rowlocks when it's a still night I peeped out through the willow branches and there it was a skiff away across the water I couldn't tell how many was in it It kept a-coming and when it was abreast of me I see there warn't but one man in it Think's I maybe it's pap though I warn't expecting him He dropped below me with the current and by and by he came a-swinging up shore in the easy water and he went by so close I could a reached out the gun and touched him Well it WAS pap sure enough and sober too by the way he laid his oars I didn't lose no time The next minute I was a-spinning down stream soft but quick in the shade of the bank I made two mile and a half and then struck out a quarter of a mile or more towards the middle of the river because pretty soon I would be passing the ferry landing and people might see me and hail me I got out amongst the driftwood and then laid down in the bottom of the canoe and let her float I laid there and had a good rest and a smoke out of my pipe looking away into the sky not a cloud in it The sky looks ever so deep when you lay down on your back in the moonshine I never knowed it before And how far a body can hear on the water such nights I heard people talking at the ferry landing I heard what they said too every word of it One man said it was getting towards the long days and the short nights now T'other one said THIS warn't one of the short ones he reckoned and then they laughed and he said it over again and they laughed again then they waked up another fellow and told him and laughed but he didn't laugh he ripped out something brisk and said let him alone The first fellow said he 'lowed to tell it to his old woman she would think it was pretty good but he said that warn't nothing to some things he had said in his time I heard one man say it was nearly three o'clock and he hoped daylight wouldn't wait more than about a week longer After that the talk got further and further away and I couldn't make out the words any more but I could hear the mumble and now and then a laugh too but it seemed a long ways off I was away below the ferry now I rose up and there was Jackson's Island about two mile and a half down stream heavy timbered and standing up out of the middle of the river big and dark and solid like a steamboat without any lights There warn't any signs of the bar at the head it was all under water now It didn't take me long to get there I shot past the head at a ripping rate the current was so swift and then I got into the dead water and landed on the side towards the Illinois shore I run the canoe into a deep dent in the bank that I knowed about I had to part the willow branches to get in and when I made fast nobody could a seen the canoe from the outside I went up and set down on a log at the head of the island and looked out on the big river and the black driftwood and away over to the town three mile away where there was three or four lights twinkling A monstrous big lumber-raft was about a mile up stream coming along down with a lantern in the middle of it I watched it come creeping down and when it was most abreast of where I stood I heard a man say Stern oars there heave her head to stabboard I heard that just as plain as if the man was by my side There was a little gray in the sky now so I stepped into the woods and laid down for a nap before breakfast CHAPTER VIII THE sun was up so high when I waked that I judged it was after eight o'clock I laid there in the grass and the cool shade thinking about things and feeling rested and ruther comfortable and satisfied I could see the sun out at one or two holes but mostly it was big trees all about and gloomy in there amongst them There was freckled places on the ground where the light sifted down through the leaves and the freckled places swapped about a little showing there was a little breeze up there A couple of squirrels set on a limb and jabbered at me very friendly I was powerful lazy and comfortable didn't want to get up and cook breakfast Well I was dozing off again when I thinks I hears a deep sound of boom away up the river I rouses up and rests on my elbow and listens pretty soon I hears it again I hopped up and went and looked out at a hole in the leaves and I see a bunch of smoke laying on the water a long ways up about abreast the ferry And there was the ferryboat full of people floating along down I knowed what was the matter now Boom I see the white smoke squirt out of the ferryboat's side You see they was firing cannon over the water trying to make my carcass come to the top I was pretty hungry but it warn't going to do for me to start a fire because they might see the smoke So I set there and watched the cannon-smoke and listened to the boom The river was a mile wide there and it always looks pretty on a summer morning so I was having a good enough time seeing them hunt for my remainders if I only had a bite to eat Well then I happened to think how they always put quicksilver in loaves of bread and float them off because they always go right to the drownded carcass and stop there So says I I'll keep a lookout and if any of them's floating around after me I'll give them a show I changed to the Illinois edge of the island to see what luck I could have and I warn't disappointed A big double loaf come along and I most got it with a long stick but my foot slipped and she floated out further Of course I was where the current set in the closest to the shore I knowed enough for that But by and by along comes another one and this time I won I took out the plug and shook out the little dab of quicksilver and set my teeth in It was baker's bread what the quality eat none of your low-down corn-pone I got a good place amongst the leaves and set there on a log munching the bread and watching the ferry-boat and very well satisfied And then something struck me I says now I reckon the widow or the parson or somebody prayed that this bread would find me and here it has gone and done it So there ain't no doubt but there is something in that thing that is there's something in it when a body like the widow or the parson prays but it don't work for me and I reckon it don't work for only just the right kind I lit a pipe and had a good long smoke and went on watching The ferryboat was floating with the current and I allowed I'd have a chance to see who was aboard when she come along because she would come in close where the bread did When she'd got pretty well along down towards me I put out my pipe and went to where I fished out the bread and laid down behind a log on the bank in a little open place Where the log forked I could peep through By and by she come along and she drifted in so close that they could a run out a plank and walked ashore Most everybody was on the boat Pap and Judge Thatcher and Bessie Thatcher and Jo Harper and Tom Sawyer and his old Aunt Polly and Sid and Mary and plenty more Everybody was talking about the murder but the captain broke in and says Look sharp now the current sets in the closest here and maybe he's washed ashore and got tangled amongst the brush at the water's edge I hope so anyway I didn't hope so They all crowded up and leaned over the rails nearly in my face and kept still watching with all their might I could see them first-rate but they couldn't see me Then the captain sung out Stand away and the cannon let off such a blast right before me that it made me deef with the noise and pretty near blind with the smoke and I judged I was gone If they'd a had some bullets in I reckon they'd a got the corpse they was after Well I see I warn't hurt thanks to goodness The boat floated on and went out of sight around the shoulder of the island I could hear the booming now and then further and further off and by and by after an hour I didn't hear it no more The island was three mile long I judged they had got to the foot and was giving it up But they didn't yet a while They turned around the foot of the island and started up the channel on the Missouri side under steam and booming once in a while as they went I crossed over to that side and watched them When they got abreast the head of the island they quit shooting and dropped over to the Missouri shore and went home to the town I knowed I was all right now Nobody else would come a-hunting after me I got my traps out of the canoe and made me a nice camp in the thick woods I made a kind of a tent out of my blankets to put my things under so the rain couldn't get at them I catched a catfish and haggled him open with my saw and towards sundown I started my camp fire and had supper Then I set out a line to catch some fish for breakfast When it was dark I set by my camp fire smoking and feeling pretty well satisfied but by and by it got sort of lonesome and so I went and set on the bank and listened to the current swashing along and counted the stars and drift logs and rafts that come down and then went to bed there ain't no better way to put in time when you are lonesome you can't stay so you soon get over it And so for three days and nights No difference just the same thing But the next day I went exploring around down through the island I was boss of it it all belonged to me so to say and I wanted to know all about it but mainly I wanted to put in the time I found plenty strawberries ripe and prime and green summer grapes and green razberries and the green blackberries was just beginning to show They would all come handy by and by I judged Well I went fooling along in the deep woods till I judged I warn't far from the foot of the island I had my gun along but I hadn't shot nothing it was for protection thought I would kill some game nigh home About this time I mighty near stepped on a good-sized snake and it went sliding off through the grass and flowers and I after it trying to get a shot at it I clipped along and all of a sudden I bounded right on to the ashes of a camp fire that was still smoking My heart jumped up amongst my lungs I never waited for to look further but uncocked my gun and went sneaking back on my tiptoes as fast as ever I could Every now and then I stopped a second amongst the thick leaves and listened but my breath come so hard I couldn't hear nothing else I slunk along another piece further then listened again and so on and so on If I see a stump I took it for a man if I trod on a stick and broke it it made me feel like a person had cut one of my breaths in two and I only got half and the short half too When I got to camp I warn't feeling very brash there warn't much sand in my craw but I says this ain't no time to be fooling around So I got all my traps into my canoe again so as to have them out of sight and I put out the fire and scattered the ashes around to look like an old last year's camp and then clumb a tree I reckon I was up in the tree two hours but I didn't see nothing I didn't hear nothing I only THOUGHT I heard and seen as much as a thousand things Well I couldn't stay up there forever so at last I got down but I kept in the thick woods and on the lookout all the time All I could get to eat was berries and what was left over from breakfast By the time it was night I was pretty hungry So when it was good and dark I slid out from shore before moonrise and paddled over to the Illinois bank about a quarter of a mile I went out in the woods and cooked a supper and I had about made up my mind I would stay there all night when I hear a PLUNKETY-PLUNK PLUNKETY-PLUNK and says to myself horses coming and next I hear people's voices I got everything into the canoe as quick as I could and then went creeping through the woods to see what I could find out I hadn't got far when I hear a man say We better camp here if we can find a good place the horses is about beat out Let's look around I didn't wait but shoved out and paddled away easy I tied up in the old place and reckoned I would sleep in the canoe I didn't sleep much I couldn't somehow for thinking And every time I waked up I thought somebody had me by the neck So the sleep didn't do me no good By and by I says to myself I can't live this way I'm a-going to find out who it is that's here on the island with me I'll find it out or bust Well I felt better right off So I took my paddle and slid out from shore just a step or two and then let the canoe drop along down amongst the shadows The moon was shining and outside of the shadows it made it most as light as day I poked along well on to an hour everything still as rocks and sound asleep Well by this time I was most down to the foot of the island A little ripply cool breeze begun to blow and that was as good as saying the night was about done I give her a turn with the paddle and brung her nose to shore then I got my gun and slipped out and into the edge of the woods I sat down there on a log and looked out through the leaves I see the moon go off watch and the darkness begin to blanket the river But in a little while I see a pale streak over the treetops and knowed the day was coming So I took my gun and slipped off towards where I had run across that camp fire stopping every minute or two to listen But I hadn't no luck somehow I couldn't seem to find the place But by and by sure enough I catched a glimpse of fire away through the trees I went for it cautious and slow By and by I was close enough to have a look and there laid a man on the ground It most give me the fantods He had a blanket around his head and his head was nearly in the fire I set there behind a clump of bushes in about six foot of him and kept my eyes on him steady It was getting gray daylight now Pretty soon he gapped and stretched himself and hove off the blanket and it was Miss Watson's Jim I bet I was glad to see him I says Hello Jim and skipped out He bounced up and stared at me wild Then he drops down on his knees and puts his hands together and says Doan' hurt me don't I hain't ever done no harm to a ghos' I alwuz liked dead people en done all I could for 'em You go en git in de river agin whah you b'longs en doan' do nuffn to Ole Jim 'at 'uz awluz yo' fren' Well I warn't long making him understand I warn't dead I was ever so glad to see Jim I warn't lonesome now I told him I warn't afraid of HIM telling the people where I was I talked along but he only set there and looked at me never said nothing Then I says It's good daylight Le's get breakfast Make up your camp fire good What's de use er makin' up de camp fire to cook strawbries en sich truck But you got a gun hain't you Den we kin git sumfn better den strawbries Strawberries and such truck I says Is that what you live on I couldn' git nuffn else he says Why how long you been on the island Jim I come heah de night arter you's killed What all that time Yes indeedy And ain't you had nothing but that kind of rubbage to eat No sah nuffn else Well you must be most starved ain't you I reck'n I could eat a hoss I think I could How long you ben on de islan' Since the night I got killed No W'y what has you lived on But you got a gun Oh yes you got a gun Dat's good Now you kill sumfn en I'll make up de fire So we went over to where the canoe was and while he built a fire in a grassy open place amongst the trees I fetched meal and bacon and coffee and coffee-pot and frying-pan and sugar and tin cups and the nigger was set back considerable because he reckoned it was all done with witchcraft I catched a good big catfish too and Jim cleaned him with his knife and fried him When breakfast was ready we lolled on the grass and eat it smoking hot Jim laid it in with all his might for he was most about starved Then when we had got pretty well stuffed we laid off and lazied By and by Jim says But looky here Huck who wuz it dat 'uz killed in dat shanty ef it warn't you Then I told him the whole thing and he said it was smart He said Tom Sawyer couldn't get up no better plan than what I had Then I says How do you come to be here Jim and how'd you get here He looked pretty uneasy and didn't say nothing for a minute Then he says Maybe I better not tell Why Jim Well dey's reasons But you wouldn' tell on me ef I uz to tell you would you Huck Blamed if I would Jim Well I b'lieve you Huck I I RUN OFF Jim But mind you said you wouldn' tell you know you said you wouldn' tell Huck Well I did I said I wouldn't and I'll stick to it Honest INJUN I will People would call me a low-down Abolitionist and despise me for keeping mum but that don't make no difference I ain't a-going to tell and I ain't a-going back there anyways So now le's know all about it Well you see it 'uz dis way Ole missus dat's Miss Watson she pecks on me all de time en treats me pooty rough but she awluz said she wouldn' sell me down to Orleans But I noticed dey wuz a nigger trader roun' de place considable lately en I begin to git oneasy Well one night I creeps to de do' pooty late en de do' warn't quite shet en I hear old missus tell de widder she gwyne to sell me down to Orleans but she didn' want to but she could git eight hund'd dollars for me en it 'uz sich a big stack o' money she couldn' resis' De widder she try to git her to say she wouldn' do it but I never waited to hear de res' I lit out mighty quick I tell you I tuck out en shin down de hill en 'spec to steal a skift 'long de sho' som'ers 'bove de town but dey wuz people a-stirring yit so I hid in de ole tumble-down cooper-shop on de bank to wait for everybody to go 'way Well I wuz dah all night Dey wuz somebody roun' all de time 'Long 'bout six in de mawnin' skifts begin to go by en 'bout eight er nine every skift dat went 'long wuz talkin' 'bout how yo' pap come over to de town en say you's killed Dese las' skifts wuz full o' ladies en genlmen a-goin' over for to see de place Sometimes dey'd pull up at de sho' en take a res' b'fo' dey started acrost so by de talk I got to know all 'bout de killin' I 'uz powerful sorry you's killed Huck but I ain't no mo' now I laid dah under de shavin's all day I 'uz hungry but I warn't afeard bekase I knowed ole missus en de widder wuz goin' to start to de camp-meet'n' right arter breakfas' en be gone all day en dey knows I goes off wid de cattle 'bout daylight so dey wouldn' 'spec to see me roun' de place en so dey wouldn' miss me tell arter dark in de evenin' De yuther servants wouldn' miss me kase dey'd shin out en take holiday soon as de ole folks 'uz out'n de way Well when it come dark I tuck out up de river road en went 'bout two mile er more to whah dey warn't no houses I'd made up my mine 'bout what I's agwyne to do You see ef I kep' on tryin' to git away afoot de dogs 'ud track me ef I stole a skift to cross over dey'd miss dat skift you see en dey'd know 'bout whah I'd lan' on de yuther side en whah to pick up my track So I says a raff is what I's arter it doan' MAKE no track I see a light a-comin' roun' de p'int bymeby so I wade' in en shove' a log ahead o' me en swum more'n half way acrost de river en got in 'mongst de drift-wood en kep' my head down low en kinder swum agin de current tell de raff come along Den I swum to de stern uv it en tuck a-holt It clouded up en 'uz pooty dark for a little while So I clumb up en laid down on de planks De men 'uz all 'way yonder in de middle whah de lantern wuz De river wuz a-risin' en dey wuz a good current so I reck'n'd 'at by fo' in de mawnin' I'd be twenty-five mile down de river en den I'd slip in jis b'fo' daylight en swim asho' en take to de woods on de Illinois side But I didn' have no luck When we 'uz mos' down to de head er de islan' a man begin to come aft wid de lantern I see it warn't no use fer to wait so I slid overboard en struck out fer de islan' Well I had a notion I could lan' mos' anywhers but I couldn't bank too bluff I 'uz mos' to de foot er de islan' b'fo' I found' a good place I went into de woods en jedged I wouldn' fool wid raffs no mo' long as dey move de lantern roun' so I had my pipe en a plug er dog-leg en some matches in my cap en dey warn't wet so I 'uz all right And so you ain't had no meat nor bread to eat all this time Why didn't you get mud-turkles How you gwyne to git 'm You can't slip up on um en grab um en how's a body gwyne to hit um wid a rock How could a body do it in de night En I warn't gwyne to show mysef on de bank in de daytime Well that's so You've had to keep in the woods all the time of course Did you hear 'em shooting the cannon Oh yes I knowed dey was arter you I see um go by heah watched um thoo de bushes Some young birds come along flying a yard or two at a time and lighting Jim said it was a sign it was going to rain He said it was a sign when young chickens flew that way and so he reckoned it was the same way when young birds done it I was going to catch some of them but Jim wouldn't let me He said it was death He said his father laid mighty sick once and some of them catched a bird and his old granny said his father would die and he did And Jim said you mustn't count the things you are going to cook for dinner because that would bring bad luck The same if you shook the table-cloth after sundown And he said if a man owned a beehive and that man died the bees must be told about it before sun-up next morning or else the bees would all weaken down and quit work and die Jim said bees wouldn't sting idiots but I didn't believe that because I had tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me I had heard about some of these things before but not all of them Jim knowed all kinds of signs He said he knowed most everything I said it looked to me like all the signs was about bad luck and so I asked him if there warn't any good-luck signs He says Mighty few an' DEY ain't no use to a body What you want to know when good luck's a-comin' for Want to keep it off And he said Ef you's got hairy arms en a hairy breas' it's a sign dat you's agwyne to be rich Well dey's some use in a sign like dat 'kase it's so fur ahead You see maybe you's got to be po' a long time fust en so you might git discourage' en kill yo'sef 'f you didn' know by de sign dat you gwyne to be rich bymeby Have you got hairy arms and a hairy breast Jim What's de use to ax dat question Don't you see I has Well are you rich No but I ben rich wunst and gwyne to be rich agin Wunst I had foteen dollars but I tuck to specalat'n' en got busted out What did you speculate in Jim Well fust I tackled stock What kind of stock Why live stock cattle you know I put ten dollars in a cow But I ain' gwyne to resk no mo' money in stock De cow up 'n' died on my han's So you lost the ten dollars No I didn't lose it all I on'y los' 'bout nine of it I sole de hide en taller for a dollar en ten cents You had five dollars and ten cents left Did you speculate any more Yes You know that one-laigged nigger dat b'longs to old Misto Bradish Well he sot up a bank en say anybody dat put in a dollar would git fo' dollars mo' at de en' er de year Well all de niggers went in but dey didn't have much I wuz de on'y one dat had much So I stuck out for mo' dan fo' dollars en I said 'f I didn' git it I'd start a bank mysef Well o' course dat nigger want' to keep me out er de business bekase he says dey warn't business 'nough for two banks so he say I could put in my five dollars en he pay me thirty-five at de en' er de year So I done it Den I reck'n'd I'd inves' de thirty-five dollars right off en keep things a-movin' Dey wuz a nigger name' Bob dat had ketched a wood-flat en his marster didn' know it en I bought it off'n him en told him to take de thirty-five dollars when de en' er de year come but somebody stole de wood-flat dat night en nex day de one-laigged nigger say de bank's busted So dey didn' none uv us git no money What did you do with the ten cents Jim Well I 'uz gwyne to spen' it but I had a dream en de dream tole me to give it to a nigger name' Balum Balum's Ass dey call him for short he's one er dem chuckleheads you know But he's lucky dey say en I see I warn't lucky De dream say let Balum inves' de ten cents en he'd make a raise for me Well Balum he tuck de money en when he wuz in church he hear de preacher say dat whoever give to de po' len' to de Lord en boun' to git his money back a hund'd times So Balum he tuck en give de ten cents to de po' en laid low to see what wuz gwyne to come of it Well what did come of it Jim Nuffn never come of it I couldn' manage to k'leck dat money no way en Balum he couldn' I ain' gwyne to len' no mo' money 'dout I see de security Boun' to git yo' money back a hund'd times de preacher says Ef I could git de ten CENTS back I'd call it squah en be glad er de chanst Well it's all right anyway Jim long as you're going to be rich again some time or other Yes en I's rich now come to look at it I owns mysef en I's wuth eight hund'd dollars I wisht I had de money I wouldn' want no mo' CHAPTER IX I WANTED to go and look at a place right about the middle of the island that I'd found when I was exploring so we started and soon got to it because the island was only three miles long and a quarter of a mile wide This place was a tolerable long steep hill or ridge about forty foot high We had a rough time getting to the top the sides was so steep and the bushes so thick We tramped and clumb around all over it and by and by found a good big cavern in the rock most up to the top on the side towards Illinois The cavern was as big as two or three rooms bunched together and Jim could stand up straight in it It was cool in there Jim was for putting our traps in there right away but I said we didn't want to be climbing up and down there all the time Jim said if we had the canoe hid in a good place and had all the traps in the cavern we could rush there if anybody was to come to the island and they would never find us without dogs And besides he said them little birds had said it was going to rain and did I want the things to get wet So we went back and got the canoe and paddled up abreast the cavern and lugged all the traps up there Then we hunted up a place close by to hide the canoe in amongst the thick willows We took some fish off of the lines and set them again and begun to get ready for dinner The door of the cavern was big enough to roll a hogshead in and on one side of the door the floor stuck out a little bit and was flat and a good place to build a fire on So we built it there and cooked dinner We spread the blankets inside for a carpet and eat our dinner in there We put all the other things handy at the back of the cavern Pretty soon it darkened up and begun to thunder and lighten so the birds was right about it Directly it begun to rain and it rained like all fury too and I never see the wind blow so It was one of these regular summer storms It would get so dark that it looked all blue-black outside and lovely and the rain would thrash along by so thick that the trees off a little ways looked dim and spider-webby and here would come a blast of wind that would bend the trees down and turn up the pale underside of the leaves and then a perfect ripper of a gust would follow along and set the branches to tossing their arms as if they was just wild and next when it was just about the bluest and blackest FST it was as bright as glory and you'd have a little glimpse of tree-tops a-plunging about away off yonder in the storm hundreds of yards further than you could see before dark as sin again in a second and now you'd hear the thunder let go with an awful crash and then go rumbling grumbling tumbling down the sky towards the under side of the world like rolling empty barrels down stairs where it's long stairs and they bounce a good deal you know Jim this is nice I says I wouldn't want to be nowhere else but here Pass me along another hunk of fish and some hot corn-bread Well you wouldn't a ben here 'f it hadn't a ben for Jim You'd a ben down dah in de woods widout any dinner en gittn' mos' drownded too dat you would honey Chickens knows when it's gwyne to rain en so do de birds chile The river went on raising and raising for ten or twelve days till at last it was over the banks The water was three or four foot deep on the island in the low places and on the Illinois bottom On that side it was a good many miles wide but on the Missouri side it was the same old distance across a half a mile because the Missouri shore was just a wall of high bluffs Daytimes we paddled all over the island in the canoe It was mighty cool and shady in the deep woods even if the sun was blazing outside We went winding in and out amongst the trees and sometimes the vines hung so thick we had to back away and go some other way Well on every old broken-down tree you could see rabbits and snakes and such things and when the island had been overflowed a day or two they got so tame on account of being hungry that you could paddle right up and put your hand on them if you wanted to but not the snakes and turtles they would slide off in the water The ridge our cavern was in was full of them We could a had pets enough if we'd wanted them One night we catched a little section of a lumber raft nice pine planks It was twelve foot wide and about fifteen or sixteen foot long and the top stood above water six or seven inches a solid level floor We could see saw-logs go by in the daylight sometimes but we let them go we didn't show ourselves in daylight Another night when we was up at the head of the island just before daylight here comes a frame-house down on the west side She was a two-story and tilted over considerable We paddled out and got aboard clumb in at an upstairs window But it was too dark to see yet so we made the canoe fast and set in her to wait for daylight The light begun to come before we got to the foot of the island Then we looked in at the window We could make out a bed and a table and two old chairs and lots of things around about on the floor and there was clothes hanging against the wall There was something laying on the floor in the far corner that looked like a man So Jim says Hello you But it didn't budge So I hollered again and then Jim says De man ain't asleep he's dead You hold still I'll go en see He went and bent down and looked and says It's a dead man Yes indeedy naked too He's ben shot in de back I reck'n he's ben dead two er three days Come in Huck but doan' look at his face it's too gashly I didn't look at him at all Jim throwed some old rags over him but he needn't done it I didn't want to see him There was heaps of old greasy cards scattered around over the floor and old whisky bottles and a couple of masks made out of black cloth and all over the walls was the ignorantest kind of words and pictures made with charcoal There was two old dirty calico dresses and a sun-bonnet and some women's underclothes hanging against the wall and some men's clothing too We put the lot into the canoe it might come good There was a boy's old speckled straw hat on the floor I took that too And there was a bottle that had had milk in it and it had a rag stopper for a baby to suck We would a took the bottle but it was broke There was a seedy old chest and an old hair trunk with the hinges broke They stood open but there warn't nothing left in them that was any account The way things was scattered about we reckoned the people left in a hurry and warn't fixed so as to carry off most of their stuff We got an old tin lantern and a butcher-knife without any handle and a bran-new Barlow knife worth two bits in any store and a lot of tallow candles and a tin candlestick and a gourd and a tin cup and a ratty old bedquilt off the bed and a reticule with needles and pins and beeswax and buttons and thread and all such truck in it and a hatchet and some nails and a fishline as thick as my little finger with some monstrous hooks on it and a roll of buckskin and a leather dog-collar and a horseshoe and some vials of medicine that didn't have no label on them and just as we was leaving I found a tolerable good curry-comb and Jim he found a ratty old fiddle-bow and a wooden leg The straps was broke off of it but barring that it was a good enough leg though it was too long for me and not long enough for Jim and we couldn't find the other one though we hunted all around And so take it all around we made a good haul When we was ready to shove off we was a quarter of a mile below the island and it was pretty broad day so I made Jim lay down in the canoe and cover up with the quilt because if he set up people could tell he was a nigger a good ways off I paddled over to the Illinois shore and drifted down most a half a mile doing it I crept up the dead water under the bank and hadn't no accidents and didn't see nobody We got home all safe CHAPTER X AFTER breakfast I wanted to talk about the dead man and guess out how he come to be killed but Jim didn't want to He said it would fetch bad luck and besides he said he might come and ha'nt us he said a man that warn't buried was more likely to go a-ha'nting around than one that was planted and comfortable That sounded pretty reasonable so I didn't say no more but I couldn't keep from studying over it and wishing I knowed who shot the man and what they done it for We rummaged the clothes we'd got and found eight dollars in silver sewed up in the lining of an old blanket overcoat Jim said he reckoned the people in that house stole the coat because if they'd a knowed the money was there they wouldn't a left it I said I reckoned they killed him too but Jim didn't want to talk about that I says Now you think it's bad luck but what did you say when I fetched in the snake-skin that I found on the top of the ridge day before yesterday You said it was the worst bad luck in the world to touch a snake-skin with my hands Well here's your bad luck We've raked in all this truck and eight dollars besides I wish we could have some bad luck like this every day Jim Never you mind honey never you mind Don't you git too peart It's a-comin' Mind I tell you it's a-comin' It did come too It was a Tuesday that we had that talk Well after dinner Friday we was laying around in the grass at the upper end of the ridge and got out of tobacco I went to the cavern to get some and found a rattlesnake in there I killed him and curled him up on the foot of Jim's blanket ever so natural thinking there'd be some fun when Jim found him there Well by night I forgot all about the snake and when Jim flung himself down on the blanket while I struck a light the snake's mate was there and bit him He jumped up yelling and the first thing the light showed was the varmint curled up and ready for another spring I laid him out in a second with a stick and Jim grabbed pap's whisky-jug and begun to pour it down He was barefooted and the snake bit him right on the heel That all comes of my being such a fool as to not remember that wherever you leave a dead snake its mate always comes there and curls around it Jim told me to chop off the snake's head and throw it away and then skin the body and roast a piece of it I done it and he eat it and said it would help cure him He made me take off the rattles and tie them around his wrist too He said that that would help Then I slid out quiet and throwed the snakes clear away amongst the bushes for I warn't going to let Jim find out it was all my fault not if I could help it Jim sucked and sucked at the jug and now and then he got out of his head and pitched around and yelled but every time he come to himself he went to sucking at the jug again His foot swelled up pretty big and so did his leg but by and by the drunk begun to come and so I judged he was all right but I'd druther been bit with a snake than pap's whisky Jim was laid up for four days and nights Then the swelling was all gone and he was around again I made up my mind I wouldn't ever take a-holt of a snake-skin again with my hands now that I see what had come of it Jim said he reckoned I would believe him next time And he said that handling a snake-skin was such awful bad luck that maybe we hadn't got to the end of it yet He said he druther see the new moon over his left shoulder as much as a thousand times than take up a snake-skin in his hand Well I was getting to feel that way myself though I've always reckoned that looking at the new moon over your left shoulder is one of the carelessest and foolishest things a body can do Old Hank Bunker done it once and bragged about it and in less than two years he got drunk and fell off of the shot-tower and spread himself out so that he was just a kind of a layer as you may say and they slid him edgeways between two barn doors for a coffin and buried him so so they say but I didn't see it Pap told me But anyway it all come of looking at the moon that way like a fool Well the days went along and the river went down between its banks again and about the first thing we done was to bait one of the big hooks with a skinned rabbit and set it and catch a catfish that was as big as a man being six foot two inches long and weighed over two hundred pounds We couldn't handle him of course he would a flung us into Illinois We just set there and watched him rip and tear around till he drownded We found a brass button in his stomach and a round ball and lots of rubbage We split the ball open with the hatchet and there was a spool in it Jim said he'd had it there a long time to coat it over so and make a ball of it It was as big a fish as was ever catched in the Mississippi I reckon Jim said he hadn't ever seen a bigger one He would a been worth a good deal over at the village They peddle out such a fish as that by the pound in the market-house there everybody buys some of him his meat's as white as snow and makes a good fry Next morning I said it was getting slow and dull and I wanted to get a stirring up some way I said I reckoned I would slip over the river and find out what was going on Jim liked that notion but he said I must go in the dark and look sharp Then he studied it over and said couldn't I put on some of them old things and dress up like a girl That was a good notion too So we shortened up one of the calico gowns and I turned up my trouser-legs to my knees and got into it Jim hitched it behind with the hooks and it was a fair fit I put on the sun-bonnet and tied it under my chin and then for a body to look in and see my face was like looking down a joint of stove-pipe Jim said nobody would know me even in the daytime hardly I practiced around all day to get the hang of the things and by and by I could do pretty well in them only Jim said I didn't walk like a girl and he said I must quit pulling up my gown to get at my britches-pocket I took notice and done better I started up the Illinois shore in the canoe just after dark I started across to the town from a little below the ferry-landing and the drift of the current fetched me in at the bottom of the town I tied up and started along the bank There was a light burning in a little shanty that hadn't been lived in for a long time and I wondered who had took up quarters there I slipped up and peeped in at the window There was a woman about forty year old in there knitting by a candle that was on a pine table I didn't know her face she was a stranger for you couldn't start a face in that town that I didn't know Now this was lucky because I was weakening I was getting afraid I had come people might know my voice and find me out But if this woman had been in such a little town two days she could tell me all I wanted to know so I knocked at the door and made up my mind I wouldn't forget I was a girl CHAPTER XI COME in says the woman and I did She says Take a cheer I done it She looked me all over with her little shiny eyes and says What might your name be Sarah Williams Where 'bouts do you live In this neighborhood No'm In Hookerville seven mile below I've walked all the way and I'm all tired out Hungry too I reckon I'll find you something No'm I ain't hungry I was so hungry I had to stop two miles below here at a farm so I ain't hungry no more It's what makes me so late My mother's down sick and out of money and everything and I come to tell my uncle Abner Moore He lives at the upper end of the town she says I hain't ever been here before Do you know him No but I don't know everybody yet I haven't lived here quite two weeks It's a considerable ways to the upper end of the town You better stay here all night Take off your bonnet No I says I'll rest a while I reckon and go on I ain't afeared of the dark She said she wouldn't let me go by myself but her husband would be in by and by maybe in a hour and a half and she'd send him along with me Then she got to talking about her husband and about her relations up the river and her relations down the river and about how much better off they used to was and how they didn't know but they'd made a mistake coming to our town instead of letting well alone and so on and so on till I was afeard I had made a mistake coming to her to find out what was going on in the town but by and by she dropped on to pap and the murder and then I was pretty willing to let her clatter right along She told about me and Tom Sawyer finding the six thousand dollars only she got it ten and all about pap and what a hard lot he was and what a hard lot I was and at last she got down to where I was murdered I says Who done it We've heard considerable about these goings on down in Hookerville but we don't know who 'twas that killed Huck Finn Well I reckon there's a right smart chance of people HERE that'd like to know who killed him Some think old Finn done it himself No is that so Most everybody thought it at first He'll never know how nigh he come to getting lynched But before night they changed around and judged it was done by a runaway nigger named Jim Why HE I stopped I reckoned I better keep still She run on and never noticed I had put in at all The nigger run off the very night Huck Finn was killed So there's a reward out for him three hundred dollars And there's a reward out for old Finn too two hundred dollars You see he come to town the morning after the murder and told about it and was out with 'em on the ferryboat hunt and right away after he up and left Before night they wanted to lynch him but he was gone you see Well next day they found out the nigger was gone they found out he hadn't ben seen sence ten o'clock the night the murder was done So then they put it on him you see and while they was full of it next day back comes old Finn and went boo-hooing to Judge Thatcher to get money to hunt for the nigger all over Illinois with The judge gave him some and that evening he got drunk and was around till after midnight with a couple of mighty hard-looking strangers and then went off with them Well he hain't come back sence and they ain't looking for him back till this thing blows over a little for people thinks now that he killed his boy and fixed things so folks would think robbers done it and then he'd get Huck's money without having to bother a long time with a lawsuit People do say he warn't any too good to do it Oh he's sly I reckon If he don't come back for a year he'll be all right You can't prove anything on him you know everything will be quieted down then and he'll walk in Huck's money as easy as nothing Yes I reckon so 'm I don't see nothing in the way of it Has everybody quit thinking the nigger done it Oh no not everybody A good many thinks he done it But they'll get the nigger pretty soon now and maybe they can scare it out of him Why are they after him yet Well you're innocent ain't you Does three hundred dollars lay around every day for people to pick up Some folks think the nigger ain't far from here I'm one of them but I hain't talked it around A few days ago I was talking with an old couple that lives next door in the log shanty and they happened to say hardly anybody ever goes to that island over yonder that they call Jackson's Island Don't anybody live there says I No nobody says they I didn't say any more but I done some thinking I was pretty near certain I'd seen smoke over there about the head of the island a day or two before that so I says to myself like as not that nigger's hiding over there anyway says I it's worth the trouble to give the place a hunt I hain't seen any smoke sence so I reckon maybe he's gone if it was him but husband's going over to see him and another man He was gone up the river but he got back to-day and I told him as soon as he got here two hours ago I had got so uneasy I couldn't set still I had to do something with my hands so I took up a needle off of the table and went to threading it My hands shook and I was making a bad job of it When the woman stopped talking I looked up and she was looking at me pretty curious and smiling a little I put down the needle and thread and let on to be interested and I was too and says Three hundred dollars is a power of money I wish my mother could get it Is your husband going over there to-night Oh yes He went up-town with the man I was telling you of to get a boat and see if they could borrow another gun They'll go over after midnight Couldn't they see better if they was to wait till daytime Yes And couldn't the nigger see better too After midnight he'll likely be asleep and they can slip around through the woods and hunt up his camp fire all the better for the dark if he's got one I didn't think of that The woman kept looking at me pretty curious and I didn't feel a bit comfortable Pretty soon she says What did you say your name was honey M Mary Williams Somehow it didn't seem to me that I said it was Mary before so I didn't look up seemed to me I said it was Sarah so I felt sort of cornered and was afeared maybe I was looking it too I wished the woman would say something more the longer she set still the uneasier I was But now she says Honey I thought you said it was Sarah when you first come in Oh yes'm I did Sarah Mary Williams Sarah's my first name Some calls me Sarah some calls me Mary Oh that's the way of it Yes'm I was feeling better then but I wished I was out of there anyway I couldn't look up yet Well the woman fell to talking about how hard times was and how poor they had to live and how the rats was as free as if they owned the place and so forth and so on and then I got easy again She was right about the rats You'd see one stick his nose out of a hole in the corner every little while She said she had to have things handy to throw at them when she was alone or they wouldn't give her no peace She showed me a bar of lead twisted up into a knot and said she was a good shot with it generly but she'd wrenched her arm a day or two ago and didn't know whether she could throw true now But she watched for a chance and directly banged away at a rat but she missed him wide and said Ouch it hurt her arm so Then she told me to try for the next one I wanted to be getting away before the old man got back but of course I didn't let on I got the thing and the first rat that showed his nose I let drive and if he'd a stayed where he was he'd a been a tolerable sick rat She said that was first-rate and she reckoned I would hive the next one She went and got the lump of lead and fetched it back and brought along a hank of yarn which she wanted me to help her with I held up my two hands and she put the hank over them and went on talking about her and her husband's matters But she broke off to say Keep your eye on the rats You better have the lead in your lap handy So she dropped the lump into my lap just at that moment and I clapped my legs together on it and she went on talking But only about a minute Then she took off the hank and looked me straight in the face and very pleasant and says Come now what's your real name Wh what mum What's your real name Is it Bill or Tom or Bob or what is it I reckon I shook like a leaf and I didn't know hardly what to do But I says Please to don't poke fun at a poor girl like me mum If I'm in the way here I'll No you won't Set down and stay where you are I ain't going to hurt you and I ain't going to tell on you nuther You just tell me your secret and trust me I'll keep it and what's more I'll help you So'll my old man if you want him to You see you're a runaway 'prentice that's all It ain't anything There ain't no harm in it You've been treated bad and you made up your mind to cut Bless you child I wouldn't tell on you Tell me all about it now that's a good boy So I said it wouldn't be no use to try to play it any longer and I would just make a clean breast and tell her everything but she musn't go back on her promise Then I told her my father and mother was dead and the law had bound me out to a mean old farmer in the country thirty mile back from the river and he treated me so bad I couldn't stand it no longer he went away to be gone a couple of days and so I took my chance and stole some of his daughter's old clothes and cleared out and I had been three nights coming the thirty miles I traveled nights and hid daytimes and slept and the bag of bread and meat I carried from home lasted me all the way and I had a-plenty I said I believed my uncle Abner Moore would take care of me and so that was why I struck out for this town of Goshen Goshen child This ain't Goshen This is St Petersburg Goshen's ten mile further up the river Who told you this was Goshen Why a man I met at daybreak this morning just as I was going to turn into the woods for my regular sleep He told me when the roads forked I must take the right hand and five mile would fetch me to Goshen He was drunk I reckon He told you just exactly wrong Well he did act like he was drunk but it ain't no matter now I got to be moving along I'll fetch Goshen before daylight Hold on a minute I'll put you up a snack to eat You might want it So she put me up a snack and says Say when a cow's laying down which end of her gets up first Answer up prompt now don't stop to study over it Which end gets up first The hind end mum Well then a horse The for'rard end mum Which side of a tree does the moss grow on North side If fifteen cows is browsing on a hillside how many of them eats with their heads pointed the same direction The whole fifteen mum Well I reckon you HAVE lived in the country I thought maybe you was trying to hocus me again What's your real name now George Peters mum Well try to remember it George Don't forget and tell me it's Elexander before you go and then get out by saying it's George Elexander when I catch you And don't go about women in that old calico You do a girl tolerable poor but you might fool men maybe Bless you child when you set out to thread a needle don't hold the thread still and fetch the needle up to it hold the needle still and poke the thread at it that's the way a woman most always does but a man always does t'other way And when you throw at a rat or anything hitch yourself up a tiptoe and fetch your hand up over your head as awkward as you can and miss your rat about six or seven foot Throw stiff-armed from the shoulder like there was a pivot there for it to turn on like a girl not from the wrist and elbow with your arm out to one side like a boy And mind you when a girl tries to catch anything in her lap she throws her knees apart she don't clap them together the way you did when you catched the lump of lead Why I spotted you for a boy when you was threading the needle and I contrived the other things just to make certain Now trot along to your uncle Sarah Mary Williams George Elexander Peters and if you get into trouble you send word to Mrs Judith Loftus which is me and I'll do what I can to get you out of it Keep the river road all the way and next time you tramp take shoes and socks with you The river road's a rocky one and your feet'll be in a condition when you get to Goshen I reckon I went up the bank about fifty yards and then I doubled on my tracks and slipped back to where my canoe was a good piece below the house I jumped in and was off in a hurry I went up-stream far enough to make the head of the island and then started across I took off the sun-bonnet for I didn't want no blinders on then When I was about the middle I heard the clock begin to strike so I stops and listens the sound come faint over the water but clear eleven When I struck the head of the island I never waited to blow though I was most winded but I shoved right into the timber where my old camp used to be and started a good fire there on a high and dry spot Then I jumped in the canoe and dug out for our place a mile and a half below as hard as I could go I landed and slopped through the timber and up the ridge and into the cavern There Jim laid sound asleep on the ground I roused him out and says Git up and hump yourself Jim There ain't a minute to lose They're after us Jim never asked no questions he never said a word but the way he worked for the next half an hour showed about how he was scared By that time everything we had in the world was on our raft and she was ready to be shoved out from the willow cove where she was hid We put out the camp fire at the cavern the first thing and didn't show a candle outside after that I took the canoe out from the shore a little piece and took a look but if there was a boat around I couldn't see it for stars and shadows ain't good to see by Then we got out the raft and slipped along down in the shade past the foot of the island dead still never saying a word CHAPTER XII IT must a been close on to one o'clock when we got below the island at last and the raft did seem to go mighty slow If a boat was to come along we was going to take to the canoe and break for the Illinois shore and it was well a boat didn't come for we hadn't ever thought to put the gun in the canoe or a fishing-line or anything to eat We was in ruther too much of a sweat to think of so many things It warn't good judgment to put EVERYTHING on the raft If the men went to the island I just expect they found the camp fire I built and watched it all night for Jim to come Anyways they stayed away from us and if my building the fire never fooled them it warn't no fault of mine I played it as low down on them as I could When the first streak of day began to show we tied up to a towhead in a big bend on the Illinois side and hacked off cottonwood branches with the hatchet and covered up the raft with them so she looked like there had been a cave-in in the bank there A tow-head is a sandbar that has cottonwoods on it as thick as harrow-teeth We had mountains on the Missouri shore and heavy timber on the Illinois side and the channel was down the Missouri shore at that place so we warn't afraid of anybody running across us We laid there all day and watched the rafts and steamboats spin down the Missouri shore and up-bound steamboats fight the big river in the middle I told Jim all about the time I had jabbering with that woman and Jim said she was a smart one and if she was to start after us herself she wouldn't set down and watch a camp fire no sir she'd fetch a dog Well then I said why couldn't she tell her husband to fetch a dog Jim said he bet she did think of it by the time the men was ready to start and he believed they must a gone up-town to get a dog and so they lost all that time or else we wouldn't be here on a towhead sixteen or seventeen mile below the village no indeedy we would be in that same old town again So I said I didn't care what was the reason they didn't get us as long as they didn't When it was beginning to come on dark we poked our heads out of the cottonwood thicket and looked up and down and across nothing in sight so Jim took up some of the top planks of the raft and built a snug wigwam to get under in blazing weather and rainy and to keep the things dry Jim made a floor for the wigwam and raised it a foot or more above the level of the raft so now the blankets and all the traps was out of reach of steamboat waves Right in the middle of the wigwam we made a layer of dirt about five or six inches deep with a frame around it for to hold it to its place this was to build a fire on in sloppy weather or chilly the wigwam would keep it from being seen We made an extra steering-oar too because one of the others might get broke on a snag or something We fixed up a short forked stick to hang the old lantern on because we must always light the lantern whenever we see a steamboat coming down-stream to keep from getting run over but we wouldn't have to light it for up-stream boats unless we see we was in what they call a crossing for the river was pretty high yet very low banks being still a little under water so up-bound boats didn't always run the channel but hunted easy water This second night we run between seven and eight hours with a current that was making over four mile an hour We catched fish and talked and we took a swim now and then to keep off sleepiness It was kind of solemn drifting down the big still river laying on our backs looking up at the stars and we didn't ever feel like talking loud and it warn't often that we laughed only a little kind of a low chuckle We had mighty good weather as a general thing and nothing ever happened to us at all that night nor the next nor the next Every night we passed towns some of them away up on black hillsides nothing but just a shiny bed of lights not a house could you see The fifth night we passed St Louis and it was like the whole world lit up In St Petersburg they used to say there was twenty or thirty thousand people in St Louis but I never believed it till I see that wonderful spread of lights at two o'clock that still night There warn't a sound there everybody was asleep Every night now I used to slip ashore towards ten o'clock at some little village and buy ten or fifteen cents' worth of meal or bacon or other stuff to eat and sometimes I lifted a chicken that warn't roosting comfortable and took him along Pap always said take a chicken when you get a chance because if you don't want him yourself you can easy find somebody that does and a good deed ain't ever forgot I never see pap when he didn't want the chicken himself but that is what he used to say anyway Mornings before daylight I slipped into cornfields and borrowed a watermelon or a mushmelon or a punkin or some new corn or things of that kind Pap always said it warn't no harm to borrow things if you was meaning to pay them back some time but the widow said it warn't anything but a soft name for stealing and no decent body would do it Jim said he reckoned the widow was partly right and pap was partly right so the best way would be for us to pick out two or three things from the list and say we wouldn't borrow them any more then he reckoned it wouldn't be no harm to borrow the others So we talked it over all one night drifting along down the river trying to make up our minds whether to drop the watermelons or the cantelopes or the mushmelons or what But towards daylight we got it all settled satisfactory and concluded to drop crabapples and p'simmons We warn't feeling just right before that but it was all comfortable now I was glad the way it come out too because crabapples ain't ever good and the p'simmons wouldn't be ripe for two or three months yet We shot a water-fowl now and then that got up too early in the morning or didn't go to bed early enough in the evening Take it all round we lived pretty high The fifth night below St Louis we had a big storm after midnight with a power of thunder and lightning and the rain poured down in a solid sheet We stayed in the wigwam and let the raft take care of itself When the lightning glared out we could see a big straight river ahead and high rocky bluffs on both sides By and by says I Hel-LO Jim looky yonder It was a steamboat that had killed herself on a rock We was drifting straight down for her The lightning showed her very distinct She was leaning over with part of her upper deck above water and you could see every little chimbly-guy clean and clear and a chair by the big bell with an old slouch hat hanging on the back of it when the flashes come Well it being away in the night and stormy and all so mysterious-like I felt just the way any other boy would a felt when I see that wreck laying there so mournful and lonesome in the middle of the river I wanted to get aboard of her and slink around a little and see what there was there So I says Le's land on her Jim But Jim was dead against it at first He says I doan' want to go fool'n 'long er no wrack We's doin' blame' well en we better let blame' well alone as de good book says Like as not dey's a watchman on dat wrack Watchman your grandmother I says there ain't nothing to watch but the texas and the pilot-house and do you reckon anybody's going to resk his life for a texas and a pilot-house such a night as this when it's likely to break up and wash off down the river any minute Jim couldn't say nothing to that so he didn't try And besides I says we might borrow something worth having out of the captain's stateroom Seegars I bet you and cost five cents apiece solid cash Steamboat captains is always rich and get sixty dollars a month and THEY don't care a cent what a thing costs you know long as they want it Stick a candle in your pocket I can't rest Jim till we give her a rummaging Do you reckon Tom Sawyer would ever go by this thing Not for pie he wouldn't He'd call it an adventure that's what he'd call it and he'd land on that wreck if it was his last act And wouldn't he throw style into it wouldn't he spread himself nor nothing Why you'd think it was Christopher C'lumbus discovering Kingdom-Come I wish Tom Sawyer WAS here Jim he grumbled a little but give in He said we mustn't talk any more than we could help and then talk mighty low The lightning showed us the wreck again just in time and we fetched the stabboard derrick and made fast there The deck was high out here We went sneaking down the slope of it to labboard in the dark towards the texas feeling our way slow with our feet and spreading our hands out to fend off the guys for it was so dark we couldn't see no sign of them Pretty soon we struck the forward end of the skylight and clumb on to it and the next step fetched us in front of the captain's door which was open and by Jimminy away down through the texas-hall we see a light and all in the same second we seem to hear low voices in yonder Jim whispered and said he was feeling powerful sick and told me to come along I says all right and was going to start for the raft but just then I heard a voice wail out and say Oh please don't boys I swear I won't ever tell Another voice said pretty loud It's a lie Jim Turner You've acted this way before You always want more'n your share of the truck and you've always got it too because you've swore 't if you didn't you'd tell But this time you've said it jest one time too many You're the meanest treacherousest hound in this country By this time Jim was gone for the raft I was just a-biling with curiosity and I says to myself Tom Sawyer wouldn't back out now and so I won't either I'm a-going to see what's going on here So I dropped on my hands and knees in the little passage and crept aft in the dark till there warn't but one stateroom betwixt me and the cross-hall of the texas Then in there I see a man stretched on the floor and tied hand and foot and two men standing over him and one of them had a dim lantern in his hand and the other one had a pistol This one kept pointing the pistol at the man's head on the floor and saying I'd LIKE to And I orter too a mean skunk The man on the floor would shrivel up and say Oh please don't Bill I hain't ever goin' to tell And every time he said that the man with the lantern would laugh and say 'Deed you AIN'T You never said no truer thing 'n that you bet you And once he said Hear him beg and yit if we hadn't got the best of him and tied him he'd a killed us both And what FOR Jist for noth'n Jist because we stood on our RIGHTS that's what for But I lay you ain't a-goin' to threaten nobody any more Jim Turner Put UP that pistol Bill Bill says I don't want to Jake Packard I'm for killin' him and didn't he kill old Hatfield jist the same way and don't he deserve it But I don't WANT him killed and I've got my reasons for it Bless yo' heart for them words Jake Packard I'll never forgit you long's I live says the man on the floor sort of blubbering Packard didn't take no notice of that but hung up his lantern on a nail and started towards where I was there in the dark and motioned Bill to come I crawfished as fast as I could about two yards but the boat slanted so that I couldn't make very good time so to keep from getting run over and catched I crawled into a stateroom on the upper side The man came a-pawing along in the dark and when Packard got to my stateroom he says Here come in here And in he come and Bill after him But before they got in I was up in the upper berth cornered and sorry I come Then they stood there with their hands on the ledge of the berth and talked I couldn't see them but I could tell where they was by the whisky they'd been having I was glad I didn't drink whisky but it wouldn't made much difference anyway because most of the time they couldn't a treed me because I didn't breathe I was too scared And besides a body COULDN'T breathe and hear such talk They talked low and earnest Bill wanted to kill Turner He says He's said he'll tell and he will If we was to give both our shares to him NOW it wouldn't make no difference after the row and the way we've served him Shore's you're born he'll turn State's evidence now you hear ME I'm for putting him out of his troubles So'm I says Packard very quiet Blame it I'd sorter begun to think you wasn't Well then that's all right Le's go and do it Hold on a minute I hain't had my say yit You listen to me Shooting's good but there's quieter ways if the thing's GOT to be done But what I say is this it ain't good sense to go court'n around after a halter if you can git at what you're up to in some way that's jist as good and at the same time don't bring you into no resks Ain't that so You bet it is But how you goin' to manage it this time Well my idea is this we'll rustle around and gather up whatever pickins we've overlooked in the staterooms and shove for shore and hide the truck Then we'll wait Now I say it ain't a-goin' to be more'n two hours befo' this wrack breaks up and washes off down the river See He'll be drownded and won't have nobody to blame for it but his own self I reckon that's a considerble sight better 'n killin' of him I'm unfavorable to killin' a man as long as you can git aroun' it it ain't good sense it ain't good morals Ain't I right Yes I reck'n you are But s'pose she DON'T break up and wash off Well we can wait the two hours anyway and see can't we All right then come along So they started and I lit out all in a cold sweat and scrambled forward It was dark as pitch there but I said in a kind of a coarse whisper Jim and he answered up right at my elbow with a sort of a moan and I says Quick Jim it ain't no time for fooling around and moaning there's a gang of murderers in yonder and if we don't hunt up their boat and set her drifting down the river so these fellows can't get away from the wreck there's one of 'em going to be in a bad fix But if we find their boat we can put ALL of 'em in a bad fix for the sheriff 'll get 'em Quick hurry I'll hunt the labboard side you hunt the stabboard You start at the raft and Oh my lordy lordy RAF' Dey ain' no raf' no mo' she done broke loose en gone I en here we is CHAPTER XIII WELL I catched my breath and most fainted Shut up on a wreck with such a gang as that But it warn't no time to be sentimentering We'd GOT to find that boat now had to have it for ourselves So we went a-quaking and shaking down the stabboard side and slow work it was too seemed a week before we got to the stern No sign of a boat Jim said he didn't believe he could go any further so scared he hadn't hardly any strength left he said But I said come on if we get left on this wreck we are in a fix sure So on we prowled again We struck for the stern of the texas and found it and then scrabbled along forwards on the skylight hanging on from shutter to shutter for the edge of the skylight was in the water When we got pretty close to the cross-hall door there was the skiff sure enough I could just barely see her I felt ever so thankful In another second I would a been aboard of her but just then the door opened One of the men stuck his head out only about a couple of foot from me and I thought I was gone but he jerked it in again and says Heave that blame lantern out o' sight Bill He flung a bag of something into the boat and then got in himself and set down It was Packard Then Bill HE come out and got in Packard says in a low voice All ready shove off I couldn't hardly hang on to the shutters I was so weak But Bill says Hold on 'd you go through him No Didn't you No So he's got his share o' the cash yet Well then come along no use to take truck and leave money Say won't he suspicion what we're up to Maybe he won't But we got to have it anyway Come along So they got out and went in The door slammed to because it was on the careened side and in a half second I was in the boat and Jim come tumbling after me I out with my knife and cut the rope and away we went We didn't touch an oar and we didn't speak nor whisper nor hardly even breathe We went gliding swift along dead silent past the tip of the paddle-box and past the stern then in a second or two more we was a hundred yards below the wreck and the darkness soaked her up every last sign of her and we was safe and knowed it When we was three or four hundred yards down-stream we see the lantern show like a little spark at the texas door for a second and we knowed by that that the rascals had missed their boat and was beginning to understand that they was in just as much trouble now as Jim Turner was Then Jim manned the oars and we took out after our raft Now was the first time that I begun to worry about the men I reckon I hadn't had time to before I begun to think how dreadful it was even for murderers to be in such a fix I says to myself there ain't no telling but I might come to be a murderer myself yet and then how would I like it So says I to Jim The first light we see we'll land a hundred yards below it or above it in a place where it's a good hiding-place for you and the skiff and then I'll go and fix up some kind of a yarn and get somebody to go for that gang and get them out of their scrape so they can be hung when their time comes But that idea was a failure for pretty soon it begun to storm again and this time worse than ever The rain poured down and never a light showed everybody in bed I reckon We boomed along down the river watching for lights and watching for our raft After a long time the rain let up but the clouds stayed and the lightning kept whimpering and by and by a flash showed us a black thing ahead floating and we made for it It was the raft and mighty glad was we to get aboard of it again We seen a light now away down to the right on shore So I said I would go for it The skiff was half full of plunder which that gang had stole there on the wreck We hustled it on to the raft in a pile and I told Jim to float along down and show a light when he judged he had gone about two mile and keep it burning till I come then I manned my oars and shoved for the light As I got down towards it three or four more showed up on a hillside It was a village I closed in above the shore light and laid on my oars and floated As I went by I see it was a lantern hanging on the jackstaff of a double-hull ferryboat I skimmed around for the watchman a-wondering whereabouts he slept and by and by I found him roosting on the bitts forward with his head down between his knees I gave his shoulder two or three little shoves and begun to cry He stirred up in a kind of a startlish way but when he see it was only me he took a good gap and stretch and then he says Hello what's up Don't cry bub What's the trouble I says Pap and mam and sis and Then I broke down He says Oh dang it now DON'T take on so we all has to have our troubles and this 'n 'll come out all right What's the matter with 'em They're they're are you the watchman of the boat Yes he says kind of pretty-well-satisfied like I'm the captain and the owner and the mate and the pilot and watchman and head deck-hand and sometimes I'm the freight and passengers I ain't as rich as old Jim Hornback and I can't be so blame' generous and good to Tom Dick and Harry as what he is and slam around money the way he does but I've told him a many a time 't I wouldn't trade places with him for says I a sailor's life's the life for me and I'm derned if I'D live two mile out o' town where there ain't nothing ever goin' on not for all his spondulicks and as much more on top of it Says I I broke in and says They're in an awful peck of trouble and WHO is Why pap and mam and sis and Miss Hooker and if you'd take your ferryboat and go up there Up where Where are they On the wreck What wreck Why there ain't but one What you don't mean the Walter Scott Yes Good land what are they doin' THERE for gracious sakes Well they didn't go there a-purpose I bet they didn't Why great goodness there ain't no chance for 'em if they don't git off mighty quick Why how in the nation did they ever git into such a scrape Easy enough Miss Hooker was a-visiting up there to the town Yes Booth's Landing go on She was a-visiting there at Booth's Landing and just in the edge of the evening she started over with her nigger woman in the horse-ferry to stay all night at her friend's house Miss What-you-may-call-her I disremember her name and they lost their steering-oar and swung around and went a-floating down stern first about two mile and saddle-baggsed on the wreck and the ferryman and the nigger woman and the horses was all lost but Miss Hooker she made a grab and got aboard the wreck Well about an hour after dark we come along down in our trading-scow and it was so dark we didn't notice the wreck till we was right on it and so WE saddle-baggsed but all of us was saved but Bill Whipple and oh he WAS the best cretur I most wish 't it had been me I do My George It's the beatenest thing I ever struck And THEN what did you all do Well we hollered and took on but it's so wide there we couldn't make nobody hear So pap said somebody got to get ashore and get help somehow I was the only one that could swim so I made a dash for it and Miss Hooker she said if I didn't strike help sooner come here and hunt up her uncle and he'd fix the thing I made the land about a mile below and been fooling along ever since trying to get people to do something but they said 'What in such a night and such a current There ain't no sense in it go for the steam ferry Now if you'll go and By Jackson I'd LIKE to and blame it I don't know but I will but who in the dingnation's a-going' to PAY for it Do you reckon your pap Why THAT'S all right Miss Hooker she tole me PARTICULAR that her uncle Hornback Great guns is HE her uncle Looky here you break for that light over yonder-way and turn out west when you git there and about a quarter of a mile out you'll come to the tavern tell 'em to dart you out to Jim Hornback's and he'll foot the bill And don't you fool around any because he'll want to know the news Tell him I'll have his niece all safe before he can get to town Hump yourself now I'm a-going up around the corner here to roust out my engineer I struck for the light but as soon as he turned the corner I went back and got into my skiff and bailed her out and then pulled up shore in the easy water about six hundred yards and tucked myself in among some woodboats for I couldn't rest easy till I could see the ferryboat start But take it all around I was feeling ruther comfortable on accounts of taking all this trouble for that gang for not many would a done it I wished the widow knowed about it I judged she would be proud of me for helping these rapscallions because rapscallions and dead beats is the kind the widow and good people takes the most interest in Well before long here comes the wreck dim and dusky sliding along down A kind of cold shiver went through me and then I struck out for her She was very deep and I see in a minute there warn't much chance for anybody being alive in her I pulled all around her and hollered a little but there wasn't any answer all dead still I felt a little bit heavy-hearted about the gang but not much for I reckoned if they could stand it I could Then here comes the ferryboat so I shoved for the middle of the river on a long down-stream slant and when I judged I was out of eye-reach I laid on my oars and looked back and see her go and smell around the wreck for Miss Hooker's remainders because the captain would know her uncle Hornback would want them and then pretty soon the ferryboat give it up and went for the shore and I laid into my work and went a-booming down the river It did seem a powerful long time before Jim's light showed up and when it did show it looked like it was a thousand mile off By the time I got there the sky was beginning to get a little gray in the east so we struck for an island and hid the raft and sunk the skiff and turned in and slept like dead people CHAPTER XIV BY and by when we got up we turned over the truck the gang had stole off of the wreck and found boots and blankets and clothes and all sorts of other things and a lot of books and a spyglass and three boxes of seegars We hadn't ever been this rich before in neither of our lives The seegars was prime We laid off all the afternoon in the woods talking and me reading the books and having a general good time I told Jim all about what happened inside the wreck and at the ferryboat and I said these kinds of things was adventures but he said he didn't want no more adventures He said that when I went in the texas and he crawled back to get on the raft and found her gone he nearly died because he judged it was all up with HIM anyway it could be fixed for if he didn't get saved he would get drownded and if he did get saved whoever saved him would send him back home so as to get the reward and then Miss Watson would sell him South sure Well he was right he was most always right he had an uncommon level head for a nigger I read considerable to Jim about kings and dukes and earls and such and how gaudy they dressed and how much style they put on and called each other your majesty and your grace and your lordship and so on 'stead of mister and Jim's eyes bugged out and he was interested He says I didn' know dey was so many un um I hain't hearn 'bout none un um skasely but ole King Sollermun onless you counts dem kings dat's in a pack er k'yards How much do a king git Get I says why they get a thousand dollars a month if they want it they can have just as much as they want everything belongs to them AIN' dat gay En what dey got to do Huck THEY don't do nothing Why how you talk They just set around No is dat so Of course it is They just set around except maybe when there's a war then they go to the war But other times they just lazy around or go hawking just hawking and sp Sh d' you hear a noise We skipped out and looked but it warn't nothing but the flutter of a steamboat's wheel away down coming around the point so we come back Yes says I and other times when things is dull they fuss with the parlyment and if everybody don't go just so he whacks their heads off But mostly they hang round the harem Roun' de which Harem What's de harem The place where he keeps his wives Don't you know about the harem Solomon had one he had about a million wives Why yes dat's so I I'd done forgot it A harem's a bo'd'n-house I reck'n Mos' likely dey has rackety times in de nussery En I reck'n de wives quarrels considable en dat 'crease de racket Yit dey say Sollermun de wises' man dat ever live' I doan' take no stock in dat Bekase why would a wise man want to live in de mids' er sich a blim-blammin' all de time No 'deed he wouldn't A wise man 'ud take en buil' a biler-factry en den he could shet DOWN de biler-factry when he want to res' Well but he WAS the wisest man anyway because the widow she told me so her own self I doan k'yer what de widder say he WARN'T no wise man nuther He had some er de dad-fetchedes' ways I ever see Does you know 'bout dat chile dat he 'uz gwyne to chop in two Yes the widow told me all about it WELL den Warn' dat de beatenes' notion in de worl' You jes' take en look at it a minute Dah's de stump dah dat's one er de women heah's you dat's de yuther one I's Sollermun en dish yer dollar bill's de chile Bofe un you claims it What does I do Does I shin aroun' mongs' de neighbors en fine out which un you de bill DO b'long to en han' it over to de right one all safe en soun' de way dat anybody dat had any gumption would No I take en whack de bill in TWO en give half un it to you en de yuther half to de yuther woman Dat's de way Sollermun was gwyne to do wid de chile Now I want to ast you what's de use er dat half a bill can't buy noth'n wid it En what use is a half a chile I wouldn' give a dern for a million un um But hang it Jim you've clean missed the point blame it you've missed it a thousand mile Who Me Go 'long Doan' talk to me 'bout yo' pints I reck'n I knows sense when I sees it en dey ain' no sense in sich doin's as dat De 'spute warn't 'bout a half a chile de 'spute was 'bout a whole chile en de man dat think he kin settle a 'spute 'bout a whole chile wid a half a chile doan' know enough to come in out'n de rain Doan' talk to me 'bout Sollermun Huck I knows him by de back But I tell you you don't get the point Blame de point I reck'n I knows what I knows En mine you de REAL pint is down furder it's down deeper It lays in de way Sollermun was raised You take a man dat's got on'y one or two chillen is dat man gwyne to be waseful o' chillen No he ain't he can't 'ford it HE know how to value 'em But you take a man dat's got 'bout five million chillen runnin' roun' de house en it's diffunt HE as soon chop a chile in two as a cat Dey's plenty mo' A chile er two mo' er less warn't no consekens to Sollermun dad fatch him I never see such a nigger If he got a notion in his head once there warn't no getting it out again He was the most down on Solomon of any nigger I ever see So I went to talking about other kings and let Solomon slide I told about Louis Sixteenth that got his head cut off in France long time ago and about his little boy the dolphin that would a been a king but they took and shut him up in jail and some say he died there Po' little chap But some says he got out and got away and come to America Dat's good But he'll be pooty lonesome dey ain' no kings here is dey Huck No Den he cain't git no situation What he gwyne to do Well I don't know Some of them gets on the police and some of them learns people how to talk French Why Huck doan' de French people talk de same way we does NO Jim you couldn't understand a word they said not a single word Well now I be ding-busted How do dat come I don't know but it's so I got some of their jabber out of a book S'pose a man was to come to you and say Polly-voo-franzy what would you think I wouldn' think nuff'n I'd take en bust him over de head dat is if he warn't white I wouldn't 'low no nigger to call me dat Shucks it ain't calling you anything It's only saying do you know how to talk French Well den why couldn't he SAY it Why he IS a-saying it That's a Frenchman's WAY of saying it Well it's a blame ridicklous way en I doan' want to hear no mo' 'bout it Dey ain' no sense in it Looky here Jim does a cat talk like we do No a cat don't Well does a cow No a cow don't nuther Does a cat talk like a cow or a cow talk like a cat No dey don't It's natural and right for 'em to talk different from each other ain't it Course And ain't it natural and right for a cat and a cow to talk different from US Why mos' sholy it is Well then why ain't it natural and right for a FRENCHMAN to talk different from us You answer me that Is a cat a man Huck No Well den dey ain't no sense in a cat talkin' like a man Is a cow a man er is a cow a cat No she ain't either of them Well den she ain't got no business to talk like either one er the yuther of 'em Is a Frenchman a man Yes WELL den Dad blame it why doan' he TALK like a man You answer me DAT I see it warn't no use wasting words you can't learn a nigger to argue So I quit CHAPTER XV WE judged that three nights more would fetch us to Cairo at the bottom of Illinois where the Ohio River comes in and that was what we was after We would sell the raft and get on a steamboat and go way up the Ohio amongst the free States and then be out of trouble Well the second night a fog begun to come on and we made for a towhead to tie to for it wouldn't do to try to run in a fog but when I paddled ahead in the canoe with the line to make fast there warn't anything but little saplings to tie to I passed the line around one of them right on the edge of the cut bank but there was a stiff current and the raft come booming down so lively she tore it out by the roots and away she went I see the fog closing down and it made me so sick and scared I couldn't budge for most a half a minute it seemed to me and then there warn't no raft in sight you couldn't see twenty yards I jumped into the canoe and run back to the stern and grabbed the paddle and set her back a stroke But she didn't come I was in such a hurry I hadn't untied her I got up and tried to untie her but I was so excited my hands shook so I couldn't hardly do anything with them As soon as I got started I took out after the raft hot and heavy right down the towhead That was all right as far as it went but the towhead warn't sixty yards long and the minute I flew by the foot of it I shot out into the solid white fog and hadn't no more idea which way I was going than a dead man Thinks I it won't do to paddle first I know I'll run into the bank or a towhead or something I got to set still and float and yet it's mighty fidgety business to have to hold your hands still at such a time I whooped and listened Away down there somewheres I hears a small whoop and up comes my spirits I went tearing after it listening sharp to hear it again The next time it come I see I warn't heading for it but heading away to the right of it And the next time I was heading away to the left of it and not gaining on it much either for I was flying around this way and that and t'other but it was going straight ahead all the time I did wish the fool would think to beat a tin pan and beat it all the time but he never did and it was the still places between the whoops that was making the trouble for me Well I fought along and directly I hears the whoop BEHIND me I was tangled good now That was somebody else's whoop or else I was turned around I throwed the paddle down I heard the whoop again it was behind me yet but in a different place it kept coming and kept changing its place and I kept answering till by and by it was in front of me again and I knowed the current had swung the canoe's head down-stream and I was all right if that was Jim and not some other raftsman hollering I couldn't tell nothing about voices in a fog for nothing don't look natural nor sound natural in a fog The whooping went on and in about a minute I come a-booming down on a cut bank with smoky ghosts of big trees on it and the current throwed me off to the left and shot by amongst a lot of snags that fairly roared the currrent was tearing by them so swift In another second or two it was solid white and still again I set perfectly still then listening to my heart thump and I reckon I didn't draw a breath while it thumped a hundred I just give up then I knowed what the matter was That cut bank was an island and Jim had gone down t'other side of it It warn't no towhead that you could float by in ten minutes It had the big timber of a regular island it might be five or six miles long and more than half a mile wide I kept quiet with my ears cocked about fifteen minutes I reckon I was floating along of course four or five miles an hour but you don't ever think of that No you FEEL like you are laying dead still on the water and if a little glimpse of a snag slips by you don't think to yourself how fast YOU'RE going but you catch your breath and think my how that snag's tearing along If you think it ain't dismal and lonesome out in a fog that way by yourself in the night you try it once you'll see Next for about a half an hour I whoops now and then at last I hears the answer a long ways off and tries to follow it but I couldn't do it and directly I judged I'd got into a nest of towheads for I had little dim glimpses of them on both sides of me sometimes just a narrow channel between and some that I couldn't see I knowed was there because I'd hear the wash of the current against the old dead brush and trash that hung over the banks Well I warn't long loosing the whoops down amongst the towheads and I only tried to chase them a little while anyway because it was worse than chasing a Jack-o'-lantern You never knowed a sound dodge around so and swap places so quick and so much I had to claw away from the bank pretty lively four or five times to keep from knocking the islands out of the river and so I judged the raft must be butting into the bank every now and then or else it would get further ahead and clear out of hearing it was floating a little faster than what I was Well I seemed to be in the open river again by and by but I couldn't hear no sign of a whoop nowheres I reckoned Jim had fetched up on a snag maybe and it was all up with him I was good and tired so I laid down in the canoe and said I wouldn't bother no more I didn't want to go to sleep of course but I was so sleepy I couldn't help it so I thought I would take jest one little cat-nap But I reckon it was more than a cat-nap for when I waked up the stars was shining bright the fog was all gone and I was spinning down a big bend stern first First I didn't know where I was I thought I was dreaming and when things began to come back to me they seemed to come up dim out of last week It was a monstrous big river here with the tallest and the thickest kind of timber on both banks just a solid wall as well as I could see by the stars I looked away down-stream and seen a black speck on the water I took after it but when I got to it it warn't nothing but a couple of sawlogs made fast together Then I see another speck and chased that then another and this time I was right It was the raft When I got to it Jim was setting there with his head down between his knees asleep with his right arm hanging over the steering-oar The other oar was smashed off and the raft was littered up with leaves and branches and dirt So she'd had a rough time I made fast and laid down under Jim's nose on the raft and began to gap and stretch my fists out against Jim and says Hello Jim have I been asleep Why didn't you stir me up Goodness gracious is dat you Huck En you ain' dead you ain' drownded you's back agin It's too good for true honey it's too good for true Lemme look at you chile lemme feel o' you No you ain' dead you's back agin 'live en soun' jis de same ole Huck de same ole Huck thanks to goodness What's the matter with you Jim You been a-drinking Drinkin' Has I ben a-drinkin' Has I had a chance to be a-drinkin' Well then what makes you talk so wild How does I talk wild HOW Why hain't you been talking about my coming back and all that stuff as if I'd been gone away Huck Huck Finn you look me in de eye look me in de eye HAIN'T you ben gone away Gone away Why what in the nation do you mean I hain't been gone anywheres Where would I go to Well looky here boss dey's sumf'n wrong dey is Is I ME or who IS I Is I heah or whah IS I Now dat's what I wants to know Well I think you're here plain enough but I think you're a tangle-headed old fool Jim I is is I Well you answer me dis Didn't you tote out de line in de canoe fer to make fas' to de tow-head No I didn't What tow-head I hain't see no tow-head You hain't seen no towhead Looky here didn't de line pull loose en de raf' go a-hummin' down de river en leave you en de canoe behine in de fog What fog Why de fog de fog dat's been aroun' all night En didn't you whoop en didn't I whoop tell we got mix' up in de islands en one un us got los' en t'other one was jis' as good as los' 'kase he didn' know whah he wuz En didn't I bust up agin a lot er dem islands en have a turrible time en mos' git drownded Now ain' dat so boss ain't it so You answer me dat Well this is too many for me Jim I hain't seen no fog nor no islands nor no troubles nor nothing I been setting here talking with you all night till you went to sleep about ten minutes ago and I reckon I done the same You couldn't a got drunk in that time so of course you've been dreaming Dad fetch it how is I gwyne to dream all dat in ten minutes Well hang it all you did dream it because there didn't any of it happen But Huck it's all jis' as plain to me as It don't make no difference how plain it is there ain't nothing in it I know because I've been here all the time Jim didn't say nothing for about five minutes but set there studying over it Then he says Well den I reck'n I did dream it Huck but dog my cats ef it ain't de powerfullest dream I ever see En I hain't ever had no dream b'fo' dat's tired me like dis one Oh well that's all right because a dream does tire a body like everything sometimes But this one was a staving dream tell me all about it Jim So Jim went to work and told me the whole thing right through just as it happened only he painted it up considerable Then he said he must start in and 'terpret it because it was sent for a warning He said the first towhead stood for a man that would try to do us some good but the current was another man that would get us away from him The whoops was warnings that would come to us every now and then and if we didn't try hard to make out to understand them they'd just take us into bad luck 'stead of keeping us out of it The lot of towheads was troubles we was going to get into with quarrelsome people and all kinds of mean folks but if we minded our business and didn't talk back and aggravate them we would pull through and get out of the fog and into the big clear river which was the free States and wouldn't have no more trouble It had clouded up pretty dark just after I got on to the raft but it was clearing up again now Oh well that's all interpreted well enough as far as it goes Jim I says but what does THESE things stand for It was the leaves and rubbish on the raft and the smashed oar You could see them first-rate now Jim looked at the trash and then looked at me and back at the trash again He had got the dream fixed so strong in his head that he couldn't seem to shake it loose and get the facts back into its place again right away But when he did get the thing straightened around he looked at me steady without ever smiling and says What do dey stan' for I'se gwyne to tell you When I got all wore out wid work en wid de callin' for you en went to sleep my heart wuz mos' broke bekase you wuz los' en I didn' k'yer no' mo' what become er me en de raf' En when I wake up en fine you back agin all safe en soun' de tears come en I could a got down on my knees en kiss yo' foot I's so thankful En all you wuz thinkin' 'bout wuz how you could make a fool uv ole Jim wid a lie Dat truck dah is TRASH en trash is what people is dat puts dirt on de head er dey fren's en makes 'em ashamed Then he got up slow and walked to the wigwam and went in there without saying anything but that But that was enough It made me feel so mean I could almost kissed HIS foot to get him to take it back It was fifteen minutes before I could work myself up to go and humble myself to a nigger but I done it and I warn't ever sorry for it afterwards neither I didn't do him no more mean tricks and I wouldn't done that one if I'd a knowed it would make him feel that way CHAPTER XVI WE slept most all day and started out at night a little ways behind a monstrous long raft that was as long going by as a procession She had four long sweeps at each end so we judged she carried as many as thirty men likely She had five big wigwams aboard wide apart and an open camp fire in the middle and a tall flag-pole at each end There was a power of style about her It AMOUNTED to something being a raftsman on such a craft as that We went drifting down into a big bend and the night clouded up and got hot The river was very wide and was walled with solid timber on both sides you couldn't see a break in it hardly ever or a light We talked about Cairo and wondered whether we would know it when we got to it I said likely we wouldn't because I had heard say there warn't but about a dozen houses there and if they didn't happen to have them lit up how was we going to know we was passing a town Jim said if the two big rivers joined together there that would show But I said maybe we might think we was passing the foot of an island and coming into the same old river again That disturbed Jim and me too So the question was what to do I said paddle ashore the first time a light showed and tell them pap was behind coming along with a trading-scow and was a green hand at the business and wanted to know how far it was to Cairo Jim thought it was a good idea so we took a smoke on it and waited There warn't nothing to do now but to look out sharp for the town and not pass it without seeing it He said he'd be mighty sure to see it because he'd be a free man the minute he seen it but if he missed it he'd be in a slave country again and no more show for freedom Every little while he jumps up and says Dah she is But it warn't It was Jack-o'-lanterns or lightning bugs so he set down again and went to watching same as before Jim said it made him all over trembly and feverish to be so close to freedom Well I can tell you it made me all over trembly and feverish too to hear him because I begun to get it through my head that he WAS most free and who was to blame for it Why ME I couldn't get that out of my conscience no how nor no way It got to troubling me so I couldn't rest I couldn't stay still in one place It hadn't ever come home to me before what this thing was that I was doing But now it did and it stayed with me and scorched me more and more I tried to make out to myself that I warn't to blame because I didn't run Jim off from his rightful owner but it warn't no use conscience up and says every time But you knowed he was running for his freedom and you could a paddled ashore and told somebody That was so I couldn't get around that noway That was where it pinched Conscience says to me What had poor Miss Watson done to you that you could see her nigger go off right under your eyes and never say one single word What did that poor old woman do to you that you could treat her so mean Why she tried to learn you your book she tried to learn you your manners she tried to be good to you every way she knowed how THAT'S what she done I got to feeling so mean and so miserable I most wished I was dead I fidgeted up and down the raft abusing myself to myself and Jim was fidgeting up and down past me We neither of us could keep still Every time he danced around and says Dah's Cairo it went through me like a shot and I thought if it WAS Cairo I reckoned I would die of miserableness Jim talked out loud all the time while I was talking to myself He was saying how the first thing he would do when he got to a free State he would go to saving up money and never spend a single cent and when he got enough he would buy his wife which was owned on a farm close to where Miss Watson lived and then they would both work to buy the two children and if their master wouldn't sell them they'd get an Ab'litionist to go and steal them It most froze me to hear such talk He wouldn't ever dared to talk such talk in his life before Just see what a difference it made in him the minute he judged he was about free It was according to the old saying Give a nigger an inch and he'll take an ell Thinks I this is what comes of my not thinking Here was this nigger which I had as good as helped to run away coming right out flat-footed and saying he would steal his children children that belonged to a man I didn't even know a man that hadn't ever done me no harm I was sorry to hear Jim say that it was such a lowering of him My conscience got to stirring me up hotter than ever until at last I says to it Let up on me it ain't too late yet I'll paddle ashore at the first light and tell I felt easy and happy and light as a feather right off All my troubles was gone I went to looking out sharp for a light and sort of singing to myself By and by one showed Jim sings out We's safe Huck we's safe Jump up and crack yo' heels Dat's de good ole Cairo at las' I jis knows it I says I'll take the canoe and go and see Jim It mightn't be you know He jumped and got the canoe ready and put his old coat in the bottom for me to set on and give me the paddle and as I shoved off he says Pooty soon I'll be a-shout'n' for joy en I'll say it's all on accounts o' Huck I's a free man en I couldn't ever ben free ef it hadn' ben for Huck Huck done it Jim won't ever forgit you Huck you's de bes' fren' Jim's ever had en you's de ONLY fren' ole Jim's got now I was paddling off all in a sweat to tell on him but when he says this it seemed to kind of take the tuck all out of me I went along slow then and I warn't right down certain whether I was glad I started or whether I warn't When I was fifty yards off Jim says Dah you goes de ole true Huck de on'y white genlman dat ever kep' his promise to ole Jim Well I just felt sick But I says I GOT to do it I can't get OUT of it Right then along comes a skiff with two men in it with guns and they stopped and I stopped One of them says What's that yonder A piece of a raft I says Do you belong on it Yes sir Any men on it Only one sir Well there's five niggers run off to-night up yonder above the head of the bend Is your man white or black I didn't answer up prompt I tried to but the words wouldn't come I tried for a second or two to brace up and out with it but I warn't man enough hadn't the spunk of a rabbit I see I was weakening so I just give up trying and up and says He's white I reckon we'll go and see for ourselves I wish you would says I because it's pap that's there and maybe you'd help me tow the raft ashore where the light is He's sick and so is mam and Mary Ann Oh the devil we're in a hurry boy But I s'pose we've got to Come buckle to your paddle and let's get along I buckled to my paddle and they laid to their oars When we had made a stroke or two I says Pap'll be mighty much obleeged to you I can tell you Everybody goes away when I want them to help me tow the raft ashore and I can't do it by myself Well that's infernal mean Odd too Say boy what's the matter with your father It's the a the well it ain't anything much They stopped pulling It warn't but a mighty little ways to the raft now One says Boy that's a lie What IS the matter with your pap Answer up square now and it'll be the better for you I will sir I will honest but don't leave us please It's the the Gentlemen if you'll only pull ahead and let me heave you the headline you won't have to come a-near the raft please do Set her back John set her back says one They backed water Keep away boy keep to looard Confound it I just expect the wind has blowed it to us Your pap's got the small-pox and you know it precious well Why didn't you come out and say so Do you want to spread it all over Well says I a-blubbering I've told everybody before and they just went away and left us Poor devil there's something in that We are right down sorry for you but we well hang it we don't want the small-pox you see Look here I'll tell you what to do Don't you try to land by yourself or you'll smash everything to pieces You float along down about twenty miles and you'll come to a town on the left-hand side of the river It will be long after sun-up then and when you ask for help you tell them your folks are all down with chills and fever Don't be a fool again and let people guess what is the matter Now we're trying to do you a kindness so you just put twenty miles between us that's a good boy It wouldn't do any good to land yonder where the light is it's only a wood-yard Say I reckon your father's poor and I'm bound to say he's in pretty hard luck Here I'll put a twenty-dollar gold piece on this board and you get it when it floats by I feel mighty mean to leave you but my kingdom it won't do to fool with small-pox don't you see Hold on Parker says the other man here's a twenty to put on the board for me Good-bye boy you do as Mr Parker told you and you'll be all right That's so my boy good-bye good-bye If you see any runaway niggers you get help and nab them and you can make some money by it Good-bye sir says I I won't let no runaway niggers get by me if I can help it They went off and I got aboard the raft feeling bad and low because I knowed very well I had done wrong and I see it warn't no use for me to try to learn to do right a body that don't get STARTED right when he's little ain't got no show when the pinch comes there ain't nothing to back him up and keep him to his work and so he gets beat Then I thought a minute and says to myself hold on s'pose you'd a done right and give Jim up would you felt better than what you do now No says I I'd feel bad I'd feel just the same way I do now Well then says I what's the use you learning to do right when it's troublesome to do right and ain't no trouble to do wrong and the wages is just the same I was stuck I couldn't answer that So I reckoned I wouldn't bother no more about it but after this always do whichever come handiest at the time I went into the wigwam Jim warn't there I looked all around he warn't anywhere I says Jim Here I is Huck Is dey out o' sight yit Don't talk loud He was in the river under the stern oar with just his nose out I told him they were out of sight so he come aboard He says I was a-listenin' to all de talk en I slips into de river en was gwyne to shove for sho' if dey come aboard Den I was gwyne to swim to de raf' agin when dey was gone But lawsy how you did fool 'em Huck Dat WUZ de smartes' dodge I tell you chile I'spec it save' ole Jim ole Jim ain't going to forgit you for dat honey Then we talked about the money It was a pretty good raise twenty dollars apiece Jim said we could take deck passage on a steamboat now and the money would last us as far as we wanted to go in the free States He said twenty mile more warn't far for the raft to go but he wished we was already there Towards daybreak we tied up and Jim was mighty particular about hiding the raft good Then he worked all day fixing things in bundles and getting all ready to quit rafting That night about ten we hove in sight of the lights of a town away down in a left-hand bend I went off in the canoe to ask about it Pretty soon I found a man out in the river with a skiff setting a trot-line I ranged up and says Mister is that town Cairo Cairo no You must be a blame' fool What town is it mister If you want to know go and find out If you stay here botherin' around me for about a half a minute longer you'll get something you won't want I paddled to the raft Jim was awful disappointed but I said never mind Cairo would be the next place I reckoned We passed another town before daylight and I was going out again but it was high ground so I didn't go No high ground about Cairo Jim said I had forgot it We laid up for the day on a towhead tolerable close to the left-hand bank I begun to suspicion something So did Jim I says Maybe we went by Cairo in the fog that night He says Doan' le's talk about it Huck Po' niggers can't have no luck I awluz 'spected dat rattlesnake-skin warn't done wid its work I wish I'd never seen that snake-skin Jim I do wish I'd never laid eyes on it It ain't yo' fault Huck you didn' know Don't you blame yo'self 'bout it When it was daylight here was the clear Ohio water inshore sure enough and outside was the old regular Muddy So it was all up with Cairo We talked it all over It wouldn't do to take to the shore we couldn't take the raft up the stream of course There warn't no way but to wait for dark and start back in the canoe and take the chances So we slept all day amongst the cottonwood thicket so as to be fresh for the work and when we went back to the raft about dark the canoe was gone We didn't say a word for a good while There warn't anything to say We both knowed well enough it was some more work of the rattlesnake-skin so what was the use to talk about it It would only look like we was finding fault and that would be bound to fetch more bad luck and keep on fetching it too till we knowed enough to keep still By and by we talked about what we better do and found there warn't no way but just to go along down with the raft till we got a chance to buy a canoe to go back in We warn't going to borrow it when there warn't anybody around the way pap would do for that might set people after us So we shoved out after dark on the raft Anybody that don't believe yet that it's foolishness to handle a snake-skin after all that that snake-skin done for us will believe it now if they read on and see what more it done for us The place to buy canoes is off of rafts laying up at shore But we didn't see no rafts laying up so we went along during three hours and more Well the night got gray and ruther thick which is the next meanest thing to fog You can't tell the shape of the river and you can't see no distance It got to be very late and still and then along comes a steamboat up the river We lit the lantern and judged she would see it Up-stream boats didn't generly come close to us they go out and follow the bars and hunt for easy water under the reefs but nights like this they bull right up the channel against the whole river We could hear her pounding along but we didn't see her good till she was close She aimed right for us Often they do that and try to see how close they can come without touching sometimes the wheel bites off a sweep and then the pilot sticks his head out and laughs and thinks he's mighty smart Well here she comes and we said she was going to try and shave us but she didn't seem to be sheering off a bit She was a big one and she was coming in a hurry too looking like a black cloud with rows of glow-worms around it but all of a sudden she bulged out big and scary with a long row of wide-open furnace doors shining like red-hot teeth and her monstrous bows and guards hanging right over us There was a yell at us and a jingling of bells to stop the engines a powwow of cussing and whistling of steam and as Jim went overboard on one side and I on the other she come smashing straight through the raft I dived and I aimed to find the bottom too for a thirty-foot wheel had got to go over me and I wanted it to have plenty of room I could always stay under water a minute this time I reckon I stayed under a minute and a half Then I bounced for the top in a hurry for I was nearly busting I popped out to my armpits and blowed the water out of my nose and puffed a bit Of course there was a booming current and of course that boat started her engines again ten seconds after she stopped them for they never cared much for raftsmen so now she was churning along up the river out of sight in the thick weather though I could hear her I sung out for Jim about a dozen times but I didn't get any answer so I grabbed a plank that touched me while I was treading water and struck out for shore shoving it ahead of me But I made out to see that the drift of the current was towards the left-hand shore which meant that I was in a crossing so I changed off and went that way It was one of these long slanting two-mile crossings so I was a good long time in getting over I made a safe landing and clumb up the bank I couldn't see but a little ways but I went poking along over rough ground for a quarter of a mile or more and then I run across a big old-fashioned double log-house before I noticed it I was going to rush by and get away but a lot of dogs jumped out and went to howling and barking at me and I knowed better than to move another peg CHAPTER XVII IN about a minute somebody spoke out of a window without putting his head out and says Be done boys Who's there I says It's me Who's me George Jackson sir What do you want I don't want nothing sir I only want to go along by but the dogs won't let me What are you prowling around here this time of night for hey I warn't prowling around sir I fell overboard off of the steamboat Oh you did did you Strike a light there somebody What did you say your name was George Jackson sir I'm only a boy Look here if you're telling the truth you needn't be afraid nobody'll hurt you But don't try to budge stand right where you are Rouse out Bob and Tom some of you and fetch the guns George Jackson is there anybody with you No sir nobody I heard the people stirring around in the house now and see a light The man sung out Snatch that light away Betsy you old fool ain't you got any sense Put it on the floor behind the front door Bob if you and Tom are ready take your places All ready Now George Jackson do you know the Shepherdsons No sir I never heard of them Well that may be so and it mayn't Now all ready Step forward George Jackson And mind don't you hurry come mighty slow If there's anybody with you let him keep back if he shows himself he'll be shot Come along now Come slow push the door open yourself just enough to squeeze in d' you hear I didn't hurry I couldn't if I'd a wanted to I took one slow step at a time and there warn't a sound only I thought I could hear my heart The dogs were as still as the humans but they followed a little behind me When I got to the three log doorsteps I heard them unlocking and unbarring and unbolting I put my hand on the door and pushed it a little and a little more till somebody said There that's enough put your head in I done it but I judged they would take it off The candle was on the floor and there they all was looking at me and me at them for about a quarter of a minute Three big men with guns pointed at me which made me wince I tell you the oldest gray and about sixty the other two thirty or more all of them fine and handsome and the sweetest old gray-headed lady and back of her two young women which I couldn't see right well The old gentleman says There I reckon it's all right Come in As soon as I was in the old gentleman he locked the door and barred it and bolted it and told the young men to come in with their guns and they all went in a big parlor that had a new rag carpet on the floor and got together in a corner that was out of the range of the front windows there warn't none on the side They held the candle and took a good look at me and all said Why HE ain't a Shepherdson no there ain't any Shepherdson about him Then the old man said he hoped I wouldn't mind being searched for arms because he didn't mean no harm by it it was only to make sure So he didn't pry into my pockets but only felt outside with his hands and said it was all right He told me to make myself easy and at home and tell all about myself but the old lady says Why bless you Saul the poor thing's as wet as he can be and don't you reckon it may be he's hungry True for you Rachel I forgot So the old lady says Betsy this was a nigger woman you fly around and get him something to eat as quick as you can poor thing and one of you girls go and wake up Buck and tell him oh here he is himself Buck take this little stranger and get the wet clothes off from him and dress him up in some of yours that's dry Buck looked about as old as me thirteen or fourteen or along there though he was a little bigger than me He hadn't on anything but a shirt and he was very frowzy-headed He came in gaping and digging one fist into his eyes and he was dragging a gun along with the other one He says Ain't they no Shepherdsons around They said no 'twas a false alarm Well he says if they'd a ben some I reckon I'd a got one They all laughed and Bob says Why Buck they might have scalped us all you've been so slow in coming Well nobody come after me and it ain't right I'm always kept down I don't get no show Never mind Buck my boy says the old man you'll have show enough all in good time don't you fret about that Go 'long with you now and do as your mother told you When we got up-stairs to his room he got me a coarse shirt and a roundabout and pants of his and I put them on While I was at it he asked me what my name was but before I could tell him he started to tell me about a bluejay and a young rabbit he had catched in the woods day before yesterday and he asked me where Moses was when the candle went out I said I didn't know I hadn't heard about it before no way Well guess he says How'm I going to guess says I when I never heard tell of it before But you can guess can't you It's just as easy WHICH candle I says Why any candle he says I don't know where he was says I where was he Why he was in the DARK That's where he was Well if you knowed where he was what did you ask me for Why blame it it's a riddle don't you see Say how long are you going to stay here You got to stay always We can just have booming times they don't have no school now Do you own a dog I've got a dog and he'll go in the river and bring out chips that you throw in Do you like to comb up Sundays and all that kind of foolishness You bet I don't but ma she makes me Confound these ole britches I reckon I'd better put 'em on but I'd ruther not it's so warm Are you all ready All right Come along old hoss Cold corn-pone cold corn-beef butter and buttermilk that is what they had for me down there and there ain't nothing better that ever I've come across yet Buck and his ma and all of them smoked cob pipes except the nigger woman which was gone and the two young women They all smoked and talked and I eat and talked The young women had quilts around them and their hair down their backs They all asked me questions and I told them how pap and me and all the family was living on a little farm down at the bottom of Arkansaw and my sister Mary Ann run off and got married and never was heard of no more and Bill went to hunt them and he warn't heard of no more and Tom and Mort died and then there warn't nobody but just me and pap left and he was just trimmed down to nothing on account of his troubles so when he died I took what there was left because the farm didn't belong to us and started up the river deck passage and fell overboard and that was how I come to be here So they said I could have a home there as long as I wanted it Then it was most daylight and everybody went to bed and I went to bed with Buck and when I waked up in the morning drat it all I had forgot what my name was So I laid there about an hour trying to think and when Buck waked up I says Can you spell Buck Yes he says I bet you can't spell my name says I I bet you what you dare I can says he All right says I go ahead G-e-o-r-g-e J-a-x-o-n there now he says Well says I you done it but I didn't think you could It ain't no slouch of a name to spell right off without studying I set it down private because somebody might want ME to spell it next and so I wanted to be handy with it and rattle it off like I was used to it It was a mighty nice family and a mighty nice house too I hadn't seen no house out in the country before that was so nice and had so much style It didn't have an iron latch on the front door nor a wooden one with a buckskin string but a brass knob to turn the same as houses in town There warn't no bed in the parlor nor a sign of a bed but heaps of parlors in towns has beds in them There was a big fireplace that was bricked on the bottom and the bricks was kept clean and red by pouring water on them and scrubbing them with another brick sometimes they wash them over with red water-paint that they call Spanish-brown same as they do in town They had big brass dog-irons that could hold up a saw-log There was a clock on the middle of the mantelpiece with a picture of a town painted on the bottom half of the glass front and a round place in the middle of it for the sun and you could see the pendulum swinging behind it It was beautiful to hear that clock tick and sometimes when one of these peddlers had been along and scoured her up and got her in good shape she would start in and strike a hundred and fifty before she got tuckered out They wouldn't took any money for her Well there was a big outlandish parrot on each side of the clock made out of something like chalk and painted up gaudy By one of the parrots was a cat made of crockery and a crockery dog by the other and when you pressed down on them they squeaked but didn't open their mouths nor look different nor interested They squeaked through underneath There was a couple of big wild-turkey-wing fans spread out behind those things On the table in the middle of the room was a kind of a lovely crockery basket that had apples and oranges and peaches and grapes piled up in it which was much redder and yellower and prettier than real ones is but they warn't real because you could see where pieces had got chipped off and showed the white chalk or whatever it was underneath This table had a cover made out of beautiful oilcloth with a red and blue spread-eagle painted on it and a painted border all around It come all the way from Philadelphia they said There was some books too piled up perfectly exact on each corner of the table One was a big family Bible full of pictures One was Pilgrim's Progress about a man that left his family it didn't say why I read considerable in it now and then The statements was interesting but tough Another was Friendship's Offering full of beautiful stuff and poetry but I didn't read the poetry Another was Henry Clay's Speeches and another was Dr Gunn's Family Medicine which told you all about what to do if a body was sick or dead There was a hymn book and a lot of other books And there was nice split-bottom chairs and perfectly sound too not bagged down in the middle and busted like an old basket They had pictures hung on the walls mainly Washingtons and Lafayettes and battles and Highland Marys and one called Signing the Declaration There was some that they called crayons which one of the daughters which was dead made her own self when she was only fifteen years old They was different from any pictures I ever see before blacker mostly than is common One was a woman in a slim black dress belted small under the armpits with bulges like a cabbage in the middle of the sleeves and a large black scoop-shovel bonnet with a black veil and white slim ankles crossed about with black tape and very wee black slippers like a chisel and she was leaning pensive on a tombstone on her right elbow under a weeping willow and her other hand hanging down her side holding a white handkerchief and a reticule and underneath the picture it said Shall I Never See Thee More Alas Another one was a young lady with her hair all combed up straight to the top of her head and knotted there in front of a comb like a chair-back and she was crying into a handkerchief and had a dead bird laying on its back in her other hand with its heels up and underneath the picture it said I Shall Never Hear Thy Sweet Chirrup More Alas There was one where a young lady was at a window looking up at the moon and tears running down her cheeks and she had an open letter in one hand with black sealing wax showing on one edge of it and she was mashing a locket with a chain to it against her mouth and underneath the picture it said And Art Thou Gone Yes Thou Art Gone Alas These was all nice pictures I reckon but I didn't somehow seem to take to them because if ever I was down a little they always give me the fan-tods Everybody was sorry she died because she had laid out a lot more of these pictures to do and a body could see by what she had done what they had lost But I reckoned that with her disposition she was having a better time in the graveyard She was at work on what they said was her greatest picture when she took sick and every day and every night it was her prayer to be allowed to live till she got it done but she never got the chance It was a picture of a young woman in a long white gown standing on the rail of a bridge all ready to jump off with her hair all down her back and looking up to the moon with the tears running down her face and she had two arms folded across her breast and two arms stretched out in front and two more reaching up towards the moon and the idea was to see which pair would look best and then scratch out all the other arms but as I was saying she died before she got her mind made up and now they kept this picture over the head of the bed in her room and every time her birthday come they hung flowers on it Other times it was hid with a little curtain The young woman in the picture had a kind of a nice sweet face but there was so many arms it made her look too spidery seemed to me This young girl kept a scrap-book when she was alive and used to paste obituaries and accidents and cases of patient suffering in it out of the Presbyterian Observer and write poetry after them out of her own head It was very good poetry This is what she wrote about a boy by the name of Stephen Dowling Bots that fell down a well and was drownded ODE TO STEPHEN DOWLING BOTS DEC'D And did young Stephen sicken And did young Stephen die And did the sad hearts thicken And did the mourners cry No such was not the fate of Young Stephen Dowling Bots Though sad hearts round him thickened 'Twas not from sickness' shots No whooping-cough did rack his frame Nor measles drear with spots Not these impaired the sacred name Of Stephen Dowling Bots Despised love struck not with woe That head of curly knots Nor stomach troubles laid him low Young Stephen Dowling Bots O no Then list with tearful eye Whilst I his fate do tell His soul did from this cold world fly By falling down a well They got him out and emptied him Alas it was too late His spirit was gone for to sport aloft In the realms of the good and great If Emmeline Grangerford could make poetry like that before she was fourteen there ain't no telling what she could a done by and by Buck said she could rattle off poetry like nothing She didn't ever have to stop to think He said she would slap down a line and if she couldn't find anything to rhyme with it would just scratch it out and slap down another one and go ahead She warn't particular she could write about anything you choose to give her to write about just so it was sadful Every time a man died or a woman died or a child died she would be on hand with her tribute before he was cold She called them tributes The neighbors said it was the doctor first then Emmeline then the undertaker the undertaker never got in ahead of Emmeline but once and then she hung fire on a rhyme for the dead person's name which was Whistler She warn't ever the same after that she never complained but she kinder pined away and did not live long Poor thing many's the time I made myself go up to the little room that used to be hers and get out her poor old scrap-book and read in it when her pictures had been aggravating me and I had soured on her a little I liked all that family dead ones and all and warn't going to let anything come between us Poor Emmeline made poetry about all the dead people when she was alive and it didn't seem right that there warn't nobody to make some about her now she was gone so I tried to sweat out a verse or two myself but I couldn't seem to make it go somehow They kept Emmeline's room trim and nice and all the things fixed in it just the way she liked to have them when she was alive and nobody ever slept there The old lady took care of the room herself though there was plenty of niggers and she sewed there a good deal and read her Bible there mostly Well as I was saying about the parlor there was beautiful curtains on the windows white with pictures painted on them of castles with vines all down the walls and cattle coming down to drink There was a little old piano too that had tin pans in it I reckon and nothing was ever so lovely as to hear the young ladies sing The Last Link is Broken and play The Battle of Prague on it The walls of all the rooms was plastered and most had carpets on the floors and the whole house was whitewashed on the outside It was a double house and the big open place betwixt them was roofed and floored and sometimes the table was set there in the middle of the day and it was a cool comfortable place Nothing couldn't be better And warn't the cooking good and just bushels of it too CHAPTER XVIII COL GRANGERFORD was a gentleman you see He was a gentleman all over and so was his family He was well born as the saying is and that's worth as much in a man as it is in a horse so the Widow Douglas said and nobody ever denied that she was of the first aristocracy in our town and pap he always said it too though he warn't no more quality than a mudcat himself Col Grangerford was very tall and very slim and had a darkish-paly complexion not a sign of red in it anywheres he was clean shaved every morning all over his thin face and he had the thinnest kind of lips and the thinnest kind of nostrils and a high nose and heavy eyebrows and the blackest kind of eyes sunk so deep back that they seemed like they was looking out of caverns at you as you may say His forehead was high and his hair was black and straight and hung to his shoulders His hands was long and thin and every day of his life he put on a clean shirt and a full suit from head to foot made out of linen so white it hurt your eyes to look at it and on Sundays he wore a blue tail-coat with brass buttons on it He carried a mahogany cane with a silver head to it There warn't no frivolishness about him not a bit and he warn't ever loud He was as kind as he could be you could feel that you know and so you had confidence Sometimes he smiled and it was good to see but when he straightened himself up like a liberty-pole and the lightning begun to flicker out from under his eyebrows you wanted to climb a tree first and find out what the matter was afterwards He didn't ever have to tell anybody to mind their manners everybody was always good-mannered where he was Everybody loved to have him around too he was sunshine most always I mean he made it seem like good weather When he turned into a cloudbank it was awful dark for half a minute and that was enough there wouldn't nothing go wrong again for a week When him and the old lady come down in the morning all the family got up out of their chairs and give them good-day and didn't set down again till they had set down Then Tom and Bob went to the sideboard where the decanter was and mixed a glass of bitters and handed it to him and he held it in his hand and waited till Tom's and Bob's was mixed and then they bowed and said Our duty to you sir and madam and THEY bowed the least bit in the world and said thank you and so they drank all three and Bob and Tom poured a spoonful of water on the sugar and the mite of whisky or apple brandy in the bottom of their tumblers and give it to me and Buck and we drank to the old people too Bob was the oldest and Tom next tall beautiful men with very broad shoulders and brown faces and long black hair and black eyes They dressed in white linen from head to foot like the old gentleman and wore broad Panama hats Then there was Miss Charlotte she was twenty-five and tall and proud and grand but as good as she could be when she warn't stirred up but when she was she had a look that would make you wilt in your tracks like her father She was beautiful So was her sister Miss Sophia but it was a different kind She was gentle and sweet like a dove and she was only twenty Each person had their own nigger to wait on them Buck too My nigger had a monstrous easy time because I warn't used to having anybody do anything for me but Buck's was on the jump most of the time This was all there was of the family now but there used to be more three sons they got killed and Emmeline that died The old gentleman owned a lot of farms and over a hundred niggers Sometimes a stack of people would come there horseback from ten or fifteen mile around and stay five or six days and have such junketings round about and on the river and dances and picnics in the woods daytimes and balls at the house nights These people was mostly kinfolks of the family The men brought their guns with them It was a handsome lot of quality I tell you There was another clan of aristocracy around there five or six families mostly of the name of Shepherdson They was as high-toned and well born and rich and grand as the tribe of Grangerfords The Shepherdsons and Grangerfords used the same steamboat landing which was about two mile above our house so sometimes when I went up there with a lot of our folks I used to see a lot of the Shepherdsons there on their fine horses One day Buck and me was away out in the woods hunting and heard a horse coming We was crossing the road Buck says Quick Jump for the woods We done it and then peeped down the woods through the leaves Pretty soon a splendid young man come galloping down the road setting his horse easy and looking like a soldier He had his gun across his pommel I had seen him before It was young Harney Shepherdson I heard Buck's gun go off at my ear and Harney's hat tumbled off from his head He grabbed his gun and rode straight to the place where we was hid But we didn't wait We started through the woods on a run The woods warn't thick so I looked over my shoulder to dodge the bullet and twice I seen Harney cover Buck with his gun and then he rode away the way he come to get his hat I reckon but I couldn't see We never stopped running till we got home The old gentleman's eyes blazed a minute 'twas pleasure mainly I judged then his face sort of smoothed down and he says kind of gentle I don't like that shooting from behind a bush Why didn't you step into the road my boy The Shepherdsons don't father They always take advantage Miss Charlotte she held her head up like a queen while Buck was telling his tale and her nostrils spread and her eyes snapped The two young men looked dark but never said nothing Miss Sophia she turned pale but the color come back when she found the man warn't hurt Soon as I could get Buck down by the corn-cribs under the trees by ourselves I says Did you want to kill him Buck Well I bet I did What did he do to you Him He never done nothing to me Well then what did you want to kill him for Why nothing only it's on account of the feud What's a feud Why where was you raised Don't you know what a feud is Never heard of it before tell me about it Well says Buck a feud is this way A man has a quarrel with another man and kills him then that other man's brother kills HIM then the other brothers on both sides goes for one another then the COUSINS chip in and by and by everybody's killed off and there ain't no more feud But it's kind of slow and takes a long time Has this one been going on long Buck Well I should RECKON It started thirty year ago or som'ers along there There was trouble 'bout something and then a lawsuit to settle it and the suit went agin one of the men and so he up and shot the man that won the suit which he would naturally do of course Anybody would What was the trouble about Buck land I reckon maybe I don't know Well who done the shooting Was it a Grangerford or a Shepherdson Laws how do I know It was so long ago Don't anybody know Oh yes pa knows I reckon and some of the other old people but they don't know now what the row was about in the first place Has there been many killed Buck Yes right smart chance of funerals But they don't always kill Pa's got a few buckshot in him but he don't mind it 'cuz he don't weigh much anyway Bob's been carved up some with a bowie and Tom's been hurt once or twice Has anybody been killed this year Buck Yes we got one and they got one 'Bout three months ago my cousin Bud fourteen year old was riding through the woods on t'other side of the river and didn't have no weapon with him which was blame' foolishness and in a lonesome place he hears a horse a-coming behind him and sees old Baldy Shepherdson a-linkin' after him with his gun in his hand and his white hair a-flying in the wind and 'stead of jumping off and taking to the brush Bud 'lowed he could out-run him so they had it nip and tuck for five mile or more the old man a-gaining all the time so at last Bud seen it warn't any use so he stopped and faced around so as to have the bullet holes in front you know and the old man he rode up and shot him down But he didn't git much chance to enjoy his luck for inside of a week our folks laid HIM out I reckon that old man was a coward Buck I reckon he WARN'T a coward Not by a blame' sight There ain't a coward amongst them Shepherdsons not a one And there ain't no cowards amongst the Grangerfords either Why that old man kep' up his end in a fight one day for half an hour against three Grangerfords and come out winner They was all a-horseback he lit off of his horse and got behind a little woodpile and kep' his horse before him to stop the bullets but the Grangerfords stayed on their horses and capered around the old man and peppered away at him and he peppered away at them Him and his horse both went home pretty leaky and crippled but the Grangerfords had to be FETCHED home and one of 'em was dead and another died the next day No sir if a body's out hunting for cowards he don't want to fool away any time amongst them Shepherdsons becuz they don't breed any of that KIND Next Sunday we all went to church about three mile everybody a-horseback The men took their guns along so did Buck and kept them between their knees or stood them handy against the wall The Shepherdsons done the same It was pretty ornery preaching all about brotherly love and such-like tiresomeness but everybody said it was a good sermon and they all talked it over going home and had such a powerful lot to say about faith and good works and free grace and preforeordestination and I don't know what all that it did seem to me to be one of the roughest Sundays I had run across yet About an hour after dinner everybody was dozing around some in their chairs and some in their rooms and it got to be pretty dull Buck and a dog was stretched out on the grass in the sun sound asleep I went up to our room and judged I would take a nap myself I found that sweet Miss Sophia standing in her door which was next to ours and she took me in her room and shut the door very soft and asked me if I liked her and I said I did and she asked me if I would do something for her and not tell anybody and I said I would Then she said she'd forgot her Testament and left it in the seat at church between two other books and would I slip out quiet and go there and fetch it to her and not say nothing to nobody I said I would So I slid out and slipped off up the road and there warn't anybody at the church except maybe a hog or two for there warn't any lock on the door and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool If you notice most folks don't go to church only when they've got to but a hog is different Says I to myself something's up it ain't natural for a girl to be in such a sweat about a Testament So I give it a shake and out drops a little piece of paper with HALF-PAST TWO wrote on it with a pencil I ransacked it but couldn't find anything else I couldn't make anything out of that so I put the paper in the book again and when I got home and upstairs there was Miss Sophia in her door waiting for me She pulled me in and shut the door then she looked in the Testament till she found the paper and as soon as she read it she looked glad and before a body could think she grabbed me and give me a squeeze and said I was the best boy in the world and not to tell anybody She was mighty red in the face for a minute and her eyes lighted up and it made her powerful pretty I was a good deal astonished but when I got my breath I asked her what the paper was about and she asked me if I had read it and I said no and she asked me if I could read writing and I told her no only coarse-hand and then she said the paper warn't anything but a book-mark to keep her place and I might go and play now I went off down to the river studying over this thing and pretty soon I noticed that my nigger was following along behind When we was out of sight of the house he looked back and around a second and then comes a-running and says Mars Jawge if you'll come down into de swamp I'll show you a whole stack o' water-moccasins Thinks I that's mighty curious he said that yesterday He oughter know a body don't love water-moccasins enough to go around hunting for them What is he up to anyway So I says All right trot ahead I followed a half a mile then he struck out over the swamp and waded ankle deep as much as another half-mile We come to a little flat piece of land which was dry and very thick with trees and bushes and vines and he says You shove right in dah jist a few steps Mars Jawge dah's whah dey is I's seed 'm befo' I don't k'yer to see 'em no mo' Then he slopped right along and went away and pretty soon the trees hid him I poked into the place a-ways and come to a little open patch as big as a bedroom all hung around with vines and found a man laying there asleep and by jings it was my old Jim I waked him up and I reckoned it was going to be a grand surprise to him to see me again but it warn't He nearly cried he was so glad but he warn't surprised Said he swum along behind me that night and heard me yell every time but dasn't answer because he didn't want nobody to pick HIM up and take him into slavery again Says he I got hurt a little en couldn't swim fas' so I wuz a considable ways behine you towards de las' when you landed I reck'ned I could ketch up wid you on de lan' 'dout havin' to shout at you but when I see dat house I begin to go slow I 'uz off too fur to hear what dey say to you I wuz 'fraid o' de dogs but when it 'uz all quiet agin I knowed you's in de house so I struck out for de woods to wait for day Early in de mawnin' some er de niggers come along gwyne to de fields en dey tuk me en showed me dis place whah de dogs can't track me on accounts o' de water en dey brings me truck to eat every night en tells me how you's a-gitt'n along Why didn't you tell my Jack to fetch me here sooner Jim Well 'twarn't no use to 'sturb you Huck tell we could do sumfn but we's all right now I ben a-buyin' pots en pans en vittles as I got a chanst en a-patchin' up de raf' nights when WHAT raft Jim Our ole raf' You mean to say our old raft warn't smashed all to flinders No she warn't She was tore up a good deal one en' of her was but dey warn't no great harm done on'y our traps was mos' all los' Ef we hadn' dive' so deep en swum so fur under water en de night hadn' ben so dark en we warn't so sk'yerd en ben sich punkin-heads as de sayin' is we'd a seed de raf' But it's jis' as well we didn't 'kase now she's all fixed up agin mos' as good as new en we's got a new lot o' stuff in de place o' what 'uz los' Why how did you get hold of the raft again Jim did you catch her How I gwyne to ketch her en I out in de woods No some er de niggers foun' her ketched on a snag along heah in de ben' en dey hid her in a crick 'mongst de willows en dey wuz so much jawin' 'bout which un 'um she b'long to de mos' dat I come to heah 'bout it pooty soon so I ups en settles de trouble by tellin' 'um she don't b'long to none uv um but to you en me en I ast 'm if dey gwyne to grab a young white genlman's propaty en git a hid'n for it Den I gin 'm ten cents apiece en dey 'uz mighty well satisfied en wisht some mo' raf's 'ud come along en make 'm rich agin Dey's mighty good to me dese niggers is en whatever I wants 'm to do fur me I doan' have to ast 'm twice honey Dat Jack's a good nigger en pooty smart Yes he is He ain't ever told me you was here told me to come and he'd show me a lot of water-moccasins If anything happens HE ain't mixed up in it He can say he never seen us together and it 'll be the truth I don't want to talk much about the next day I reckon I'll cut it pretty short I waked up about dawn and was a-going to turn over and go to sleep again when I noticed how still it was didn't seem to be anybody stirring That warn't usual Next I noticed that Buck was up and gone Well I gets up a-wondering and goes down stairs nobody around everything as still as a mouse Just the same outside Thinks I what does it mean Down by the wood-pile I comes across my Jack and says What's it all about Says he Don't you know Mars Jawge No says I I don't Well den Miss Sophia's run off 'deed she has She run off in de night some time nobody don't know jis' when run off to get married to dat young Harney Shepherdson you know leastways so dey 'spec De fambly foun' it out 'bout half an hour ago maybe a little mo' en' I TELL you dey warn't no time los' Sich another hurryin' up guns en hosses YOU never see De women folks has gone for to stir up de relations en ole Mars Saul en de boys tuck dey guns en rode up de river road for to try to ketch dat young man en kill him 'fo' he kin git acrost de river wid Miss Sophia I reck'n dey's gwyne to be mighty rough times Buck went off 'thout waking me up Well I reck'n he DID Dey warn't gwyne to mix you up in it Mars Buck he loaded up his gun en 'lowed he's gwyne to fetch home a Shepherdson or bust Well dey'll be plenty un 'm dah I reck'n en you bet you he'll fetch one ef he gits a chanst I took up the river road as hard as I could put By and by I begin to hear guns a good ways off When I came in sight of the log store and the woodpile where the steamboats lands I worked along under the trees and brush till I got to a good place and then I clumb up into the forks of a cottonwood that was out of reach and watched There was a wood-rank four foot high a little ways in front of the tree and first I was going to hide behind that but maybe it was luckier I didn't There was four or five men cavorting around on their horses in the open place before the log store cussing and yelling and trying to get at a couple of young chaps that was behind the wood-rank alongside of the steamboat landing but they couldn't come it Every time one of them showed himself on the river side of the woodpile he got shot at The two boys was squatting back to back behind the pile so they could watch both ways By and by the men stopped cavorting around and yelling They started riding towards the store then up gets one of the boys draws a steady bead over the wood-rank and drops one of them out of his saddle All the men jumped off of their horses and grabbed the hurt one and started to carry him to the store and that minute the two boys started on the run They got half way to the tree I was in before the men noticed Then the men see them and jumped on their horses and took out after them They gained on the boys but it didn't do no good the boys had too good a start they got to the woodpile that was in front of my tree and slipped in behind it and so they had the bulge on the men again One of the boys was Buck and the other was a slim young chap about nineteen years old The men ripped around awhile and then rode away As soon as they was out of sight I sung out to Buck and told him He didn't know what to make of my voice coming out of the tree at first He was awful surprised He told me to watch out sharp and let him know when the men come in sight again said they was up to some devilment or other wouldn't be gone long I wished I was out of that tree but I dasn't come down Buck begun to cry and rip and 'lowed that him and his cousin Joe that was the other young chap would make up for this day yet He said his father and his two brothers was killed and two or three of the enemy Said the Shepherdsons laid for them in ambush Buck said his father and brothers ought to waited for their relations the Shepherdsons was too strong for them I asked him what was become of young Harney and Miss Sophia He said they'd got across the river and was safe I was glad of that but the way Buck did take on because he didn't manage to kill Harney that day he shot at him I hain't ever heard anything like it All of a sudden bang bang bang goes three or four guns the men had slipped around through the woods and come in from behind without their horses The boys jumped for the river both of them hurt and as they swum down the current the men run along the bank shooting at them and singing out Kill them kill them It made me so sick I most fell out of the tree I ain't a-going to tell ALL that happened it would make me sick again if I was to do that I wished I hadn't ever come ashore that night to see such things I ain't ever going to get shut of them lots of times I dream about them I stayed in the tree till it begun to get dark afraid to come down Sometimes I heard guns away off in the woods and twice I seen little gangs of men gallop past the log store with guns so I reckoned the trouble was still a-going on I was mighty downhearted so I made up my mind I wouldn't ever go anear that house again because I reckoned I was to blame somehow I judged that that piece of paper meant that Miss Sophia was to meet Harney somewheres at half-past two and run off and I judged I ought to told her father about that paper and the curious way she acted and then maybe he would a locked her up and this awful mess wouldn't ever happened When I got down out of the tree I crept along down the river bank a piece and found the two bodies laying in the edge of the water and tugged at them till I got them ashore then I covered up their faces and got away as quick as I could I cried a little when I was covering up Buck's face for he was mighty good to me It was just dark now I never went near the house but struck through the woods and made for the swamp Jim warn't on his island so I tramped off in a hurry for the crick and crowded through the willows red-hot to jump aboard and get out of that awful country The raft was gone My souls but I was scared I couldn't get my breath for most a minute Then I raised a yell A voice not twenty-five foot from me says Good lan' is dat you honey Doan' make no noise It was Jim's voice nothing ever sounded so good before I run along the bank a piece and got aboard and Jim he grabbed me and hugged me he was so glad to see me He says Laws bless you chile I 'uz right down sho' you's dead agin Jack's been heah he say he reck'n you's ben shot kase you didn' come home no mo' so I's jes' dis minute a startin' de raf' down towards de mouf er de crick so's to be all ready for to shove out en leave soon as Jack comes agin en tells me for certain you IS dead Lawsy I's mighty glad to git you back again honey I says All right that's mighty good they won't find me and they'll think I've been killed and floated down the river there's something up there that 'll help them think so so don't you lose no time Jim but just shove off for the big water as fast as ever you can I never felt easy till the raft was two mile below there and out in the middle of the Mississippi Then we hung up our signal lantern and judged that we was free and safe once more I hadn't had a bite to eat since yesterday so Jim he got out some corn-dodgers and buttermilk and pork and cabbage and greens there ain't nothing in the world so good when it's cooked right and whilst I eat my supper we talked and had a good time I was powerful glad to get away from the feuds and so was Jim to get away from the swamp We said there warn't no home like a raft after all Other places do seem so cramped up and smothery but a raft don't You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft CHAPTER XIX TWO or three days and nights went by I reckon I might say they swum by they slid along so quiet and smooth and lovely Here is the way we put in the time It was a monstrous big river down there sometimes a mile and a half wide we run nights and laid up and hid daytimes soon as night was most gone we stopped navigating and tied up nearly always in the dead water under a towhead and then cut young cottonwoods and willows and hid the raft with them Then we set out the lines Next we slid into the river and had a swim so as to freshen up and cool off then we set down on the sandy bottom where the water was about knee deep and watched the daylight come Not a sound anywheres perfectly still just like the whole world was asleep only sometimes the bullfrogs a-cluttering maybe The first thing to see looking away over the water was a kind of dull line that was the woods on t'other side you couldn't make nothing else out then a pale place in the sky then more paleness spreading around then the river softened up away off and warn't black any more but gray you could see little dark spots drifting along ever so far away trading scows and such things and long black streaks rafts sometimes you could hear a sweep screaking or jumbled up voices it was so still and sounds come so far and by and by you could see a streak on the water which you know by the look of the streak that there's a snag there in a swift current which breaks on it and makes that streak look that way and you see the mist curl up off of the water and the east reddens up and the river and you make out a log-cabin in the edge of the woods away on the bank on t'other side of the river being a woodyard likely and piled by them cheats so you can throw a dog through it anywheres then the nice breeze springs up and comes fanning you from over there so cool and fresh and sweet to smell on account of the woods and the flowers but sometimes not that way because they've left dead fish laying around gars and such and they do get pretty rank and next you've got the full day and everything smiling in the sun and the song-birds just going it A little smoke couldn't be noticed now so we would take some fish off of the lines and cook up a hot breakfast And afterwards we would watch the lonesomeness of the river and kind of lazy along and by and by lazy off to sleep Wake up by and by and look to see what done it and maybe see a steamboat coughing along up-stream so far off towards the other side you couldn't tell nothing about her only whether she was a stern-wheel or side-wheel then for about an hour there wouldn't be nothing to hear nor nothing to see just solid lonesomeness Next you'd see a raft sliding by away off yonder and maybe a galoot on it chopping because they're most always doing it on a raft you'd see the axe flash and come down you don't hear nothing you see that axe go up again and by the time it's above the man's head then you hear the K'CHUNK it had took all that time to come over the water So we would put in the day lazying around listening to the stillness Once there was a thick fog and the rafts and things that went by was beating tin pans so the steamboats wouldn't run over them A scow or a raft went by so close we could hear them talking and cussing and laughing heard them plain but we couldn't see no sign of them it made you feel crawly it was like spirits carrying on that way in the air Jim said he believed it was spirits but I says No spirits wouldn't say 'Dern the dern fog Soon as it was night out we shoved when we got her out to about the middle we let her alone and let her float wherever the current wanted her to then we lit the pipes and dangled our legs in the water and talked about all kinds of things we was always naked day and night whenever the mosquitoes would let us the new clothes Buck's folks made for me was too good to be comfortable and besides I didn't go much on clothes nohow Sometimes we'd have that whole river all to ourselves for the longest time Yonder was the banks and the islands across the water and maybe a spark which was a candle in a cabin window and sometimes on the water you could see a spark or two on a raft or a scow you know and maybe you could hear a fiddle or a song coming over from one of them crafts It's lovely to live on a raft We had the sky up there all speckled with stars and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened Jim he allowed they was made but I allowed they happened I judged it would have took too long to MAKE so many Jim said the moon could a LAID them well that looked kind of reasonable so I didn't say nothing against it because I've seen a frog lay most as many so of course it could be done We used to watch the stars that fell too and see them streak down Jim allowed they'd got spoiled and was hove out of the nest Once or twice of a night we would see a steamboat slipping along in the dark and now and then she would belch a whole world of sparks up out of her chimbleys and they would rain down in the river and look awful pretty then she would turn a corner and her lights would wink out and her powwow shut off and leave the river still again and by and by her waves would get to us a long time after she was gone and joggle the raft a bit and after that you wouldn't hear nothing for you couldn't tell how long except maybe frogs or something After midnight the people on shore went to bed and then for two or three hours the shores was black no more sparks in the cabin windows These sparks was our clock the first one that showed again meant morning was coming so we hunted a place to hide and tie up right away One morning about daybreak I found a canoe and crossed over a chute to the main shore it was only two hundred yards and paddled about a mile up a crick amongst the cypress woods to see if I couldn't get some berries Just as I was passing a place where a kind of a cowpath crossed the crick here comes a couple of men tearing up the path as tight as they could foot it I thought I was a goner for whenever anybody was after anybody I judged it was ME or maybe Jim I was about to dig out from there in a hurry but they was pretty close to me then and sung out and begged me to save their lives said they hadn't been doing nothing and was being chased for it said there was men and dogs a-coming They wanted to jump right in but I says Don't you do it I don't hear the dogs and horses yet you've got time to crowd through the brush and get up the crick a little ways then you take to the water and wade down to me and get in that'll throw the dogs off the scent They done it and soon as they was aboard I lit out for our towhead and in about five or ten minutes we heard the dogs and the men away off shouting We heard them come along towards the crick but couldn't see them they seemed to stop and fool around a while then as we got further and further away all the time we couldn't hardly hear them at all by the time we had left a mile of woods behind us and struck the river everything was quiet and we paddled over to the towhead and hid in the cottonwoods and was safe One of these fellows was about seventy or upwards and had a bald head and very gray whiskers He had an old battered-up slouch hat on and a greasy blue woollen shirt and ragged old blue jeans britches stuffed into his boot-tops and home-knit galluses no he only had one He had an old long-tailed blue jeans coat with slick brass buttons flung over his arm and both of them had big fat ratty-looking carpet-bags The other fellow was about thirty and dressed about as ornery After breakfast we all laid off and talked and the first thing that come out was that these chaps didn't know one another What got you into trouble says the baldhead to t'other chap Well I'd been selling an article to take the tartar off the teeth and it does take it off too and generly the enamel along with it but I stayed about one night longer than I ought to and was just in the act of sliding out when I ran across you on the trail this side of town and you told me they were coming and begged me to help you to get off So I told you I was expecting trouble myself and would scatter out WITH you That's the whole yarn what's yourn Well I'd ben a-running' a little temperance revival thar 'bout a week and was the pet of the women folks big and little for I was makin' it mighty warm for the rummies I TELL you and takin' as much as five or six dollars a night ten cents a head children and niggers free and business a-growin' all the time when somehow or another a little report got around last night that I had a way of puttin' in my time with a private jug on the sly A nigger rousted me out this mornin' and told me the people was getherin' on the quiet with their dogs and horses and they'd be along pretty soon and give me 'bout half an hour's start and then run me down if they could and if they got me they'd tar and feather me and ride me on a rail sure I didn't wait for no breakfast I warn't hungry Old man said the young one I reckon we might double-team it together what do you think I ain't undisposed What's your line mainly Jour printer by trade do a little in patent medicines theater-actor tragedy you know take a turn to mesmerism and phrenology when there's a chance teach singing-geography school for a change sling a lecture sometimes oh I do lots of things most anything that comes handy so it ain't work What's your lay I've done considerble in the doctoring way in my time Layin' on o' hands is my best holt for cancer and paralysis and sich things and I k'n tell a fortune pretty good when I've got somebody along to find out the facts for me Preachin's my line too and workin' camp-meetin's and missionaryin' around Nobody never said anything for a while then the young man hove a sigh and says Alas What 're you alassin' about says the bald-head To think I should have lived to be leading such a life and be degraded down into such company And he begun to wipe the corner of his eye with a rag Dern your skin ain't the company good enough for you says the baldhead pretty pert and uppish Yes it IS good enough for me it's as good as I deserve for who fetched me so low when I was so high I did myself I don't blame YOU gentlemen far from it I don't blame anybody I deserve it all Let the cold world do its worst one thing I know there's a grave somewhere for me The world may go on just as it's always done and take everything from me loved ones property everything but it can't take that Some day I'll lie down in it and forget it all and my poor broken heart will be at rest He went on a-wiping Drot your pore broken heart says the baldhead what are you heaving your pore broken heart at US f'r WE hain't done nothing No I know you haven't I ain't blaming you gentlemen I brought myself down yes I did it myself It's right I should suffer perfectly right I don't make any moan Brought you down from whar Whar was you brought down from Ah you would not believe me the world never believes let it pass 'tis no matter The secret of my birth The secret of your birth Do you mean to say Gentlemen says the young man very solemn I will reveal it to you for I feel I may have confidence in you By rights I am a duke Jim's eyes bugged out when he heard that and I reckon mine did too Then the baldhead says No you can't mean it Yes My great-grandfather eldest son of the Duke of Bridgewater fled to this country about the end of the last century to breathe the pure air of freedom married here and died leaving a son his own father dying about the same time The second son of the late duke seized the titles and estates the infant real duke was ignored I am the lineal descendant of that infant I am the rightful Duke of Bridgewater and here am I forlorn torn from my high estate hunted of men despised by the cold world ragged worn heart-broken and degraded to the companionship of felons on a raft Jim pitied him ever so much and so did I We tried to comfort him but he said it warn't much use he couldn't be much comforted said if we was a mind to acknowledge him that would do him more good than most anything else so we said we would if he would tell us how He said we ought to bow when we spoke to him and say Your Grace or My Lord or Your Lordship and he wouldn't mind it if we called him plain Bridgewater which he said was a title anyway and not a name and one of us ought to wait on him at dinner and do any little thing for him he wanted done Well that was all easy so we done it All through dinner Jim stood around and waited on him and says Will yo' Grace have some o' dis or some o' dat and so on and a body could see it was mighty pleasing to him But the old man got pretty silent by and by didn't have much to say and didn't look pretty comfortable over all that petting that was going on around that duke He seemed to have something on his mind So along in the afternoon he says Looky here Bilgewater he says I'm nation sorry for you but you ain't the only person that's had troubles like that No No you ain't You ain't the only person that's ben snaked down wrongfully out'n a high place Alas No you ain't the only person that's had a secret of his birth And by jings HE begins to cry Hold What do you mean Bilgewater kin I trust you says the old man still sort of sobbing To the bitter death He took the old man by the hand and squeezed it and says That secret of your being speak Bilgewater I am the late Dauphin You bet you Jim and me stared this time Then the duke says You are what Yes my friend it is too true your eyes is lookin' at this very moment on the pore disappeared Dauphin Looy the Seventeen son of Looy the Sixteen and Marry Antonette You At your age No You mean you're the late Charlemagne you must be six or seven hundred years old at the very least Trouble has done it Bilgewater trouble has done it trouble has brung these gray hairs and this premature balditude Yes gentlemen you see before you in blue jeans and misery the wanderin' exiled trampled-on and sufferin' rightful King of France Well he cried and took on so that me and Jim didn't know hardly what to do we was so sorry and so glad and proud we'd got him with us too So we set in like we done before with the duke and tried to comfort HIM But he said it warn't no use nothing but to be dead and done with it all could do him any good though he said it often made him feel easier and better for a while if people treated him according to his rights and got down on one knee to speak to him and always called him Your Majesty and waited on him first at meals and didn't set down in his presence till he asked them So Jim and me set to majestying him and doing this and that and t'other for him and standing up till he told us we might set down This done him heaps of good and so he got cheerful and comfortable But the duke kind of soured on him and didn't look a bit satisfied with the way things was going still the king acted real friendly towards him and said the duke's great-grandfather and all the other Dukes of Bilgewater was a good deal thought of by HIS father and was allowed to come to the palace considerable but the duke stayed huffy a good while till by and by the king says Like as not we got to be together a blamed long time on this h-yer raft Bilgewater and so what's the use o' your bein' sour It 'll only make things oncomfortable It ain't my fault I warn't born a duke it ain't your fault you warn't born a king so what's the use to worry Make the best o' things the way you find 'em says I that's my motto This ain't no bad thing that we've struck here plenty grub and an easy life come give us your hand duke and le's all be friends The duke done it and Jim and me was pretty glad to see it It took away all the uncomfortableness and we felt mighty good over it because it would a been a miserable business to have any unfriendliness on the raft for what you want above all things on a raft is for everybody to be satisfied and feel right and kind towards the others It didn't take me long to make up my mind that these liars warn't no kings nor dukes at all but just low-down humbugs and frauds But I never said nothing never let on kept it to myself it's the best way then you don't have no quarrels and don't get into no trouble If they wanted us to call them kings and dukes I hadn't no objections 'long as it would keep peace in the family and it warn't no use to tell Jim so I didn't tell him If I never learnt nothing else out of pap I learnt that the best way to get along with his kind of people is to let them have their own way CHAPTER XX THEY asked us considerable many questions wanted to know what we covered up the raft that way for and laid by in the daytime instead of running was Jim a runaway nigger Says I Goodness sakes would a runaway nigger run SOUTH No they allowed he wouldn't I had to account for things some way so I says My folks was living in Pike County in Missouri where I was born and they all died off but me and pa and my brother Ike Pa he 'lowed he'd break up and go down and live with Uncle Ben who's got a little one-horse place on the river forty-four mile below Orleans Pa was pretty poor and had some debts so when he'd squared up there warn't nothing left but sixteen dollars and our nigger Jim That warn't enough to take us fourteen hundred mile deck passage nor no other way Well when the river rose pa had a streak of luck one day he ketched this piece of a raft so we reckoned we'd go down to Orleans on it Pa's luck didn't hold out a steamboat run over the forrard corner of the raft one night and we all went overboard and dove under the wheel Jim and me come up all right but pa was drunk and Ike was only four years old so they never come up no more Well for the next day or two we had considerable trouble because people was always coming out in skiffs and trying to take Jim away from me saying they believed he was a runaway nigger We don't run daytimes no more now nights they don't bother us The duke says Leave me alone to cipher out a way so we can run in the daytime if we want to I'll think the thing over I'll invent a plan that'll fix it We'll let it alone for to-day because of course we don't want to go by that town yonder in daylight it mightn't be healthy Towards night it begun to darken up and look like rain the heat lightning was squirting around low down in the sky and the leaves was beginning to shiver it was going to be pretty ugly it was easy to see that So the duke and the king went to overhauling our wigwam to see what the beds was like My bed was a straw tick better than Jim's which was a corn-shuck tick there's always cobs around about in a shuck tick and they poke into you and hurt and when you roll over the dry shucks sound like you was rolling over in a pile of dead leaves it makes such a rustling that you wake up Well the duke allowed he would take my bed but the king allowed he wouldn't He says I should a reckoned the difference in rank would a sejested to you that a corn-shuck bed warn't just fitten for me to sleep on Your Grace 'll take the shuck bed yourself Jim and me was in a sweat again for a minute being afraid there was going to be some more trouble amongst them so we was pretty glad when the duke says 'Tis my fate to be always ground into the mire under the iron heel of oppression Misfortune has broken my once haughty spirit I yield I submit 'tis my fate I am alone in the world let me suffer can bear it We got away as soon as it was good and dark The king told us to stand well out towards the middle of the river and not show a light till we got a long ways below the town We come in sight of the little bunch of lights by and by that was the town you know and slid by about a half a mile out all right When we was three-quarters of a mile below we hoisted up our signal lantern and about ten o'clock it come on to rain and blow and thunder and lighten like everything so the king told us to both stay on watch till the weather got better then him and the duke crawled into the wigwam and turned in for the night It was my watch below till twelve but I wouldn't a turned in anyway if I'd had a bed because a body don't see such a storm as that every day in the week not by a long sight My souls how the wind did scream along And every second or two there'd come a glare that lit up the white-caps for a half a mile around and you'd see the islands looking dusty through the rain and the trees thrashing around in the wind then comes a H-WHACK bum bum bumble-umble-um-bum-bum-bum-bum and the thunder would go rumbling and grumbling away and quit and then RIP comes another flash and another sockdolager The waves most washed me off the raft sometimes but I hadn't any clothes on and didn't mind We didn't have no trouble about snags the lightning was glaring and flittering around so constant that we could see them plenty soon enough to throw her head this way or that and miss them I had the middle watch you know but I was pretty sleepy by that time so Jim he said he would stand the first half of it for me he was always mighty good that way Jim was I crawled into the wigwam but the king and the duke had their legs sprawled around so there warn't no show for me so I laid outside I didn't mind the rain because it was warm and the waves warn't running so high now About two they come up again though and Jim was going to call me but he changed his mind because he reckoned they warn't high enough yet to do any harm but he was mistaken about that for pretty soon all of a sudden along comes a regular ripper and washed me overboard It most killed Jim a-laughing He was the easiest nigger to laugh that ever was anyway I took the watch and Jim he laid down and snored away and by and by the storm let up for good and all and the first cabin-light that showed I rousted him out and we slid the raft into hiding quarters for the day The king got out an old ratty deck of cards after breakfast and him and the duke played seven-up a while five cents a game Then they got tired of it and allowed they would lay out a campaign as they called it The duke went down into his carpet-bag and fetched up a lot of little printed bills and read them out loud One bill said The celebrated Dr Armand de Montalban of Paris would lecture on the Science of Phrenology at such and such a place on the blank day of blank at ten cents admission and furnish charts of character at twenty-five cents apiece The duke said that was HIM In another bill he was the world-renowned Shakespearian tragedian Garrick the Younger of Drury Lane London In other bills he had a lot of other names and done other wonderful things like finding water and gold with a divining-rod dissipating witch spells and so on By and by he says But the histrionic muse is the darling Have you ever trod the boards Royalty No says the king You shall then before you're three days older Fallen Grandeur says the duke The first good town we come to we'll hire a hall and do the sword fight in Richard III and the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet How does that strike you I'm in up to the hub for anything that will pay Bilgewater but you see I don't know nothing about play-actin' and hain't ever seen much of it I was too small when pap used to have 'em at the palace Do you reckon you can learn me Easy All right I'm jist a-freezn' for something fresh anyway Le's commence right away So the duke he told him all about who Romeo was and who Juliet was and said he was used to being Romeo so the king could be Juliet But if Juliet's such a young gal duke my peeled head and my white whiskers is goin' to look oncommon odd on her maybe No don't you worry these country jakes won't ever think of that Besides you know you'll be in costume and that makes all the difference in the world Juliet's in a balcony enjoying the moonlight before she goes to bed and she's got on her night-gown and her ruffled nightcap Here are the costumes for the parts He got out two or three curtain-calico suits which he said was meedyevil armor for Richard III and t'other chap and a long white cotton nightshirt and a ruffled nightcap to match The king was satisfied so the duke got out his book and read the parts over in the most splendid spread-eagle way prancing around and acting at the same time to show how it had got to be done then he give the book to the king and told him to get his part by heart There was a little one-horse town about three mile down the bend and after dinner the duke said he had ciphered out his idea about how to run in daylight without it being dangersome for Jim so he allowed he would go down to the town and fix that thing The king allowed he would go too and see if he couldn't strike something We was out of coffee so Jim said I better go along with them in the canoe and get some When we got there there warn't nobody stirring streets empty and perfectly dead and still like Sunday We found a sick nigger sunning himself in a back yard and he said everybody that warn't too young or too sick or too old was gone to camp-meeting about two mile back in the woods The king got the directions and allowed he'd go and work that camp-meeting for all it was worth and I might go too The duke said what he was after was a printing-office We found it a little bit of a concern up over a carpenter shop carpenters and printers all gone to the meeting and no doors locked It was a dirty littered-up place and had ink marks and handbills with pictures of horses and runaway niggers on them all over the walls The duke shed his coat and said he was all right now So me and the king lit out for the camp-meeting We got there in about a half an hour fairly dripping for it was a most awful hot day There was as much as a thousand people there from twenty mile around The woods was full of teams and wagons hitched everywheres feeding out of the wagon-troughs and stomping to keep off the flies There was sheds made out of poles and roofed over with branches where they had lemonade and gingerbread to sell and piles of watermelons and green corn and such-like truck The preaching was going on under the same kinds of sheds only they was bigger and held crowds of people The benches was made out of outside slabs of logs with holes bored in the round side to drive sticks into for legs They didn't have no backs The preachers had high platforms to stand on at one end of the sheds The women had on sun-bonnets and some had linsey-woolsey frocks some gingham ones and a few of the young ones had on calico Some of the young men was barefooted and some of the children didn't have on any clothes but just a tow-linen shirt Some of the old women was knitting and some of the young folks was courting on the sly The first shed we come to the preacher was lining out a hymn He lined out two lines everybody sung it and it was kind of grand to hear it there was so many of them and they done it in such a rousing way then he lined out two more for them to sing and so on The people woke up more and more and sung louder and louder and towards the end some begun to groan and some begun to shout Then the preacher begun to preach and begun in earnest too and went weaving first to one side of the platform and then the other and then a-leaning down over the front of it with his arms and his body going all the time and shouting his words out with all his might and every now and then he would hold up his Bible and spread it open and kind of pass it around this way and that shouting It's the brazen serpent in the wilderness Look upon it and live And people would shout out Glory A-a-MEN And so he went on and the people groaning and crying and saying amen Oh come to the mourners' bench come black with sin AMEN come sick and sore AMEN come lame and halt and blind AMEN come pore and needy sunk in shame A-A-MEN come all that's worn and soiled and suffering come with a broken spirit come with a contrite heart come in your rags and sin and dirt the waters that cleanse is free the door of heaven stands open oh enter in and be at rest A-A-MEN GLORY GLORY HALLELUJAH And so on You couldn't make out what the preacher said any more on account of the shouting and crying Folks got up everywheres in the crowd and worked their way just by main strength to the mourners' bench with the tears running down their faces and when all the mourners had got up there to the front benches in a crowd they sung and shouted and flung themselves down on the straw just crazy and wild Well the first I knowed the king got a-going and you could hear him over everybody and next he went a-charging up on to the platform and the preacher he begged him to speak to the people and he done it He told them he was a pirate been a pirate for thirty years out in the Indian Ocean and his crew was thinned out considerable last spring in a fight and he was home now to take out some fresh men and thanks to goodness he'd been robbed last night and put ashore off of a steamboat without a cent and he was glad of it it was the blessedest thing that ever happened to him because he was a changed man now and happy for the first time in his life and poor as he was he was going to start right off and work his way back to the Indian Ocean and put in the rest of his life trying to turn the pirates into the true path for he could do it better than anybody else being acquainted with all pirate crews in that ocean and though it would take him a long time to get there without money he would get there anyway and every time he convinced a pirate he would say to him Don't you thank me don't you give me no credit it all belongs to them dear people in Pokeville camp-meeting natural brothers and benefactors of the race and that dear preacher there the truest friend a pirate ever had And then he busted into tears and so did everybody Then somebody sings out Take up a collection for him take up a collection Well a half a dozen made a jump to do it but somebody sings out Let HIM pass the hat around Then everybody said it the preacher too So the king went all through the crowd with his hat swabbing his eyes and blessing the people and praising them and thanking them for being so good to the poor pirates away off there and every little while the prettiest kind of girls with the tears running down their cheeks would up and ask him would he let them kiss him for to remember him by and he always done it and some of them he hugged and kissed as many as five or six times and he was invited to stay a week and everybody wanted him to live in their houses and said they'd think it was an honor but he said as this was the last day of the camp-meeting he couldn't do no good and besides he was in a sweat to get to the Indian Ocean right off and go to work on the pirates When we got back to the raft and he come to count up he found he had collected eighty-seven dollars and seventy-five cents And then he had fetched away a three-gallon jug of whisky too that he found under a wagon when he was starting home through the woods The king said take it all around it laid over any day he'd ever put in in the missionarying line He said it warn't no use talking heathens don't amount to shucks alongside of pirates to work a camp-meeting with The duke was thinking HE'D been doing pretty well till the king come to show up but after that he didn't think so so much He had set up and printed off two little jobs for farmers in that printing-office horse bills and took the money four dollars And he had got in ten dollars' worth of advertisements for the paper which he said he would put in for four dollars if they would pay in advance so they done it The price of the paper was two dollars a year but he took in three subscriptions for half a dollar apiece on condition of them paying him in advance they were going to pay in cordwood and onions as usual but he said he had just bought the concern and knocked down the price as low as he could afford it and was going to run it for cash He set up a little piece of poetry which he made himself out of his own head three verses kind of sweet and saddish the name of it was Yes crush cold world this breaking heart and he left that all set up and ready to print in the paper and didn't charge nothing for it Well he took in nine dollars and a half and said he'd done a pretty square day's work for it Then he showed us another little job he'd printed and hadn't charged for because it was for us It had a picture of a runaway nigger with a bundle on a stick over his shoulder and $200 reward under it The reading was all about Jim and just described him to a dot It said he run away from St Jacques' plantation forty mile below New Orleans last winter and likely went north and whoever would catch him and send him back he could have the reward and expenses Now says the duke after to-night we can run in the daytime if we want to Whenever we see anybody coming we can tie Jim hand and foot with a rope and lay him in the wigwam and show this handbill and say we captured him up the river and were too poor to travel on a steamboat so we got this little raft on credit from our friends and are going down to get the reward Handcuffs and chains would look still better on Jim but it wouldn't go well with the story of us being so poor Too much like jewelry Ropes are the correct thing we must preserve the unities as we say on the boards We all said the duke was pretty smart and there couldn't be no trouble about running daytimes We judged we could make miles enough that night to get out of the reach of the powwow we reckoned the duke's work in the printing office was going to make in that little town then we could boom right along if we wanted to We laid low and kept still and never shoved out till nearly ten o'clock then we slid by pretty wide away from the town and didn't hoist our lantern till we was clear out of sight of it When Jim called me to take the watch at four in the morning he says Huck does you reck'n we gwyne to run acrost any mo' kings on dis trip No I says I reckon not Well says he dat's all right den I doan' mine one er two kings but dat's enough Dis one's powerful drunk en de duke ain' much better I found Jim had been trying to get him to talk French so he could hear what it was like but he said he had been in this country so long and had so much trouble he'd forgot it CHAPTER XXI IT was after sun-up now but we went right on and didn't tie up The king and the duke turned out by and by looking pretty rusty but after they'd jumped overboard and took a swim it chippered them up a good deal After breakfast the king he took a seat on the corner of the raft and pulled off his boots and rolled up his britches and let his legs dangle in the water so as to be comfortable and lit his pipe and went to getting his Romeo and Juliet by heart When he had got it pretty good him and the duke begun to practice it together The duke had to learn him over and over again how to say every speech and he made him sigh and put his hand on his heart and after a while he said he done it pretty well only he says you mustn't bellow out ROMEO that way like a bull you must say it soft and sick and languishy so R-o-o-meo that is the idea for Juliet's a dear sweet mere child of a girl you know and she doesn't bray like a jackass Well next they got out a couple of long swords that the duke made out of oak laths and begun to practice the sword fight the duke called himself Richard III and the way they laid on and pranced around the raft was grand to see But by and by the king tripped and fell overboard and after that they took a rest and had a talk about all kinds of adventures they'd had in other times along the river After dinner the duke says Well Capet we'll want to make this a first-class show you know so I guess we'll add a little more to it We want a little something to answer encores with anyway What's onkores Bilgewater The duke told him and then says I'll answer by doing the Highland fling or the sailor's hornpipe and you well let me see oh I've got it you can do Hamlet's soliloquy Hamlet's which Hamlet's soliloquy you know the most celebrated thing in Shakespeare Ah it's sublime sublime Always fetches the house I haven't got it in the book I've only got one volume but I reckon I can piece it out from memory I'll just walk up and down a minute and see if I can call it back from recollection's vaults So he went to marching up and down thinking and frowning horrible every now and then then he would hoist up his eyebrows next he would squeeze his hand on his forehead and stagger back and kind of moan next he would sigh and next he'd let on to drop a tear It was beautiful to see him By and by he got it He told us to give attention Then he strikes a most noble attitude with one leg shoved forwards and his arms stretched away up and his head tilted back looking up at the sky and then he begins to rip and rave and grit his teeth and after that all through his speech he howled and spread around and swelled up his chest and just knocked the spots out of any acting ever I see before This is the speech I learned it easy enough while he was learning it to the king To be or not to be that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity of so long life For who would fardels bear till Birnam Wood do come to Dunsinane But that the fear of something after death Murders the innocent sleep Great nature's second course And makes us rather sling the arrows of outrageous fortune Than fly to others that we know not of There's the respect must give us pause Wake Duncan with thy knocking I would thou couldst For who would bear the whips and scorns of time The oppressor's wrong the proud man's contumely The law's delay and the quietus which his pangs might take In the dead waste and middle of the night when churchyards yawn In customary suits of solemn black But that the undiscovered country from whose bourne no traveler returns Breathes forth contagion on the world And thus the native hue of resolution like the poor cat i' the adage Is sicklied o'er with care And all the clouds that lowered o'er our housetops With this regard their currents turn awry And lose the name of action 'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished But soft you the fair Ophelia Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws But get thee to a nunnery go Well the old man he liked that speech and he mighty soon got it so he could do it first-rate It seemed like he was just born for it and when he had his hand in and was excited it was perfectly lovely the way he would rip and tear and rair up behind when he was getting it off The first chance we got the duke he had some showbills printed and after that for two or three days as we floated along the raft was a most uncommon lively place for there warn't nothing but sword fighting and rehearsing as the duke called it going on all the time One morning when we was pretty well down the State of Arkansaw we come in sight of a little one-horse town in a big bend so we tied up about three-quarters of a mile above it in the mouth of a crick which was shut in like a tunnel by the cypress trees and all of us but Jim took the canoe and went down there to see if there was any chance in that place for our show We struck it mighty lucky there was going to be a circus there that afternoon and the country people was already beginning to come in in all kinds of old shackly wagons and on horses The circus would leave before night so our show would have a pretty good chance The duke he hired the courthouse and we went around and stuck up our bills They read like this Shaksperean Revival Wonderful Attraction For One Night Only The world renowned tragedians David Garrick the Younger of Drury Lane Theatre London and Edmund Kean the elder of the Royal Haymarket Theatre Whitechapel Pudding Lane Piccadilly London and the Royal Continental Theatres in their sublime Shaksperean Spectacle entitled The Balcony Scene in Romeo and Juliet Romeo Mr Garrick Juliet Mr Kean Assisted by the whole strength of the company New costumes new scenes new appointments Also The thrilling masterly and blood-curdling Broad-sword conflict In Richard III Richard III Mr Garrick Richmond Mr Kean Also by special request Hamlet's Immortal Soliloquy By The Illustrious Kean Done by him 300 consecutive nights in Paris For One Night Only On account of imperative European engagements Admission 25 cents children and servants 10 cents Then we went loafing around town The stores and houses was most all old shackly dried up frame concerns that hadn't ever been painted they was set up three or four foot above ground on stilts so as to be out of reach of the water when the river was over-flowed The houses had little gardens around them but they didn't seem to raise hardly anything in them but jimpson-weeds and sunflowers and ash piles and old curled-up boots and shoes and pieces of bottles and rags and played-out tinware The fences was made of different kinds of boards nailed on at different times and they leaned every which way and had gates that didn't generly have but one hinge a leather one Some of the fences had been white-washed some time or another but the duke said it was in Clumbus' time like enough There was generly hogs in the garden and people driving them out All the stores was along one street They had white domestic awnings in front and the country people hitched their horses to the awning-posts There was empty drygoods boxes under the awnings and loafers roosting on them all day long whittling them with their Barlow knives and chawing tobacco and gaping and yawning and stretching a mighty ornery lot They generly had on yellow straw hats most as wide as an umbrella but didn't wear no coats nor waistcoats they called one another Bill and Buck and Hank and Joe and Andy and talked lazy and drawly and used considerable many cuss words There was as many as one loafer leaning up against every awning-post and he most always had his hands in his britches-pockets except when he fetched them out to lend a chaw of tobacco or scratch What a body was hearing amongst them all the time was Gimme a chaw 'v tobacker Hank Cain't I hain't got but one chaw left Ask Bill Maybe Bill he gives him a chaw maybe he lies and says he ain't got none Some of them kinds of loafers never has a cent in the world nor a chaw of tobacco of their own They get all their chawing by borrowing they say to a fellow I wisht you'd len' me a chaw Jack I jist this minute give Ben Thompson the last chaw I had which is a lie pretty much everytime it don't fool nobody but a stranger but Jack ain't no stranger so he says YOU give him a chaw did you So did your sister's cat's grandmother You pay me back the chaws you've awready borry'd off'n me Lafe Buckner then I'll loan you one or two ton of it and won't charge you no back intrust nuther Well I DID pay you back some of it wunst Yes you did 'bout six chaws You borry'd store tobacker and paid back nigger-head Store tobacco is flat black plug but these fellows mostly chaws the natural leaf twisted When they borrow a chaw they don't generly cut it off with a knife but set the plug in between their teeth and gnaw with their teeth and tug at the plug with their hands till they get it in two then sometimes the one that owns the tobacco looks mournful at it when it's handed back and says sarcastic Here gimme the CHAW and you take the PLUG All the streets and lanes was just mud they warn't nothing else BUT mud mud as black as tar and nigh about a foot deep in some places and two or three inches deep in ALL the places The hogs loafed and grunted around everywheres You'd see a muddy sow and a litter of pigs come lazying along the street and whollop herself right down in the way where folks had to walk around her and she'd stretch out and shut her eyes and wave her ears whilst the pigs was milking her and look as happy as if she was on salary And pretty soon you'd hear a loafer sing out Hi SO boy sick him Tige and away the sow would go squealing most horrible with a dog or two swinging to each ear and three or four dozen more a-coming and then you would see all the loafers get up and watch the thing out of sight and laugh at the fun and look grateful for the noise Then they'd settle back again till there was a dog fight There couldn't anything wake them up all over and make them happy all over like a dog fight unless it might be putting turpentine on a stray dog and setting fire to him or tying a tin pan to his tail and see him run himself to death On the river front some of the houses was sticking out over the bank and they was bowed and bent and about ready to tumble in The people had moved out of them The bank was caved away under one corner of some others and that corner was hanging over People lived in them yet but it was dangersome because sometimes a strip of land as wide as a house caves in at a time Sometimes a belt of land a quarter of a mile deep will start in and cave along and cave along till it all caves into the river in one summer Such a town as that has to be always moving back and back and back because the river's always gnawing at it The nearer it got to noon that day the thicker and thicker was the wagons and horses in the streets and more coming all the time Families fetched their dinners with them from the country and eat them in the wagons There was considerable whisky drinking going on and I seen three fights By and by somebody sings out Here comes old Boggs in from the country for his little old monthly drunk here he comes boys All the loafers looked glad I reckoned they was used to having fun out of Boggs One of them says Wonder who he's a-gwyne to chaw up this time If he'd a-chawed up all the men he's ben a-gwyne to chaw up in the last twenty year he'd have considerable ruputation now Another one says I wisht old Boggs 'd threaten me 'cuz then I'd know I warn't gwyne to die for a thousan' year Boggs comes a-tearing along on his horse whooping and yelling like an Injun and singing out Cler the track thar I'm on the waw-path and the price uv coffins is a-gwyne to raise He was drunk and weaving about in his saddle he was over fifty year old and had a very red face Everybody yelled at him and laughed at him and sassed him and he sassed back and said he'd attend to them and lay them out in their regular turns but he couldn't wait now because he'd come to town to kill old Colonel Sherburn and his motto was Meat first and spoon vittles to top off on He see me and rode up and says Whar'd you come f'm boy You prepared to die Then he rode on I was scared but a man says He don't mean nothing he's always a-carryin' on like that when he's drunk He's the best naturedest old fool in Arkansaw never hurt nobody drunk nor sober Boggs rode up before the biggest store in town and bent his head down so he could see under the curtain of the awning and yells Come out here Sherburn Come out and meet the man you've swindled You're the houn' I'm after and I'm a-gwyne to have you too And so he went on calling Sherburn everything he could lay his tongue to and the whole street packed with people listening and laughing and going on By and by a proud-looking man about fifty-five and he was a heap the best dressed man in that town too steps out of the store and the crowd drops back on each side to let him come He says to Boggs mighty ca'm and slow he says I'm tired of this but I'll endure it till one o'clock Till one o'clock mind no longer If you open your mouth against me only once after that time you can't travel so far but I will find you Then he turns and goes in The crowd looked mighty sober nobody stirred and there warn't no more laughing Boggs rode off blackguarding Sherburn as loud as he could yell all down the street and pretty soon back he comes and stops before the store still keeping it up Some men crowded around him and tried to get him to shut up but he wouldn't they told him it would be one o'clock in about fifteen minutes and so he MUST go home he must go right away But it didn't do no good He cussed away with all his might and throwed his hat down in the mud and rode over it and pretty soon away he went a-raging down the street again with his gray hair a-flying Everybody that could get a chance at him tried their best to coax him off of his horse so they could lock him up and get him sober but it warn't no use up the street he would tear again and give Sherburn another cussing By and by somebody says Go for his daughter quick go for his daughter sometimes he'll listen to her If anybody can persuade him she can So somebody started on a run I walked down street a ways and stopped In about five or ten minutes here comes Boggs again but not on his horse He was a-reeling across the street towards me bare-headed with a friend on both sides of him a-holt of his arms and hurrying him along He was quiet and looked uneasy and he warn't hanging back any but was doing some of the hurrying himself Somebody sings out Boggs I looked over there to see who said it and it was that Colonel Sherburn He was standing perfectly still in the street and had a pistol raised in his right hand not aiming it but holding it out with the barrel tilted up towards the sky The same second I see a young girl coming on the run and two men with her Boggs and the men turned round to see who called him and when they see the pistol the men jumped to one side and the pistol-barrel come down slow and steady to a level both barrels cocked Boggs throws up both of his hands and says O Lord don't shoot Bang goes the first shot and he staggers back clawing at the air bang goes the second one and he tumbles backwards on to the ground heavy and solid with his arms spread out That young girl screamed out and comes rushing and down she throws herself on her father crying and saying Oh he's killed him he's killed him The crowd closed up around them and shouldered and jammed one another with their necks stretched trying to see and people on the inside trying to shove them back and shouting Back back give him air give him air Colonel Sherburn he tossed his pistol on to the ground and turned around on his heels and walked off They took Boggs to a little drug store the crowd pressing around just the same and the whole town following and I rushed and got a good place at the window where I was close to him and could see in They laid him on the floor and put one large Bible under his head and opened another one and spread it on his breast but they tore open his shirt first and I seen where one of the bullets went in He made about a dozen long gasps his breast lifting the Bible up when he drawed in his breath and letting it down again when he breathed it out and after that he laid still he was dead Then they pulled his daughter away from him screaming and crying and took her off She was about sixteen and very sweet and gentle looking but awful pale and scared Well pretty soon the whole town was there squirming and scrouging and pushing and shoving to get at the window and have a look but people that had the places wouldn't give them up and folks behind them was saying all the time Say now you've looked enough you fellows 'tain't right and 'tain't fair for you to stay thar all the time and never give nobody a chance other folks has their rights as well as you There was considerable jawing back so I slid out thinking maybe there was going to be trouble The streets was full and everybody was excited Everybody that seen the shooting was telling how it happened and there was a big crowd packed around each one of these fellows stretching their necks and listening One long lanky man with long hair and a big white fur stovepipe hat on the back of his head and a crooked-handled cane marked out the places on the ground where Boggs stood and where Sherburn stood and the people following him around from one place to t'other and watching everything he done and bobbing their heads to show they understood and stooping a little and resting their hands on their thighs to watch him mark the places on the ground with his cane and then he stood up straight and stiff where Sherburn had stood frowning and having his hat-brim down over his eyes and sung out Boggs and then fetched his cane down slow to a level and says Bang staggered backwards says Bang again and fell down flat on his back The people that had seen the thing said he done it perfect said it was just exactly the way it all happened Then as much as a dozen people got out their bottles and treated him Well by and by somebody said Sherburn ought to be lynched In about a minute everybody was saying it so away they went mad and yelling and snatching down every clothes-line they come to to do the hanging with CHAPTER XXII THEY swarmed up towards Sherburn's house a-whooping and raging like Injuns and everything had to clear the way or get run over and tromped to mush and it was awful to see Children was heeling it ahead of the mob screaming and trying to get out of the way and every window along the road was full of women's heads and there was nigger boys in every tree and bucks and wenches looking over every fence and as soon as the mob would get nearly to them they would break and skaddle back out of reach Lots of the women and girls was crying and taking on scared most to death They swarmed up in front of Sherburn's palings as thick as they could jam together and you couldn't hear yourself think for the noise It was a little twenty-foot yard Some sung out Tear down the fence tear down the fence Then there was a racket of ripping and tearing and smashing and down she goes and the front wall of the crowd begins to roll in like a wave Just then Sherburn steps out on to the roof of his little front porch with a double-barrel gun in his hand and takes his stand perfectly ca'm and deliberate not saying a word The racket stopped and the wave sucked back Sherburn never said a word just stood there looking down The stillness was awful creepy and uncomfortable Sherburn run his eye slow along the crowd and wherever it struck the people tried a little to out-gaze him but they couldn't they dropped their eyes and looked sneaky Then pretty soon Sherburn sort of laughed not the pleasant kind but the kind that makes you feel like when you are eating bread that's got sand in it Then he says slow and scornful The idea of YOU lynching anybody It's amusing The idea of you thinking you had pluck enough to lynch a MAN Because you're brave enough to tar and feather poor friendless cast-out women that come along here did that make you think you had grit enough to lay your hands on a MAN Why a MAN'S safe in the hands of ten thousand of your kind as long as it's daytime and you're not behind him Do I know you I know you clear through was born and raised in the South and I've lived in the North so I know the average all around The average man's a coward In the North he lets anybody walk over him that wants to and goes home and prays for a humble spirit to bear it In the South one man all by himself has stopped a stage full of men in the daytime and robbed the lot Your newspapers call you a brave people so much that you think you are braver than any other people whereas you're just AS brave and no braver Why don't your juries hang murderers Because they're afraid the man's friends will shoot them in the back in the dark and it's just what they WOULD do So they always acquit and then a MAN goes in the night with a hundred masked cowards at his back and lynches the rascal Your mistake is that you didn't bring a man with you that's one mistake and the other is that you didn't come in the dark and fetch your masks You brought PART of a man Buck Harkness there and if you hadn't had him to start you you'd a taken it out in blowing You didn't want to come The average man don't like trouble and danger YOU don't like trouble and danger But if only HALF a man like Buck Harkness there shouts 'Lynch him lynch him you're afraid to back down afraid you'll be found out to be what you are COWARDS and so you raise a yell and hang yourselves on to that half-a-man's coat-tail and come raging up here swearing what big things you're going to do The pitifulest thing out is a mob that's what an army is a mob they don't fight with courage that's born in them but with courage that's borrowed from their mass and from their officers But a mob without any MAN at the head of it is BENEATH pitifulness Now the thing for YOU to do is to droop your tails and go home and crawl in a hole If any real lynching's going to be done it will be done in the dark Southern fashion and when they come they'll bring their masks and fetch a MAN along Now LEAVE and take your half-a-man with you tossing his gun up across his left arm and cocking it when he says this The crowd washed back sudden and then broke all apart and went tearing off every which way and Buck Harkness he heeled it after them looking tolerable cheap I could a stayed if I wanted to but I didn't want to I went to the circus and loafed around the back side till the watchman went by and then dived in under the tent I had my twenty-dollar gold piece and some other money but I reckoned I better save it because there ain't no telling how soon you are going to need it away from home and amongst strangers that way You can't be too careful I ain't opposed to spending money on circuses when there ain't no other way but there ain't no use in WASTING it on them It was a real bully circus It was the splendidest sight that ever was when they all come riding in two and two a gentleman and lady side by side the men just in their drawers and undershirts and no shoes nor stirrups and resting their hands on their thighs easy and comfortable there must a been twenty of them and every lady with a lovely complexion and perfectly beautiful and looking just like a gang of real sure-enough queens and dressed in clothes that cost millions of dollars and just littered with diamonds It was a powerful fine sight I never see anything so lovely And then one by one they got up and stood and went a-weaving around the ring so gentle and wavy and graceful the men looking ever so tall and airy and straight with their heads bobbing and skimming along away up there under the tent-roof and every lady's rose-leafy dress flapping soft and silky around her hips and she looking like the most loveliest parasol And then faster and faster they went all of them dancing first one foot out in the air and then the other the horses leaning more and more and the ringmaster going round and round the center-pole cracking his whip and shouting Hi hi and the clown cracking jokes behind him and by and by all hands dropped the reins and every lady put her knuckles on her hips and every gentleman folded his arms and then how the horses did lean over and hump themselves And so one after the other they all skipped off into the ring and made the sweetest bow I ever see and then scampered out and everybody clapped their hands and went just about wild Well all through the circus they done the most astonishing things and all the time that clown carried on so it most killed the people The ringmaster couldn't ever say a word to him but he was back at him quick as a wink with the funniest things a body ever said and how he ever COULD think of so many of them and so sudden and so pat was what I couldn't noway understand Why I couldn't a thought of them in a year And by and by a drunk man tried to get into the ring said he wanted to ride said he could ride as well as anybody that ever was They argued and tried to keep him out but he wouldn't listen and the whole show come to a standstill Then the people begun to holler at him and make fun of him and that made him mad and he begun to rip and tear so that stirred up the people and a lot of men begun to pile down off of the benches and swarm towards the ring saying Knock him down throw him out and one or two women begun to scream So then the ringmaster he made a little speech and said he hoped there wouldn't be no disturbance and if the man would promise he wouldn't make no more trouble he would let him ride if he thought he could stay on the horse So everybody laughed and said all right and the man got on The minute he was on the horse begun to rip and tear and jump and cavort around with two circus men hanging on to his bridle trying to hold him and the drunk man hanging on to his neck and his heels flying in the air every jump and the whole crowd of people standing up shouting and laughing till tears rolled down And at last sure enough all the circus men could do the horse broke loose and away he went like the very nation round and round the ring with that sot laying down on him and hanging to his neck with first one leg hanging most to the ground on one side and then t'other one on t'other side and the people just crazy It warn't funny to me though I was all of a tremble to see his danger But pretty soon he struggled up astraddle and grabbed the bridle a-reeling this way and that and the next minute he sprung up and dropped the bridle and stood and the horse a-going like a house afire too He just stood up there a-sailing around as easy and comfortable as if he warn't ever drunk in his life and then he begun to pull off his clothes and sling them He shed them so thick they kind of clogged up the air and altogether he shed seventeen suits And then there he was slim and handsome and dressed the gaudiest and prettiest you ever saw and he lit into that horse with his whip and made him fairly hum and finally skipped off and made his bow and danced off to the dressing-room and everybody just a-howling with pleasure and astonishment Then the ringmaster he see how he had been fooled and he WAS the sickest ringmaster you ever see I reckon Why it was one of his own men He had got up that joke all out of his own head and never let on to nobody Well I felt sheepish enough to be took in so but I wouldn't a been in that ringmaster's place not for a thousand dollars I don't know there may be bullier circuses than what that one was but I never struck them yet Anyways it was plenty good enough for ME and wherever I run across it it can have all of MY custom every time Well that night we had OUR show but there warn't only about twelve people there just enough to pay expenses And they laughed all the time and that made the duke mad and everybody left anyway before the show was over but one boy which was asleep So the duke said these Arkansaw lunkheads couldn't come up to Shakespeare what they wanted was low comedy and maybe something ruther worse than low comedy he reckoned He said he could size their style So next morning he got some big sheets of wrapping paper and some black paint and drawed off some handbills and stuck them up all over the village The bills said AT THE COURT HOUSE FOR 3 NIGHTS ONLY The World-Renowned Tragedians DAVID GARRICK THE YOUNGER AND EDMUND KEAN THE ELDER Of the London and Continental Theatres In their Thrilling Tragedy of THE KING'S CAMELEOPARD OR THE ROYAL NONESUCH Admission 50 cents Then at the bottom was the biggest line of all which said LADIES AND CHILDREN NOT ADMITTED There says he if that line don't fetch them I don't know Arkansaw CHAPTER XXIII WELL all day him and the king was hard at it rigging up a stage and a curtain and a row of candles for footlights and that night the house was jam full of men in no time When the place couldn't hold no more the duke he quit tending door and went around the back way and come on to the stage and stood up before the curtain and made a little speech and praised up this tragedy and said it was the most thrillingest one that ever was and so he went on a-bragging about the tragedy and about Edmund Kean the Elder which was to play the main principal part in it and at last when he'd got everybody's expectations up high enough he rolled up the curtain and the next minute the king come a-prancing out on all fours naked and he was painted all over ring-streaked-and- striped all sorts of colors as splendid as a rainbow And but never mind the rest of his outfit it was just wild but it was awful funny The people most killed themselves laughing and when the king got done capering and capered off behind the scenes they roared and clapped and stormed and haw-hawed till he come back and done it over again and after that they made him do it another time Well it would make a cow laugh to see the shines that old idiot cut Then the duke he lets the curtain down and bows to the people and says the great tragedy will be performed only two nights more on accounts of pressing London engagements where the seats is all sold already for it in Drury Lane and then he makes them another bow and says if he has succeeded in pleasing them and instructing them he will be deeply obleeged if they will mention it to their friends and get them to come and see it Twenty people sings out What is it over Is that ALL The duke says yes Then there was a fine time Everybody sings out Sold and rose up mad and was a-going for that stage and them tragedians But a big fine looking man jumps up on a bench and shouts Hold on Just a word gentlemen They stopped to listen We are sold mighty badly sold But we don't want to be the laughing stock of this whole town I reckon and never hear the last of this thing as long as we live NO What we want is to go out of here quiet and talk this show up and sell the REST of the town Then we'll all be in the same boat Ain't that sensible You bet it is the jedge is right everybody sings out All right then not a word about any sell Go along home and advise everybody to come and see the tragedy Next day you couldn't hear nothing around that town but how splendid that show was House was jammed again that night and we sold this crowd the same way When me and the king and the duke got home to the raft we all had a supper and by and by about midnight they made Jim and me back her out and float her down the middle of the river and fetch her in and hide her about two mile below town The third night the house was crammed again and they warn't new-comers this time but people that was at the show the other two nights I stood by the duke at the door and I see that every man that went in had his pockets bulging or something muffled up under his coat and I see it warn't no perfumery neither not by a long sight I smelt sickly eggs by the barrel and rotten cabbages and such things and if I know the signs of a dead cat being around and I bet I do there was sixty-four of them went in I shoved in there for a minute but it was too various for me I couldn't stand it Well when the place couldn't hold no more people the duke he give a fellow a quarter and told him to tend door for him a minute and then he started around for the stage door I after him but the minute we turned the corner and was in the dark he says Walk fast now till you get away from the houses and then shin for the raft like the dickens was after you I done it and he done the same We struck the raft at the same time and in less than two seconds we was gliding down stream all dark and still and edging towards the middle of the river nobody saying a word I reckoned the poor king was in for a gaudy time of it with the audience but nothing of the sort pretty soon he crawls out from under the wigwam and says Well how'd the old thing pan out this time duke He hadn't been up-town at all We never showed a light till we was about ten mile below the village Then we lit up and had a supper and the king and the duke fairly laughed their bones loose over the way they'd served them people The duke says Greenhorns flatheads I knew the first house would keep mum and let the rest of the town get roped in and I knew they'd lay for us the third night and consider it was THEIR turn now Well it IS their turn and I'd give something to know how much they'd take for it I WOULD just like to know how they're putting in their opportunity They can turn it into a picnic if they want to they brought plenty provisions Them rapscallions took in four hundred and sixty-five dollars in that three nights I never see money hauled in by the wagon-load like that before By and by when they was asleep and snoring Jim says Don't it s'prise you de way dem kings carries on Huck No I says it don't Why don't it Huck Well it don't because it's in the breed I reckon they're all alike But Huck dese kings o' ourn is reglar rapscallions dat's jist what dey is dey's reglar rapscallions Well that's what I'm a-saying all kings is mostly rapscallions as fur as I can make out Is dat so You read about them once you'll see Look at Henry the Eight this 'n 's a Sunday-school Superintendent to HIM And look at Charles Second and Louis Fourteen and Louis Fifteen and James Second and Edward Second and Richard Third and forty more besides all them Saxon heptarchies that used to rip around so in old times and raise Cain My you ought to seen old Henry the Eight when he was in bloom He WAS a blossom He used to marry a new wife every day and chop off her head next morning And he would do it just as indifferent as if he was ordering up eggs 'Fetch up Nell Gwynn he says They fetch her up Next morning 'Chop off her head And they chop it off 'Fetch up Jane Shore he says and up she comes Next morning 'Chop off her head' and they chop it off 'Ring up Fair Rosamun Fair Rosamun answers the bell Next morning 'Chop off her head And he made every one of them tell him a tale every night and he kept that up till he had hogged a thousand and one tales that way and then he put them all in a book and called it Domesday Book which was a good name and stated the case You don't know kings Jim but I know them and this old rip of ourn is one of the cleanest I've struck in history Well Henry he takes a notion he wants to get up some trouble with this country How does he go at it give notice give the country a show No All of a sudden he heaves all the tea in Boston Harbor overboard and whacks out a declaration of independence and dares them to come on That was HIS style he never give anybody a chance He had suspicions of his father the Duke of Wellington Well what did he do Ask him to show up No drownded him in a butt of mamsey like a cat S'pose people left money laying around where he was what did he do He collared it S'pose he contracted to do a thing and you paid him and didn't set down there and see that he done it what did he do He always done the other thing S'pose he opened his mouth what then If he didn't shut it up powerful quick he'd lose a lie every time That's the kind of a bug Henry was and if we'd a had him along 'stead of our kings he'd a fooled that town a heap worse than ourn done I don't say that ourn is lambs because they ain't when you come right down to the cold facts but they ain't nothing to THAT old ram anyway All I say is kings is kings and you got to make allowances Take them all around they're a mighty ornery lot It's the way they're raised But dis one do SMELL so like de nation Huck Well they all do Jim We can't help the way a king smells history don't tell no way Now de duke he's a tolerble likely man in some ways Yes a duke's different But not very different This one's a middling hard lot for a duke When he's drunk there ain't no near-sighted man could tell him from a king Well anyways I doan' hanker for no mo' un um Huck Dese is all I kin stan' It's the way I feel too Jim But we've got them on our hands and we got to remember what they are and make allowances Sometimes I wish we could hear of a country that's out of kings What was the use to tell Jim these warn't real kings and dukes It wouldn't a done no good and besides it was just as I said you couldn't tell them from the real kind I went to sleep and Jim didn't call me when it was my turn He often done that When I waked up just at daybreak he was sitting there with his head down betwixt his knees moaning and mourning to himself I didn't take notice nor let on I knowed what it was about He was thinking about his wife and his children away up yonder and he was low and homesick because he hadn't ever been away from home before in his life and I do believe he cared just as much for his people as white folks does for their'n It don't seem natural but I reckon it's so He was often moaning and mourning that way nights when he judged I was asleep and saying Po' little 'Lizabeth po' little Johnny it's mighty hard I spec' I ain't ever gwyne to see you no mo' no mo' He was a mighty good nigger Jim was But this time I somehow got to talking to him about his wife and young ones and by and by he says What makes me feel so bad dis time 'uz bekase I hear sumpn over yonder on de bank like a whack er a slam while ago en it mine me er de time I treat my little 'Lizabeth so ornery She warn't on'y 'bout fo' year ole en she tuck de sk'yarlet fever en had a powful rough spell but she got well en one day she was a-stannin' aroun' en I says to her I says 'Shet de do' She never done it jis' stood dah kiner smilin' up at me It make me mad en I says agin mighty loud I says 'Doan' you hear me Shet de do' She jis stood de same way kiner smilin' up I was a-bilin' I says 'I lay I MAKE you mine En wid dat I fetch' her a slap side de head dat sont her a-sprawlin' Den I went into de yuther room en 'uz gone 'bout ten minutes en when I come back dah was dat do' a-stannin' open YIT en dat chile stannin' mos' right in it a-lookin' down and mournin' en de tears runnin' down My but I WUZ mad I was a-gwyne for de chile but jis' den it was a do' dat open innerds jis' den 'long come de wind en slam it to behine de chile ker-BLAM en my lan' de chile never move' My breff mos' hop outer me en I feel so so I doan' know HOW I feel I crope out all a-tremblin' en crope aroun' en open de do' easy en slow en poke my head in behine de chile sof' en still en all uv a sudden I says POW jis' as loud as I could yell SHE NEVER BUDGE Oh Huck I bust out a-cryin' en grab her up in my arms en say 'Oh de po' little thing De Lord God Amighty fogive po' ole Jim kaze he never gwyne to fogive hisself as long's he live Oh she was plumb deef en dumb Huck plumb deef en dumb en I'd ben a-treat'n her so CHAPTER XXIV NEXT day towards night we laid up under a little willow towhead out in the middle where there was a village on each side of the river and the duke and the king begun to lay out a plan for working them towns Jim he spoke to the duke and said he hoped it wouldn't take but a few hours because it got mighty heavy and tiresome to him when he had to lay all day in the wigwam tied with the rope You see when we left him all alone we had to tie him because if anybody happened on to him all by himself and not tied it wouldn't look much like he was a runaway nigger you know So the duke said it WAS kind of hard to have to lay roped all day and he'd cipher out some way to get around it He was uncommon bright the duke was and he soon struck it He dressed Jim up in King Lear's outfit it was a long curtain-calico gown and a white horse-hair wig and whiskers and then he took his theater paint and painted Jim's face and hands and ears and neck all over a dead dull solid blue like a man that's been drownded nine days Blamed if he warn't the horriblest looking outrage I ever see Then the duke took and wrote out a sign on a shingle so Sick Arab but harmless when not out of his head And he nailed that shingle to a lath and stood the lath up four or five foot in front of the wigwam Jim was satisfied He said it was a sight better than lying tied a couple of years every day and trembling all over every time there was a sound The duke told him to make himself free and easy and if anybody ever come meddling around he must hop out of the wigwam and carry on a little and fetch a howl or two like a wild beast and he reckoned they would light out and leave him alone Which was sound enough judgment but you take the average man and he wouldn't wait for him to howl Why he didn't only look like he was dead he looked considerable more than that These rapscallions wanted to try the Nonesuch again because there was so much money in it but they judged it wouldn't be safe because maybe the news might a worked along down by this time They couldn't hit no project that suited exactly so at last the duke said he reckoned he'd lay off and work his brains an hour or two and see if he couldn't put up something on the Arkansaw village and the king he allowed he would drop over to t'other village without any plan but just trust in Providence to lead him the profitable way meaning the devil I reckon We had all bought store clothes where we stopped last and now the king put his'n on and he told me to put mine on I done it of course The king's duds was all black and he did look real swell and starchy I never knowed how clothes could change a body before Why before he looked like the orneriest old rip that ever was but now when he'd take off his new white beaver and make a bow and do a smile he looked that grand and good and pious that you'd say he had walked right out of the ark and maybe was old Leviticus himself Jim cleaned up the canoe and I got my paddle ready There was a big steamboat laying at the shore away up under the point about three mile above the town been there a couple of hours taking on freight Says the king Seein' how I'm dressed I reckon maybe I better arrive down from St Louis or Cincinnati or some other big place Go for the steamboat Huckleberry we'll come down to the village on her I didn't have to be ordered twice to go and take a steamboat ride I fetched the shore a half a mile above the village and then went scooting along the bluff bank in the easy water Pretty soon we come to a nice innocent-looking young country jake setting on a log swabbing the sweat off of his face for it was powerful warm weather and he had a couple of big carpet-bags by him Run her nose in shore says the king I done it Wher' you bound for young man For the steamboat going to Orleans Git aboard says the king Hold on a minute my servant 'll he'p you with them bags Jump out and he'p the gentleman Adolphus meaning me I see I done so and then we all three started on again The young chap was mighty thankful said it was tough work toting his baggage such weather He asked the king where he was going and the king told him he'd come down the river and landed at the other village this morning and now he was going up a few mile to see an old friend on a farm up there The young fellow says When I first see you I says to myself 'It's Mr Wilks sure and he come mighty near getting here in time But then I says again 'No I reckon it ain't him or else he wouldn't be paddling up the river You AIN'T him are you No my name's Blodgett Elexander Blodgett REVEREND Elexander Blodgett I s'pose I must say as I'm one o' the Lord's poor servants But still I'm jist as able to be sorry for Mr Wilks for not arriving in time all the same if he's missed anything by it which I hope he hasn't Well he don't miss any property by it because he'll get that all right but he's missed seeing his brother Peter die which he mayn't mind nobody can tell as to that but his brother would a give anything in this world to see HIM before he died never talked about nothing else all these three weeks hadn't seen him since they was boys together and hadn't ever seen his brother William at all that's the deef and dumb one William ain't more than thirty or thirty-five Peter and George were the only ones that come out here George was the married brother him and his wife both died last year Harvey and William's the only ones that's left now and as I was saying they haven't got here in time Did anybody send 'em word Oh yes a month or two ago when Peter was first took because Peter said then that he sorter felt like he warn't going to get well this time You see he was pretty old and George's g'yirls was too young to be much company for him except Mary Jane the red-headed one and so he was kinder lonesome after George and his wife died and didn't seem to care much to live He most desperately wanted to see Harvey and William too for that matter because he was one of them kind that can't bear to make a will He left a letter behind for Harvey and said he'd told in it where his money was hid and how he wanted the rest of the property divided up so George's g'yirls would be all right for George didn't leave nothing And that letter was all they could get him to put a pen to Why do you reckon Harvey don't come Wher' does he live Oh he lives in England Sheffield preaches there hasn't ever been in this country He hasn't had any too much time and besides he mightn't a got the letter at all you know Too bad too bad he couldn't a lived to see his brothers poor soul You going to Orleans you say Yes but that ain't only a part of it I'm going in a ship next Wednesday for Ryo Janeero where my uncle lives It's a pretty long journey But it'll be lovely wisht I was a-going Is Mary Jane the oldest How old is the others Mary Jane's nineteen Susan's fifteen and Joanna's about fourteen that's the one that gives herself to good works and has a hare-lip Poor things to be left alone in the cold world so Well they could be worse off Old Peter had friends and they ain't going to let them come to no harm There's Hobson the Babtis' preacher and Deacon Lot Hovey and Ben Rucker and Abner Shackleford and Levi Bell the lawyer and Dr Robinson and their wives and the widow Bartley and well there's a lot of them but these are the ones that Peter was thickest with and used to write about sometimes when he wrote home so Harvey 'll know where to look for friends when he gets here Well the old man went on asking questions till he just fairly emptied that young fellow Blamed if he didn't inquire about everybody and everything in that blessed town and all about the Wilkses and about Peter's business which was a tanner and about George's which was a carpenter and about Harvey's which was a dissentering minister and so on and so on Then he says What did you want to walk all the way up to the steamboat for Because she's a big Orleans boat and I was afeard she mightn't stop there When they're deep they won't stop for a hail A Cincinnati boat will but this is a St Louis one Was Peter Wilks well off Oh yes pretty well off He had houses and land and it's reckoned he left three or four thousand in cash hid up som'ers When did you say he died I didn't say but it was last night Funeral to-morrow likely Yes 'bout the middle of the day Well it's all terrible sad but we've all got to go one time or another So what we want to do is to be prepared then we're all right Yes sir it's the best way Ma used to always say that When we struck the boat she was about done loading and pretty soon she got off The king never said nothing about going aboard so I lost my ride after all When the boat was gone the king made me paddle up another mile to a lonesome place and then he got ashore and says Now hustle back right off and fetch the duke up here and the new carpet-bags And if he's gone over to t'other side go over there and git him And tell him to git himself up regardless Shove along now I see what HE was up to but I never said nothing of course When I got back with the duke we hid the canoe and then they set down on a log and the king told him everything just like the young fellow had said it every last word of it And all the time he was a-doing it he tried to talk like an Englishman and he done it pretty well too for a slouch I can't imitate him and so I ain't a-going to try to but he really done it pretty good Then he says How are you on the deef and dumb Bilgewater The duke said leave him alone for that said he had played a deef and dumb person on the histronic boards So then they waited for a steamboat About the middle of the afternoon a couple of little boats come along but they didn't come from high enough up the river but at last there was a big one and they hailed her She sent out her yawl and we went aboard and she was from Cincinnati and when they found we only wanted to go four or five mile they was booming mad and gave us a cussing and said they wouldn't land us But the king was ca'm He says If gentlemen kin afford to pay a dollar a mile apiece to be took on and put off in a yawl a steamboat kin afford to carry 'em can't it So they softened down and said it was all right and when we got to the village they yawled us ashore About two dozen men flocked down when they see the yawl a-coming and when the king says Kin any of you gentlemen tell me wher' Mr Peter Wilks lives they give a glance at one another and nodded their heads as much as to say What d' I tell you Then one of them says kind of soft and gentle I'm sorry sir but the best we can do is to tell you where he DID live yesterday evening Sudden as winking the ornery old cretur went an to smash and fell up against the man and put his chin on his shoulder and cried down his back and says Alas alas our poor brother gone and we never got to see him oh it's too too hard Then he turns around blubbering and makes a lot of idiotic signs to the duke on his hands and blamed if he didn't drop a carpet-bag and bust out a-crying If they warn't the beatenest lot them two frauds that ever I struck Well the men gathered around and sympathized with them and said all sorts of kind things to them and carried their carpet-bags up the hill for them and let them lean on them and cry and told the king all about his brother's last moments and the king he told it all over again on his hands to the duke and both of them took on about that dead tanner like they'd lost the twelve disciples Well if ever I struck anything like it I'm a nigger It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race CHAPTER XXV THE news was all over town in two minutes and you could see the people tearing down on the run from every which way some of them putting on their coats as they come Pretty soon we was in the middle of a crowd and the noise of the tramping was like a soldier march The windows and dooryards was full and every minute somebody would say over a fence Is it THEM And somebody trotting along with the gang would answer back and say You bet it is When we got to the house the street in front of it was packed and the three girls was standing in the door Mary Jane WAS red-headed but that don't make no difference she was most awful beautiful and her face and her eyes was all lit up like glory she was so glad her uncles was come The king he spread his arms and Mary Jane she jumped for them and the hare-lip jumped for the duke and there they HAD it Everybody most leastways women cried for joy to see them meet again at last and have such good times Then the king he hunched the duke private I see him do it and then he looked around and see the coffin over in the corner on two chairs so then him and the duke with a hand across each other's shoulder and t'other hand to their eyes walked slow and solemn over there everybody dropping back to give them room and all the talk and noise stopping people saying Sh and all the men taking their hats off and drooping their heads so you could a heard a pin fall And when they got there they bent over and looked in the coffin and took one sight and then they bust out a-crying so you could a heard them to Orleans most and then they put their arms around each other's necks and hung their chins over each other's shoulders and then for three minutes or maybe four I never see two men leak the way they done And mind you everybody was doing the same and the place was that damp I never see anything like it Then one of them got on one side of the coffin and t'other on t'other side and they kneeled down and rested their foreheads on the coffin and let on to pray all to themselves Well when it come to that it worked the crowd like you never see anything like it and everybody broke down and went to sobbing right out loud the poor girls too and every woman nearly went up to the girls without saying a word and kissed them solemn on the forehead and then put their hand on their head and looked up towards the sky with the tears running down and then busted out and went off sobbing and swabbing and give the next woman a show I never see anything so disgusting Well by and by the king he gets up and comes forward a little and works himself up and slobbers out a speech all full of tears and flapdoodle about its being a sore trial for him and his poor brother to lose the diseased and to miss seeing diseased alive after the long journey of four thousand mile but it's a trial that's sweetened and sanctified to us by this dear sympathy and these holy tears and so he thanks them out of his heart and out of his brother's heart because out of their mouths they can't words being too weak and cold and all that kind of rot and slush till it was just sickening and then he blubbers out a pious goody-goody Amen and turns himself loose and goes to crying fit to bust And the minute the words were out of his mouth somebody over in the crowd struck up the doxolojer and everybody joined in with all their might and it just warmed you up and made you feel as good as church letting out Music is a good thing and after all that soul-butter and hogwash I never see it freshen up things so and sound so honest and bully Then the king begins to work his jaw again and says how him and his nieces would be glad if a few of the main principal friends of the family would take supper here with them this evening and help set up with the ashes of the diseased and says if his poor brother laying yonder could speak he knows who he would name for they was names that was very dear to him and mentioned often in his letters and so he will name the same to wit as follows vizz Rev Mr Hobson and Deacon Lot Hovey and Mr Ben Rucker and Abner Shackleford and Levi Bell and Dr Robinson and their wives and the widow Bartley Rev Hobson and Dr Robinson was down to the end of the town a-hunting together that is I mean the doctor was shipping a sick man to t'other world and the preacher was pinting him right Lawyer Bell was away up to Louisville on business But the rest was on hand and so they all come and shook hands with the king and thanked him and talked to him and then they shook hands with the duke and didn't say nothing but just kept a-smiling and bobbing their heads like a passel of sapheads whilst he made all sorts of signs with his hands and said Goo-goo goo-goo-goo all the time like a baby that can't talk So the king he blattered along and managed to inquire about pretty much everybody and dog in town by his name and mentioned all sorts of little things that happened one time or another in the town or to George's family or to Peter And he always let on that Peter wrote him the things but that was a lie he got every blessed one of them out of that young flathead that we canoed up to the steamboat Then Mary Jane she fetched the letter her father left behind and the king he read it out loud and cried over it It give the dwelling-house and three thousand dollars gold to the girls and it give the tanyard which was doing a good business along with some other houses and land worth about seven thousand and three thousand dollars in gold to Harvey and William and told where the six thousand cash was hid down cellar So these two frauds said they'd go and fetch it up and have everything square and above-board and told me to come with a candle We shut the cellar door behind us and when they found the bag they spilt it out on the floor and it was a lovely sight all them yaller-boys My the way the king's eyes did shine He slaps the duke on the shoulder and says Oh THIS ain't bully nor noth'n Oh no I reckon not Why Billy it beats the Nonesuch DON'T it The duke allowed it did They pawed the yaller-boys and sifted them through their fingers and let them jingle down on the floor and the king says It ain't no use talkin' bein' brothers to a rich dead man and representatives of furrin heirs that's got left is the line for you and me Bilge Thish yer comes of trust'n to Providence It's the best way in the long run I've tried 'em all and ther' ain't no better way Most everybody would a been satisfied with the pile and took it on trust but no they must count it So they counts it and it comes out four hundred and fifteen dollars short Says the king Dern him I wonder what he done with that four hundred and fifteen dollars They worried over that awhile and ransacked all around for it Then the duke says Well he was a pretty sick man and likely he made a mistake I reckon that's the way of it The best way's to let it go and keep still about it We can spare it Oh shucks yes we can SPARE it I don't k'yer noth'n 'bout that it's the COUNT I'm thinkin' about We want to be awful square and open and above-board here you know We want to lug this h-yer money up stairs and count it before everybody then ther' ain't noth'n suspicious But when the dead man says ther's six thous'n dollars you know we don't want to Hold on says the duke Le's make up the deffisit and he begun to haul out yaller-boys out of his pocket It's a most amaz'n' good idea duke you HAVE got a rattlin' clever head on you says the king Blest if the old Nonesuch ain't a heppin' us out agin and HE begun to haul out yaller-jackets and stack them up It most busted them but they made up the six thousand clean and clear Say says the duke I got another idea Le's go up stairs and count this money and then take and GIVE IT TO THE GIRLS Good land duke lemme hug you It's the most dazzling idea 'at ever a man struck You have cert'nly got the most astonishin' head I ever see Oh this is the boss dodge ther' ain't no mistake 'bout it Let 'em fetch along their suspicions now if they want to this 'll lay 'em out When we got up-stairs everybody gethered around the table and the king he counted it and stacked it up three hundred dollars in a pile twenty elegant little piles Everybody looked hungry at it and licked their chops Then they raked it into the bag again and I see the king begin to swell himself up for another speech He says Friends all my poor brother that lays yonder has done generous by them that's left behind in the vale of sorrers He has done generous by these yer poor little lambs that he loved and sheltered and that's left fatherless and motherless Yes and we that knowed him knows that he would a done MORE generous by 'em if he hadn't ben afeard o' woundin' his dear William and me Now WOULDN'T he Ther' ain't no question 'bout it in MY mind Well then what kind o' brothers would it be that 'd stand in his way at sech a time And what kind o' uncles would it be that 'd rob yes ROB sech poor sweet lambs as these 'at he loved so at sech a time If I know William and I THINK I do he well I'll jest ask him He turns around and begins to make a lot of signs to the duke with his hands and the duke he looks at him stupid and leather-headed a while then all of a sudden he seems to catch his meaning and jumps for the king goo-gooing with all his might for joy and hugs him about fifteen times before he lets up Then the king says I knowed it I reckon THAT 'll convince anybody the way HE feels about it Here Mary Jane Susan Joanner take the money take it ALL It's the gift of him that lays yonder cold but joyful Mary Jane she went for him Susan and the hare-lip went for the duke and then such another hugging and kissing I never see yet And everybody crowded up with the tears in their eyes and most shook the hands off of them frauds saying all the time You DEAR good souls how LOVELY how COULD you Well then pretty soon all hands got to talking about the diseased again and how good he was and what a loss he was and all that and before long a big iron-jawed man worked himself in there from outside and stood a-listening and looking and not saying anything and nobody saying anything to him either because the king was talking and they was all busy listening The king was saying in the middle of something he'd started in on they bein' partickler friends o' the diseased That's why they're invited here this evenin' but tomorrow we want ALL to come everybody for he respected everybody he liked everybody and so it's fitten that his funeral orgies sh'd be public And so he went a-mooning on and on liking to hear himself talk and every little while he fetched in his funeral orgies again till the duke he couldn't stand it no more so he writes on a little scrap of paper OBSEQUIES you old fool and folds it up and goes to goo-gooing and reaching it over people's heads to him The king he reads it and puts it in his pocket and says Poor William afflicted as he is his HEART'S aluz right Asks me to invite everybody to come to the funeral wants me to make 'em all welcome But he needn't a worried it was jest what I was at Then he weaves along again perfectly ca'm and goes to dropping in his funeral orgies again every now and then just like he done before And when he done it the third time he says I say orgies not because it's the common term because it ain't obsequies bein' the common term but because orgies is the right term Obsequies ain't used in England no more now it's gone out We say orgies now in England Orgies is better because it means the thing you're after more exact It's a word that's made up out'n the Greek ORGO outside open abroad and the Hebrew JEESUM to plant cover up hence inTER So you see funeral orgies is an open er public funeral He was the WORST I ever struck Well the iron-jawed man he laughed right in his face Everybody was shocked Everybody says Why DOCTOR and Abner Shackleford says Why Robinson hain't you heard the news This is Harvey Wilks The king he smiled eager and shoved out his flapper and says Is it my poor brother's dear good friend and physician I Keep your hands off of me says the doctor YOU talk like an Englishman DON'T you It's the worst imitation I ever heard YOU Peter Wilks's brother You're a fraud that's what you are Well how they all took on They crowded around the doctor and tried to quiet him down and tried to explain to him and tell him how Harvey 'd showed in forty ways that he WAS Harvey and knowed everybody by name and the names of the very dogs and begged and BEGGED him not to hurt Harvey's feelings and the poor girl's feelings and all that But it warn't no use he stormed right along and said any man that pretended to be an Englishman and couldn't imitate the lingo no better than what he did was a fraud and a liar The poor girls was hanging to the king and crying and all of a sudden the doctor ups and turns on THEM He says I was your father's friend and I'm your friend and I warn you as a friend and an honest one that wants to protect you and keep you out of harm and trouble to turn your backs on that scoundrel and have nothing to do with him the ignorant tramp with his idiotic Greek and Hebrew as he calls it He is the thinnest kind of an impostor has come here with a lot of empty names and facts which he picked up somewheres and you take them for PROOFS and are helped to fool yourselves by these foolish friends here who ought to know better Mary Jane Wilks you know me for your friend and for your unselfish friend too Now listen to me turn this pitiful rascal out I BEG you to do it Will you Mary Jane straightened herself up and my but she was handsome She says HERE is my answer She hove up the bag of money and put it in the king's hands and says Take this six thousand dollars and invest for me and my sisters any way you want to and don't give us no receipt for it Then she put her arm around the king on one side and Susan and the hare-lip done the same on the other Everybody clapped their hands and stomped on the floor like a perfect storm whilst the king held up his head and smiled proud The doctor says All right I wash MY hands of the matter But I warn you all that a time 's coming when you're going to feel sick whenever you think of this day And away he went All right doctor says the king kinder mocking him we'll try and get 'em to send for you which made them all laugh and they said it was a prime good hit CHAPTER XXVI WELL when they was all gone the king he asks Mary Jane how they was off for spare rooms and she said she had one spare room which would do for Uncle William and she'd give her own room to Uncle Harvey which was a little bigger and she would turn into the room with her sisters and sleep on a cot and up garret was a little cubby with a pallet in it The king said the cubby would do for his valley meaning me So Mary Jane took us up and she showed them their rooms which was plain but nice She said she'd have her frocks and a lot of other traps took out of her room if they was in Uncle Harvey's way but he said they warn't The frocks was hung along the wall and before them was a curtain made out of calico that hung down to the floor There was an old hair trunk in one corner and a guitar-box in another and all sorts of little knickknacks and jimcracks around like girls brisken up a room with The king said it was all the more homely and more pleasanter for these fixings and so don't disturb them The duke's room was pretty small but plenty good enough and so was my cubby That night they had a big supper and all them men and women was there and I stood behind the king and the duke's chairs and waited on them and the niggers waited on the rest Mary Jane she set at the head of the table with Susan alongside of her and said how bad the biscuits was and how mean the preserves was and how ornery and tough the fried chickens was and all that kind of rot the way women always do for to force out compliments and the people all knowed everything was tiptop and said so said How DO you get biscuits to brown so nice and Where for the land's sake DID you get these amaz'n pickles and all that kind of humbug talky-talk just the way people always does at a supper you know And when it was all done me and the hare-lip had supper in the kitchen off of the leavings whilst the others was helping the niggers clean up the things The hare-lip she got to pumping me about England and blest if I didn't think the ice was getting mighty thin sometimes She says Did you ever see the king Who William Fourth Well I bet I have he goes to our church I knowed he was dead years ago but I never let on So when I says he goes to our church she says What regular Yes regular His pew's right over opposite ourn on t'other side the pulpit I thought he lived in London Well he does Where WOULD he live But I thought YOU lived in Sheffield I see I was up a stump I had to let on to get choked with a chicken bone so as to get time to think how to get down again Then I says I mean he goes to our church regular when he's in Sheffield That's only in the summer time when he comes there to take the sea baths Why how you talk Sheffield ain't on the sea Well who said it was Why you did I DIDN'T nuther You did I didn't You did I never said nothing of the kind Well what DID you say then Said he come to take the sea BATHS that's what I said Well then how's he going to take the sea baths if it ain't on the sea Looky here I says did you ever see any Congress-water Yes Well did you have to go to Congress to get it Why no Well neither does William Fourth have to go to the sea to get a sea bath How does he get it then Gets it the way people down here gets Congress-water in barrels There in the palace at Sheffield they've got furnaces and he wants his water hot They can't bile that amount of water away off there at the sea They haven't got no conveniences for it Oh I see now You might a said that in the first place and saved time When she said that I see I was out of the woods again and so I was comfortable and glad Next she says Do you go to church too Yes regular Where do you set Why in our pew WHOSE pew Why OURN your Uncle Harvey's His'n What does HE want with a pew Wants it to set in What did you RECKON he wanted with it Why I thought he'd be in the pulpit Rot him I forgot he was a preacher I see I was up a stump again so I played another chicken bone and got another think Then I says Blame it do you suppose there ain't but one preacher to a church Why what do they want with more What to preach before a king I never did see such a girl as you They don't have no less than seventeen Seventeen My land Why I wouldn't set out such a string as that not if I NEVER got to glory It must take 'em a week Shucks they don't ALL of 'em preach the same day only ONE of 'em Well then what does the rest of 'em do Oh nothing much Loll around pass the plate and one thing or another But mainly they don't do nothing Well then what are they FOR Why they're for STYLE Don't you know nothing Well I don't WANT to know no such foolishness as that How is servants treated in England Do they treat 'em better 'n we treat our niggers NO A servant ain't nobody there They treat them worse than dogs Don't they give 'em holidays the way we do Christmas and New Year's week and Fourth of July Oh just listen A body could tell YOU hain't ever been to England by that Why Hare-l why Joanna they never see a holiday from year's end to year's end never go to the circus nor theater nor nigger shows nor nowheres Nor church Nor church But YOU always went to church Well I was gone up again I forgot I was the old man's servant But next minute I whirled in on a kind of an explanation how a valley was different from a common servant and HAD to go to church whether he wanted to or not and set with the family on account of its being the law But I didn't do it pretty good and when I got done I see she warn't satisfied She says Honest injun now hain't you been telling me a lot of lies Honest injun says I None of it at all None of it at all Not a lie in it says I Lay your hand on this book and say it I see it warn't nothing but a dictionary so I laid my hand on it and said it So then she looked a little better satisfied and says Well then I'll believe some of it but I hope to gracious if I'll believe the rest What is it you won't believe Joe says Mary Jane stepping in with Susan behind her It ain't right nor kind for you to talk so to him and him a stranger and so far from his people How would you like to be treated so That's always your way Maim always sailing in to help somebody before they're hurt I hain't done nothing to him He's told some stretchers I reckon and I said I wouldn't swallow it all and that's every bit and grain I DID say I reckon he can stand a little thing like that can't he I don't care whether 'twas little or whether 'twas big he's here in our house and a stranger and it wasn't good of you to say it If you was in his place it would make you feel ashamed and so you oughtn't to say a thing to another person that will make THEM feel ashamed Why Maim he said It don't make no difference what he SAID that ain't the thing The thing is for you to treat him KIND and not be saying things to make him remember he ain't in his own country and amongst his own folks I says to myself THIS is a girl that I'm letting that old reptle rob her of her money Then Susan SHE waltzed in and if you'll believe me she did give Hare-lip hark from the tomb Says I to myself and this is ANOTHER one that I'm letting him rob her of her money Then Mary Jane she took another inning and went in sweet and lovely again which was her way but when she got done there warn't hardly anything left o' poor Hare-lip So she hollered All right then says the other girls you just ask his pardon She done it too and she done it beautiful She done it so beautiful it was good to hear and I wished I could tell her a thousand lies so she could do it again I says to myself this is ANOTHER one that I'm letting him rob her of her money And when she got through they all jest laid theirselves out to make me feel at home and know I was amongst friends I felt so ornery and low down and mean that I says to myself my mind's made up I'll hive that money for them or bust So then I lit out for bed I said meaning some time or another When I got by myself I went to thinking the thing over I says to myself shall I go to that doctor private and blow on these frauds No that won't do He might tell who told him then the king and the duke would make it warm for me Shall I go private and tell Mary Jane No I dasn't do it Her face would give them a hint sure they've got the money and they'd slide right out and get away with it If she was to fetch in help I'd get mixed up in the business before it was done with I judge No there ain't no good way but one I got to steal that money somehow and I got to steal it some way that they won't suspicion that I done it They've got a good thing here and they ain't a-going to leave till they've played this family and this town for all they're worth so I'll find a chance time enough I'll steal it and hide it and by and by when I'm away down the river I'll write a letter and tell Mary Jane where it's hid But I better hive it tonight if I can because the doctor maybe hasn't let up as much as he lets on he has he might scare them out of here yet So thinks I I'll go and search them rooms Upstairs the hall was dark but I found the duke's room and started to paw around it with my hands but I recollected it wouldn't be much like the king to let anybody else take care of that money but his own self so then I went to his room and begun to paw around there But I see I couldn't do nothing without a candle and I dasn't light one of course So I judged I'd got to do the other thing lay for them and eavesdrop About that time I hears their footsteps coming and was going to skip under the bed I reached for it but it wasn't where I thought it would be but I touched the curtain that hid Mary Jane's frocks so I jumped in behind that and snuggled in amongst the gowns and stood there perfectly still They come in and shut the door and the first thing the duke done was to get down and look under the bed Then I was glad I hadn't found the bed when I wanted it And yet you know it's kind of natural to hide under the bed when you are up to anything private They sets down then and the king says Well what is it And cut it middlin' short because it's better for us to be down there a-whoopin' up the mournin' than up here givin' 'em a chance to talk us over Well this is it Capet I ain't easy I ain't comfortable That doctor lays on my mind I wanted to know your plans I've got a notion and I think it's a sound one What is it duke That we better glide out of this before three in the morning and clip it down the river with what we've got Specially seeing we got it so easy GIVEN back to us flung at our heads as you may say when of course we allowed to have to steal it back I'm for knocking off and lighting out That made me feel pretty bad About an hour or two ago it would a been a little different but now it made me feel bad and disappointed The king rips out and says What And not sell out the rest o' the property March off like a passel of fools and leave eight or nine thous'n' dollars' worth o' property layin' around jest sufferin' to be scooped in and all good salable stuff too The duke he grumbled said the bag of gold was enough and he didn't want to go no deeper didn't want to rob a lot of orphans of EVERYTHING they had Why how you talk says the king We sha'n't rob 'em of nothing at all but jest this money The people that BUYS the property is the suff'rers because as soon 's it's found out 'at we didn't own it which won't be long after we've slid the sale won't be valid and it 'll all go back to the estate These yer orphans 'll git their house back agin and that's enough for THEM they're young and spry and k'n easy earn a livin' THEY ain't a-goin to suffer Why jest think there's thous'n's and thous'n's that ain't nigh so well off Bless you THEY ain't got noth'n' to complain of Well the king he talked him blind so at last he give in and said all right but said he believed it was blamed foolishness to stay and that doctor hanging over them But the king says Cuss the doctor What do we k'yer for HIM Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side And ain't that a big enough majority in any town So they got ready to go down stairs again The duke says I don't think we put that money in a good place That cheered me up I'd begun to think I warn't going to get a hint of no kind to help me The king says Why Because Mary Jane 'll be in mourning from this out and first you know the nigger that does up the rooms will get an order to box these duds up and put 'em away and do you reckon a nigger can run across money and not borrow some of it Your head's level agin duke says the king and he comes a-fumbling under the curtain two or three foot from where I was I stuck tight to the wall and kept mighty still though quivery and I wondered what them fellows would say to me if they catched me and I tried to think what I'd better do if they did catch me But the king he got the bag before I could think more than about a half a thought and he never suspicioned I was around They took and shoved the bag through a rip in the straw tick that was under the feather-bed and crammed it in a foot or two amongst the straw and said it was all right now because a nigger only makes up the feather-bed and don't turn over the straw tick only about twice a year and so it warn't in no danger of getting stole now But I knowed better I had it out of there before they was half-way down stairs I groped along up to my cubby and hid it there till I could get a chance to do better I judged I better hide it outside of the house somewheres because if they missed it they would give the house a good ransacking I knowed that very well Then I turned in with my clothes all on but I couldn't a gone to sleep if I'd a wanted to I was in such a sweat to get through with the business By and by I heard the king and the duke come up so I rolled off my pallet and laid with my chin at the top of my ladder and waited to see if anything was going to happen But nothing did So I held on till all the late sounds had quit and the early ones hadn't begun yet and then I slipped down the ladder CHAPTER XXVII I CREPT to their doors and listened they was snoring So I tiptoed along and got down stairs all right There warn't a sound anywheres I peeped through a crack of the dining-room door and see the men that was watching the corpse all sound asleep on their chairs The door was open into the parlor where the corpse was laying and there was a candle in both rooms I passed along and the parlor door was open but I see there warn't nobody in there but the remainders of Peter so I shoved on by but the front door was locked and the key wasn't there Just then I heard somebody coming down the stairs back behind me I run in the parlor and took a swift look around and the only place I see to hide the bag was in the coffin The lid was shoved along about a foot showing the dead man's face down in there with a wet cloth over it and his shroud on I tucked the money-bag in under the lid just down beyond where his hands was crossed which made me creep they was so cold and then I run back across the room and in behind the door The person coming was Mary Jane She went to the coffin very soft and kneeled down and looked in then she put up her handkerchief and I see she begun to cry though I couldn't hear her and her back was to me I slid out and as I passed the dining-room I thought I'd make sure them watchers hadn't seen me so I looked through the crack and everything was all right They hadn't stirred I slipped up to bed feeling ruther blue on accounts of the thing playing out that way after I had took so much trouble and run so much resk about it Says I if it could stay where it is all right because when we get down the river a hundred mile or two I could write back to Mary Jane and she could dig him up again and get it but that ain't the thing that's going to happen the thing that's going to happen is the money 'll be found when they come to screw on the lid Then the king 'll get it again and it 'll be a long day before he gives anybody another chance to smouch it from him Of course I WANTED to slide down and get it out of there but I dasn't try it Every minute it was getting earlier now and pretty soon some of them watchers would begin to stir and I might get catched catched with six thousand dollars in my hands that nobody hadn't hired me to take care of I don't wish to be mixed up in no such business as that I says to myself When I got down stairs in the morning the parlor was shut up and the watchers was gone There warn't nobody around but the family and the widow Bartley and our tribe I watched their faces to see if anything had been happening but I couldn't tell Towards the middle of the day the undertaker come with his man and they set the coffin in the middle of the room on a couple of chairs and then set all our chairs in rows and borrowed more from the neighbors till the hall and the parlor and the dining-room was full I see the coffin lid was the way it was before but I dasn't go to look in under it with folks around Then the people begun to flock in and the beats and the girls took seats in the front row at the head of the coffin and for a half an hour the people filed around slow in single rank and looked down at the dead man's face a minute and some dropped in a tear and it was all very still and solemn only the girls and the beats holding handkerchiefs to their eyes and keeping their heads bent and sobbing a little There warn't no other sound but the scraping of the feet on the floor and blowing noses because people always blows them more at a funeral than they do at other places except church When the place was packed full the undertaker he slid around in his black gloves with his softy soothering ways putting on the last touches and getting people and things all ship-shape and comfortable and making no more sound than a cat He never spoke he moved people around he squeezed in late ones he opened up passageways and done it with nods and signs with his hands Then he took his place over against the wall He was the softest glidingest stealthiest man I ever see and there warn't no more smile to him than there is to a ham They had borrowed a melodeum a sick one and when everything was ready a young woman set down and worked it and it was pretty skreeky and colicky and everybody joined in and sung and Peter was the only one that had a good thing according to my notion Then the Reverend Hobson opened up slow and solemn and begun to talk and straight off the most outrageous row busted out in the cellar a body ever heard it was only one dog but he made a most powerful racket and he kept it up right along the parson he had to stand there over the coffin and wait you couldn't hear yourself think It was right down awkward and nobody didn't seem to know what to do But pretty soon they see that long-legged undertaker make a sign to the preacher as much as to say Don't you worry just depend on me Then he stooped down and begun to glide along the wall just his shoulders showing over the people's heads So he glided along and the powwow and racket getting more and more outrageous all the time and at last when he had gone around two sides of the room he disappears down cellar Then in about two seconds we heard a whack and the dog he finished up with a most amazing howl or two and then everything was dead still and the parson begun his solemn talk where he left off In a minute or two here comes this undertaker's back and shoulders gliding along the wall again and so he glided and glided around three sides of the room and then rose up and shaded his mouth with his hands and stretched his neck out towards the preacher over the people's heads and says in a kind of a coarse whisper HE HAD A RAT Then he drooped down and glided along the wall again to his place You could see it was a great satisfaction to the people because naturally they wanted to know A little thing like that don't cost nothing and it's just the little things that makes a man to be looked up to and liked There warn't no more popular man in town than what that undertaker was Well the funeral sermon was very good but pison long and tiresome and then the king he shoved in and got off some of his usual rubbage and at last the job was through and the undertaker begun to sneak up on the coffin with his screw-driver I was in a sweat then and watched him pretty keen But he never meddled at all just slid the lid along as soft as mush and screwed it down tight and fast So there I was I didn't know whether the money was in there or not So says I s'pose somebody has hogged that bag on the sly now how do I know whether to write to Mary Jane or not S'pose she dug him up and didn't find nothing what would she think of me Blame it I says I might get hunted up and jailed I'd better lay low and keep dark and not write at all the thing's awful mixed now trying to better it I've worsened it a hundred times and I wish to goodness I'd just let it alone dad fetch the whole business They buried him and we come back home and I went to watching faces again I couldn't help it and I couldn't rest easy But nothing come of it the faces didn't tell me nothing The king he visited around in the evening and sweetened everybody up and made himself ever so friendly and he give out the idea that his congregation over in England would be in a sweat about him so he must hurry and settle up the estate right away and leave for home He was very sorry he was so pushed and so was everybody they wished he could stay longer but they said they could see it couldn't be done And he said of course him and William would take the girls home with them and that pleased everybody too because then the girls would be well fixed and amongst their own relations and it pleased the girls too tickled them so they clean forgot they ever had a trouble in the world and told him to sell out as quick as he wanted to they would be ready Them poor things was that glad and happy it made my heart ache to see them getting fooled and lied to so but I didn't see no safe way for me to chip in and change the general tune Well blamed if the king didn't bill the house and the niggers and all the property for auction straight off sale two days after the funeral but anybody could buy private beforehand if they wanted to So the next day after the funeral along about noon-time the girls' joy got the first jolt A couple of nigger traders come along and the king sold them the niggers reasonable for three-day drafts as they called it and away they went the two sons up the river to Memphis and their mother down the river to Orleans I thought them poor girls and them niggers would break their hearts for grief they cried around each other and took on so it most made me down sick to see it The girls said they hadn't ever dreamed of seeing the family separated or sold away from the town I can't ever get it out of my memory the sight of them poor miserable girls and niggers hanging around each other's necks and crying and I reckon I couldn't a stood it all but would a had to bust out and tell on our gang if I hadn't knowed the sale warn't no account and the niggers would be back home in a week or two The thing made a big stir in the town too and a good many come out flatfooted and said it was scandalous to separate the mother and the children that way It injured the frauds some but the old fool he bulled right along spite of all the duke could say or do and I tell you the duke was powerful uneasy Next day was auction day About broad day in the morning the king and the duke come up in the garret and woke me up and I see by their look that there was trouble The king says Was you in my room night before last No your majesty which was the way I always called him when nobody but our gang warn't around Was you in there yisterday er last night No your majesty Honor bright now no lies Honor bright your majesty I'm telling you the truth I hain't been a-near your room since Miss Mary Jane took you and the duke and showed it to you The duke says Have you seen anybody else go in there No your grace not as I remember I believe Stop and think I studied awhile and see my chance then I says Well I see the niggers go in there several times Both of them gave a little jump and looked like they hadn't ever expected it and then like they HAD Then the duke says What all of them No leastways not all at once that is I don't think I ever see them all come OUT at once but just one time Hello When was that It was the day we had the funeral In the morning It warn't early because I overslept I was just starting down the ladder and I see them Well go on GO on What did they do How'd they act They didn't do nothing And they didn't act anyway much as fur as I see They tiptoed away so I seen easy enough that they'd shoved in there to do up your majesty's room or something s'posing you was up and found you WARN'T up and so they was hoping to slide out of the way of trouble without waking you up if they hadn't already waked you up Great guns THIS is a go says the king and both of them looked pretty sick and tolerable silly They stood there a-thinking and scratching their heads a minute and the duke he bust into a kind of a little raspy chuckle and says It does beat all how neat the niggers played their hand They let on to be SORRY they was going out of this region And I believed they WAS sorry and so did you and so did everybody Don't ever tell ME any more that a nigger ain't got any histrionic talent Why the way they played that thing it would fool ANYBODY In my opinion there's a fortune in 'em If I had capital and a theater I wouldn't want a better lay-out than that and here we've gone and sold 'em for a song Yes and ain't privileged to sing the song yet Say where IS that song that draft In the bank for to be collected Where WOULD it be Well THAT'S all right then thank goodness Says I kind of timid-like Is something gone wrong The king whirls on me and rips out None o' your business You keep your head shet and mind y'r own affairs if you got any Long as you're in this town don't you forgit THAT you hear Then he says to the duke We got to jest swaller it and say noth'n' mum's the word for US As they was starting down the ladder the duke he chuckles again and says Quick sales AND small profits It's a good business yes The king snarls around on him and says I was trying to do for the best in sellin' 'em out so quick If the profits has turned out to be none lackin' considable and none to carry is it my fault any more'n it's yourn Well THEY'D be in this house yet and we WOULDN'T if I could a got my advice listened to The king sassed back as much as was safe for him and then swapped around and lit into ME again He give me down the banks for not coming and TELLING him I see the niggers come out of his room acting that way said any fool would a KNOWED something was up And then waltzed in and cussed HIMSELF awhile and said it all come of him not laying late and taking his natural rest that morning and he'd be blamed if he'd ever do it again So they went off a-jawing and I felt dreadful glad I'd worked it all off on to the niggers and yet hadn't done the niggers no harm by it CHAPTER XXVIII BY and by it was getting-up time So I come down the ladder and started for down-stairs but as I come to the girls' room the door was open and I see Mary Jane setting by her old hair trunk which was open and she'd been packing things in it getting ready to go to England But she had stopped now with a folded gown in her lap and had her face in her hands crying I felt awful bad to see it of course anybody would I went in there and says Miss Mary Jane you can't a-bear to see people in trouble and I can't most always Tell me about it So she done it And it was the niggers I just expected it She said the beautiful trip to England was most about spoiled for her she didn't know HOW she was ever going to be happy there knowing the mother and the children warn't ever going to see each other no more and then busted out bitterer than ever and flung up her hands and says Oh dear dear to think they ain't EVER going to see each other any more But they WILL and inside of two weeks and I KNOW it says I Laws it was out before I could think And before I could budge she throws her arms around my neck and told me to say it AGAIN say it AGAIN say it AGAIN I see I had spoke too sudden and said too much and was in a close place I asked her to let me think a minute and she set there very impatient and excited and handsome but looking kind of happy and eased-up like a person that's had a tooth pulled out So I went to studying it out I says to myself I reckon a body that ups and tells the truth when he is in a tight place is taking considerable many resks though I ain't had no experience and can't say for certain but it looks so to me anyway and yet here's a case where I'm blest if it don't look to me like the truth is better and actuly SAFER than a lie I must lay it by in my mind and think it over some time or other it's so kind of strange and unregular I never see nothing like it Well I says to myself at last I'm a-going to chance it I'll up and tell the truth this time though it does seem most like setting down on a kag of powder and touching it off just to see where you'll go to Then I says Miss Mary Jane is there any place out of town a little ways where you could go and stay three or four days Yes Mr Lothrop's Why Never mind why yet If I'll tell you how I know the niggers will see each other again inside of two weeks here in this house and PROVE how I know it will you go to Mr Lothrop's and stay four days Four days she says I'll stay a year All right I says I don't want nothing more out of YOU than just your word I druther have it than another man's kiss-the-Bible She smiled and reddened up very sweet and I says If you don't mind it I'll shut the door and bolt it Then I come back and set down again and says Don't you holler Just set still and take it like a man I got to tell the truth and you want to brace up Miss Mary because it's a bad kind and going to be hard to take but there ain't no help for it These uncles of yourn ain't no uncles at all they're a couple of frauds regular dead-beats There now we're over the worst of it you can stand the rest middling easy It jolted her up like everything of course but I was over the shoal water now so I went right along her eyes a-blazing higher and higher all the time and told her every blame thing from where we first struck that young fool going up to the steamboat clear through to where she flung herself on to the king's breast at the front door and he kissed her sixteen or seventeen times and then up she jumps with her face afire like sunset and says The brute Come don't waste a minute not a SECOND we'll have them tarred and feathered and flung in the river Says I Cert'nly But do you mean BEFORE you go to Mr Lothrop's or Oh she says what am I THINKING about she says and set right down again Don't mind what I said please don't you WON'T now WILL you Laying her silky hand on mine in that kind of a way that I said I would die first I never thought I was so stirred up she says now go on and I won't do so any more You tell me what to do and whatever you say I'll do it Well I says it's a rough gang them two frauds and I'm fixed so I got to travel with them a while longer whether I want to or not I druther not tell you why and if you was to blow on them this town would get me out of their claws and I'd be all right but there'd be another person that you don't know about who'd be in big trouble Well we got to save HIM hain't we Of course Well then we won't blow on them Saying them words put a good idea in my head I see how maybe I could get me and Jim rid of the frauds get them jailed here and then leave But I didn't want to run the raft in the daytime without anybody aboard to answer questions but me so I didn't want the plan to begin working till pretty late to-night I says Miss Mary Jane I'll tell you what we'll do and you won't have to stay at Mr Lothrop's so long nuther How fur is it A little short of four miles right out in the country back here Well that 'll answer Now you go along out there and lay low till nine or half-past to-night and then get them to fetch you home again tell them you've thought of something If you get here before eleven put a candle in this window and if I don't turn up wait TILL eleven and THEN if I don't turn up it means I'm gone and out of the way and safe Then you come out and spread the news around and get these beats jailed Good she says I'll do it And if it just happens so that I don't get away but get took up along with them you must up and say I told you the whole thing beforehand and you must stand by me all you can Stand by you indeed I will They sha'n't touch a hair of your head she says and I see her nostrils spread and her eyes snap when she said it too If I get away I sha'n't be here I says to prove these rapscallions ain't your uncles and I couldn't do it if I WAS here I could swear they was beats and bummers that's all though that's worth something Well there's others can do that better than what I can and they're people that ain't going to be doubted as quick as I'd be I'll tell you how to find them Gimme a pencil and a piece of paper There 'Royal Nonesuch Bricksville Put it away and don't lose it When the court wants to find out something about these two let them send up to Bricksville and say they've got the men that played the Royal Nonesuch and ask for some witnesses why you'll have that entire town down here before you can hardly wink Miss Mary And they'll come a-biling too I judged we had got everything fixed about right now So I says Just let the auction go right along and don't worry Nobody don't have to pay for the things they buy till a whole day after the auction on accounts of the short notice and they ain't going out of this till they get that money and the way we've fixed it the sale ain't going to count and they ain't going to get no money It's just like the way it was with the niggers it warn't no sale and the niggers will be back before long Why they can't collect the money for the NIGGERS yet they're in the worst kind of a fix Miss Mary Well she says I'll run down to breakfast now and then I'll start straight for Mr Lothrop's 'Deed THAT ain't the ticket Miss Mary Jane I says by no manner of means go BEFORE breakfast Why What did you reckon I wanted you to go at all for Miss Mary Well I never thought and come to think I don't know What was it Why it's because you ain't one of these leather-face people I don't want no better book than what your face is A body can set down and read it off like coarse print Do you reckon you can go and face your uncles when they come to kiss you good-morning and never There there don't Yes I'll go before breakfast I'll be glad to And leave my sisters with them Yes never mind about them They've got to stand it yet a while They might suspicion something if all of you was to go I don't want you to see them nor your sisters nor nobody in this town if a neighbor was to ask how is your uncles this morning your face would tell something No you go right along Miss Mary Jane and I'll fix it with all of them I'll tell Miss Susan to give your love to your uncles and say you've went away for a few hours for to get a little rest and change or to see a friend and you'll be back to-night or early in the morning Gone to see a friend is all right but I won't have my love given to them Well then it sha'n't be It was well enough to tell HER so no harm in it It was only a little thing to do and no trouble and it's the little things that smooths people's roads the most down here below it would make Mary Jane comfortable and it wouldn't cost nothing Then I says There's one more thing that bag of money Well they've got that and it makes me feel pretty silly to think HOW they got it No you're out there They hain't got it Why who's got it I wish I knowed but I don't I HAD it because I stole it from them and I stole it to give to you and I know where I hid it but I'm afraid it ain't there no more I'm awful sorry Miss Mary Jane I'm just as sorry as I can be but I done the best I could I did honest I come nigh getting caught and I had to shove it into the first place I come to and run and it warn't a good place Oh stop blaming yourself it's too bad to do it and I won't allow it you couldn't help it it wasn't your fault Where did you hide it I didn't want to set her to thinking about her troubles again and I couldn't seem to get my mouth to tell her what would make her see that corpse laying in the coffin with that bag of money on his stomach So for a minute I didn't say nothing then I says I'd ruther not TELL you where I put it Miss Mary Jane if you don't mind letting me off but I'll write it for you on a piece of paper and you can read it along the road to Mr Lothrop's if you want to Do you reckon that 'll do Oh yes So I wrote I put it in the coffin It was in there when you was crying there away in the night I was behind the door and I was mighty sorry for you Miss Mary Jane It made my eyes water a little to remember her crying there all by herself in the night and them devils laying there right under her own roof shaming her and robbing her and when I folded it up and give it to her I see the water come into her eyes too and she shook me by the hand hard and says GOOD-bye I'm going to do everything just as you've told me and if I don't ever see you again I sha'n't ever forget you and I'll think of you a many and a many a time and I'll PRAY for you too and she was gone Pray for me I reckoned if she knowed me she'd take a job that was more nearer her size But I bet she done it just the same she was just that kind She had the grit to pray for Judus if she took the notion there warn't no back-down to her I judge You may say what you want to but in my opinion she had more sand in her than any girl I ever see in my opinion she was just full of sand It sounds like flattery but it ain't no flattery And when it comes to beauty and goodness too she lays over them all I hain't ever seen her since that time that I see her go out of that door no I hain't ever seen her since but I reckon I've thought of her a many and a many a million times and of her saying she would pray for me and if ever I'd a thought it would do any good for me to pray for HER blamed if I wouldn't a done it or bust Well Mary Jane she lit out the back way I reckon because nobody see her go When I struck Susan and the hare-lip I says What's the name of them people over on t'other side of the river that you all goes to see sometimes They says There's several but it's the Proctors mainly That's the name I says I most forgot it Well Miss Mary Jane she told me to tell you she's gone over there in a dreadful hurry one of them's sick Which one I don't know leastways I kinder forget but I thinks it's Sakes alive I hope it ain't HANNER I'm sorry to say it I says but Hanner's the very one My goodness and she so well only last week Is she took bad It ain't no name for it They set up with her all night Miss Mary Jane said and they don't think she'll last many hours Only think of that now What's the matter with her I couldn't think of anything reasonable right off that way so I says Mumps Mumps your granny They don't set up with people that's got the mumps They don't don't they You better bet they do with THESE mumps These mumps is different It's a new kind Miss Mary Jane said How's it a new kind Because it's mixed up with other things What other things Well measles and whooping-cough and erysiplas and consumption and yaller janders and brain-fever and I don't know what all My land And they call it the MUMPS That's what Miss Mary Jane said Well what in the nation do they call it the MUMPS for Why because it IS the mumps That's what it starts with Well ther' ain't no sense in it A body might stump his toe and take pison and fall down the well and break his neck and bust his brains out and somebody come along and ask what killed him and some numskull up and say 'Why he stumped his TOE Would ther' be any sense in that NO And ther' ain't no sense in THIS nuther Is it ketching Is it KETCHING Why how you talk Is a HARROW catching in the dark If you don't hitch on to one tooth you're bound to on another ain't you And you can't get away with that tooth without fetching the whole harrow along can you Well these kind of mumps is a kind of a harrow as you may say and it ain't no slouch of a harrow nuther you come to get it hitched on good Well it's awful I think says the hare-lip I'll go to Uncle Harvey and Oh yes I says I WOULD Of COURSE I would I wouldn't lose no time Well why wouldn't you Just look at it a minute and maybe you can see Hain't your uncles obleegd to get along home to England as fast as they can And do you reckon they'd be mean enough to go off and leave you to go all that journey by yourselves YOU know they'll wait for you So fur so good Your uncle Harvey's a preacher ain't he Very well then is a PREACHER going to deceive a steamboat clerk is he going to deceive a SHIP CLERK so as to get them to let Miss Mary Jane go aboard Now YOU know he ain't What WILL he do then Why he'll say 'It's a great pity but my church matters has got to get along the best way they can for my niece has been exposed to the dreadful pluribus-unum mumps and so it's my bounden duty to set down here and wait the three months it takes to show on her if she's got it But never mind if you think it's best to tell your uncle Harvey Shucks and stay fooling around here when we could all be having good times in England whilst we was waiting to find out whether Mary Jane's got it or not Why you talk like a muggins Well anyway maybe you'd better tell some of the neighbors Listen at that now You do beat all for natural stupidness Can't you SEE that THEY'D go and tell Ther' ain't no way but just to not tell anybody at ALL Well maybe you're right yes I judge you ARE right But I reckon we ought to tell Uncle Harvey she's gone out a while anyway so he won't be uneasy about her Yes Miss Mary Jane she wanted you to do that She says 'Tell them to give Uncle Harvey and William my love and a kiss and say I've run over the river to see Mr Mr what IS the name of that rich family your uncle Peter used to think so much of I mean the one that Why you must mean the Apthorps ain't it Of course bother them kind of names a body can't ever seem to remember them half the time somehow Yes she said say she has run over for to ask the Apthorps to be sure and come to the auction and buy this house because she allowed her uncle Peter would ruther they had it than anybody else and she's going to stick to them till they say they'll come and then if she ain't too tired she's coming home and if she is she'll be home in the morning anyway She said don't say nothing about the Proctors but only about the Apthorps which 'll be perfectly true because she is going there to speak about their buying the house I know it because she told me so herself All right they said and cleared out to lay for their uncles and give them the love and the kisses and tell them the message Everything was all right now The girls wouldn't say nothing because they wanted to go to England and the king and the duke would ruther Mary Jane was off working for the auction than around in reach of Doctor Robinson I felt very good I judged I had done it pretty neat I reckoned Tom Sawyer couldn't a done it no neater himself Of course he would a throwed more style into it but I can't do that very handy not being brung up to it Well they held the auction in the public square along towards the end of the afternoon and it strung along and strung along and the old man he was on hand and looking his level pisonest up there longside of the auctioneer and chipping in a little Scripture now and then or a little goody-goody saying of some kind and the duke he was around goo-gooing for sympathy all he knowed how and just spreading himself generly But by and by the thing dragged through and everything was sold everything but a little old trifling lot in the graveyard So they'd got to work that off I never see such a girafft as the king was for wanting to swallow EVERYTHING Well whilst they was at it a steamboat landed and in about two minutes up comes a crowd a-whooping and yelling and laughing and carrying on and singing out HERE'S your opposition line here's your two sets o' heirs to old Peter Wilks and you pays your money and you takes your choice CHAPTER XXIX THEY was fetching a very nice-looking old gentleman along and a nice-looking younger one with his right arm in a sling And my souls how the people yelled and laughed and kept it up But I didn't see no joke about it and I judged it would strain the duke and the king some to see any I reckoned they'd turn pale But no nary a pale did THEY turn The duke he never let on he suspicioned what was up but just went a goo-gooing around happy and satisfied like a jug that's googling out buttermilk and as for the king he just gazed and gazed down sorrowful on them new-comers like it give him the stomach-ache in his very heart to think there could be such frauds and rascals in the world Oh he done it admirable Lots of the principal people gethered around the king to let him see they was on his side That old gentleman that had just come looked all puzzled to death Pretty soon he begun to speak and I see straight off he pronounced LIKE an Englishman not the king's way though the king's WAS pretty good for an imitation I can't give the old gent's words nor I can't imitate him but he turned around to the crowd and says about like this This is a surprise to me which I wasn't looking for and I'll acknowledge candid and frank I ain't very well fixed to meet it and answer it for my brother and me has had misfortunes he's broke his arm and our baggage got put off at a town above here last night in the night by a mistake I am Peter Wilks' brother Harvey and this is his brother William which can't hear nor speak and can't even make signs to amount to much now't he's only got one hand to work them with We are who we say we are and in a day or two when I get the baggage I can prove it But up till then I won't say nothing more but go to the hotel and wait So him and the new dummy started off and the king he laughs and blethers out Broke his arm VERY likely AIN'T it and very convenient too for a fraud that's got to make signs and ain't learnt how Lost their baggage That's MIGHTY good and mighty ingenious under the CIRCUMSTANCES So he laughed again and so did everybody else except three or four or maybe half a dozen One of these was that doctor another one was a sharp-looking gentleman with a carpet-bag of the old-fashioned kind made out of carpet-stuff that had just come off of the steamboat and was talking to him in a low voice and glancing towards the king now and then and nodding their heads it was Levi Bell the lawyer that was gone up to Louisville and another one was a big rough husky that come along and listened to all the old gentleman said and was listening to the king now And when the king got done this husky up and says Say looky here if you are Harvey Wilks when'd you come to this town The day before the funeral friend says the king But what time o' day In the evenin' 'bout an hour er two before sundown HOW'D you come I come down on the Susan Powell from Cincinnati Well then how'd you come to be up at the Pint in the MORNIN' in a canoe I warn't up at the Pint in the mornin' It's a lie Several of them jumped for him and begged him not to talk that way to an old man and a preacher Preacher be hanged he's a fraud and a liar He was up at the Pint that mornin' I live up there don't I Well I was up there and he was up there I see him there He come in a canoe along with Tim Collins and a boy The doctor he up and says Would you know the boy again if you was to see him Hines I reckon I would but I don't know Why yonder he is now I know him perfectly easy It was me he pointed at The doctor says Neighbors I don't know whether the new couple is frauds or not but if THESE two ain't frauds I am an idiot that's all I think it's our duty to see that they don't get away from here till we've looked into this thing Come along Hines come along the rest of you We'll take these fellows to the tavern and affront them with t'other couple and I reckon we'll find out SOMETHING before we get through It was nuts for the crowd though maybe not for the king's friends so we all started It was about sundown The doctor he led me along by the hand and was plenty kind enough but he never let go my hand We all got in a big room in the hotel and lit up some candles and fetched in the new couple First the doctor says I don't wish to be too hard on these two men but I think they're frauds and they may have complices that we don't know nothing about If they have won't the complices get away with that bag of gold Peter Wilks left It ain't unlikely If these men ain't frauds they won't object to sending for that money and letting us keep it till they prove they're all right ain't that so Everybody agreed to that So I judged they had our gang in a pretty tight place right at the outstart But the king he only looked sorrowful and says Gentlemen I wish the money was there for I ain't got no disposition to throw anything in the way of a fair open out-and-out investigation o' this misable business but alas the money ain't there you k'n send and see if you want to Where is it then Well when my niece give it to me to keep for her I took and hid it inside o' the straw tick o' my bed not wishin' to bank it for the few days we'd be here and considerin' the bed a safe place we not bein' used to niggers and suppos'n' 'em honest like servants in England The niggers stole it the very next mornin' after I had went down stairs and when I sold 'em I hadn't missed the money yit so they got clean away with it My servant here k'n tell you 'bout it gentlemen The doctor and several said Shucks and I see nobody didn't altogether believe him One man asked me if I see the niggers steal it I said no but I see them sneaking out of the room and hustling away and I never thought nothing only I reckoned they was afraid they had waked up my master and was trying to get away before he made trouble with them That was all they asked me Then the doctor whirls on me and says Are YOU English too I says yes and him and some others laughed and said Stuff Well then they sailed in on the general investigation and there we had it up and down hour in hour out and nobody never said a word about supper nor ever seemed to think about it and so they kept it up and kept it up and it WAS the worst mixed-up thing you ever see They made the king tell his yarn and they made the old gentleman tell his'n and anybody but a lot of prejudiced chuckleheads would a SEEN that the old gentleman was spinning truth and t'other one lies And by and by they had me up to tell what I knowed The king he give me a left-handed look out of the corner of his eye and so I knowed enough to talk on the right side I begun to tell about Sheffield and how we lived there and all about the English Wilkses and so on but I didn't get pretty fur till the doctor begun to laugh and Levi Bell the lawyer says Set down my boy I wouldn't strain myself if I was you I reckon you ain't used to lying it don't seem to come handy what you want is practice You do it pretty awkward I didn't care nothing for the compliment but I was glad to be let off anyway The doctor he started to say something and turns and says If you'd been in town at first Levi Bell The king broke in and reached out his hand and says Why is this my poor dead brother's old friend that he's wrote so often about The lawyer and him shook hands and the lawyer smiled and looked pleased and they talked right along awhile and then got to one side and talked low and at last the lawyer speaks up and says That 'll fix it I'll take the order and send it along with your brother's and then they'll know it's all right So they got some paper and a pen and the king he set down and twisted his head to one side and chawed his tongue and scrawled off something and then they give the pen to the duke and then for the first time the duke looked sick But he took the pen and wrote So then the lawyer turns to the new old gentleman and says You and your brother please write a line or two and sign your names The old gentleman wrote but nobody couldn't read it The lawyer looked powerful astonished and says Well it beats ME and snaked a lot of old letters out of his pocket and examined them and then examined the old man's writing and then THEM again and then says These old letters is from Harvey Wilks and here's THESE two handwritings and anybody can see they didn't write them the king and the duke looked sold and foolish I tell you to see how the lawyer had took them in and here's THIS old gentleman's hand writing and anybody can tell easy enough HE didn't write them fact is the scratches he makes ain't properly WRITING at all Now here's some letters from The new old gentleman says If you please let me explain Nobody can read my hand but my brother there so he copies for me It's HIS hand you've got there not mine WELL says the lawyer this IS a state of things I've got some of William's letters too so if you'll get him to write a line or so we can com He CAN'T write with his left hand says the old gentleman If he could use his right hand you would see that he wrote his own letters and mine too Look at both please they're by the same hand The lawyer done it and says I believe it's so and if it ain't so there's a heap stronger resemblance than I'd noticed before anyway Well well well I thought we was right on the track of a solution but it's gone to grass partly But anyway one thing is proved THESE two ain't either of 'em Wilkses and he wagged his head towards the king and the duke Well what do you think That muleheaded old fool wouldn't give in THEN Indeed he wouldn't Said it warn't no fair test Said his brother William was the cussedest joker in the world and hadn't tried to write HE see William was going to play one of his jokes the minute he put the pen to paper And so he warmed up and went warbling right along till he was actuly beginning to believe what he was saying HIMSELF but pretty soon the new gentleman broke in and says I've thought of something Is there anybody here that helped to lay out my br helped to lay out the late Peter Wilks for burying Yes says somebody me and Ab Turner done it We're both here Then the old man turns towards the king and says Perhaps this gentleman can tell me what was tattooed on his breast Blamed if the king didn't have to brace up mighty quick or he'd a squshed down like a bluff bank that the river has cut under it took him so sudden and mind you it was a thing that was calculated to make most ANYBODY sqush to get fetched such a solid one as that without any notice because how was HE going to know what was tattooed on the man He whitened a little he couldn't help it and it was mighty still in there and everybody bending a little forwards and gazing at him Says I to myself NOW he'll throw up the sponge there ain't no more use Well did he A body can't hardly believe it but he didn't I reckon he thought he'd keep the thing up till he tired them people out so they'd thin out and him and the duke could break loose and get away Anyway he set there and pretty soon he begun to smile and says Mf It's a VERY tough question AIN'T it YES sir I k'n tell you what's tattooed on his breast It's jest a small thin blue arrow that's what it is and if you don't look clost you can't see it NOW what do you say hey Well I never see anything like that old blister for clean out-and-out cheek The new old gentleman turns brisk towards Ab Turner and his pard and his eye lights up like he judged he'd got the king THIS time and says There you've heard what he said Was there any such mark on Peter Wilks' breast Both of them spoke up and says We didn't see no such mark Good says the old gentleman Now what you DID see on his breast was a small dim P and a B which is an initial he dropped when he was young and a W with dashes between them so P B W and he marked them that way on a piece of paper Come ain't that what you saw Both of them spoke up again and says No we DIDN'T We never seen any marks at all Well everybody WAS in a state of mind now and they sings out The whole BILIN' of 'm 's frauds Le's duck 'em le's drown 'em le's ride 'em on a rail and everybody was whooping at once and there was a rattling powwow But the lawyer he jumps on the table and yells and says Gentlemen gentleMEN Hear me just a word just a SINGLE word if you PLEASE There's one way yet let's go and dig up the corpse and look That took them Hooray they all shouted and was starting right off but the lawyer and the doctor sung out Hold on hold on Collar all these four men and the boy and fetch THEM along too We'll do it they all shouted and if we don't find them marks we'll lynch the whole gang I WAS scared now I tell you But there warn't no getting away you know They gripped us all and marched us right along straight for the graveyard which was a mile and a half down the river and the whole town at our heels for we made noise enough and it was only nine in the evening As we went by our house I wished I hadn't sent Mary Jane out of town because now if I could tip her the wink she'd light out and save me and blow on our dead-beats Well we swarmed along down the river road just carrying on like wildcats and to make it more scary the sky was darking up and the lightning beginning to wink and flitter and the wind to shiver amongst the leaves This was the most awful trouble and most dangersome I ever was in and I was kinder stunned everything was going so different from what I had allowed for stead of being fixed so I could take my own time if I wanted to and see all the fun and have Mary Jane at my back to save me and set me free when the close-fit come here was nothing in the world betwixt me and sudden death but just them tattoo-marks If they didn't find them I couldn't bear to think about it and yet somehow I couldn't think about nothing else It got darker and darker and it was a beautiful time to give the crowd the slip but that big husky had me by the wrist Hines and a body might as well try to give Goliar the slip He dragged me right along he was so excited and I had to run to keep up When they got there they swarmed into the graveyard and washed over it like an overflow And when they got to the grave they found they had about a hundred times as many shovels as they wanted but nobody hadn't thought to fetch a lantern But they sailed into digging anyway by the flicker of the lightning and sent a man to the nearest house a half a mile off to borrow one So they dug and dug like everything and it got awful dark and the rain started and the wind swished and swushed along and the lightning come brisker and brisker and the thunder boomed but them people never took no notice of it they was so full of this business and one minute you could see everything and every face in that big crowd and the shovelfuls of dirt sailing up out of the grave and the next second the dark wiped it all out and you couldn't see nothing at all At last they got out the coffin and begun to unscrew the lid and then such another crowding and shouldering and shoving as there was to scrouge in and get a sight you never see and in the dark that way it was awful Hines he hurt my wrist dreadful pulling and tugging so and I reckon he clean forgot I was in the world he was so excited and panting All of a sudden the lightning let go a perfect sluice of white glare and somebody sings out By the living jingo here's the bag of gold on his breast Hines let out a whoop like everybody else and dropped my wrist and give a big surge to bust his way in and get a look and the way I lit out and shinned for the road in the dark there ain't nobody can tell I had the road all to myself and I fairly flew leastways I had it all to myself except the solid dark and the now-and-then glares and the buzzing of the rain and the thrashing of the wind and the splitting of the thunder and sure as you are born I did clip it along When I struck the town I see there warn't nobody out in the storm so I never hunted for no back streets but humped it straight through the main one and when I begun to get towards our house I aimed my eye and set it No light there the house all dark which made me feel sorry and disappointed I didn't know why But at last just as I was sailing by FLASH comes the light in Mary Jane's window and my heart swelled up sudden like to bust and the same second the house and all was behind me in the dark and wasn't ever going to be before me no more in this world She WAS the best girl I ever see and had the most sand The minute I was far enough above the town to see I could make the towhead I begun to look sharp for a boat to borrow and the first time the lightning showed me one that wasn't chained I snatched it and shoved It was a canoe and warn't fastened with nothing but a rope The towhead was a rattling big distance off away out there in the middle of the river but I didn't lose no time and when I struck the raft at last I was so fagged I would a just laid down to blow and gasp if I could afforded it But I didn't As I sprung aboard I sung out Out with you Jim and set her loose Glory be to goodness we're shut of them Jim lit out and was a-coming for me with both arms spread he was so full of joy but when I glimpsed him in the lightning my heart shot up in my mouth and I went overboard backwards for I forgot he was old King Lear and a drownded A-rab all in one and it most scared the livers and lights out of me But Jim fished me out and was going to hug me and bless me and so on he was so glad I was back and we was shut of the king and the duke but I says Not now have it for breakfast have it for breakfast Cut loose and let her slide So in two seconds away we went a-sliding down the river and it DID seem so good to be free again and all by ourselves on the big river and nobody to bother us I had to skip around a bit and jump up and crack my heels a few times I couldn't help it but about the third crack I noticed a sound that I knowed mighty well and held my breath and listened and waited and sure enough when the next flash busted out over the water here they come and just a-laying to their oars and making their skiff hum It was the king and the duke So I wilted right down on to the planks then and give up and it was all I could do to keep from crying CHAPTER XXX WHEN they got aboard the king went for me and shook me by the collar and says Tryin' to give us the slip was ye you pup Tired of our company hey I says No your majesty we warn't PLEASE don't your majesty Quick then and tell us what WAS your idea or I'll shake the insides out o' you Honest I'll tell you everything just as it happened your majesty The man that had a-holt of me was very good to me and kept saying he had a boy about as big as me that died last year and he was sorry to see a boy in such a dangerous fix and when they was all took by surprise by finding the gold and made a rush for the coffin he lets go of me and whispers 'Heel it now or they'll hang ye sure and I lit out It didn't seem no good for ME to stay I couldn't do nothing and I didn't want to be hung if I could get away So I never stopped running till I found the canoe and when I got here I told Jim to hurry or they'd catch me and hang me yet and said I was afeard you and the duke wasn't alive now and I was awful sorry and so was Jim and was awful glad when we see you coming you may ask Jim if I didn't Jim said it was so and the king told him to shut up and said Oh yes it's MIGHTY likely and shook me up again and said he reckoned he'd drownd me But the duke says Leggo the boy you old idiot Would YOU a done any different Did you inquire around for HIM when you got loose I don't remember it So the king let go of me and begun to cuss that town and everybody in it But the duke says You better a blame' sight give YOURSELF a good cussing for you're the one that's entitled to it most You hain't done a thing from the start that had any sense in it except coming out so cool and cheeky with that imaginary blue-arrow mark That WAS bright it was right down bully and it was the thing that saved us For if it hadn't been for that they'd a jailed us till them Englishmen's baggage come and then the penitentiary you bet But that trick took 'em to the graveyard and the gold done us a still bigger kindness for if the excited fools hadn't let go all holts and made that rush to get a look we'd a slept in our cravats to-night cravats warranted to WEAR too longer than WE'D need 'em They was still a minute thinking then the king says kind of absent-minded like Mf And we reckoned the NIGGERS stole it That made me squirm Yes says the duke kinder slow and deliberate and sarcastic WE did After about a half a minute the king drawls out Leastways I did The duke says the same way On the contrary I did The king kind of ruffles up and says Looky here Bilgewater what'r you referrin' to The duke says pretty brisk When it comes to that maybe you'll let me ask what was YOU referring to Shucks says the king very sarcastic but I don't know maybe you was asleep and didn't know what you was about The duke bristles up now and says Oh let UP on this cussed nonsense do you take me for a blame' fool Don't you reckon I know who hid that money in that coffin YES sir I know you DO know because you done it yourself It's a lie and the duke went for him The king sings out Take y'r hands off leggo my throat I take it all back The duke says Well you just own up first that you DID hide that money there intending to give me the slip one of these days and come back and dig it up and have it all to yourself Wait jest a minute duke answer me this one question honest and fair if you didn't put the money there say it and I'll b'lieve you and take back everything I said You old scoundrel I didn't and you know I didn't There now Well then I b'lieve you But answer me only jest this one more now DON'T git mad didn't you have it in your mind to hook the money and hide it The duke never said nothing for a little bit then he says Well I don't care if I DID I didn't DO it anyway But you not only had it in mind to do it but you DONE it I wisht I never die if I done it duke and that's honest I won't say I warn't goin' to do it because I WAS but you I mean somebody got in ahead o' me It's a lie You done it and you got to SAY you done it or The king began to gurgle and then he gasps out 'Nough I OWN UP I was very glad to hear him say that it made me feel much more easier than what I was feeling before So the duke took his hands off and says If you ever deny it again I'll drown you It's WELL for you to set there and blubber like a baby it's fitten for you after the way you've acted I never see such an old ostrich for wanting to gobble everything and I a-trusting you all the time like you was my own father You ought to been ashamed of yourself to stand by and hear it saddled on to a lot of poor niggers and you never say a word for 'em It makes me feel ridiculous to think I was soft enough to BELIEVE that rubbage Cuss you I can see now why you was so anxious to make up the deffisit you wanted to get what money I'd got out of the Nonesuch and one thing or another and scoop it ALL The king says timid and still a-snuffling Why duke it was you that said make up the deffisit it warn't me Dry up I don't want to hear no more out of you says the duke And NOW you see what you GOT by it They've got all their own money back and all of OURN but a shekel or two BESIDES G'long to bed and don't you deffersit ME no more deffersits long 's YOU live So the king sneaked into the wigwam and took to his bottle for comfort and before long the duke tackled HIS bottle and so in about a half an hour they was as thick as thieves again and the tighter they got the lovinger they got and went off a-snoring in each other's arms They both got powerful mellow but I noticed the king didn't get mellow enough to forget to remember to not deny about hiding the money-bag again That made me feel easy and satisfied Of course when they got to snoring we had a long gabble and I told Jim everything CHAPTER XXXI WE dasn't stop again at any town for days and days kept right along down the river We was down south in the warm weather now and a mighty long ways from home We begun to come to trees with Spanish moss on them hanging down from the limbs like long gray beards It was the first I ever see it growing and it made the woods look solemn and dismal So now the frauds reckoned they was out of danger and they begun to work the villages again First they done a lecture on temperance but they didn't make enough for them both to get drunk on Then in another village they started a dancing-school but they didn't know no more how to dance than a kangaroo does so the first prance they made the general public jumped in and pranced them out of town Another time they tried to go at yellocution but they didn't yellocute long till the audience got up and give them a solid good cussing and made them skip out They tackled missionarying and mesmerizing and doctoring and telling fortunes and a little of everything but they couldn't seem to have no luck So at last they got just about dead broke and laid around the raft as she floated along thinking and thinking and never saying nothing by the half a day at a time and dreadful blue and desperate And at last they took a change and begun to lay their heads together in the wigwam and talk low and confidential two or three hours at a time Jim and me got uneasy We didn't like the look of it We judged they was studying up some kind of worse deviltry than ever We turned it over and over and at last we made up our minds they was going to break into somebody's house or store or was going into the counterfeit-money business or something So then we was pretty scared and made up an agreement that we wouldn't have nothing in the world to do with such actions and if we ever got the least show we would give them the cold shake and clear out and leave them behind Well early one morning we hid the raft in a good safe place about two mile below a little bit of a shabby village named Pikesville and the king he went ashore and told us all to stay hid whilst he went up to town and smelt around to see if anybody had got any wind of the Royal Nonesuch there yet House to rob you MEAN says I to myself and when you get through robbing it you'll come back here and wonder what has become of me and Jim and the raft and you'll have to take it out in wondering And he said if he warn't back by midday the duke and me would know it was all right and we was to come along So we stayed where we was The duke he fretted and sweated around and was in a mighty sour way He scolded us for everything and we couldn't seem to do nothing right he found fault with every little thing Something was a-brewing sure I was good and glad when midday come and no king we could have a change anyway and maybe a chance for THE chance on top of it So me and the duke went up to the village and hunted around there for the king and by and by we found him in the back room of a little low doggery very tight and a lot of loafers bullyragging him for sport and he a-cussing and a-threatening with all his might and so tight he couldn't walk and couldn't do nothing to them The duke he begun to abuse him for an old fool and the king begun to sass back and the minute they was fairly at it I lit out and shook the reefs out of my hind legs and spun down the river road like a deer for I see our chance and I made up my mind that it would be a long day before they ever see me and Jim again I got down there all out of breath but loaded up with joy and sung out Set her loose Jim we're all right now But there warn't no answer and nobody come out of the wigwam Jim was gone I set up a shout and then another and then another one and run this way and that in the woods whooping and screeching but it warn't no use old Jim was gone Then I set down and cried I couldn't help it But I couldn't set still long Pretty soon I went out on the road trying to think what I better do and I run across a boy walking and asked him if he'd seen a strange nigger dressed so and so and he says Yes Whereabouts says I Down to Silas Phelps' place two mile below here He's a runaway nigger and they've got him Was you looking for him You bet I ain't I run across him in the woods about an hour or two ago and he said if I hollered he'd cut my livers out and told me to lay down and stay where I was and I done it Been there ever since afeard to come out Well he says you needn't be afeard no more becuz they've got him He run off f'm down South som'ers It's a good job they got him Well I RECKON There's two hunderd dollars reward on him It's like picking up money out'n the road Yes it is and I could a had it if I'd been big enough I see him FIRST Who nailed him It was an old fellow a stranger and he sold out his chance in him for forty dollars becuz he's got to go up the river and can't wait Think o' that now You bet I'D wait if it was seven year That's me every time says I But maybe his chance ain't worth no more than that if he'll sell it so cheap Maybe there's something ain't straight about it But it IS though straight as a string I see the handbill myself It tells all about him to a dot paints him like a picture and tells the plantation he's frum below NewrLEANS No-sirree-BOB they ain't no trouble 'bout THAT speculation you bet you Say gimme a chaw tobacker won't ye I didn't have none so he left I went to the raft and set down in the wigwam to think But I couldn't come to nothing I thought till I wore my head sore but I couldn't see no way out of the trouble After all this long journey and after all we'd done for them scoundrels here it was all come to nothing everything all busted up and ruined because they could have the heart to serve Jim such a trick as that and make him a slave again all his life and amongst strangers too for forty dirty dollars Once I said to myself it would be a thousand times better for Jim to be a slave at home where his family was as long as he'd GOT to be a slave and so I'd better write a letter to Tom Sawyer and tell him to tell Miss Watson where he was But I soon give up that notion for two things she'd be mad and disgusted at his rascality and ungratefulness for leaving her and so she'd sell him straight down the river again and if she didn't everybody naturally despises an ungrateful nigger and they'd make Jim feel it all the time and so he'd feel ornery and disgraced And then think of ME It would get all around that Huck Finn helped a nigger to get his freedom and if I was ever to see anybody from that town again I'd be ready to get down and lick his boots for shame That's just the way a person does a low-down thing and then he don't want to take no consequences of it Thinks as long as he can hide it ain't no disgrace That was my fix exactly The more I studied about this the more my conscience went to grinding me and the more wicked and low-down and ornery I got to feeling And at last when it hit me all of a sudden that here was the plain hand of Providence slapping me in the face and letting me know my wickedness was being watched all the time from up there in heaven whilst I was stealing a poor old woman's nigger that hadn't ever done me no harm and now was showing me there's One that's always on the lookout and ain't a-going to allow no such miserable doings to go only just so fur and no further I most dropped in my tracks I was so scared Well I tried the best I could to kinder soften it up somehow for myself by saying I was brung up wicked and so I warn't so much to blame but something inside of me kept saying There was the Sunday-school you could a gone to it and if you'd a done it they'd a learnt you there that people that acts as I'd been acting about that nigger goes to everlasting fire It made me shiver And I about made up my mind to pray and see if I couldn't try to quit being the kind of a boy I was and be better So I kneeled down But the words wouldn't come Why wouldn't they It warn't no use to try and hide it from Him Nor from ME neither I knowed very well why they wouldn't come It was because my heart warn't right it was because I warn't square it was because I was playing double I was letting ON to give up sin but away inside of me I was holding on to the biggest one of all I was trying to make my mouth SAY I would do the right thing and the clean thing and go and write to that nigger's owner and tell where he was but deep down in me I knowed it was a lie and He knowed it You can't pray a lie I found that out So I was full of trouble full as I could be and didn't know what to do At last I had an idea and I says I'll go and write the letter and then see if I can pray Why it was astonishing the way I felt as light as a feather right straight off and my troubles all gone So I got a piece of paper and a pencil all glad and excited and set down and wrote Miss Watson your runaway nigger Jim is down here two mile below Pikesville and Mr Phelps has got him and he will give him up for the reward if you send HUCK FINN I felt good and all washed clean of sin for the first time I had ever felt so in my life and I knowed I could pray now But I didn't do it straight off but laid the paper down and set there thinking thinking how good it was all this happened so and how near I come to being lost and going to hell And went on thinking And got to thinking over our trip down the river and I see Jim before me all the time in the day and in the night-time sometimes moonlight sometimes storms and we a-floating along talking and singing and laughing But somehow I couldn't seem to strike no places to harden me against him but only the other kind I'd see him standing my watch on top of his'n 'stead of calling me so I could go on sleeping and see him how glad he was when I come back out of the fog and when I come to him again in the swamp up there where the feud was and such-like times and would always call me honey and pet me and do everything he could think of for me and how good he always was and at last I struck the time I saved him by telling the men we had small-pox aboard and he was so grateful and said I was the best friend old Jim ever had in the world and the ONLY one he's got now and then I happened to look around and see that paper It was a close place I took it up and held it in my hand I was a-trembling because I'd got to decide forever betwixt two things and I knowed it I studied a minute sort of holding my breath and then says to myself All right then I'll GO to hell and tore it up It was awful thoughts and awful words but they was said And I let them stay said and never thought no more about reforming I shoved the whole thing out of my head and said I would take up wickedness again which was in my line being brung up to it and the other warn't And for a starter I would go to work and steal Jim out of slavery again and if I could think up anything worse I would do that too because as long as I was in and in for good I might as well go the whole hog Then I set to thinking over how to get at it and turned over some considerable many ways in my mind and at last fixed up a plan that suited me So then I took the bearings of a woody island that was down the river a piece and as soon as it was fairly dark I crept out with my raft and went for it and hid it there and then turned in I slept the night through and got up before it was light and had my breakfast and put on my store clothes and tied up some others and one thing or another in a bundle and took the canoe and cleared for shore I landed below where I judged was Phelps's place and hid my bundle in the woods and then filled up the canoe with water and loaded rocks into her and sunk her where I could find her again when I wanted her about a quarter of a mile below a little steam sawmill that was on the bank Then I struck up the road and when I passed the mill I see a sign on it Phelps's Sawmill and when I come to the farm-houses two or three hundred yards further along I kept my eyes peeled but didn't see nobody around though it was good daylight now But I didn't mind because I didn't want to see nobody just yet I only wanted to get the lay of the land According to my plan I was going to turn up there from the village not from below So I just took a look and shoved along straight for town Well the very first man I see when I got there was the duke He was sticking up a bill for the Royal Nonesuch three-night performance like that other time They had the cheek them frauds I was right on him before I could shirk He looked astonished and says Hel-LO Where'd YOU come from Then he says kind of glad and eager Where's the raft got her in a good place I says Why that's just what I was going to ask your grace Then he didn't look so joyful and says What was your idea for asking ME he says Well I says when I see the king in that doggery yesterday I says to myself we can't get him home for hours till he's soberer so I went a-loafing around town to put in the time and wait A man up and offered me ten cents to help him pull a skiff over the river and back to fetch a sheep and so I went along but when we was dragging him to the boat and the man left me a-holt of the rope and went behind him to shove him along he was too strong for me and jerked loose and run and we after him We didn't have no dog and so we had to chase him all over the country till we tired him out We never got him till dark then we fetched him over and I started down for the raft When I got there and see it was gone I says to myself 'They've got into trouble and had to leave and they've took my nigger which is the only nigger I've got in the world and now I'm in a strange country and ain't got no property no more nor nothing and no way to make my living so I set down and cried I slept in the woods all night But what DID become of the raft then and Jim poor Jim Blamed if I know that is what's become of the raft That old fool had made a trade and got forty dollars and when we found him in the doggery the loafers had matched half-dollars with him and got every cent but what he'd spent for whisky and when I got him home late last night and found the raft gone we said 'That little rascal has stole our raft and shook us and run off down the river I wouldn't shake my NIGGER would I the only nigger I had in the world and the only property We never thought of that Fact is I reckon we'd come to consider him OUR nigger yes we did consider him so goodness knows we had trouble enough for him So when we see the raft was gone and we flat broke there warn't anything for it but to try the Royal Nonesuch another shake And I've pegged along ever since dry as a powder-horn Where's that ten cents Give it here I had considerable money so I give him ten cents but begged him to spend it for something to eat and give me some because it was all the money I had and I hadn't had nothing to eat since yesterday He never said nothing The next minute he whirls on me and says Do you reckon that nigger would blow on us We'd skin him if he done that How can he blow Hain't he run off No That old fool sold him and never divided with me and the money's gone SOLD him I says and begun to cry why he was MY nigger and that was my money Where is he I want my nigger Well you can't GET your nigger that's all so dry up your blubbering Looky here do you think YOU'D venture to blow on us Blamed if I think I'd trust you Why if you WAS to blow on us He stopped but I never see the duke look so ugly out of his eyes before I went on a-whimpering and says I don't want to blow on nobody and I ain't got no time to blow nohow I got to turn out and find my nigger He looked kinder bothered and stood there with his bills fluttering on his arm thinking and wrinkling up his forehead At last he says I'll tell you something We got to be here three days If you'll promise you won't blow and won't let the nigger blow I'll tell you where to find him So I promised and he says A farmer by the name of Silas Ph and then he stopped You see he started to tell me the truth but when he stopped that way and begun to study and think again I reckoned he was changing his mind And so he was He wouldn't trust me he wanted to make sure of having me out of the way the whole three days So pretty soon he says The man that bought him is named Abram Foster Abram G Foster and he lives forty mile back here in the country on the road to Lafayette All right I says I can walk it in three days And I'll start this very afternoon No you wont you'll start NOW and don't you lose any time about it neither nor do any gabbling by the way Just keep a tight tongue in your head and move right along and then you won't get into trouble with US d'ye hear That was the order I wanted and that was the one I played for I wanted to be left free to work my plans So clear out he says and you can tell Mr Foster whatever you want to Maybe you can get him to believe that Jim IS your nigger some idiots don't require documents leastways I've heard there's such down South here And when you tell him the handbill and the reward's bogus maybe he'll believe you when you explain to him what the idea was for getting 'em out Go 'long now and tell him anything you want to but mind you don't work your jaw any BETWEEN here and there So I left and struck for the back country I didn't look around but I kinder felt like he was watching me But I knowed I could tire him out at that I went straight out in the country as much as a mile before I stopped then I doubled back through the woods towards Phelps' I reckoned I better start in on my plan straight off without fooling around because I wanted to stop Jim's mouth till these fellows could get away I didn't want no trouble with their kind I'd seen all I wanted to of them and wanted to get entirely shut of them CHAPTER XXXII WHEN I got there it was all still and Sunday-like and hot and sunshiny the hands was gone to the fields and there was them kind of faint dronings of bugs and flies in the air that makes it seem so lonesome and like everybody's dead and gone and if a breeze fans along and quivers the leaves it makes you feel mournful because you feel like it's spirits whispering spirits that's been dead ever so many years and you always think they're talking about YOU As a general thing it makes a body wish HE was dead too and done with it all Phelps' was one of these little one-horse cotton plantations and they all look alike A rail fence round a two-acre yard a stile made out of logs sawed off and up-ended in steps like barrels of a different length to climb over the fence with and for the women to stand on when they are going to jump on to a horse some sickly grass-patches in the big yard but mostly it was bare and smooth like an old hat with the nap rubbed off big double log-house for the white folks hewed logs with the chinks stopped up with mud or mortar and these mud-stripes been whitewashed some time or another round-log kitchen with a big broad open but roofed passage joining it to the house log smoke-house back of the kitchen three little log nigger-cabins in a row t'other side the smoke-house one little hut all by itself away down against the back fence and some outbuildings down a piece the other side ash-hopper and big kettle to bile soap in by the little hut bench by the kitchen door with bucket of water and a gourd hound asleep there in the sun more hounds asleep round about about three shade trees away off in a corner some currant bushes and gooseberry bushes in one place by the fence outside of the fence a garden and a watermelon patch then the cotton fields begins and after the fields the woods I went around and clumb over the back stile by the ash-hopper and started for the kitchen When I got a little ways I heard the dim hum of a spinning-wheel wailing along up and sinking along down again and then I knowed for certain I wished I was dead for that IS the lonesomest sound in the whole world I went right along not fixing up any particular plan but just trusting to Providence to put the right words in my mouth when the time come for I'd noticed that Providence always did put the right words in my mouth if I left it alone When I got half-way first one hound and then another got up and went for me and of course I stopped and faced them and kept still And such another powwow as they made In a quarter of a minute I was a kind of a hub of a wheel as you may say spokes made out of dogs circle of fifteen of them packed together around me with their necks and noses stretched up towards me a-barking and howling and more a-coming you could see them sailing over fences and around corners from everywheres A nigger woman come tearing out of the kitchen with a rolling-pin in her hand singing out Begone YOU Tige you Spot begone sah and she fetched first one and then another of them a clip and sent them howling and then the rest followed and the next second half of them come back wagging their tails around me and making friends with me There ain't no harm in a hound nohow And behind the woman comes a little nigger girl and two little nigger boys without anything on but tow-linen shirts and they hung on to their mother's gown and peeped out from behind her at me bashful the way they always do And here comes the white woman running from the house about forty-five or fifty year old bareheaded and her spinning-stick in her hand and behind her comes her little white children acting the same way the little niggers was going She was smiling all over so she could hardly stand and says It's YOU at last AIN'T it I out with a Yes'm before I thought She grabbed me and hugged me tight and then gripped me by both hands and shook and shook and the tears come in her eyes and run down over and she couldn't seem to hug and shake enough and kept saying You don't look as much like your mother as I reckoned you would but law sakes I don't care for that I'm so glad to see you Dear dear it does seem like I could eat you up Children it's your cousin Tom tell him howdy But they ducked their heads and put their fingers in their mouths and hid behind her So she run on Lize hurry up and get him a hot breakfast right away or did you get your breakfast on the boat I said I had got it on the boat So then she started for the house leading me by the hand and the children tagging after When we got there she set me down in a split-bottomed chair and set herself down on a little low stool in front of me holding both of my hands and says Now I can have a GOOD look at you and laws-a-me I've been hungry for it a many and a many a time all these long years and it's come at last We been expecting you a couple of days and more What kep' you boat get aground Yes'm she Don't say yes'm say Aunt Sally Where'd she get aground I didn't rightly know what to say because I didn't know whether the boat would be coming up the river or down But I go a good deal on instinct and my instinct said she would be coming up from down towards Orleans That didn't help me much though for I didn't know the names of bars down that way I see I'd got to invent a bar or forget the name of the one we got aground on or Now I struck an idea and fetched it out It warn't the grounding that didn't keep us back but a little We blowed out a cylinder-head Good gracious anybody hurt No'm Killed a nigger Well it's lucky because sometimes people do get hurt Two years ago last Christmas your uncle Silas was coming up from Newrleans on the old Lally Rook and she blowed out a cylinder-head and crippled a man And I think he died afterwards He was a Baptist Your uncle Silas knowed a family in Baton Rouge that knowed his people very well Yes I remember now he DID die Mortification set in and they had to amputate him But it didn't save him Yes it was mortification that was it He turned blue all over and died in the hope of a glorious resurrection They say he was a sight to look at Your uncle's been up to the town every day to fetch you And he's gone again not more'n an hour ago he'll be back any minute now You must a met him on the road didn't you oldish man with a No I didn't see nobody Aunt Sally The boat landed just at daylight and I left my baggage on the wharf-boat and went looking around the town and out a piece in the country to put in the time and not get here too soon and so I come down the back way Who'd you give the baggage to Nobody Why child it 'll be stole Not where I hid it I reckon it won't I says How'd you get your breakfast so early on the boat It was kinder thin ice but I says The captain see me standing around and told me I better have something to eat before I went ashore so he took me in the texas to the officers' lunch and give me all I wanted I was getting so uneasy I couldn't listen good I had my mind on the children all the time I wanted to get them out to one side and pump them a little and find out who I was But I couldn't get no show Mrs Phelps kept it up and run on so Pretty soon she made the cold chills streak all down my back because she says But here we're a-running on this way and you hain't told me a word about Sis nor any of them Now I'll rest my works a little and you start up yourn just tell me EVERYTHING tell me all about 'm all every one of 'm and how they are and what they're doing and what they told you to tell me and every last thing you can think of Well I see I was up a stump and up it good Providence had stood by me this fur all right but I was hard and tight aground now I see it warn't a bit of use to try to go ahead I'd got to throw up my hand So I says to myself here's another place where I got to resk the truth I opened my mouth to begin but she grabbed me and hustled me in behind the bed and says Here he comes Stick your head down lower there that'll do you can't be seen now Don't you let on you're here I'll play a joke on him Children don't you say a word I see I was in a fix now But it warn't no use to worry there warn't nothing to do but just hold still and try and be ready to stand from under when the lightning struck I had just one little glimpse of the old gentleman when he come in then the bed hid him Mrs Phelps she jumps for him and says Has he come No says her husband Good-NESS gracious she says what in the warld can have become of him I can't imagine says the old gentleman and I must say it makes me dreadful uneasy Uneasy she says I'm ready to go distracted He MUST a come and you've missed him along the road I KNOW it's so something tells me so Why Sally I COULDN'T miss him along the road YOU know that But oh dear dear what WILL Sis say He must a come You must a missed him He Oh don't distress me any more'n I'm already distressed I don't know what in the world to make of it I'm at my wit's end and I don't mind acknowledging 't I'm right down scared But there's no hope that he's come for he COULDN'T come and me miss him Sally it's terrible just terrible something's happened to the boat sure Why Silas Look yonder up the road ain't that somebody coming He sprung to the window at the head of the bed and that give Mrs Phelps the chance she wanted She stooped down quick at the foot of the bed and give me a pull and out I come and when he turned back from the window there she stood a-beaming and a-smiling like a house afire and I standing pretty meek and sweaty alongside The old gentleman stared and says Why who's that Who do you reckon 't is I hain't no idea Who IS it It's TOM SAWYER By jings I most slumped through the floor But there warn't no time to swap knives the old man grabbed me by the hand and shook and kept on shaking and all the time how the woman did dance around and laugh and cry and then how they both did fire off questions about Sid and Mary and the rest of the tribe But if they was joyful it warn't nothing to what I was for it was like being born again I was so glad to find out who I was Well they froze to me for two hours and at last when my chin was so tired it couldn't hardly go any more I had told them more about my family I mean the Sawyer family than ever happened to any six Sawyer families And I explained all about how we blowed out a cylinder-head at the mouth of White River and it took us three days to fix it Which was all right and worked first-rate because THEY didn't know but what it would take three days to fix it If I'd a called it a bolthead it would a done just as well Now I was feeling pretty comfortable all down one side and pretty uncomfortable all up the other Being Tom Sawyer was easy and comfortable and it stayed easy and comfortable till by and by I hear a steamboat coughing along down the river Then I says to myself s'pose Tom Sawyer comes down on that boat And s'pose he steps in here any minute and sings out my name before I can throw him a wink to keep quiet Well I couldn't HAVE it that way it wouldn't do at all I must go up the road and waylay him So I told the folks I reckoned I would go up to the town and fetch down my baggage The old gentleman was for going along with me but I said no I could drive the horse myself and I druther he wouldn't take no trouble about me CHAPTER XXXIII SO I started for town in the wagon and when I was half-way I see a wagon coming and sure enough it was Tom Sawyer and I stopped and waited till he come along I says Hold on and it stopped alongside and his mouth opened up like a trunk and stayed so and he swallowed two or three times like a person that's got a dry throat and then says I hain't ever done you no harm You know that So then what you want to come back and ha'nt ME for I says I hain't come back I hain't been GONE When he heard my voice it righted him up some but he warn't quite satisfied yet He says Don't you play nothing on me because I wouldn't on you Honest injun you ain't a ghost Honest injun I ain't I says Well I I well that ought to settle it of course but I can't somehow seem to understand it no way Looky here warn't you ever murdered AT ALL No I warn't ever murdered at all I played it on them You come in here and feel of me if you don't believe me So he done it and it satisfied him and he was that glad to see me again he didn't know what to do And he wanted to know all about it right off because it was a grand adventure and mysterious and so it hit him where he lived But I said leave it alone till by and by and told his driver to wait and we drove off a little piece and I told him the kind of a fix I was in and what did he reckon we better do He said let him alone a minute and don't disturb him So he thought and thought and pretty soon he says It's all right I've got it Take my trunk in your wagon and let on it's your'n and you turn back and fool along slow so as to get to the house about the time you ought to and I'll go towards town a piece and take a fresh start and get there a quarter or a half an hour after you and you needn't let on to know me at first I says All right but wait a minute There's one more thing a thing that NOBODY don't know but me And that is there's a nigger here that I'm a-trying to steal out of slavery and his name is JIM old Miss Watson's Jim He says What Why Jim is He stopped and went to studying I says I know what you'll say You'll say it's dirty low-down business but what if it is I'm low down and I'm a-going to steal him and I want you keep mum and not let on Will you His eye lit up and he says I'll HELP you steal him Well I let go all holts then like I was shot It was the most astonishing speech I ever heard and I'm bound to say Tom Sawyer fell considerable in my estimation Only I couldn't believe it Tom Sawyer a NIGGER-STEALER Oh shucks I says you're joking I ain't joking either Well then I says joking or no joking if you hear anything said about a runaway nigger don't forget to remember that YOU don't know nothing about him and I don't know nothing about him Then we took the trunk and put it in my wagon and he drove off his way and I drove mine But of course I forgot all about driving slow on accounts of being glad and full of thinking so I got home a heap too quick for that length of a trip The old gentleman was at the door and he says Why this is wonderful Whoever would a thought it was in that mare to do it I wish we'd a timed her And she hain't sweated a hair not a hair It's wonderful Why I wouldn't take a hundred dollars for that horse now I wouldn't honest and yet I'd a sold her for fifteen before and thought 'twas all she was worth That's all he said He was the innocentest best old soul I ever see But it warn't surprising because he warn't only just a farmer he was a preacher too and had a little one-horse log church down back of the plantation which he built it himself at his own expense for a church and schoolhouse and never charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too There was plenty other farmer-preachers like that and done the same way down South In about half an hour Tom's wagon drove up to the front stile and Aunt Sally she see it through the window because it was only about fifty yards and says Why there's somebody come I wonder who 'tis Why I do believe it's a stranger Jimmy that's one of the children run and tell Lize to put on another plate for dinner Everybody made a rush for the front door because of course a stranger don't come EVERY year and so he lays over the yaller-fever for interest when he does come Tom was over the stile and starting for the house the wagon was spinning up the road for the village and we was all bunched in the front door Tom had his store clothes on and an audience and that was always nuts for Tom Sawyer In them circumstances it warn't no trouble to him to throw in an amount of style that was suitable He warn't a boy to meeky along up that yard like a sheep no he come ca'm and important like the ram When he got a-front of us he lifts his hat ever so gracious and dainty like it was the lid of a box that had butterflies asleep in it and he didn't want to disturb them and says Mr Archibald Nichols I presume No my boy says the old gentleman I'm sorry to say 't your driver has deceived you Nichols's place is down a matter of three mile more Come in come in Tom he took a look back over his shoulder and says Too late he's out of sight Yes he's gone my son and you must come in and eat your dinner with us and then we'll hitch up and take you down to Nichols's Oh I CAN'T make you so much trouble I couldn't think of it I'll walk I don't mind the distance But we won't LET you walk it wouldn't be Southern hospitality to do it Come right in Oh DO says Aunt Sally it ain't a bit of trouble to us not a bit in the world You must stay It's a long dusty three mile and we can't let you walk And besides I've already told 'em to put on another plate when I see you coming so you mustn't disappoint us Come right in and make yourself at home So Tom he thanked them very hearty and handsome and let himself be persuaded and come in and when he was in he said he was a stranger from Hicksville Ohio and his name was William Thompson and he made another bow Well he run on and on and on making up stuff about Hicksville and everybody in it he could invent and I getting a little nervious and wondering how this was going to help me out of my scrape and at last still talking along he reached over and kissed Aunt Sally right on the mouth and then settled back again in his chair comfortable and was going on talking but she jumped up and wiped it off with the back of her hand and says You owdacious puppy He looked kind of hurt and says I'm surprised at you m'am You're s'rp Why what do you reckon I am I've a good notion to take and Say what do you mean by kissing me He looked kind of humble and says I didn't mean nothing m'am I didn't mean no harm I I thought you'd like it Why you born fool She took up the spinning stick and it looked like it was all she could do to keep from giving him a crack with it What made you think I'd like it Well I don't know Only they they told me you would THEY told you I would Whoever told you's ANOTHER lunatic I never heard the beat of it Who's THEY Why everybody They all said so m'am It was all she could do to hold in and her eyes snapped and her fingers worked like she wanted to scratch him and she says Who's 'everybody' Out with their names or ther'll be an idiot short He got up and looked distressed and fumbled his hat and says I'm sorry and I warn't expecting it They told me to They all told me to They all said kiss her and said she'd like it They all said it every one of them But I'm sorry m'am and I won't do it no more I won't honest You won't won't you Well I sh'd RECKON you won't No'm I'm honest about it I won't ever do it again till you ask me Till I ASK you Well I never see the beat of it in my born days I lay you'll be the Methusalem-numskull of creation before ever I ask you or the likes of you Well he says it does surprise me so I can't make it out somehow They said you would and I thought you would But He stopped and looked around slow like he wished he could run across a friendly eye somewheres and fetched up on the old gentleman's and says Didn't YOU think she'd like me to kiss her sir Why no I I well no I b'lieve I didn't Then he looks on around the same way to me and says Tom didn't YOU think Aunt Sally 'd open out her arms and say 'Sid Sawyer My she says breaking in and jumping for him you impudent young rascal to fool a body so and was going to hug him but he fended her off and says No not till you've asked me first So she didn't lose no time but asked him and hugged him and kissed him over and over again and then turned him over to the old man and he took what was left And after they got a little quiet again she says Why dear me I never see such a surprise We warn't looking for YOU at all but only Tom Sis never wrote to me about anybody coming but him It's because it warn't INTENDED for any of us to come but Tom he says but I begged and begged and at the last minute she let me come too so coming down the river me and Tom thought it would be a first-rate surprise for him to come here to the house first and for me to by and by tag along and drop in and let on to be a stranger But it was a mistake Aunt Sally This ain't no healthy place for a stranger to come No not impudent whelps Sid You ought to had your jaws boxed I hain't been so put out since I don't know when But I don't care I don't mind the terms I'd be willing to stand a thousand such jokes to have you here Well to think of that performance I don't deny it I was most putrified with astonishment when you give me that smack We had dinner out in that broad open passage betwixt the house and the kitchen and there was things enough on that table for seven families and all hot too none of your flabby tough meat that's laid in a cupboard in a damp cellar all night and tastes like a hunk of old cold cannibal in the morning Uncle Silas he asked a pretty long blessing over it but it was worth it and it didn't cool it a bit neither the way I've seen them kind of interruptions do lots of times There was a considerable good deal of talk all the afternoon and me and Tom was on the lookout all the time but it warn't no use they didn't happen to say nothing about any runaway nigger and we was afraid to try to work up to it But at supper at night one of the little boys says Pa mayn't Tom and Sid and me go to the show No says the old man I reckon there ain't going to be any and you couldn't go if there was because the runaway nigger told Burton and me all about that scandalous show and Burton said he would tell the people so I reckon they've drove the owdacious loafers out of town before this time So there it was but I couldn't help it Tom and me was to sleep in the same room and bed so being tired we bid good-night and went up to bed right after supper and clumb out of the window and down the lightning-rod and shoved for the town for I didn't believe anybody was going to give the king and the duke a hint and so if I didn't hurry up and give them one they'd get into trouble sure On the road Tom he told me all about how it was reckoned I was murdered and how pap disappeared pretty soon and didn't come back no more and what a stir there was when Jim run away and I told Tom all about our Royal Nonesuch rapscallions and as much of the raft voyage as I had time to and as we struck into the town and up through the here comes a raging rush of people with torches and an awful whooping and yelling and banging tin pans and blowing horns and we jumped to one side to let them go by and as they went by I see they had the king and the duke astraddle of a rail that is I knowed it WAS the king and the duke though they was all over tar and feathers and didn't look like nothing in the world that was human just looked like a couple of monstrous big soldier-plumes Well it made me sick to see it and I was sorry for them poor pitiful rascals it seemed like I couldn't ever feel any hardness against them any more in the world It was a dreadful thing to see Human beings CAN be awful cruel to one another We see we was too late couldn't do no good We asked some stragglers about it and they said everybody went to the show looking very innocent and laid low and kept dark till the poor old king was in the middle of his cavortings on the stage then somebody give a signal and the house rose up and went for them So we poked along back home and I warn't feeling so brash as I was before but kind of ornery and humble and to blame somehow though I hadn't done nothing But that's always the way it don't make no difference whether you do right or wrong a person's conscience ain't got no sense and just goes for him anyway If I had a yaller dog that didn't know no more than a person's conscience does I would pison him It takes up more room than all the rest of a person's insides and yet ain't no good nohow Tom Sawyer he says the same CHAPTER XXXIV WE stopped talking and got to thinking By and by Tom says Looky here Huck what fools we are to not think of it before I bet I know where Jim is No Where In that hut down by the ash-hopper Why looky here When we was at dinner didn't you see a nigger man go in there with some vittles Yes What did you think the vittles was for For a dog So 'd I Well it wasn't for a dog Why Because part of it was watermelon So it was I noticed it Well it does beat all that I never thought about a dog not eating watermelon It shows how a body can see and don't see at the same time Well the nigger unlocked the padlock when he went in and he locked it again when he came out He fetched uncle a key about the time we got up from table same key I bet Watermelon shows man lock shows prisoner and it ain't likely there's two prisoners on such a little plantation and where the people's all so kind and good Jim's the prisoner All right I'm glad we found it out detective fashion I wouldn't give shucks for any other way Now you work your mind and study out a plan to steal Jim and I will study out one too and we'll take the one we like the best What a head for just a boy to have If I had Tom Sawyer's head I wouldn't trade it off to be a duke nor mate of a steamboat nor clown in a circus nor nothing I can think of I went to thinking out a plan but only just to be doing something I knowed very well where the right plan was going to come from Pretty soon Tom says Ready Yes I says All right bring it out My plan is this I says We can easy find out if it's Jim in there Then get up my canoe to-morrow night and fetch my raft over from the island Then the first dark night that comes steal the key out of the old man's britches after he goes to bed and shove off down the river on the raft with Jim hiding daytimes and running nights the way me and Jim used to do before Wouldn't that plan work WORK Why cert'nly it would work like rats a-fighting But it's too blame' simple there ain't nothing TO it What's the good of a plan that ain't no more trouble than that It's as mild as goose-milk Why Huck it wouldn't make no more talk than breaking into a soap factory I never said nothing because I warn't expecting nothing different but I knowed mighty well that whenever he got HIS plan ready it wouldn't have none of them objections to it And it didn't He told me what it was and I see in a minute it was worth fifteen of mine for style and would make Jim just as free a man as mine would and maybe get us all killed besides So I was satisfied and said we would waltz in on it I needn't tell what it was here because I knowed it wouldn't stay the way it was I knowed he would be changing it around every which way as we went along and heaving in new bullinesses wherever he got a chance And that is what he done Well one thing was dead sure and that was that Tom Sawyer was in earnest and was actuly going to help steal that nigger out of slavery That was the thing that was too many for me Here was a boy that was respectable and well brung up and had a character to lose and folks at home that had characters and he was bright and not leather-headed and knowing and not ignorant and not mean but kind and yet here he was without any more pride or rightness or feeling than to stoop to this business and make himself a shame and his family a shame before everybody I COULDN'T understand it no way at all It was outrageous and I knowed I ought to just up and tell him so and so be his true friend and let him quit the thing right where he was and save himself And I DID start to tell him but he shut me up and says Don't you reckon I know what I'm about Don't I generly know what I'm about Yes Didn't I SAY I was going to help steal the nigger Yes WELL then That's all he said and that's all I said It warn't no use to say any more because when he said he'd do a thing he always done it But I couldn't make out how he was willing to go into this thing so I just let it go and never bothered no more about it If he was bound to have it so I couldn't help it When we got home the house was all dark and still so we went on down to the hut by the ash-hopper for to examine it We went through the yard so as to see what the hounds would do They knowed us and didn't make no more noise than country dogs is always doing when anything comes by in the night When we got to the cabin we took a look at the front and the two sides and on the side I warn't acquainted with which was the north side we found a square window-hole up tolerable high with just one stout board nailed across it I says Here's the ticket This hole's big enough for Jim to get through if we wrench off the board Tom says It's as simple as tit-tat-toe three-in-a-row and as easy as playing hooky I should HOPE we can find a way that's a little more complicated than THAT Huck Finn Well then I says how 'll it do to saw him out the way I done before I was murdered that time That's more LIKE he says It's real mysterious and troublesome and good he says but I bet we can find a way that's twice as long There ain't no hurry le's keep on looking around Betwixt the hut and the fence on the back side was a lean-to that joined the hut at the eaves and was made out of plank It was as long as the hut but narrow only about six foot wide The door to it was at the south end and was padlocked Tom he went to the soap-kettle and searched around and fetched back the iron thing they lift the lid with so he took it and prized out one of the staples The chain fell down and we opened the door and went in and shut it and struck a match and see the shed was only built against a cabin and hadn't no connection with it and there warn't no floor to the shed nor nothing in it but some old rusty played-out hoes and spades and picks and a crippled plow The match went out and so did we and shoved in the staple again and the door was locked as good as ever Tom was joyful He says Now we're all right We'll DIG him out It 'll take about a week Then we started for the house and I went in the back door you only have to pull a buckskin latch-string they don't fasten the doors but that warn't romantical enough for Tom Sawyer no way would do him but he must climb up the lightning-rod But after he got up half way about three times and missed fire and fell every time and the last time most busted his brains out he thought he'd got to give it up but after he was rested he allowed he would give her one more turn for luck and this time he made the trip In the morning we was up at break of day and down to the nigger cabins to pet the dogs and make friends with the nigger that fed Jim if it WAS Jim that was being fed The niggers was just getting through breakfast and starting for the fields and Jim's nigger was piling up a tin pan with bread and meat and things and whilst the others was leaving the key come from the house This nigger had a good-natured chuckle-headed face and his wool was all tied up in little bunches with thread That was to keep witches off He said the witches was pestering him awful these nights and making him see all kinds of strange things and hear all kinds of strange words and noises and he didn't believe he was ever witched so long before in his life He got so worked up and got to running on so about his troubles he forgot all about what he'd been a-going to do So Tom says What's the vittles for Going to feed the dogs The nigger kind of smiled around gradually over his face like when you heave a brickbat in a mud-puddle and he says Yes Mars Sid A dog Cur'us dog too Does you want to go en look at 'im Yes I hunched Tom and whispers You going right here in the daybreak THAT warn't the plan No it warn't but it's the plan NOW So drat him we went along but I didn't like it much When we got in we couldn't hardly see anything it was so dark but Jim was there sure enough and could see us and he sings out Why HUCK En good LAN' ain' dat Misto Tom I just knowed how it would be I just expected it I didn't know nothing to do and if I had I couldn't a done it because that nigger busted in and says Why de gracious sakes do he know you genlmen We could see pretty well now Tom he looked at the nigger steady and kind of wondering and says Does WHO know us Why dis-yer runaway nigger I don't reckon he does but what put that into your head What PUT it dar Didn' he jis' dis minute sing out like he knowed you Tom says in a puzzled-up kind of way Well that's mighty curious WHO sung out WHEN did he sing out WHAT did he sing out And turns to me perfectly ca'm and says Did YOU hear anybody sing out Of course there warn't nothing to be said but the one thing so I says No I ain't heard nobody say nothing Then he turns to Jim and looks him over like he never see him before and says Did you sing out No sah says Jim I hain't said nothing sah Not a word No sah I hain't said a word Did you ever see us before No sah not as I knows on So Tom turns to the nigger which was looking wild and distressed and says kind of severe What do you reckon's the matter with you anyway What made you think somebody sung out Oh it's de dad-blame' witches sah en I wisht I was dead I do Dey's awluz at it sah en dey do mos' kill me dey sk'yers me so Please to don't tell nobody 'bout it sah er ole Mars Silas he'll scole me 'kase he say dey AIN'T no witches I jis' wish to goodness he was heah now DEN what would he say I jis' bet he couldn' fine no way to git aroun' it DIS time But it's awluz jis' so people dat's SOT stays sot dey won't look into noth'n'en fine it out f'r deyselves en when YOU fine it out en tell um 'bout it dey doan' b'lieve you Tom give him a dime and said we wouldn't tell nobody and told him to buy some more thread to tie up his wool with and then looks at Jim and says I wonder if Uncle Silas is going to hang this nigger If I was to catch a nigger that was ungrateful enough to run away I wouldn't give him up I'd hang him And whilst the nigger stepped to the door to look at the dime and bite it to see if it was good he whispers to Jim and says Don't ever let on to know us And if you hear any digging going on nights it's us we're going to set you free Jim only had time to grab us by the hand and squeeze it then the nigger come back and we said we'd come again some time if the nigger wanted us to and he said he would more particular if it was dark because the witches went for him mostly in the dark and it was good to have folks around then CHAPTER XXXV IT would be most an hour yet till breakfast so we left and struck down into the woods because Tom said we got to have SOME light to see how to dig by and a lantern makes too much and might get us into trouble what we must have was a lot of them rotten chunks that's called fox-fire and just makes a soft kind of a glow when you lay them in a dark place We fetched an armful and hid it in the weeds and set down to rest and Tom says kind of dissatisfied Blame it this whole thing is just as easy and awkward as it can be And so it makes it so rotten difficult to get up a difficult plan There ain't no watchman to be drugged now there OUGHT to be a watchman There ain't even a dog to give a sleeping-mixture to And there's Jim chained by one leg with a ten-foot chain to the leg of his bed why all you got to do is to lift up the bedstead and slip off the chain And Uncle Silas he trusts everybody sends the key to the punkin-headed nigger and don't send nobody to watch the nigger Jim could a got out of that window-hole before this only there wouldn't be no use trying to travel with a ten-foot chain on his leg Why drat it Huck it's the stupidest arrangement I ever see You got to invent ALL the difficulties Well we can't help it we got to do the best we can with the materials we've got Anyhow there's one thing there's more honor in getting him out through a lot of difficulties and dangers where there warn't one of them furnished to you by the people who it was their duty to furnish them and you had to contrive them all out of your own head Now look at just that one thing of the lantern When you come down to the cold facts we simply got to LET ON that a lantern's resky Why we could work with a torchlight procession if we wanted to I believe Now whilst I think of it we got to hunt up something to make a saw out of the first chance we get What do we want of a saw What do we WANT of a saw Hain't we got to saw the leg of Jim's bed off so as to get the chain loose Why you just said a body could lift up the bedstead and slip the chain off Well if that ain't just like you Huck Finn You CAN get up the infant-schooliest ways of going at a thing Why hain't you ever read any books at all Baron Trenck nor Casanova nor Benvenuto Chelleeny nor Henri IV nor none of them heroes Who ever heard of getting a prisoner loose in such an old-maidy way as that No the way all the best authorities does is to saw the bed-leg in two and leave it just so and swallow the sawdust so it can't be found and put some dirt and grease around the sawed place so the very keenest seneskal can't see no sign of it's being sawed and thinks the bed-leg is perfectly sound Then the night you're ready fetch the leg a kick down she goes slip off your chain and there you are Nothing to do but hitch your rope ladder to the battlements shin down it break your leg in the moat because a rope ladder is nineteen foot too short you know and there's your horses and your trusty vassles and they scoop you up and fling you across a saddle and away you go to your native Langudoc or Navarre or wherever it is It's gaudy Huck I wish there was a moat to this cabin If we get time the night of the escape we'll dig one I says What do we want of a moat when we're going to snake him out from under the cabin But he never heard me He had forgot me and everything else He had his chin in his hand thinking Pretty soon he sighs and shakes his head then sighs again and says No it wouldn't do there ain't necessity enough for it For what I says Why to saw Jim's leg off he says Good land I says why there ain't NO necessity for it And what would you want to saw his leg off for anyway Well some of the best authorities has done it They couldn't get the chain off so they just cut their hand off and shoved And a leg would be better still But we got to let that go There ain't necessity enough in this case and besides Jim's a nigger and wouldn't understand the reasons for it and how it's the custom in Europe so we'll let it go But there's one thing he can have a rope ladder we can tear up our sheets and make him a rope ladder easy enough And we can send it to him in a pie it's mostly done that way And I've et worse pies Why Tom Sawyer how you talk I says Jim ain't got no use for a rope ladder He HAS got use for it How YOU talk you better say you don't know nothing about it He's GOT to have a rope ladder they all do What in the nation can he DO with it DO with it He can hide it in his bed can't he That's what they all do and HE'S got to too Huck you don't ever seem to want to do anything that's regular you want to be starting something fresh all the time S'pose he DON'T do nothing with it ain't it there in his bed for a clew after he's gone and don't you reckon they'll want clews Of course they will And you wouldn't leave them any That would be a PRETTY howdy-do WOULDN'T it I never heard of such a thing Well I says if it's in the regulations and he's got to have it all right let him have it because I don't wish to go back on no regulations but there's one thing Tom Sawyer if we go to tearing up our sheets to make Jim a rope ladder we're going to get into trouble with Aunt Sally just as sure as you're born Now the way I look at it a hickry-bark ladder don't cost nothing and don't waste nothing and is just as good to load up a pie with and hide in a straw tick as any rag ladder you can start and as for Jim he ain't had no experience and so he don't care what kind of a Oh shucks Huck Finn if I was as ignorant as you I'd keep still that's what I'D do Who ever heard of a state prisoner escaping by a hickry-bark ladder Why it's perfectly ridiculous Well all right Tom fix it your own way but if you'll take my advice you'll let me borrow a sheet off of the clothesline He said that would do And that gave him another idea and he says Borrow a shirt too What do we want of a shirt Tom Want it for Jim to keep a journal on Journal your granny JIM can't write S'pose he CAN'T write he can make marks on the shirt can't he if we make him a pen out of an old pewter spoon or a piece of an old iron barrel-hoop Why Tom we can pull a feather out of a goose and make him a better one and quicker too PRISONERS don't have geese running around the donjon-keep to pull pens out of you muggins They ALWAYS make their pens out of the hardest toughest troublesomest piece of old brass candlestick or something like that they can get their hands on and it takes them weeks and weeks and months and months to file it out too because they've got to do it by rubbing it on the wall THEY wouldn't use a goose-quill if they had it It ain't regular Well then what'll we make him the ink out of Many makes it out of iron-rust and tears but that's the common sort and women the best authorities uses their own blood Jim can do that and when he wants to send any little common ordinary mysterious message to let the world know where he's captivated he can write it on the bottom of a tin plate with a fork and throw it out of the window The Iron Mask always done that and it's a blame' good way too Jim ain't got no tin plates They feed him in a pan That ain't nothing we can get him some Can't nobody READ his plates That ain't got anything to DO with it Huck Finn All HE'S got to do is to write on the plate and throw it out You don't HAVE to be able to read it Why half the time you can't read anything a prisoner writes on a tin plate or anywhere else Well then what's the sense in wasting the plates Why blame it all it ain't the PRISONER'S plates But it's SOMEBODY'S plates ain't it Well spos'n it is What does the PRISONER care whose He broke off there because we heard the breakfast-horn blowing So we cleared out for the house Along during the morning I borrowed a sheet and a white shirt off of the clothes-line and I found an old sack and put them in it and we went down and got the fox-fire and put that in too I called it borrowing because that was what pap always called it but Tom said it warn't borrowing it was stealing He said we was representing prisoners and prisoners don't care how they get a thing so they get it and nobody don't blame them for it either It ain't no crime in a prisoner to steal the thing he needs to get away with Tom said it's his right and so as long as we was representing a prisoner we had a perfect right to steal anything on this place we had the least use for to get ourselves out of prison with He said if we warn't prisoners it would be a very different thing and nobody but a mean ornery person would steal when he warn't a prisoner So we allowed we would steal everything there was that come handy And yet he made a mighty fuss one day after that when I stole a watermelon out of the nigger-patch and eat it and he made me go and give the niggers a dime without telling them what it was for Tom said that what he meant was we could steal anything we NEEDED Well I says I needed the watermelon But he said I didn't need it to get out of prison with there's where the difference was He said if I'd a wanted it to hide a knife in and smuggle it to Jim to kill the seneskal with it would a been all right So I let it go at that though I couldn't see no advantage in my representing a prisoner if I got to set down and chaw over a lot of gold-leaf distinctions like that every time I see a chance to hog a watermelon Well as I was saying we waited that morning till everybody was settled down to business and nobody in sight around the yard then Tom he carried the sack into the lean-to whilst I stood off a piece to keep watch By and by he come out and we went and set down on the woodpile to talk He says Everything's all right now except tools and that's easy fixed Tools I says Yes Tools for what Why to dig with We ain't a-going to GNAW him out are we Ain't them old crippled picks and things in there good enough to dig a nigger out with I says He turns on me looking pitying enough to make a body cry and says Huck Finn did you EVER hear of a prisoner having picks and shovels and all the modern conveniences in his wardrobe to dig himself out with Now I want to ask you if you got any reasonableness in you at all what kind of a show would THAT give him to be a hero Why they might as well lend him the key and done with it Picks and shovels why they wouldn't furnish 'em to a king Well then I says if we don't want the picks and shovels what do we want A couple of case-knives To dig the foundations out from under that cabin with Yes Confound it it's foolish Tom It don't make no difference how foolish it is it's the RIGHT way and it's the regular way And there ain't no OTHER way that ever I heard of and I've read all the books that gives any information about these things They always dig out with a case-knife and not through dirt mind you generly it's through solid rock And it takes them weeks and weeks and weeks and for ever and ever Why look at one of them prisoners in the bottom dungeon of the Castle Deef in the harbor of Marseilles that dug himself out that way how long was HE at it you reckon I don't know Well guess I don't know A month and a half THIRTY-SEVEN YEAR and he come out in China THAT'S the kind I wish the bottom of THIS fortress was solid rock JIM don't know nobody in China What's THAT got to do with it Neither did that other fellow But you're always a-wandering off on a side issue Why can't you stick to the main point All right I don't care where he comes out so he COMES out and Jim don't either I reckon But there's one thing anyway Jim's too old to be dug out with a case-knife He won't last Yes he will LAST too You don't reckon it's going to take thirty-seven years to dig out through a DIRT foundation do you How long will it take Tom Well we can't resk being as long as we ought to because it mayn't take very long for Uncle Silas to hear from down there by New Orleans He'll hear Jim ain't from there Then his next move will be to advertise Jim or something like that So we can't resk being as long digging him out as we ought to By rights I reckon we ought to be a couple of years but we can't Things being so uncertain what I recommend is this that we really dig right in as quick as we can and after that we can LET ON to ourselves that we was at it thirty-seven years Then we can snatch him out and rush him away the first time there's an alarm Yes I reckon that 'll be the best way Now there's SENSE in that I says Letting on don't cost nothing letting on ain't no trouble and if it's any object I don't mind letting on we was at it a hundred and fifty year It wouldn't strain me none after I got my hand in So I'll mosey along now and smouch a couple of case-knives Smouch three he says we want one to make a saw out of Tom if it ain't unregular and irreligious to sejest it I says there's an old rusty saw-blade around yonder sticking under the weather-boarding behind the smoke-house He looked kind of weary and discouraged-like and says It ain't no use to try to learn you nothing Huck Run along and smouch the knives three of them So I done it CHAPTER XXXVI AS soon as we reckoned everybody was asleep that night we went down the lightning-rod and shut ourselves up in the lean-to and got out our pile of fox-fire and went to work We cleared everything out of the way about four or five foot along the middle of the bottom log Tom said we was right behind Jim's bed now and we'd dig in under it and when we got through there couldn't nobody in the cabin ever know there was any hole there because Jim's counter-pin hung down most to the ground and you'd have to raise it up and look under to see the hole So we dug and dug with the case-knives till most midnight and then we was dog-tired and our hands was blistered and yet you couldn't see we'd done anything hardly At last I says This ain't no thirty-seven year job this is a thirty-eight year job Tom Sawyer He never said nothing But he sighed and pretty soon he stopped digging and then for a good little while I knowed that he was thinking Then he says It ain't no use Huck it ain't a-going to work If we was prisoners it would because then we'd have as many years as we wanted and no hurry and we wouldn't get but a few minutes to dig every day while they was changing watches and so our hands wouldn't get blistered and we could keep it up right along year in and year out and do it right and the way it ought to be done But WE can't fool along we got to rush we ain't got no time to spare If we was to put in another night this way we'd have to knock off for a week to let our hands get well couldn't touch a case-knife with them sooner Well then what we going to do Tom I'll tell you It ain't right and it ain't moral and I wouldn't like it to get out but there ain't only just the one way we got to dig him out with the picks and LET ON it's case-knives NOW you're TALKING I says your head gets leveler and leveler all the time Tom Sawyer I says Picks is the thing moral or no moral and as for me I don't care shucks for the morality of it nohow When I start in to steal a nigger or a watermelon or a Sunday-school book I ain't no ways particular how it's done so it's done What I want is my nigger or what I want is my watermelon or what I want is my Sunday-school book and if a pick's the handiest thing that's the thing I'm a-going to dig that nigger or that watermelon or that Sunday-school book out with and I don't give a dead rat what the authorities thinks about it nuther Well he says there's excuse for picks and letting-on in a case like this if it warn't so I wouldn't approve of it nor I wouldn't stand by and see the rules broke because right is right and wrong is wrong and a body ain't got no business doing wrong when he ain't ignorant and knows better It might answer for YOU to dig Jim out with a pick WITHOUT any letting on because you don't know no better but it wouldn't for me because I do know better Gimme a case-knife He had his own by him but I handed him mine He flung it down and says Gimme a CASE-KNIFE I didn't know just what to do but then I thought I scratched around amongst the old tools and got a pickaxe and give it to him and he took it and went to work and never said a word He was always just that particular Full of principle So then I got a shovel and then we picked and shoveled turn about and made the fur fly We stuck to it about a half an hour which was as long as we could stand up but we had a good deal of a hole to show for it When I got up stairs I looked out at the window and see Tom doing his level best with the lightning-rod but he couldn't come it his hands was so sore At last he says It ain't no use it can't be done What you reckon I better do Can't you think of no way Yes I says but I reckon it ain't regular Come up the stairs and let on it's a lightning-rod So he done it Next day Tom stole a pewter spoon and a brass candlestick in the house for to make some pens for Jim out of and six tallow candles and I hung around the nigger cabins and laid for a chance and stole three tin plates Tom says it wasn't enough but I said nobody wouldn't ever see the plates that Jim throwed out because they'd fall in the dog-fennel and jimpson weeds under the window-hole then we could tote them back and he could use them over again So Tom was satisfied Then he says Now the thing to study out is how to get the things to Jim Take them in through the hole I says when we get it done He only just looked scornful and said something about nobody ever heard of such an idiotic idea and then he went to studying By and by he said he had ciphered out two or three ways but there warn't no need to decide on any of them yet Said we'd got to post Jim first That night we went down the lightning-rod a little after ten and took one of the candles along and listened under the window-hole and heard Jim snoring so we pitched it in and it didn't wake him Then we whirled in with the pick and shovel and in about two hours and a half the job was done We crept in under Jim's bed and into the cabin and pawed around and found the candle and lit it and stood over Jim awhile and found him looking hearty and healthy and then we woke him up gentle and gradual He was so glad to see us he most cried and called us honey and all the pet names he could think of and was for having us hunt up a cold-chisel to cut the chain off of his leg with right away and clearing out without losing any time But Tom he showed him how unregular it would be and set down and told him all about our plans and how we could alter them in a minute any time there was an alarm and not to be the least afraid because we would see he got away SURE So Jim he said it was all right and we set there and talked over old times awhile and then Tom asked a lot of questions and when Jim told him Uncle Silas come in every day or two to pray with him and Aunt Sally come in to see if he was comfortable and had plenty to eat and both of them was kind as they could be Tom says NOW I know how to fix it We'll send you some things by them I said Don't do nothing of the kind it's one of the most jackass ideas I ever struck but he never paid no attention to me went right on It was his way when he'd got his plans set So he told Jim how we'd have to smuggle in the rope-ladder pie and other large things by Nat the nigger that fed him and he must be on the lookout and not be surprised and not let Nat see him open them and we would put small things in uncle's coat-pockets and he must steal them out and we would tie things to aunt's apron-strings or put them in her apron-pocket if we got a chance and told him what they would be and what they was for And told him how to keep a journal on the shirt with his blood and all that He told him everything Jim he couldn't see no sense in the most of it but he allowed we was white folks and knowed better than him so he was satisfied and said he would do it all just as Tom said Jim had plenty corn-cob pipes and tobacco so we had a right down good sociable time then we crawled out through the hole and so home to bed with hands that looked like they'd been chawed Tom was in high spirits He said it was the best fun he ever had in his life and the most intellectural and said if he only could see his way to it we would keep it up all the rest of our lives and leave Jim to our children to get out for he believed Jim would come to like it better and better the more he got used to it He said that in that way it could be strung out to as much as eighty year and would be the best time on record And he said it would make us all celebrated that had a hand in it In the morning we went out to the woodpile and chopped up the brass candlestick into handy sizes and Tom put them and the pewter spoon in his pocket Then we went to the nigger cabins and while I got Nat's notice off Tom shoved a piece of candlestick into the middle of a corn-pone that was in Jim's pan and we went along with Nat to see how it would work and it just worked noble when Jim bit into it it most mashed all his teeth out and there warn't ever anything could a worked better Tom said so himself Jim he never let on but what it was only just a piece of rock or something like that that's always getting into bread you know but after that he never bit into nothing but what he jabbed his fork into it in three or four places first And whilst we was a-standing there in the dimmish light here comes a couple of the hounds bulging in from under Jim's bed and they kept on piling in till there was eleven of them and there warn't hardly room in there to get your breath By jings we forgot to fasten that lean-to door The nigger Nat he only just hollered Witches once and keeled over on to the floor amongst the dogs and begun to groan like he was dying Tom jerked the door open and flung out a slab of Jim's meat and the dogs went for it and in two seconds he was out himself and back again and shut the door and I knowed he'd fixed the other door too Then he went to work on the nigger coaxing him and petting him and asking him if he'd been imagining he saw something again He raised up and blinked his eyes around and says Mars Sid you'll say I's a fool but if I didn't b'lieve I see most a million dogs er devils er some'n I wisht I may die right heah in dese tracks I did mos' sholy Mars Sid I FELT um I FELT um sah dey was all over me Dad fetch it I jis' wisht I could git my han's on one er dem witches jis' wunst on'y jis' wunst it's all I'd ast But mos'ly I wisht dey'd lemme 'lone I does Tom says Well I tell you what I think What makes them come here just at this runaway nigger's breakfast-time It's because they're hungry that's the reason You make them a witch pie that's the thing for YOU to do But my lan' Mars Sid how's I gwyne to make 'm a witch pie I doan' know how to make it I hain't ever hearn er sich a thing b'fo' Well then I'll have to make it myself Will you do it honey will you I'll wusshup de groun' und' yo' foot I will All right I'll do it seeing it's you and you've been good to us and showed us the runaway nigger But you got to be mighty careful When we come around you turn your back and then whatever we've put in the pan don't you let on you see it at all And don't you look when Jim unloads the pan something might happen I don't know what And above all don't you HANDLE the witch-things HANNEL 'm Mars Sid What IS you a-talkin' 'bout I wouldn' lay de weight er my finger on um not f'r ten hund'd thous'n billion dollars I wouldn't CHAPTER XXXVII THAT was all fixed So then we went away and went to the rubbage-pile in the back yard where they keep the old boots and rags and pieces of bottles and wore-out tin things and all such truck and scratched around and found an old tin washpan and stopped up the holes as well as we could to bake the pie in and took it down cellar and stole it full of flour and started for breakfast and found a couple of shingle-nails that Tom said would be handy for a prisoner to scrabble his name and sorrows on the dungeon walls with and dropped one of them in Aunt Sally's apron-pocket which was hanging on a chair and t'other we stuck in the band of Uncle Silas's hat which was on the bureau because we heard the children say their pa and ma was going to the runaway nigger's house this morning and then went to breakfast and Tom dropped the pewter spoon in Uncle Silas's coat-pocket and Aunt Sally wasn't come yet so we had to wait a little while And when she come she was hot and red and cross and couldn't hardly wait for the blessing and then she went to sluicing out coffee with one hand and cracking the handiest child's head with her thimble with the other and says I've hunted high and I've hunted low and it does beat all what HAS become of your other shirt My heart fell down amongst my lungs and livers and things and a hard piece of corn-crust started down my throat after it and got met on the road with a cough and was shot across the table and took one of the children in the eye and curled him up like a fishing-worm and let a cry out of him the size of a warwhoop and Tom he turned kinder blue around the gills and it all amounted to a considerable state of things for about a quarter of a minute or as much as that and I would a sold out for half price if there was a bidder But after that we was all right again it was the sudden surprise of it that knocked us so kind of cold Uncle Silas he says It's most uncommon curious I can't understand it I know perfectly well I took it OFF because Because you hain't got but one ON Just LISTEN at the man I know you took it off and know it by a better way than your wool-gethering memory too because it was on the clo's-line yesterday I see it there myself But it's gone that's the long and the short of it and you'll just have to change to a red flann'l one till I can get time to make a new one And it 'll be the third I've made in two years It just keeps a body on the jump to keep you in shirts and whatever you do manage to DO with 'm all is more'n I can make out A body 'd think you WOULD learn to take some sort of care of 'em at your time of life I know it Sally and I do try all I can But it oughtn't to be altogether my fault because you know I don't see them nor have nothing to do with them except when they're on me and I don't believe I've ever lost one of them OFF of me Well it ain't YOUR fault if you haven't Silas you'd a done it if you could I reckon And the shirt ain't all that's gone nuther Ther's a spoon gone and THAT ain't all There was ten and now ther's only nine The calf got the shirt I reckon but the calf never took the spoon THAT'S certain Why what else is gone Sally Ther's six CANDLES gone that's what The rats could a got the candles and I reckon they did I wonder they don't walk off with the whole place the way you're always going to stop their holes and don't do it and if they warn't fools they'd sleep in your hair Silas YOU'D never find it out but you can't lay the SPOON on the rats and that I know Well Sally I'm in fault and I acknowledge it I've been remiss but I won't let to-morrow go by without stopping up them holes Oh I wouldn't hurry next year 'll do Matilda Angelina Araminta PHELPS Whack comes the thimble and the child snatches her claws out of the sugar-bowl without fooling around any Just then the nigger woman steps on to the passage and says Missus dey's a sheet gone A SHEET gone Well for the land's sake I'll stop up them holes to-day says Uncle Silas looking sorrowful Oh DO shet up s'pose the rats took the SHEET WHERE'S it gone Lize Clah to goodness I hain't no notion Miss' Sally She wuz on de clo'sline yistiddy but she done gone she ain' dah no mo' now I reckon the world IS coming to an end I NEVER see the beat of it in all my born days A shirt and a sheet and a spoon and six can Missus comes a young yaller wench dey's a brass cannelstick miss'n Cler out from here you hussy er I'll take a skillet to ye Well she was just a-biling I begun to lay for a chance I reckoned I would sneak out and go for the woods till the weather moderated She kept a-raging right along running her insurrection all by herself and everybody else mighty meek and quiet and at last Uncle Silas looking kind of foolish fishes up that spoon out of his pocket She stopped with her mouth open and her hands up and as for me I wished I was in Jeruslem or somewheres But not long because she says It's JUST as I expected So you had it in your pocket all the time and like as not you've got the other things there too How'd it get there I reely don't know Sally he says kind of apologizing or you know I would tell I was a-studying over my text in Acts Seventeen before breakfast and I reckon I put it in there not noticing meaning to put my Testament in and it must be so because my Testament ain't in but I'll go and see and if the Testament is where I had it I'll know I didn't put it in and that will show that I laid the Testament down and took up the spoon and Oh for the land's sake Give a body a rest Go 'long now the whole kit and biling of ye and don't come nigh me again till I've got back my peace of mind I'd a heard her if she'd a said it to herself let alone speaking it out and I'd a got up and obeyed her if I'd a been dead As we was passing through the setting-room the old man he took up his hat and the shingle-nail fell out on the floor and he just merely picked it up and laid it on the mantel-shelf and never said nothing and went out Tom see him do it and remembered about the spoon and says Well it ain't no use to send things by HIM no more he ain't reliable Then he says But he done us a good turn with the spoon anyway without knowing it and so we'll go and do him one without HIM knowing it stop up his rat-holes There was a noble good lot of them down cellar and it took us a whole hour but we done the job tight and good and shipshape Then we heard steps on the stairs and blowed out our light and hid and here comes the old man with a candle in one hand and a bundle of stuff in t'other looking as absent-minded as year before last He went a mooning around first to one rat-hole and then another till he'd been to them all Then he stood about five minutes picking tallow-drip off of his candle and thinking Then he turns off slow and dreamy towards the stairs saying Well for the life of me I can't remember when I done it I could show her now that I warn't to blame on account of the rats But never mind let it go I reckon it wouldn't do no good And so he went on a-mumbling up stairs and then we left He was a mighty nice old man And always is Tom was a good deal bothered about what to do for a spoon but he said we'd got to have it so he took a think When he had ciphered it out he told me how we was to do then we went and waited around the spoon-basket till we see Aunt Sally coming and then Tom went to counting the spoons and laying them out to one side and I slid one of them up my sleeve and Tom says Why Aunt Sally there ain't but nine spoons YET She says Go 'long to your play and don't bother me I know better I counted 'm myself Well I've counted them twice Aunty and I can't make but nine She looked out of all patience but of course she come to count anybody would I declare to gracious ther' AIN'T but nine she says Why what in the world plague TAKE the things I'll count 'm again So I slipped back the one I had and when she got done counting she says Hang the troublesome rubbage ther's TEN now and she looked huffy and bothered both But Tom says Why Aunty I don't think there's ten You numskull didn't you see me COUNT 'm I know but Well I'll count 'm AGAIN So I smouched one and they come out nine same as the other time Well she WAS in a tearing way just a-trembling all over she was so mad But she counted and counted till she got that addled she'd start to count in the basket for a spoon sometimes and so three times they come out right and three times they come out wrong Then she grabbed up the basket and slammed it across the house and knocked the cat galley-west and she said cle'r out and let her have some peace and if we come bothering around her again betwixt that and dinner she'd skin us So we had the odd spoon and dropped it in her apron-pocket whilst she was a-giving us our sailing orders and Jim got it all right along with her shingle nail before noon We was very well satisfied with this business and Tom allowed it was worth twice the trouble it took because he said NOW she couldn't ever count them spoons twice alike again to save her life and wouldn't believe she'd counted them right if she DID and said that after she'd about counted her head off for the next three days he judged she'd give it up and offer to kill anybody that wanted her to ever count them any more So we put the sheet back on the line that night and stole one out of her closet and kept on putting it back and stealing it again for a couple of days till she didn't know how many sheets she had any more and she didn't CARE and warn't a-going to bullyrag the rest of her soul out about it and wouldn't count them again not to save her life she druther die first So we was all right now as to the shirt and the sheet and the spoon and the candles by the help of the calf and the rats and the mixed-up counting and as to the candlestick it warn't no consequence it would blow over by and by But that pie was a job we had no end of trouble with that pie We fixed it up away down in the woods and cooked it there and we got it done at last and very satisfactory too but not all in one day and we had to use up three wash-pans full of flour before we got through and we got burnt pretty much all over in places and eyes put out with the smoke because you see we didn't want nothing but a crust and we couldn't prop it up right and she would always cave in But of course we thought of the right way at last which was to cook the ladder too in the pie So then we laid in with Jim the second night and tore up the sheet all in little strings and twisted them together and long before daylight we had a lovely rope that you could a hung a person with We let on it took nine months to make it And in the forenoon we took it down to the woods but it wouldn't go into the pie Being made of a whole sheet that way there was rope enough for forty pies if we'd a wanted them and plenty left over for soup or sausage or anything you choose We could a had a whole dinner But we didn't need it All we needed was just enough for the pie and so we throwed the rest away We didn't cook none of the pies in the wash-pan afraid the solder would melt but Uncle Silas he had a noble brass warming-pan which he thought considerable of because it belonged to one of his ancesters with a long wooden handle that come over from England with William the Conqueror in the Mayflower or one of them early ships and was hid away up garret with a lot of other old pots and things that was valuable not on account of being any account because they warn't but on account of them being relicts you know and we snaked her out private and took her down there but she failed on the first pies because we didn't know how but she come up smiling on the last one We took and lined her with dough and set her in the coals and loaded her up with rag rope and put on a dough roof and shut down the lid and put hot embers on top and stood off five foot with the long handle cool and comfortable and in fifteen minutes she turned out a pie that was a satisfaction to look at But the person that et it would want to fetch a couple of kags of toothpicks along for if that rope ladder wouldn't cramp him down to business I don't know nothing what I'm talking about and lay him in enough stomach-ache to last him till next time too Nat didn't look when we put the witch pie in Jim's pan and we put the three tin plates in the bottom of the pan under the vittles and so Jim got everything all right and as soon as he was by himself he busted into the pie and hid the rope ladder inside of his straw tick and scratched some marks on a tin plate and throwed it out of the window-hole CHAPTER XXXVIII MAKING them pens was a distressid tough job and so was the saw and Jim allowed the inscription was going to be the toughest of all That's the one which the prisoner has to scrabble on the wall But he had to have it Tom said he'd GOT to there warn't no case of a state prisoner not scrabbling his inscription to leave behind and his coat of arms Look at Lady Jane Grey he says look at Gilford Dudley look at old Northumberland Why Huck s'pose it IS considerble trouble what you going to do how you going to get around it Jim's GOT to do his inscription and coat of arms They all do Jim says Why Mars Tom I hain't got no coat o' arm I hain't got nuffn but dish yer ole shirt en you knows I got to keep de journal on dat Oh you don't understand Jim a coat of arms is very different Well I says Jim's right anyway when he says he ain't got no coat of arms because he hain't I reckon I knowed that Tom says but you bet he'll have one before he goes out of this because he's going out RIGHT and there ain't going to be no flaws in his record So whilst me and Jim filed away at the pens on a brickbat apiece Jim a-making his'n out of the brass and I making mine out of the spoon Tom set to work to think out the coat of arms By and by he said he'd struck so many good ones he didn't hardly know which to take but there was one which he reckoned he'd decide on He says On the scutcheon we'll have a bend OR in the dexter base a saltire MURREY in the fess with a dog couchant for common charge and under his foot a chain embattled for slavery with a chevron VERT in a chief engrailed and three invected lines on a field AZURE with the nombril points rampant on a dancette indented crest a runaway nigger SABLE with his bundle over his shoulder on a bar sinister and a couple of gules for supporters which is you and me motto MAGGIORE FRETTA MINORE OTTO Got it out of a book means the more haste the less speed Geewhillikins I says but what does the rest of it mean We ain't got no time to bother over that he says we got to dig in like all git-out Well anyway I says what's SOME of it What's a fess A fess a fess is YOU don't need to know what a fess is I'll show him how to make it when he gets to it Shucks Tom I says I think you might tell a person What's a bar sinister Oh I don't know But he's got to have it All the nobility does That was just his way If it didn't suit him to explain a thing to you he wouldn't do it You might pump at him a week it wouldn't make no difference He'd got all that coat of arms business fixed so now he started in to finish up the rest of that part of the work which was to plan out a mournful inscription said Jim got to have one like they all done He made up a lot and wrote them out on a paper and read them off so 1 Here a captive heart busted 2 Here a poor prisoner forsook by the world and friends fretted his sorrowful life 3 Here a lonely heart broke and a worn spirit went to its rest after thirty-seven years of solitary captivity 4 Here homeless and friendless after thirty-seven years of bitter captivity perished a noble stranger natural son of Louis XIV Tom's voice trembled whilst he was reading them and he most broke down When he got done he couldn't no way make up his mind which one for Jim to scrabble on to the wall they was all so good but at last he allowed he would let him scrabble them all on Jim said it would take him a year to scrabble such a lot of truck on to the logs with a nail and he didn't know how to make letters besides but Tom said he would block them out for him and then he wouldn't have nothing to do but just follow the lines Then pretty soon he says Come to think the logs ain't a-going to do they don't have log walls in a dungeon we got to dig the inscriptions into a rock We'll fetch a rock Jim said the rock was worse than the logs he said it would take him such a pison long time to dig them into a rock he wouldn't ever get out But Tom said he would let me help him do it Then he took a look to see how me and Jim was getting along with the pens It was most pesky tedious hard work and slow and didn't give my hands no show to get well of the sores and we didn't seem to make no headway hardly so Tom says I know how to fix it We got to have a rock for the coat of arms and mournful inscriptions and we can kill two birds with that same rock There's a gaudy big grindstone down at the mill and we'll smouch it and carve the things on it and file out the pens and the saw on it too It warn't no slouch of an idea and it warn't no slouch of a grindstone nuther but we allowed we'd tackle it It warn't quite midnight yet so we cleared out for the mill leaving Jim at work We smouched the grindstone and set out to roll her home but it was a most nation tough job Sometimes do what we could we couldn't keep her from falling over and she come mighty near mashing us every time Tom said she was going to get one of us sure before we got through We got her half way and then we was plumb played out and most drownded with sweat We see it warn't no use we got to go and fetch Jim So he raised up his bed and slid the chain off of the bed-leg and wrapt it round and round his neck and we crawled out through our hole and down there and Jim and me laid into that grindstone and walked her along like nothing and Tom superintended He could out-superintend any boy I ever see He knowed how to do everything Our hole was pretty big but it warn't big enough to get the grindstone through but Jim he took the pick and soon made it big enough Then Tom marked out them things on it with the nail and set Jim to work on them with the nail for a chisel and an iron bolt from the rubbage in the lean-to for a hammer and told him to work till the rest of his candle quit on him and then he could go to bed and hide the grindstone under his straw tick and sleep on it Then we helped him fix his chain back on the bed-leg and was ready for bed ourselves But Tom thought of something and says You got any spiders in here Jim No sah thanks to goodness I hain't Mars Tom All right we'll get you some But bless you honey I doan' WANT none I's afeard un um I jis' 's soon have rattlesnakes aroun' Tom thought a minute or two and says It's a good idea And I reckon it's been done It MUST a been done it stands to reason Yes it's a prime good idea Where could you keep it Keep what Mars Tom Why a rattlesnake De goodness gracious alive Mars Tom Why if dey was a rattlesnake to come in heah I'd take en bust right out thoo dat log wall I would wid my head Why Jim you wouldn't be afraid of it after a little You could tame it TAME it Yes easy enough Every animal is grateful for kindness and petting and they wouldn't THINK of hurting a person that pets them Any book will tell you that You try that's all I ask just try for two or three days Why you can get him so in a little while that he'll love you and sleep with you and won't stay away from you a minute and will let you wrap him round your neck and put his head in your mouth PLEASE Mars Tom DOAN' talk so I can't STAN' it He'd LET me shove his head in my mouf fer a favor hain't it I lay he'd wait a pow'ful long time 'fo' I AST him En mo' en dat I doan' WANT him to sleep wid me Jim don't act so foolish A prisoner's GOT to have some kind of a dumb pet and if a rattlesnake hain't ever been tried why there's more glory to be gained in your being the first to ever try it than any other way you could ever think of to save your life Why Mars Tom I doan' WANT no sich glory Snake take 'n bite Jim's chin off den WHAH is de glory No sah I doan' want no sich doin's Blame it can't you TRY I only WANT you to try you needn't keep it up if it don't work But de trouble all DONE ef de snake bite me while I's a tryin' him Mars Tom I's willin' to tackle mos' anything 'at ain't onreasonable but ef you en Huck fetches a rattlesnake in heah for me to tame I's gwyne to LEAVE dat's SHORE Well then let it go let it go if you're so bull-headed about it We can get you some garter-snakes and you can tie some buttons on their tails and let on they're rattlesnakes and I reckon that 'll have to do I k'n stan' DEM Mars Tom but blame' 'f I couldn' get along widout um I tell you dat I never knowed b'fo' 't was so much bother and trouble to be a prisoner Well it ALWAYS is when it's done right You got any rats around here No sah I hain't seed none Well we'll get you some rats Why Mars Tom I doan' WANT no rats Dey's de dadblamedest creturs to 'sturb a body en rustle roun' over 'im en bite his feet when he's tryin' to sleep I ever see No sah gimme g'yarter-snakes 'f I's got to have 'm but doan' gimme no rats I hain' got no use f'r um skasely But Jim you GOT to have 'em they all do So don't make no more fuss about it Prisoners ain't ever without rats There ain't no instance of it And they train them and pet them and learn them tricks and they get to be as sociable as flies But you got to play music to them You got anything to play music on I ain' got nuffn but a coase comb en a piece o' paper en a juice-harp but I reck'n dey wouldn' take no stock in a juice-harp Yes they would THEY don't care what kind of music 'tis A jews-harp's plenty good enough for a rat All animals like music in a prison they dote on it Specially painful music and you can't get no other kind out of a jews-harp It always interests them they come out to see what's the matter with you Yes you're all right you're fixed very well You want to set on your bed nights before you go to sleep and early in the mornings and play your jews-harp play 'The Last Link is Broken' that's the thing that 'll scoop a rat quicker 'n anything else and when you've played about two minutes you'll see all the rats and the snakes and spiders and things begin to feel worried about you and come And they'll just fairly swarm over you and have a noble good time Yes DEY will I reck'n Mars Tom but what kine er time is JIM havin' Blest if I kin see de pint But I'll do it ef I got to I reck'n I better keep de animals satisfied en not have no trouble in de house Tom waited to think it over and see if there wasn't nothing else and pretty soon he says Oh there's one thing I forgot Could you raise a flower here do you reckon I doan know but maybe I could Mars Tom but it's tolable dark in heah en I ain' got no use f'r no flower nohow en she'd be a pow'ful sight o' trouble Well you try it anyway Some other prisoners has done it One er dem big cat-tail-lookin' mullen-stalks would grow in heah Mars Tom I reck'n but she wouldn't be wuth half de trouble she'd coss Don't you believe it We'll fetch you a little one and you plant it in the corner over there and raise it And don't call it mullen call it Pitchiola that's its right name when it's in a prison And you want to water it with your tears Why I got plenty spring water Mars Tom You don't WANT spring water you want to water it with your tears It's the way they always do Why Mars Tom I lay I kin raise one er dem mullen-stalks twyste wid spring water whiles another man's a START'N one wid tears That ain't the idea You GOT to do it with tears She'll die on my han's Mars Tom she sholy will kase I doan' skasely ever cry So Tom was stumped But he studied it over and then said Jim would have to worry along the best he could with an onion He promised he would go to the nigger cabins and drop one private in Jim's coffee-pot in the morning Jim said he would jis' 's soon have tobacker in his coffee and found so much fault with it and with the work and bother of raising the mullen and jews-harping the rats and petting and flattering up the snakes and spiders and things on top of all the other work he had to do on pens and inscriptions and journals and things which made it more trouble and worry and responsibility to be a prisoner than anything he ever undertook that Tom most lost all patience with him and said he was just loadened down with more gaudier chances than a prisoner ever had in the world to make a name for himself and yet he didn't know enough to appreciate them and they was just about wasted on him So Jim he was sorry and said he wouldn't behave so no more and then me and Tom shoved for bed CHAPTER XXXIX IN the morning we went up to the village and bought a wire rat-trap and fetched it down and unstopped the best rat-hole and in about an hour we had fifteen of the bulliest kind of ones and then we took it and put it in a safe place under Aunt Sally's bed But while we was gone for spiders little Thomas Franklin Benjamin Jefferson Elexander Phelps found it there and opened the door of it to see if the rats would come out and they did and Aunt Sally she come in and when we got back she was a-standing on top of the bed raising Cain and the rats was doing what they could to keep off the dull times for her So she took and dusted us both with the hickry and we was as much as two hours catching another fifteen or sixteen drat that meddlesome cub and they warn't the likeliest nuther because the first haul was the pick of the flock I never see a likelier lot of rats than what that first haul was We got a splendid stock of sorted spiders and bugs and frogs and caterpillars and one thing or another and we like to got a hornet's nest but we didn't The family was at home We didn't give it right up but stayed with them as long as we could because we allowed we'd tire them out or they'd got to tire us out and they done it Then we got allycumpain and rubbed on the places and was pretty near all right again but couldn't set down convenient And so we went for the snakes and grabbed a couple of dozen garters and house-snakes and put them in a bag and put it in our room and by that time it was supper-time and a rattling good honest day's work and hungry oh no I reckon not And there warn't a blessed snake up there when we went back we didn't half tie the sack and they worked out somehow and left But it didn't matter much because they was still on the premises somewheres So we judged we could get some of them again No there warn't no real scarcity of snakes about the house for a considerable spell You'd see them dripping from the rafters and places every now and then and they generly landed in your plate or down the back of your neck and most of the time where you didn't want them Well they was handsome and striped and there warn't no harm in a million of them but that never made no difference to Aunt Sally she despised snakes be the breed what they might and she couldn't stand them no way you could fix it and every time one of them flopped down on her it didn't make no difference what she was doing she would just lay that work down and light out I never see such a woman And you could hear her whoop to Jericho You couldn't get her to take a-holt of one of them with the tongs And if she turned over and found one in bed she would scramble out and lift a howl that you would think the house was afire She disturbed the old man so that he said he could most wish there hadn't ever been no snakes created Why after every last snake had been gone clear out of the house for as much as a week Aunt Sally warn't over it yet she warn't near over it when she was setting thinking about something you could touch her on the back of her neck with a feather and she would jump right out of her stockings It was very curious But Tom said all women was just so He said they was made that way for some reason or other We got a licking every time one of our snakes come in her way and she allowed these lickings warn't nothing to what she would do if we ever loaded up the place again with them I didn't mind the lickings because they didn't amount to nothing but I minded the trouble we had to lay in another lot But we got them laid in and all the other things and you never see a cabin as blithesome as Jim's was when they'd all swarm out for music and go for him Jim didn't like the spiders and the spiders didn't like Jim and so they'd lay for him and make it mighty warm for him And he said that between the rats and the snakes and the grindstone there warn't no room in bed for him skasely and when there was a body couldn't sleep it was so lively and it was always lively he said because THEY never all slept at one time but took turn about so when the snakes was asleep the rats was on deck and when the rats turned in the snakes come on watch so he always had one gang under him in his way and t'other gang having a circus over him and if he got up to hunt a new place the spiders would take a chance at him as he crossed over He said if he ever got out this time he wouldn't ever be a prisoner again not for a salary Well by the end of three weeks everything was in pretty good shape The shirt was sent in early in a pie and every time a rat bit Jim he would get up and write a little in his journal whilst the ink was fresh the pens was made the inscriptions and so on was all carved on the grindstone the bed-leg was sawed in two and we had et up the sawdust and it give us a most amazing stomach-ache We reckoned we was all going to die but didn't It was the most undigestible sawdust I ever see and Tom said the same But as I was saying we'd got all the work done now at last and we was all pretty much fagged out too but mainly Jim The old man had wrote a couple of times to the plantation below Orleans to come and get their runaway nigger but hadn't got no answer because there warn't no such plantation so he allowed he would advertise Jim in the St Louis and New Orleans papers and when he mentioned the St Louis ones it give me the cold shivers and I see we hadn't no time to lose So Tom said now for the nonnamous letters What's them I says Warnings to the people that something is up Sometimes it's done one way sometimes another But there's always somebody spying around that gives notice to the governor of the castle When Louis XVI was going to light out of the Tooleries a servant-girl done it It's a very good way and so is the nonnamous letters We'll use them both And it's usual for the prisoner's mother to change clothes with him and she stays in and he slides out in her clothes We'll do that too But looky here Tom what do we want to WARN anybody for that something's up Let them find it out for themselves it's their lookout Yes I know but you can't depend on them It's the way they've acted from the very start left us to do EVERYTHING They're so confiding and mullet-headed they don't take notice of nothing at all So if we don't GIVE them notice there won't be nobody nor nothing to interfere with us and so after all our hard work and trouble this escape 'll go off perfectly flat won't amount to nothing won't be nothing TO it Well as for me Tom that's the way I'd like Shucks he says and looked disgusted So I says But I ain't going to make no complaint Any way that suits you suits me What you going to do about the servant-girl You'll be her You slide in in the middle of the night and hook that yaller girl's frock Why Tom that 'll make trouble next morning because of course she prob'bly hain't got any but that one I know but you don't want it but fifteen minutes to carry the nonnamous letter and shove it under the front door All right then I'll do it but I could carry it just as handy in my own togs You wouldn't look like a servant-girl THEN would you No but there won't be nobody to see what I look like ANYWAY That ain't got nothing to do with it The thing for us to do is just to do our DUTY and not worry about whether anybody SEES us do it or not Hain't you got no principle at all All right I ain't saying nothing I'm the servant-girl Who's Jim's mother I'm his mother I'll hook a gown from Aunt Sally Well then you'll have to stay in the cabin when me and Jim leaves Not much I'll stuff Jim's clothes full of straw and lay it on his bed to represent his mother in disguise and Jim 'll take the nigger woman's gown off of me and wear it and we'll all evade together When a prisoner of style escapes it's called an evasion It's always called so when a king escapes f'rinstance And the same with a king's son it don't make no difference whether he's a natural one or an unnatural one So Tom he wrote the nonnamous letter and I smouched the yaller wench's frock that night and put it on and shoved it under the front door the way Tom told me to It said Beware Trouble is brewing Keep a sharp lookout UNKNOWN FRIEND Next night we stuck a picture which Tom drawed in blood of a skull and crossbones on the front door and next night another one of a coffin on the back door I never see a family in such a sweat They couldn't a been worse scared if the place had a been full of ghosts laying for them behind everything and under the beds and shivering through the air If a door banged Aunt Sally she jumped and said ouch if anything fell she jumped and said ouch if you happened to touch her when she warn't noticing she done the same she couldn't face noway and be satisfied because she allowed there was something behind her every time so she was always a-whirling around sudden and saying ouch and before she'd got two-thirds around she'd whirl back again and say it again and she was afraid to go to bed but she dasn't set up So the thing was working very well Tom said he said he never see a thing work more satisfactory He said it showed it was done right So he said now for the grand bulge So the very next morning at the streak of dawn we got another letter ready and was wondering what we better do with it because we heard them say at supper they was going to have a nigger on watch at both doors all night Tom he went down the lightning-rod to spy around and the nigger at the back door was asleep and he stuck it in the back of his neck and come back This letter said Don't betray me I wish to be your friend There is a desprate gang of cut-throats from over in the Indian Territory going to steal your runaway nigger to-night and they have been trying to scare you so as you will stay in the house and not bother them I am one of the gang but have got religgion and wish to quit it and lead an honest life again and will betray the helish design They will sneak down from northards along the fence at midnight exact with a false key and go in the nigger's cabin to get him I am to be off a piece and blow a tin horn if I see any danger but stead of that I will BA like a sheep soon as they get in and not blow at all then whilst they are getting his chains loose you slip there and lock them in and can kill them at your leasure Don't do anything but just the way I am telling you if you do they will suspicion something and raise whoop-jamboreehoo I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing UNKNOWN FRIEND CHAPTER XL WE was feeling pretty good after breakfast and took my canoe and went over the river a-fishing with a lunch and had a good time and took a look at the raft and found her all right and got home late to supper and found them in such a sweat and worry they didn't know which end they was standing on and made us go right off to bed the minute we was done supper and wouldn't tell us what the trouble was and never let on a word about the new letter but didn't need to because we knowed as much about it as anybody did and as soon as we was half up stairs and her back was turned we slid for the cellar cupboard and loaded up a good lunch and took it up to our room and went to bed and got up about half-past eleven and Tom put on Aunt Sally's dress that he stole and was going to start with the lunch but says Where's the butter I laid out a hunk of it I says on a piece of a corn-pone Well you LEFT it laid out then it ain't here We can get along without it I says We can get along WITH it too he says just you slide down cellar and fetch it And then mosey right down the lightning-rod and come along I'll go and stuff the straw into Jim's clothes to represent his mother in disguise and be ready to BA like a sheep and shove soon as you get there So out he went and down cellar went I The hunk of butter big as a person's fist was where I had left it so I took up the slab of corn-pone with it on and blowed out my light and started up stairs very stealthy and got up to the main floor all right but here comes Aunt Sally with a candle and I clapped the truck in my hat and clapped my hat on my head and the next second she see me and she says You been down cellar Yes'm What you been doing down there Noth'n NOTH'N No'm Well then what possessed you to go down there this time of night I don't know 'm You don't KNOW Don't answer me that way Tom I want to know what you been DOING down there I hain't been doing a single thing Aunt Sally I hope to gracious if I have I reckoned she'd let me go now and as a generl thing she would but I s'pose there was so many strange things going on she was just in a sweat about every little thing that warn't yard-stick straight so she says very decided You just march into that setting-room and stay there till I come You been up to something you no business to and I lay I'll find out what it is before I'M done with you So she went away as I opened the door and walked into the setting-room My but there was a crowd there Fifteen farmers and every one of them had a gun I was most powerful sick and slunk to a chair and set down They was setting around some of them talking a little in a low voice and all of them fidgety and uneasy but trying to look like they warn't but I knowed they was because they was always taking off their hats and putting them on and scratching their heads and changing their seats and fumbling with their buttons I warn't easy myself but I didn't take my hat off all the same I did wish Aunt Sally would come and get done with me and lick me if she wanted to and let me get away and tell Tom how we'd overdone this thing and what a thundering hornet's-nest we'd got ourselves into so we could stop fooling around straight off and clear out with Jim before these rips got out of patience and come for us At last she come and begun to ask me questions but I COULDN'T answer them straight I didn't know which end of me was up because these men was in such a fidget now that some was wanting to start right NOW and lay for them desperadoes and saying it warn't but a few minutes to midnight and others was trying to get them to hold on and wait for the sheep-signal and here was Aunty pegging away at the questions and me a-shaking all over and ready to sink down in my tracks I was that scared and the place getting hotter and hotter and the butter beginning to melt and run down my neck and behind my ears and pretty soon when one of them says I'M for going and getting in the cabin FIRST and right NOW and catching them when they come I most dropped and a streak of butter come a-trickling down my forehead and Aunt Sally she see it and turns white as a sheet and says For the land's sake what IS the matter with the child He's got the brain-fever as shore as you're born and they're oozing out And everybody runs to see and she snatches off my hat and out comes the bread and what was left of the butter and she grabbed me and hugged me and says Oh what a turn you did give me and how glad and grateful I am it ain't no worse for luck's against us and it never rains but it pours and when I see that truck I thought we'd lost you for I knowed by the color and all it was just like your brains would be if Dear dear whyd'nt you TELL me that was what you'd been down there for I wouldn't a cared Now cler out to bed and don't lemme see no more of you till morning I was up stairs in a second and down the lightning-rod in another one and shinning through the dark for the lean-to I couldn't hardly get my words out I was so anxious but I told Tom as quick as I could we must jump for it now and not a minute to lose the house full of men yonder with guns His eyes just blazed and he says No is that so AIN'T it bully Why Huck if it was to do over again I bet I could fetch two hundred If we could put it off till Hurry HURRY I says Where's Jim Right at your elbow if you reach out your arm you can touch him He's dressed and everything's ready Now we'll slide out and give the sheep-signal But then we heard the tramp of men coming to the door and heard them begin to fumble with the pad-lock and heard a man say I TOLD you we'd be too soon they haven't come the door is locked Here I'll lock some of you into the cabin and you lay for 'em in the dark and kill 'em when they come and the rest scatter around a piece and listen if you can hear 'em coming So in they come but couldn't see us in the dark and most trod on us whilst we was hustling to get under the bed But we got under all right and out through the hole swift but soft Jim first me next and Tom last which was according to Tom's orders Now we was in the lean-to and heard trampings close by outside So we crept to the door and Tom stopped us there and put his eye to the crack but couldn't make out nothing it was so dark and whispered and said he would listen for the steps to get further and when he nudged us Jim must glide out first and him last So he set his ear to the crack and listened and listened and listened and the steps a-scraping around out there all the time and at last he nudged us and we slid out and stooped down not breathing and not making the least noise and slipped stealthy towards the fence in Injun file and got to it all right and me and Jim over it but Tom's britches catched fast on a splinter on the top rail and then he hear the steps coming so he had to pull loose which snapped the splinter and made a noise and as he dropped in our tracks and started somebody sings out Who's that Answer or I'll shoot But we didn't answer we just unfurled our heels and shoved Then there was a rush and a BANG BANG BANG and the bullets fairly whizzed around us We heard them sing out Here they are They've broke for the river After 'em boys and turn loose the dogs So here they come full tilt We could hear them because they wore boots and yelled but we didn't wear no boots and didn't yell We was in the path to the mill and when they got pretty close on to us we dodged into the bush and let them go by and then dropped in behind them They'd had all the dogs shut up so they wouldn't scare off the robbers but by this time somebody had let them loose and here they come making powwow enough for a million but they was our dogs so we stopped in our tracks till they catched up and when they see it warn't nobody but us and no excitement to offer them they only just said howdy and tore right ahead towards the shouting and clattering and then we up-steam again and whizzed along after them till we was nearly to the mill and then struck up through the bush to where my canoe was tied and hopped in and pulled for dear life towards the middle of the river but didn't make no more noise than we was obleeged to Then we struck out easy and comfortable for the island where my raft was and we could hear them yelling and barking at each other all up and down the bank till we was so far away the sounds got dim and died out And when we stepped on to the raft I says NOW old Jim you're a free man again and I bet you won't ever be a slave no more En a mighty good job it wuz too Huck It 'uz planned beautiful en it 'uz done beautiful en dey ain't NOBODY kin git up a plan dat's mo' mixed-up en splendid den what dat one wuz We was all glad as we could be but Tom was the gladdest of all because he had a bullet in the calf of his leg When me and Jim heard that we didn't feel so brash as what we did before It was hurting him considerable and bleeding so we laid him in the wigwam and tore up one of the duke's shirts for to bandage him but he says Gimme the rags I can do it myself Don't stop now don't fool around here and the evasion booming along so handsome man the sweeps and set her loose Boys we done it elegant 'deed we did I wish WE'D a had the handling of Louis XVI there wouldn't a been no 'Son of Saint Louis ascend to heaven wrote down in HIS biography no sir we'd a whooped him over the BORDER that's what we'd a done with HIM and done it just as slick as nothing at all too Man the sweeps man the sweeps But me and Jim was consulting and thinking And after we'd thought a minute I says Say it Jim So he says Well den dis is de way it look to me Huck Ef it wuz HIM dat 'uz bein' sot free en one er de boys wuz to git shot would he say 'Go on en save me nemmine 'bout a doctor f'r to save dis one Is dat like Mars Tom Sawyer Would he say dat You BET he wouldn't WELL den is JIM gywne to say it No sah I doan' budge a step out'n dis place 'dout a DOCTOR not if it's forty year I knowed he was white inside and I reckoned he'd say what he did say so it was all right now and I told Tom I was a-going for a doctor He raised considerable row about it but me and Jim stuck to it and wouldn't budge so he was for crawling out and setting the raft loose himself but we wouldn't let him Then he give us a piece of his mind but it didn't do no good So when he sees me getting the canoe ready he says Well then if you re bound to go I'll tell you the way to do when you get to the village Shut the door and blindfold the doctor tight and fast and make him swear to be silent as the grave and put a purse full of gold in his hand and then take and lead him all around the back alleys and everywheres in the dark and then fetch him here in the canoe in a roundabout way amongst the islands and search him and take his chalk away from him and don't give it back to him till you get him back to the village or else he will chalk this raft so he can find it again It's the way they all do So I said I would and left and Jim was to hide in the woods when he see the doctor coming till he was gone again CHAPTER XLI THE doctor was an old man a very nice kind-looking old man when I got him up I told him me and my brother was over on Spanish Island hunting yesterday afternoon and camped on a piece of a raft we found and about midnight he must a kicked his gun in his dreams for it went off and shot him in the leg and we wanted him to go over there and fix it and not say nothing about it nor let anybody know because we wanted to come home this evening and surprise the folks Who is your folks he says The Phelpses down yonder Oh he says And after a minute he says How'd you say he got shot He had a dream I says and it shot him Singular dream he says So he lit up his lantern and got his saddle-bags and we started But when he sees the canoe he didn't like the look of her said she was big enough for one but didn't look pretty safe for two I says Oh you needn't be afeard sir she carried the three of us easy enough What three Why me and Sid and and and THE GUNS that's what I mean Oh he says But he put his foot on the gunnel and rocked her and shook his head and said he reckoned he'd look around for a bigger one But they was all locked and chained so he took my canoe and said for me to wait till he come back or I could hunt around further or maybe I better go down home and get them ready for the surprise if I wanted to But I said I didn't so I told him just how to find the raft and then he started I struck an idea pretty soon I says to myself spos'n he can't fix that leg just in three shakes of a sheep's tail as the saying is spos'n it takes him three or four days What are we going to do lay around there till he lets the cat out of the bag No sir I know what I'LL do I'll wait and when he comes back if he says he's got to go any more I'll get down there too if I swim and we'll take and tie him and keep him and shove out down the river and when Tom's done with him we'll give him what it's worth or all we got and then let him get ashore So then I crept into a lumber-pile to get some sleep and next time I waked up the sun was away up over my head I shot out and went for the doctor's house but they told me he'd gone away in the night some time or other and warn't back yet Well thinks I that looks powerful bad for Tom and I'll dig out for the island right off So away I shoved and turned the corner and nearly rammed my head into Uncle Silas's stomach He says Why TOM Where you been all this time you rascal I hain't been nowheres I says only just hunting for the runaway nigger me and Sid Why where ever did you go he says Your aunt's been mighty uneasy She needn't I says because we was all right We followed the men and the dogs but they outrun us and we lost them but we thought we heard them on the water so we got a canoe and took out after them and crossed over but couldn't find nothing of them so we cruised along up-shore till we got kind of tired and beat out and tied up the canoe and went to sleep and never waked up till about an hour ago then we paddled over here to hear the news and Sid's at the post-office to see what he can hear and I'm a-branching out to get something to eat for us and then we're going home So then we went to the post-office to get Sid but just as I suspicioned he warn't there so the old man he got a letter out of the office and we waited awhile longer but Sid didn't come so the old man said come along let Sid foot it home or canoe it when he got done fooling around but we would ride I couldn't get him to let me stay and wait for Sid and he said there warn't no use in it and I must come along and let Aunt Sally see we was all right When we got home Aunt Sally was that glad to see me she laughed and cried both and hugged me and give me one of them lickings of hern that don't amount to shucks and said she'd serve Sid the same when he come And the place was plum full of farmers and farmers' wives to dinner and such another clack a body never heard Old Mrs Hotchkiss was the worst her tongue was a-going all the time She says Well Sister Phelps I've ransacked that-air cabin over an' I b'lieve the nigger was crazy I says to Sister Damrell didn't I Sister Damrell s'I he's crazy s'I them's the very words I said You all hearn me he's crazy s'I everything shows it s'I Look at that-air grindstone s'I want to tell ME't any cretur 't's in his right mind 's a goin' to scrabble all them crazy things onto a grindstone s'I Here sich 'n' sich a person busted his heart 'n' here so 'n' so pegged along for thirty-seven year 'n' all that natcherl son o' Louis somebody 'n' sich everlast'n rubbage He's plumb crazy s'I it's what I says in the fust place it's what I says in the middle 'n' it's what I says last 'n' all the time the nigger's crazy crazy 's Nebokoodneezer s'I An' look at that-air ladder made out'n rags Sister Hotchkiss says old Mrs Damrell what in the name o' goodness COULD he ever want of The very words I was a-sayin' no longer ago th'n this minute to Sister Utterback 'n' she'll tell you so herself Sh-she look at that-air rag ladder sh-she 'n' s'I yes LOOK at it s'I what COULD he a-wanted of it s'I Sh-she Sister Hotchkiss sh-she But how in the nation'd they ever GIT that grindstone IN there ANYWAY 'n' who dug that-air HOLE 'n' who My very WORDS Brer Penrod I was a-sayin' pass that-air sasser o' m'lasses won't ye I was a-sayin' to Sister Dunlap jist this minute how DID they git that grindstone in there s'I Without HELP mind you 'thout HELP THAT'S wher 'tis Don't tell ME s'I there WUZ help s'I 'n' ther' wuz a PLENTY help too s'I ther's ben a DOZEN a-helpin' that nigger 'n' I lay I'd skin every last nigger on this place but I'D find out who done it s'I 'n' moreover s'I A DOZEN says you FORTY couldn't a done every thing that's been done Look at them case-knife saws and things how tedious they've been made look at that bed-leg sawed off with 'm a week's work for six men look at that nigger made out'n straw on the bed and look at You may WELL say it Brer Hightower It's jist as I was a-sayin' to Brer Phelps his own self S'e what do YOU think of it Sister Hotchkiss s'e Think o' what Brer Phelps s'I Think o' that bed-leg sawed off that a way s'e THINK of it s'I I lay it never sawed ITSELF off s'I somebody SAWED it s'I that's my opinion take it or leave it it mayn't be no 'count s'I but sich as 't is it's my opinion s'I 'n' if any body k'n start a better one s'I let him DO it s'I that's all I says to Sister Dunlap s'I Why dog my cats they must a ben a house-full o' niggers in there every night for four weeks to a done all that work Sister Phelps Look at that shirt every last inch of it kivered over with secret African writ'n done with blood Must a ben a raft uv 'm at it right along all the time amost Why I'd give two dollars to have it read to me 'n' as for the niggers that wrote it I 'low I'd take 'n' lash 'm t'll People to HELP him Brother Marples Well I reckon you'd THINK so if you'd a been in this house for a while back Why they've stole everything they could lay their hands on and we a-watching all the time mind you They stole that shirt right off o' the line and as for that sheet they made the rag ladder out of ther' ain't no telling how many times they DIDN'T steal that and flour and candles and candlesticks and spoons and the old warming-pan and most a thousand things that I disremember now and my new calico dress and me and Silas and my Sid and Tom on the constant watch day AND night as I was a-telling you and not a one of us could catch hide nor hair nor sight nor sound of them and here at the last minute lo and behold you they slides right in under our noses and fools us and not only fools US but the Injun Territory robbers too and actuly gets AWAY with that nigger safe and sound and that with sixteen men and twenty-two dogs right on their very heels at that very time I tell you it just bangs anything I ever HEARD of Why SPERITS couldn't a done better and been no smarter And I reckon they must a BEEN sperits because YOU know our dogs and ther' ain't no better well them dogs never even got on the TRACK of 'm once You explain THAT to me if you can ANY of you Well it does beat Laws alive I never So help me I wouldn't a be HOUSE-thieves as well as Goodness gracious sakes I'd a ben afeard to live in sich a 'Fraid to LIVE why I was that scared I dasn't hardly go to bed or get up or lay down or SET down Sister Ridgeway Why they'd steal the very why goodness sakes you can guess what kind of a fluster I was in by the time midnight come last night I hope to gracious if I warn't afraid they'd steal some o' the family I was just to that pass I didn't have no reasoning faculties no more It looks foolish enough NOW in the daytime but I says to myself there's my two poor boys asleep 'way up stairs in that lonesome room and I declare to goodness I was that uneasy 't I crep' up there and locked 'em in I DID And anybody would Because you know when you get scared that way and it keeps running on and getting worse and worse all the time and your wits gets to addling and you get to doing all sorts o' wild things and by and by you think to yourself spos'n I was a boy and was away up there and the door ain't locked and you She stopped looking kind of wondering and then she turned her head around slow and when her eye lit on me I got up and took a walk Says I to myself I can explain better how we come to not be in that room this morning if I go out to one side and study over it a little So I done it But I dasn't go fur or she'd a sent for me And when it was late in the day the people all went and then I come in and told her the noise and shooting waked up me and Sid and the door was locked and we wanted to see the fun so we went down the lightning-rod and both of us got hurt a little and we didn't never want to try THAT no more And then I went on and told her all what I told Uncle Silas before and then she said she'd forgive us and maybe it was all right enough anyway and about what a body might expect of boys for all boys was a pretty harum-scarum lot as fur as she could see and so as long as no harm hadn't come of it she judged she better put in her time being grateful we was alive and well and she had us still stead of fretting over what was past and done So then she kissed me and patted me on the head and dropped into a kind of a brown study and pretty soon jumps up and says Why lawsamercy it's most night and Sid not come yet What HAS become of that boy I see my chance so I skips up and says I'll run right up to town and get him I says No you won't she says You'll stay right wher' you are ONE'S enough to be lost at a time If he ain't here to supper your uncle 'll go Well he warn't there to supper so right after supper uncle went He come back about ten a little bit uneasy hadn't run across Tom's track Aunt Sally was a good DEAL uneasy but Uncle Silas he said there warn't no occasion to be boys will be boys he said and you'll see this one turn up in the morning all sound and right So she had to be satisfied But she said she'd set up for him a while anyway and keep a light burning so he could see it And then when I went up to bed she come up with me and fetched her candle and tucked me in and mothered me so good I felt mean and like I couldn't look her in the face and she set down on the bed and talked with me a long time and said what a splendid boy Sid was and didn't seem to want to ever stop talking about him and kept asking me every now and then if I reckoned he could a got lost or hurt or maybe drownded and might be laying at this minute somewheres suffering or dead and she not by him to help him and so the tears would drip down silent and I would tell her that Sid was all right and would be home in the morning sure and she would squeeze my hand or maybe kiss me and tell me to say it again and keep on saying it because it done her good and she was in so much trouble And when she was going away she looked down in my eyes so steady and gentle and says The door ain't going to be locked Tom and there's the window and the rod but you'll be good WON'T you And you won't go For MY sake Laws knows I WANTED to go bad enough to see about Tom and was all intending to go but after that I wouldn't a went not for kingdoms But she was on my mind and Tom was on my mind so I slept very restless And twice I went down the rod away in the night and slipped around front and see her setting there by her candle in the window with her eyes towards the road and the tears in them and I wished I could do something for her but I couldn't only to swear that I wouldn't never do nothing to grieve her any more And the third time I waked up at dawn and slid down and she was there yet and her candle was most out and her old gray head was resting on her hand and she was asleep CHAPTER XLII THE old man was uptown again before breakfast but couldn't get no track of Tom and both of them set at the table thinking and not saying nothing and looking mournful and their coffee getting cold and not eating anything And by and by the old man says Did I give you the letter What letter The one I got yesterday out of the post-office No you didn't give me no letter Well I must a forgot it So he rummaged his pockets and then went off somewheres where he had laid it down and fetched it and give it to her She says Why it's from St Petersburg it's from Sis I allowed another walk would do me good but I couldn't stir But before she could break it open she dropped it and run for she see something And so did I It was Tom Sawyer on a mattress and that old doctor and Jim in HER calico dress with his hands tied behind him and a lot of people I hid the letter behind the first thing that come handy and rushed She flung herself at Tom crying and says Oh he's dead he's dead I know he's dead And Tom he turned his head a little and muttered something or other which showed he warn't in his right mind then she flung up her hands and says He's alive thank God And that's enough and she snatched a kiss of him and flew for the house to get the bed ready and scattering orders right and left at the niggers and everybody else as fast as her tongue could go every jump of the way I followed the men to see what they was going to do with Jim and the old doctor and Uncle Silas followed after Tom into the house The men was very huffy and some of them wanted to hang Jim for an example to all the other niggers around there so they wouldn't be trying to run away like Jim done and making such a raft of trouble and keeping a whole family scared most to death for days and nights But the others said don't do it it wouldn't answer at all he ain't our nigger and his owner would turn up and make us pay for him sure So that cooled them down a little because the people that's always the most anxious for to hang a nigger that hain't done just right is always the very ones that ain't the most anxious to pay for him when they've got their satisfaction out of him They cussed Jim considerble though and give him a cuff or two side the head once in a while but Jim never said nothing and he never let on to know me and they took him to the same cabin and put his own clothes on him and chained him again and not to no bed-leg this time but to a big staple drove into the bottom log and chained his hands too and both legs and said he warn't to have nothing but bread and water to eat after this till his owner come or he was sold at auction because he didn't come in a certain length of time and filled up our hole and said a couple of farmers with guns must stand watch around about the cabin every night and a bulldog tied to the door in the daytime and about this time they was through with the job and was tapering off with a kind of generl good-bye cussing and then the old doctor comes and takes a look and says Don't be no rougher on him than you're obleeged to because he ain't a bad nigger When I got to where I found the boy I see I couldn't cut the bullet out without some help and he warn't in no condition for me to leave to go and get help and he got a little worse and a little worse and after a long time he went out of his head and wouldn't let me come a-nigh him any more and said if I chalked his raft he'd kill me and no end of wild foolishness like that and I see I couldn't do anything at all with him so I says I got to have HELP somehow and the minute I says it out crawls this nigger from somewheres and says he'll help and he done it too and done it very well Of course I judged he must be a runaway nigger and there I WAS and there I had to stick right straight along all the rest of the day and all night It was a fix I tell you I had a couple of patients with the chills and of course I'd of liked to run up to town and see them but I dasn't because the nigger might get away and then I'd be to blame and yet never a skiff come close enough for me to hail So there I had to stick plumb until daylight this morning and I never see a nigger that was a better nuss or faithfuller and yet he was risking his freedom to do it and was all tired out too and I see plain enough he'd been worked main hard lately I liked the nigger for that I tell you gentlemen a nigger like that is worth a thousand dollars and kind treatment too I had everything I needed and the boy was doing as well there as he would a done at home better maybe because it was so quiet but there I WAS with both of 'm on my hands and there I had to stick till about dawn this morning then some men in a skiff come by and as good luck would have it the nigger was setting by the pallet with his head propped on his knees sound asleep so I motioned them in quiet and they slipped up on him and grabbed him and tied him before he knowed what he was about and we never had no trouble And the boy being in a kind of a flighty sleep too we muffled the oars and hitched the raft on and towed her over very nice and quiet and the nigger never made the least row nor said a word from the start He ain't no bad nigger gentlemen that's what I think about him Somebody says Well it sounds very good doctor I'm obleeged to say Then the others softened up a little too and I was mighty thankful to that old doctor for doing Jim that good turn and I was glad it was according to my judgment of him too because I thought he had a good heart in him and was a good man the first time I see him Then they all agreed that Jim had acted very well and was deserving to have some notice took of it and reward So every one of them promised right out and hearty that they wouldn't cuss him no more Then they come out and locked him up I hoped they was going to say he could have one or two of the chains took off because they was rotten heavy or could have meat and greens with his bread and water but they didn't think of it and I reckoned it warn't best for me to mix in but I judged I'd get the doctor's yarn to Aunt Sally somehow or other as soon as I'd got through the breakers that was laying just ahead of me explanations I mean of how I forgot to mention about Sid being shot when I was telling how him and me put in that dratted night paddling around hunting the runaway nigger But I had plenty time Aunt Sally she stuck to the sick-room all day and all night and every time I see Uncle Silas mooning around I dodged him Next morning I heard Tom was a good deal better and they said Aunt Sally was gone to get a nap So I slips to the sick-room and if I found him awake I reckoned we could put up a yarn for the family that would wash But he was sleeping and sleeping very peaceful too and pale not fire-faced the way he was when he come So I set down and laid for him to wake In about half an hour Aunt Sally comes gliding in and there I was up a stump again She motioned me to be still and set down by me and begun to whisper and said we could all be joyful now because all the symptoms was first-rate and he'd been sleeping like that for ever so long and looking better and peacefuller all the time and ten to one he'd wake up in his right mind So we set there watching and by and by he stirs a bit and opened his eyes very natural and takes a look and says Hello why I'm at HOME How's that Where's the raft It's all right I says And JIM The same I says but couldn't say it pretty brash But he never noticed but says Good Splendid NOW we're all right and safe Did you tell Aunty I was going to say yes but she chipped in and says About what Sid Why about the way the whole thing was done What whole thing Why THE whole thing There ain't but one how we set the runaway nigger free me and Tom Good land Set the run What IS the child talking about Dear dear out of his head again NO I ain't out of my HEAD I know all what I'm talking about We DID set him free me and Tom We laid out to do it and we DONE it And we done it elegant too He'd got a start and she never checked him up just set and stared and stared and let him clip along and I see it warn't no use for ME to put in Why Aunty it cost us a power of work weeks of it hours and hours every night whilst you was all asleep And we had to steal candles and the sheet and the shirt and your dress and spoons and tin plates and case-knives and the warming-pan and the grindstone and flour and just no end of things and you can't think what work it was to make the saws and pens and inscriptions and one thing or another and you can't think HALF the fun it was And we had to make up the pictures of coffins and things and nonnamous letters from the robbers and get up and down the lightning-rod and dig the hole into the cabin and made the rope ladder and send it in cooked up in a pie and send in spoons and things to work with in your apron pocket Mercy sakes and load up the cabin with rats and snakes and so on for company for Jim and then you kept Tom here so long with the butter in his hat that you come near spiling the whole business because the men come before we was out of the cabin and we had to rush and they heard us and let drive at us and I got my share and we dodged out of the path and let them go by and when the dogs come they warn't interested in us but went for the most noise and we got our canoe and made for the raft and was all safe and Jim was a free man and we done it all by ourselves and WASN'T it bully Aunty Well I never heard the likes of it in all my born days So it was YOU you little rapscallions that's been making all this trouble and turned everybody's wits clean inside out and scared us all most to death I've as good a notion as ever I had in my life to take it out o' you this very minute To think here I've been night after night a YOU just get well once you young scamp and I lay I'll tan the Old Harry out o' both o' ye But Tom he WAS so proud and joyful he just COULDN'T hold in and his tongue just WENT it she a-chipping in and spitting fire all along and both of them going it at once like a cat convention and she says WELL you get all the enjoyment you can out of it NOW for mind I tell you if I catch you meddling with him again Meddling with WHO Tom says dropping his smile and looking surprised With WHO Why the runaway nigger of course Who'd you reckon Tom looks at me very grave and says Tom didn't you just tell me he was all right Hasn't he got away HIM says Aunt Sally the runaway nigger 'Deed he hasn't They've got him back safe and sound and he's in that cabin again on bread and water and loaded down with chains till he's claimed or sold Tom rose square up in bed with his eye hot and his nostrils opening and shutting like gills and sings out to me They hain't no RIGHT to shut him up SHOVE and don't you lose a minute Turn him loose he ain't no slave he's as free as any cretur that walks this earth What DOES the child mean I mean every word I SAY Aunt Sally and if somebody don't go I'LL go I've knowed him all his life and so has Tom there Old Miss Watson died two months ago and she was ashamed she ever was going to sell him down the river and SAID so and she set him free in her will Then what on earth did YOU want to set him free for seeing he was already free Well that IS a question I must say and just like women Why I wanted the ADVENTURE of it and I'd a waded neck-deep in blood to goodness alive AUNT POLLY If she warn't standing right there just inside the door looking as sweet and contented as an angel half full of pie I wish I may never Aunt Sally jumped for her and most hugged the head off of her and cried over her and I found a good enough place for me under the bed for it was getting pretty sultry for us seemed to me And I peeped out and in a little while Tom's Aunt Polly shook herself loose and stood there looking across at Tom over her spectacles kind of grinding him into the earth you know And then she says Yes you BETTER turn y'r head away I would if I was you Tom Oh deary me says Aunt Sally IS he changed so Why that ain't TOM it's Sid Tom's Tom's why where is Tom He was here a minute ago You mean where's Huck FINN that's what you mean I reckon I hain't raised such a scamp as my Tom all these years not to know him when I SEE him That WOULD be a pretty howdy-do Come out from under that bed Huck Finn So I done it But not feeling brash Aunt Sally she was one of the mixed-upest-looking persons I ever see except one and that was Uncle Silas when he come in and they told it all to him It kind of made him drunk as you may say and he didn't know nothing at all the rest of the day and preached a prayer-meeting sermon that night that gave him a rattling ruputation because the oldest man in the world couldn't a understood it So Tom's Aunt Polly she told all about who I was and what and I had to up and tell how I was in such a tight place that when Mrs Phelps took me for Tom Sawyer she chipped in and says Oh go on and call me Aunt Sally I'm used to it now and 'tain't no need to change that when Aunt Sally took me for Tom Sawyer I had to stand it there warn't no other way and I knowed he wouldn't mind because it would be nuts for him being a mystery and he'd make an adventure out of it and be perfectly satisfied And so it turned out and he let on to be Sid and made things as soft as he could for me And his Aunt Polly she said Tom was right about old Miss Watson setting Jim free in her will and so sure enough Tom Sawyer had gone and took all that trouble and bother to set a free nigger free and I couldn't ever understand before until that minute and that talk how he COULD help a body set a nigger free with his bringing-up Well Aunt Polly she said that when Aunt Sally wrote to her that Tom and SID had come all right and safe she says to herself Look at that now I might have expected it letting him go off that way without anybody to watch him So now I got to go and trapse all the way down the river eleven hundred mile and find out what that creetur's up to THIS time as long as I couldn't seem to get any answer out of you about it Why I never heard nothing from you says Aunt Sally Well I wonder Why I wrote you twice to ask you what you could mean by Sid being here Well I never got 'em Sis Aunt Polly she turns around slow and severe and says You Tom Well WHAT he says kind of pettish Don t you what ME you impudent thing hand out them letters What letters THEM letters I be bound if I have to take a-holt of you I'll They're in the trunk There now And they're just the same as they was when I got them out of the office I hain't looked into them I hain't touched them But I knowed they'd make trouble and I thought if you warn't in no hurry I'd Well you DO need skinning there ain't no mistake about it And I wrote another one to tell you I was coming and I s'pose he No it come yesterday I hain't read it yet but IT'S all right I've got that one I wanted to offer to bet two dollars she hadn't but I reckoned maybe it was just as safe to not to So I never said nothing CHAPTER THE LAST THE first time I catched Tom private I asked him what was his idea time of the evasion what it was he'd planned to do if the evasion worked all right and he managed to set a nigger free that was already free before And he said what he had planned in his head from the start if we got Jim out all safe was for us to run him down the river on the raft and have adventures plumb to the mouth of the river and then tell him about his being free and take him back up home on a steamboat in style and pay him for his lost time and write word ahead and get out all the niggers around and have them waltz him into town with a torchlight procession and a brass-band and then he would be a hero and so would we But I reckoned it was about as well the way it was We had Jim out of the chains in no time and when Aunt Polly and Uncle Silas and Aunt Sally found out how good he helped the doctor nurse Tom they made a heap of fuss over him and fixed him up prime and give him all he wanted to eat and a good time and nothing to do And we had him up to the sick-room and had a high talk and Tom give Jim forty dollars for being prisoner for us so patient and doing it up so good and Jim was pleased most to death and busted out and says DAH now Huck what I tell you what I tell you up dah on Jackson islan' I TOLE you I got a hairy breas' en what's de sign un it en I TOLE you I ben rich wunst en gwineter to be rich AGIN en it's come true en heah she is DAH now doan' talk to ME signs is SIGNS mine I tell you en I knowed jis' 's well 'at I 'uz gwineter be rich agin as I's a-stannin' heah dis minute And then Tom he talked along and talked along and says le's all three slide out of here one of these nights and get an outfit and go for howling adventures amongst the Injuns over in the Territory for a couple of weeks or two and I says all right that suits me but I ain't got no money for to buy the outfit and I reckon I couldn't get none from home because it's likely pap's been back before now and got it all away from Judge Thatcher and drunk it up No he hain't Tom says it's all there yet six thousand dollars and more and your pap hain't ever been back since Hadn't when I come away anyhow Jim says kind of solemn He ain't a-comin' back no mo' Huck I says Why Jim Nemmine why Huck but he ain't comin' back no mo But I kept at him so at last he says Doan' you 'member de house dat was float'n down de river en dey wuz a man in dah kivered up en I went in en unkivered him and didn' let you come in Well den you kin git yo' money when you wants it kase dat wuz him Tom's most well now and got his bullet around his neck on a watch-guard for a watch and is always seeing what time it is and so there ain't nothing more to write about and I am rotten glad of it because if I'd a knowed what a trouble it was to make a book I wouldn't a tackled it and ain't a-going to no more But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of the rest because Aunt Sally she's going to adopt me and sivilize me and I can't stand it I been there before